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No Plagiarism!OOAwf7kqqiGE1n2SoDCiposted on PENANA 「…..抱歉我講得太直接了」8964 copyright protection180PENANANGNggaNH4V 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAEu0XwvkwQo
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「沒…沒關係,畢竟月鴻同學這是已經比較好了」8964 copyright protection180PENANAaBJ1yd6s2t 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAHk5Qv2MCpL
8964 copyright protection180PENANA6Scp5fUYcL 維尼
的確比之前網路上的留言來講,我已經是小case了,畢竟也沒有真的用不好的言語。8964 copyright protection180PENANADL1LwWLGl1 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAmVgIMJ1NLJ
8964 copyright protection180PENANAdNAhKzXA07 維尼
雲晴同學也立即了恢復了狀況,打起了精神。8964 copyright protection180PENANAKM1Vo0K4Oj 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAYUVONk9gDW
8964 copyright protection180PENANAw4sdwp5Mrp 維尼
「可...可以問一下是哪裡不行嗎?」8964 copyright protection180PENANAfzT4KywkQp 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAdoahLb8vD2
8964 copyright protection180PENANAIoN3xzmUXd 維尼
她委婉的向我詢問出問題的點,其實不用這樣也行畢竟都答應要幫助她了,怎麼可能說完不行就走。8964 copyright protection180PENANAuPnGFZ5ULe 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAoKSL7tACTK
8964 copyright protection180PENANACu6L44JWKw 維尼
「首先不講劇情好了,劇情的話只有一點問題這我們可以之後討論,但重點是用詞方面的問題」8964 copyright protection180PENANAgA0N9Fw4YI 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANACzoZM0cdz3
8964 copyright protection180PENANAxVlyUhnY1A 維尼
「用詞....」8964 copyright protection180PENANA48hPNNxymF 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAyYQHjJpc0I
8964 copyright protection180PENANAutcA6xkDZM 維尼
「首先是贅字太多了」8964 copyright protection180PENANAX2KcveFdtN 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAmMUDQKnGbs
8964 copyright protection180PENANApPVK5d3HV1 維尼
「贅字是什麼意思?」8964 copyright protection180PENANA4Zg8jp1I8c 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAYfDg4ZgQVC
8964 copyright protection180PENANAAAUqkTAZh6 維尼
「就是一些多餘的字喔,現在有很多新手作家常常把一些重複的字不斷的加進文章裡面,讓人讀起來很不順暢」8964 copyright protection180PENANAGWvHuQlrDG 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAf1U0U94uPs
8964 copyright protection180PENANAE9MxJERZ2u 維尼
「原來如此……」8964 copyright protection180PENANA90TaPco1bO 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANABquioavY7T
8964 copyright protection180PENANAqsHInmT1EU 維尼
「最常見的就是那個、這些、並且、而且、還有、然而等等...不是說不能用但要學會如何去做運用」8964 copyright protection180PENANAzfnT3yNBFF 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAukRg0ZuadS
8964 copyright protection180PENANAUwJt3F0pWd 維尼
這是很多作家初期常常犯的錯誤,我當時也是一樣。8964 copyright protection180PENANAYIEYDNSpBa 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAF2JzqMuyZB
8964 copyright protection180PENANAQxVVrFMrqB 維尼
但通常都會由朋友或是網路的讀者看過後提出來,但可惜的是,沒什麼人關注雲晴同學的作品。8964 copyright protection180PENANAR84WmEuPRz 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANABehoNCjE3b
8964 copyright protection180PENANAsHpHuKYbjV 維尼
而她也沒有勇氣向其他人說出自己在寫小說這個事情…..8964 copyright protection180PENANA11a6ncdFEz 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANA6yrg8490zI
8964 copyright protection180PENANAX8fv1sa0vE 維尼
在雲晴同學聽了我的話後,將手放在了下巴上面思考著什麼表情十分的認真。8964 copyright protection180PENANA7gQiDy4CFs 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAW8v1jwgVvq
8964 copyright protection180PENANA5uCl5ketOZ 維尼
「阿!就像是如果要在一大堆人面前講話的時候,會因為太過緊張導致一直出現同一個詞,之前在台上發表感言的學生就是這樣,讓人感覺他一定很緊張」8964 copyright protection180PENANArUTrLTtN9k 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAVGMMczSAvS
8964 copyright protection180PENANAOLUHdR2Rzx 維尼
