同一時間,一艘從帝國出發前往澄冥汗國的船尚未到達目的地。這艘船的乘客之一──單心雪在房間內回想起過去。179Please respect copyright.PENANAz9ODFg8C3W
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她很怕孤獨,雖然很想克服,但總是忍不住尋找能依靠的人。179Please respect copyright.PENANA1HlPuCot7T
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說白了,她不清楚自己想要甚麼。明明躺在床上,她依然很累。很累,就像在無限期追求一樣連存不存在也不清楚的事物。她在獨自旅行的這段期間遇過很多人,縱使也許不會再見,他們都在她心裏留下了印記。179Please respect copyright.PENANAIELAQlDyDV
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然而,這些印記填不滿心的缺口。179Please respect copyright.PENANAUYIinJUe0X
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她想要甚麼?逝去了又追不回來的事──人。179Please respect copyright.PENANAlQyfI5KXlg
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「啊......」躺在床上也感覺疲勞沒有散去的她,決定到甲板上看風景。179Please respect copyright.PENANAXFMLui8Ad4
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甲板上的船員見到她都向她打招呼。不是因為她本身受他們尊敬,而是她跟著的那個人受他們尊敬。說得殘酷一點,她只是他戴在手上的一條金鏈。179Please respect copyright.PENANAucog1oSuZO
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她倚在船邊,海風拂過,帶她的思緒一同飄往遠方。179Please respect copyright.PENANAkT5ASTrpGw
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梅陀姨姨。179Please respect copyright.PENANAEuJk7wcv0j
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如果沒有姨姨,她也許還在孤兒院裏生活。大概十年前左右,一個叫梅陀的人來到孤兒院說要收養小孩。聽到有人來收養,幾乎所有小孩都爭先恐後地圍住梅陀。179Please respect copyright.PENANAhiJvmTARUu
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梅陀表面很親切,心雪卻有種她在故意隱瞞甚麼的感覺。經常被欺負的她就算說不上很會看他人臉色,也猜得到別人的心情。179Please respect copyright.PENANAQJkAUIE7oe
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心雪認定梅陀不是自己理想中的母親,便獨自躲在一角。179Please respect copyright.PENANAHsMekmU7Vk
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梅陀留意到不合群的心雪,故意上前和她說話。心雪想激怒梅陀,不想她打擾自己,一來便說了句「我討厭妳」。179Please respect copyright.PENANAzQoRU8Cllt
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梅陀露出心雪不理解的表情,深呼吸一口,問:「妳真的討厭我嗎?」179Please respect copyright.PENANAdtEhuOmWP8
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討厭......心雪不明白梅陀問問題的理由,討厭一個人需要理由嗎?說討厭就是討厭,為甚麼要明知故問。179Please respect copyright.PENANA1pdIeli2qn
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「妳是壞人。」心雪臉上掛著厭惡的表情,別過頭說。179Please respect copyright.PENANAQW7CA37cLV
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「為甚麼覺得我是壞人?我有做壞事嗎?」梅陀追問。179Please respect copyright.PENANAXE8eWOkUr8
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心雪自以為看穿了梅陀,梅陀也自以為看穿了心雪。事實上,兩人都沒有看穿對方內心最深處。179Please respect copyright.PENANAyfsZoUjlD5
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梅陀此行確實是要收養小孩,但還有另一目的。她很怕心雪會當著眾人面前說出另一個目的。不過多麼敏感的孩子,也看不到別人的罪疚感。179Please respect copyright.PENANAQUljP4kin0
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要是心雪說得出來,她的偽善就曝光了。179Please respect copyright.PENANAwWiqfsg4k7
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「我不喜歡妳。」心雪重申,期望梅陀能趕快放過她。179Please respect copyright.PENANAECO5YWJ7ou
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「為甚麼不喜歡我?」179Please respect copyright.PENANAO6DCsE5z2k
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「不要煩我!」179Please respect copyright.PENANAFnhLvMD8WM
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心雪氣沖沖地跑回房間,鎖上門不讓任何人進來。179Please respect copyright.PENANAZxE9Q9jq2H
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「對不起,這個小孩性格比較乖僻。」在梅陀旁邊的院長解釋,想平息梅陀的怒火。179Please respect copyright.PENANAp8GGylCgGo
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沒有生氣的梅陀問:「可以給她的資料我看嗎?麻煩了。」179Please respect copyright.PENANAWqR5oZbIdT