突然她就像是想到甚麼一樣將自己的想法說出來,同時也順便嘴了一下之前的學生代表致詞。8964 copyright protection180PENANAkXUVAiEDC5 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAQM2IOJciq5
8964 copyright protection180PENANARAjKOwV3X1 維尼
「差不多..就只是變成在文章上面的贅字而已」8964 copyright protection180PENANA3U8MOyCfn9 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAMF3GL8QvQz
8964 copyright protection180PENANA2WUKNKS5ib 維尼
贅字通常是在打字時無意間用到的,時常會以為加了這些字後句子會比較順暢,但其實這都是要看狀況。8964 copyright protection180PENANA3IEdsx4DjK 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAXPRI9kIS4m
8964 copyright protection180PENANAOP7wPk1heg 維尼
不然通常時候去掉那些字也不會突然改變句子的意思。8964 copyright protection180PENANAxNrpcGGeLv 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAovimdCs60b
8964 copyright protection180PENANAdVnj6R80IT 維尼
「那我看一下!」8964 copyright protection180PENANACrmapN2jrX 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAnwHOsYltnJ
8964 copyright protection180PENANAJ9VkSz0cpr 維尼
「等….」8964 copyright protection180PENANAyOqAA9QHpL 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAH9HxmTGA9O
8964 copyright protection180PENANABTCYkYQG6R 維尼
在我提出問題後,雲晴同學快速的從對面跑了過來,坐在了我旁邊..我們的手臂貼在了一起8964 copyright protection180PENANAPDDLTbBbbG 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAwa2gtbDy9t
8964 copyright protection180PENANAYlFUNioNQW 維尼
好..好近....而且好柔軟….這實在是有點不妙..心臟跳個不停…..8964 copyright protection180PENANAPgkTFkpKHj 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAeTmPP2KP2M
8964 copyright protection180PENANAPvn425m3ar 維尼
雲晴同學身上的味道不斷的朝我的鼻子大量過來。8964 copyright protection180PENANAGb7LjOYvac 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAsitFepvuWQ
8964 copyright protection180PENANA6Kfazy05m8 維尼
讓我不禁下意識的往旁邊移了一下...8964 copyright protection180PENANAfNB8HTj4bp 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAtabq27MnIm
8964 copyright protection180PENANAbDdmFTk07g 維尼
「阿謝謝!」8964 copyright protection180PENANAN71zgzTL8v 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAOcsV8lFJ7w
8964 copyright protection180PENANArrdrJzJuSy 維尼
不不不為什麼妳也跟著移過來了呢!8964 copyright protection180PENANADlChseHGHS 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAK97JtMozA2
8964 copyright protection180PENANAPjU6fSLaz1 維尼
雲晴同學貌似以為我是怕她無法看清電腦螢幕才坐過去,反而又往我這裏靠了過來..手臂反而貼得更緊..8964 copyright protection180PENANA2xKqbtysgw 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAinyMBBTFXJ
8964 copyright protection180PENANAwzoaGaAc6W 維尼
這女孩也太無意識了吧..8964 copyright protection180PENANACbZ80Awov2 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAorHGxxrJjD
8964 copyright protection180PENANAM3y7icaSBf 維尼
話說為甚麼女孩子的身體只要一碰到就會有香味出來啊!難道是天然的香水嗎!8964 copyright protection180PENANAhIlDcsHYdc 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANA2MJVrnIffV
8964 copyright protection180PENANA9VzYB3WPW1 維尼
「阿!真的欸…這裡一整個句子出現了好多並且跟然而….」8964 copyright protection180PENANANS5T9vhHIw 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAeTq80afKYP
8964 copyright protection180PENANAgu3lfX5NDD 維尼
「咳...沒錯像這樣雖然有些人會覺得可能是因為新人寫的所以才會勉強接受,但如果一直都沒改掉的話就會讓人感到不耐煩」8964 copyright protection180PENANAVG2ZyGVZai 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAym4OR7kVZD
8964 copyright protection180PENANAgjTAaA2HSr 維尼
我假裝咳嗽一下,讓心情給恢復過來並繼續解釋,幸好雲晴同學沒發現我的異狀。8964 copyright protection180PENANAWnKakdTKh3 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANADt8o3E0iSX
8964 copyright protection180PENANAy7QvE6TrSy 維尼
「原...原來如此」8964 copyright protection180PENANAw0QWLujRUj 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAMAP45oGL2b
8964 copyright protection180PENANAXMRWIqwQFy 維尼
「是的..其實有時候適當的去掉這些字或是改成其他詞會更容易讓人讀下去」8964 copyright protection180PENANAJtGghMRV08 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANA7fFAXu9QfD
8964 copyright protection180PENANA8e4Qaw5gmz 維尼
「我..我知道了..來試看看吧」8964 copyright protection180PENANAvN2r0Kwjcx 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAteDieaCfoc
8964 copyright protection180PENANA9igIXMDTi1 維尼
「阿等等還有一個地方」8964 copyright protection180PENANAtCCHdalKlw 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAZBkEgmRap4
8964 copyright protection180PENANAwLL18gBVxr 維尼
「嗯?」8964 copyright protection180PENANALYtyUglm1V 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAIVh0Z9OTpj
8964 copyright protection180PENANAQiY12mFpaD 維尼
「就是標點符號喔」8964 copyright protection180PENANAyEgHWUmOYx 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAX3McUvug5d
8964 copyright protection180PENANArvyKV0wW27 維尼
「標點符號?可是我都有標阿…」8964 copyright protection180PENANAvS4RmBNNs9 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANARns1mN88hQ
8964 copyright protection180PENANAHSMkGXhWzo 維尼
「是有標沒錯,但標點符號就等於一個中繼點,讓人暫停休息的感覺,同時也代表了那句話的表達方式」8964 copyright protection180PENANAVlDE8Ym8cs 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANA88BfN1634Z
8964 copyright protection180PENANA8k2XUSGdwT 維尼
「表達方式….」8964 copyright protection180PENANAt9ZYZhCs64 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAV4j95KDagF
8964 copyright protection180PENANABDCicxbjBx 維尼
「沒錯..雲晴同學與其說是表達方式不如說是標太少了,讓人無法休息反應過來,尤其是雲晴同學又是寫熱血戰鬥的小說」8964 copyright protection180PENANA0QeXzEEZb4 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAatJ8pk403n
8964 copyright protection180PENANAwGVoVp97Tz 維尼
「讓人無法適應嗎?」8964 copyright protection180PENANAKSGj51eRY1 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANALRzLEJ1vUU
8964 copyright protection180PENANAYPRpQkryHO 維尼
「對喔,通常戰鬥小說在形容戰鬥的時候會用大量的句子去解釋當時情況,但如果妳四行字只用2個表點符號去描寫的話,就有可能讓人忘記前面在幹嘛」8964 copyright protection180PENANAWzpjFs7vOQ 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAaFfZ7VMz7Z
8964 copyright protection180PENANAYDvAcq5B4T 維尼
「原..原來如此」8964 copyright protection180PENANAxeyzwwTbBU 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAQNPDVXAA6Z
8964 copyright protection180PENANAZNnprSk3aU 維尼
「斷句就是讓大家暫時理解前面的話題,吸收之後再繼續閱讀,不然的話直接Enter換一行寫也可以,但有時候會熱血起來就會一直寫就是了,所以標點符號很重要」8964 copyright protection180PENANAinU6zVn8N2 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANA1MHQaQijbk
8964 copyright protection180PENANAh2oyuL2S1A 維尼
「我知道了!那現在就來試改看看吧!」8964 copyright protection180PENANAa8t5zNNVBL 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAfCsZlrRfDi
8964 copyright protection180PENANAitHcPbu9ix 維尼
雲晴同學在聽完我的話後,重新打起了字聽從我的意見適當講一下詞語給刪除或是進行更換。8964 copyright protection180PENANAFIt2x3rPpP 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAxrXZrIfa4X
8964 copyright protection180PENANAZdGBCEjUt5 維尼
順便將標點符號給進行整理。8964 copyright protection180PENANALWYXMKs0mn 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAnJn5rasb4v
8964 copyright protection180PENANAKzuGRvsx4z 維尼
雲晴同學認真的注視著電腦螢幕,那專注的樣子,讓我的視線忍不住的飄向了她的側臉..8964 copyright protection180PENANAJdFAYJ8PRs 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAUAeiwvbLhQ
8964 copyright protection180PENANAHoFqwU5Q8Y 維尼
果然好美......8964 copyright protection180PENANAbv6NAH5SON 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANApfMnZGLV7a
8964 copyright protection180PENANASAFWnTu9Jx 維尼
我再次為雲晴同學的長相感到驚嘆,不管看幾次都能讓人如此的入迷。8964 copyright protection180PENANA3QB3VEmP9F 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAm1VcJTKdHt
8964 copyright protection180PENANArtowyuraW8 維尼
就像之前想的,雖然不會帶進戀愛感情在裡面,就只是單純的像看到美麗的風景停下來欣賞一般。8964 copyright protection180PENANAmYjK6OcYJP 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAvTlLmqRG1h