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院長不明白這位說話有口音的女士為何要自討苦吃,但還是按她的要求辦事:「好,請跟我來。」179Please respect copyright.PENANAP9JzPYKChI
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「姐姐!不要管心雪那個怪胎啦!帶我走!」孩子羣裏,一個比較大的男孩拉著梅陀衣袖。179Please respect copyright.PENANARFwKAAM0GW
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梅陀笑著跟他說:「姐姐還有些事要做,所以......」她不敢拉開男孩的手,所以只能不斷向院長打眼色求救。179Please respect copyright.PENANADSBNV4PbO3
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院長瞄到梅陀的眼色,粗魯地罵男孩:「文鋒,還不快點放手?」179Please respect copyright.PENANAYgfhQqLTWG
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「是......」男孩垂頭喪氣。179Please respect copyright.PENANAvCnY1lhuHV
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「好了,你們也回去玩吧,我和這位姐姐有事要做。」179Please respect copyright.PENANAbHMWjQxL7S
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院長說完,小孩們都邊說著話邊回去遊樂室。梅陀不太聽到他們在說甚麼,但大概是在抱怨還沒有人來收養他們。179Please respect copyright.PENANAx6nCsBw5ms
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這些事都是梅陀後來跟心雪說的,心雪起初不知情。179Please respect copyright.PENANAUtbotrYulF
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院長和梅陀來到院長室,院長從書櫃拿了一本書出來。書原本是空白的,每當有一位孩子入住,院長便在新一頁寫下他的資料作紀錄之用。179Please respect copyright.PENANARfhBjB0VSX
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院長翻到心雪的那一頁給梅陀看,說:「這是剛才那位孩子的資料。」179Please respect copyright.PENANAjn4GKeS6lO
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名字、出生日期、年齡、性別、何時住進孤兒院、大致性格、喜歡的食物和住院前的經歷等等,兩頁內寫了心雪的基本資料。179Please respect copyright.PENANATODsWMS0XC
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梅陀看完,考慮一番後問:「她在這裏經常被欺負嗎?」179Please respect copyright.PENANAY4JayGw9of
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「是。」院長點頭,「我們有嘗試過叫孩子們和平相處,但心雪本來就不太合羣,又有些孩子比較調皮。我們說教完之後最近已經沒有欺凌事件發生,只是心雪依然不願和其他孩子一起玩。」179Please respect copyright.PENANAkFofKftpRL
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「性格已經定型了呢。」梅陀像是很有經驗地說,微微嚇了院長一跳。179Please respect copyright.PENANAO031XWcSyD
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梅陀留意到院長的表情,「抱歉,以前工作的時候要分析人的個性,所以不經意說了出口。」179Please respect copyright.PENANAX2zllSQL5Y
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「不要緊。」院長也認為不是大問題,「梅陀女士還有事想問嗎?」179Please respect copyright.PENANAvJlnQ6GS3j
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「我可以收養她嗎?」179Please respect copyright.PENANAyJ676IIa2Y
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「她不太喜歡您,我恐怕強行讓您收養她,對您和她都不好。」179Please respect copyright.PENANAH40ak41of9
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梅陀想起自己早前才做過的事,她是為了做對事而做錯事,背負丁點罪惡感對她不是問題。本來早已捨棄罪惡感的她要拾回它,那怕只有一點點也覺得很重。179Please respect copyright.PENANAYlyMz1cwO3
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自認不是問題又覺得負擔很重,她知道這種心態很矛盾。但要說矛盾,過去的她更加矛盾。在人面前是一個樣子,工作時是另一個樣子,在某個人面前是第三個樣子,對著自己是第四個樣子,她以前也能隨意在四款樣子之間自由切換,說服一個小女孩跟她走對現在的她不會是難題。179Please respect copyright.PENANA8bBvAydHTC
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她低頭再看心雪的資料一次,有了計策。179Please respect copyright.PENANACimjbYUp95
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「咯咯咯......」梅陀在心雪的房間外敲門,手上拿著一盤食物和勺子,「心雪?我是剛才的姐姐喔!我煮了妳最喜歡吃的辣豆腐,想吃嗎?」179Please respect copyright.PENANAALaEK2Px63
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梅陀在質疑自己。她知道心雪的秘密,卻不能告訴自己的秘密給她聽,這對心雪不公平。行家會說「沒有說不是騙」,但梅陀明白這跟欺騙沒分別。179Please respect copyright.PENANAkChdOxQVDG
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「辣豆腐?」房間內的心雪好像有點興趣。179Please respect copyright.PENANA1Jw6B6WVbc