8964 copyright protection180PENANA1v7jBq6F62 維尼
細長的睫毛,光滑的皮膚,苗條均勻的身材要說是上天用盡全力所打造的藝術品也不為過。8964 copyright protection180PENANANiNV18fWZZ 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANA4rP7L64BwV
8964 copyright protection180PENANAv7F0aAjdOo 維尼
讓人感到訝異可愛的地方就是她喜歡衣服上的涅噗醬這個興趣,剛剛查了一下涅噗醬好像是某部動畫的吉祥物之類的。8964 copyright protection180PENANA8ySxYPvLOe 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAwiOHR3WSOJ
8964 copyright protection180PENANALU0emdxMPk 維尼
回到話題,如果學校是社會縮影的話,雲晴同學一定是處在頂端的人。8964 copyright protection180PENANAkWsEg4J9NK 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAEhl4l6pTly
8964 copyright protection180PENANAmLNlK1Tr11 維尼
不管是在社交方面還是面容都是頂級的水準。8964 copyright protection180PENANAFUFJ1A3Mg7 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAIxZwplnDCu
8964 copyright protection180PENANAzFmViCzEfT 維尼
而這樣的她竟然就坐在我的旁邊.....8964 copyright protection180PENANAMoSFaiUGlb 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAsjelCxV41T
8964 copyright protection180PENANA8RdVmH5Ufu 維尼
有著輕小說家...這個夢想並持續在努力著..就算受到了打擊也依然持續著的創作….8964 copyright protection180PENANA3MJsXF5hBZ 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAjXHrc5eL6E
8964 copyright protection180PENANA9v9GjCeiWT 維尼
對曾經逃跑的我來說....極為嘲諷…...這存在的本身就像是在嘲笑我一樣……但對我來說又像是動力…8964 copyright protection180PENANAT1HfqW9TBl 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAgFImUw9QG3
8964 copyright protection180PENANAF27EuresQY 維尼
從那一天起我沉寂已久的某種開關又再次開啟,只是缺乏一個操舵手讓它啟動………8964 copyright protection180PENANAo15kfFpmpe 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANA59FJGD7N6Q
8964 copyright protection180PENANA6zvzjNBAqx 維尼
「月鴻同學怎麼了嗎?有那裡出問題嗎?」8964 copyright protection180PENANAM9OS25od1S 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAgznVd6egtz
8964 copyright protection180PENANAKFc4S5rNAp 維尼
雲晴同學貌似偷偷的注意到我的視線在她身上,以為是小說那裡有問題。8964 copyright protection180PENANAZFK5gXEi75 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAE2swUtDDgg
8964 copyright protection180PENANAbVXfjFEqV3 維尼
「不....只是覺得..雲晴同學果然很漂亮啊….」8964 copyright protection180PENANAGZ8TQTYWaL 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAG4m2fUjU95
8964 copyright protection180PENANAo8VlSeUgjj 維尼
毫無意識..我將心裡想的話給講出來,那保持熱忱又不斷的在向夢想前進的樣子....真的讓我覺得非常的耀眼..8964 copyright protection180PENANAv6flGiCLfD 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANA9ABHH9aGwM
8964 copyright protection180PENANAEsaSxW9lQn 維尼
「什......你你你你在突然說什麼阿!」8964 copyright protection180PENANAgcFYLMdC2i 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAw8eUD3E0rC
8964 copyright protection180PENANARBSGAFN18S 維尼
「不.....沒事抱歉..」8964 copyright protection180PENANAhkM1fFAsp0 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAm5q3ypqGDt
8964 copyright protection180PENANA9V8ZVP0Gyk 維尼
雲晴同學在聽了我的話後,臉就像是番茄紅了起來,想必被我這樣當面講她感到十分害羞吧..8964 copyright protection180PENANAEu0pzviLXe 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANACR6EVi5BVR
8964 copyright protection180PENANAZxqLqWbUX1 維尼
要是平常的我一定也會焦急的跟她道歉......8964 copyright protection180PENANAT6UZJSskrK 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANA8L9irzI0dM
8964 copyright protection180PENANAUcqwlqAhaG 維尼
不過我只是搖了搖頭,簡單的跟害羞的她說聲抱歉而已。8964 copyright protection180PENANAngPL5fGTWv 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANA97xyslmAf7
8964 copyright protection180PENANAINotFiB4jM 維尼
無法說出口…..8964 copyright protection180PENANAv46hM3fTeg 維尼
184Please respect copyright.PENANAHEHfTovOaJ
8964 copyright protection180PENANAb1c50oevya 維尼
現在我心裡都是滿滿的對於我自己羞愧...8964 copyright protection180PENANALohMtMIRis 維尼
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