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「是啊。姐姐親手煮的,想吃嗎?」179Please respect copyright.PENANA6ijrEbHzZb
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心雪沒有回答,數秒後,她解開門鎖開門。179Please respect copyright.PENANAd6FDgnx5wp
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「進來。」心雪抬頭跟梅陀說。179Please respect copyright.PENANAQGzbSB8LlF
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心雪的房間很整潔,一點灰塵也看不見。房間內只有一張床、書桌椅和幾件玩具,梅陀心想這也許是孤兒院的標準配置。179Please respect copyright.PENANA1DoVBTfgSX
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心雪關門後告訴進門的梅陀:「放在書桌上。」179Please respect copyright.PENANA2PBrieJff5
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梅陀放下盤子問:「我可以坐在椅子上嗎?」179Please respect copyright.PENANA9GUGbkMG1x
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雖說如此,這張椅子對梅陀來說有點小。179Please respect copyright.PENANA2BEDCKtzG9
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「可以。」心雪坐在床上。179Please respect copyright.PENANAkGXmKasra8
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梅陀看穿心雪對她仍有戒心,拿起盤子和勺子遞給她,「吃吧,小心熱。」179Please respect copyright.PENANAuQJcQtmDI5
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「嗯。」心雪接過盤子,用膝蓋當毯子吃豆腐。179Please respect copyright.PENANAcS2pe7escf
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心雪吃得很慢,梅陀利用這段時間思考要如何「馴服」她。179Please respect copyright.PENANAcfmERtNPrv
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梅陀自覺很壞,但為了滿足贖罪的感覺,不得不這樣做。難得能離開那個世界,她想捨棄過去。179Please respect copyright.PENANA1HNFQVLswn
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不管以前的她是甚麼人都與她無關。179Please respect copyright.PENANA25xcjH4vlU
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「謝謝。」心雪吃完,遞盤子和勺子給梅陀。179Please respect copyright.PENANAI48nHHaDd3
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梅陀放好兩樣東西後拿出手帕說:「嘴邊有點髒。」179Please respect copyright.PENANAPLKxeKkCdY
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她幫心雪抹乾淨嘴,放下少許戒心的心雪問她:「為甚麼要對我這麼好呢?」179Please respect copyright.PENANARuOusG2bpD
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「哈哈!」梅陀發自內心地笑:「這很平常啊,怎會是對妳很好呢?」179Please respect copyright.PENANAhgTsETAdsD
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「從來沒人對我那麼好。」心雪低頭看著木造地板。179Please respect copyright.PENANAaUmhhwnzis
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孤獨的小孩。179Please respect copyright.PENANAQyRnwHQMbk
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梅陀對付過這種對象很多次,要討好他們,給他們想要的就好了。179Please respect copyright.PENANAFApAEE5c3r
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咳咳,又犯毛病了。179Please respect copyright.PENANAcqEo1jhBuF
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梅陀用手托起心雪的下巴,看著她的雙眼說:「妳不孤單,我會陪妳。」179Please respect copyright.PENANAcu61vhnJXJ
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對小孩說這句話或許太過肉麻,但梅陀正是知道「太過」肉麻的話對小孩更有用。成熟一點的青少年甚至大人會感到抗拒,不過小孩子會被打動。179Please respect copyright.PENANAvqWtrhq82A
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心雪不知該作何反應,目瞪口呆。179Please respect copyright.PENANAFfb8O2NRKS
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想起來,她當時便是被梅陀這句話感動到而選擇跟梅陀走。跟梅陀走或者等下一個願意收養她的人,當時的她只有這兩個選擇。179Please respect copyright.PENANAgI7sBXyDsQ
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她很感謝梅陀,梅陀教曉她許多戰鬥技巧,讓她即使被人搔擾也不害怕,又教她煮飯以及許多生活技能,當初跟梅陀走真的太好了。179Please respect copyright.PENANAmKdtCCcotJ
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如今,她在這艘船上遇到值得追隨的人,她能為他做些甚麼嗎?她不懂他的一切,即使如此,有她能為他做的事嗎?她的力量很少,不過起碼能成為他的心靈支柱。梅陀跟她說過,每個人都不孤單。縱使是那個戴上面具的「他」也不孤單。她要證明給他看,「他」不孤單。179Please respect copyright.PENANAWq9OuYDmVf