Laying on my bed while staring at my plain white ceiling, tears streamed down my cheeks as a soft sob broke out through my throat.
I felt filthy and disgusted with myself. I couldn't even tell it to anyone because I felt so ashamed and angry.
Holding a pillow to my mouth, I screamed into it till there wasn't a sound coming out anymore, more tears streamed down my face soaking my pillow ,but I didn't care.
I choked on my sobs as I kept thinking through that night.
I wish I never went out that night. I wish they had told me to stay back I wish I wasn't given that invitation. It changed my life for the worst.
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'Waking up suddenly, I immediately winced before shielding my eyes from the light which was left on.
Getting my phone from the desk beside my bed , I checked the time 1:34am. Gosh I'm so hungry. Getting up sharply , I stopped, grabbing the desk as soon as the ground swayed beneath my feet. Stupid head rush .330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MxLILbFMz
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Getting back in balance , I walked towards the door but stopped again as soon as black dots spotted my vision. That was not head rush I realized placing my head on the door.
Sighing I moved towards the bathroom sink. Splashing handfuls of water on my face I turned it off raising my head to stare at my reflection. I realized I didn't only look tired, I was tired and weak and drained.
Going down the stairs stealthily, I made my way for the fridge. The orange light from it immediately illuminated my face. Grabbing few slices of bread, I placed them in a plate before making my way to boil a little water for hot cocoa.
Clearing up when I was done with eating I heard someone coughing from the living room. Gently placing the plate down , I tiptoed toward that direction. Getting there, I peeped .330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWo0U5h0lnB
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A figure was sitting unmoving with their back to me on the long couch that face the TV. The light from the small passage wasn't bright enough for me to see who it was so I squinted. 330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuVnGCaAWt
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'Kay?' 330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbASSWxzHz
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'Kamara' he called out without moving an inch.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJv8vwBbqlg
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'How did you know I was the one?' I asked moving into the room.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQNp4oOfqQ
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'Not only do I know your voice, I knew you were in the kitchen cause I've been here'. He said still staring straight ahead.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQT3oTg8Rk1
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Getting to his side I stopped.
'Seriously, you know how creepy that sounds? . You could have let me know you were here' I told him.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVewVg1b8bn
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' I didn't want you to go back without eating' he said.
Sighing quietly I told him ' I'm not hiding from you Kay'.
'I know but you sure are hiding from what we've been asking you'. I heard you, you know, your cry'. He told me.
'What are you doing here alone by this time?' I asked totally ignoring what he said to which thankfully he didn't push.
' I'm worried about you' he told me finally turning to look at me. I couldn't see him so well. But I saw the look of concern on his face.
' There's nothing to be worried about' I said making my way to sit beside beside him at the other end of the chair.
' There's everything to be worried about Kamara, everything seems wrong'.
' Then I'm telling you not to worry. What happened yesterday, I was just tired and angry about what mom and dad have been doing' I said.
' You've never complained before' he pointed out.
'Like I said yesterday, I've never said anything doesn't mean I like it. It's called enduring'.
' That's not the only reason Kammy. Why do I feel like you would still have endured it just fine. I feel you breaking yesterday is as a result of something else that has happened.
Something else you are refusing to tell us all' he cried out quietly.
I wanted to tell him he caused this all, but I couldn't so I simply replied with ' I am fine' In a firm tone.
' Look at you Kammy' he said gesturing towards my body. ' You look frail .We care about you , let us help you'. 330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZ8Llw5uP5
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You had the opportunity to that night. I thought to myself. I've realized I'm the only one who could take the first step of helping me which is by speaking up.
Getting up, I turned to face him. 330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGr5j5S9cpy
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' I'm fine , believe me and even if I'm not, I'll be' I told him with a faint smile.
'Kam—
' Get some sleep' I said before making my way back to my room. I knew I wasn't going to be fine anytime soon. But I knew I had to stop the questions been asked but I didn't know how.
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'I don't know what came over you yesterday Kamara, but never try that again'. My dad told me. Sitting down on the table for breakfast with everyone wasn't ideal to me anymore. I preferred just eating alone ,why? Because things I don't want to hear are always discussed. 330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvxzucDfRM
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'Did you hear me?'330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wTtgrtyxg
I looked at him from where he sat directly opposite me. 'Where are you dad?' I asked quietly.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWCFDYxVs5
'What do you mean?' he asked , confusion written all over his face same as everyone else at the table.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0caSKKeyQJ
'Where is the dad I used to know when I was 17. Why are you doing this why?!' I yelled suddenly.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDB9ZdFN7T
' I have my reasons Kamara, you are old enough already to get married' He said.
'And so is Kaima dad'. I pointed out.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4U6dWpEIZV
'Hey!' I heard her say.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw50dylp1u5
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' To you we are old enough, but dad I'm just 20, I have a lot to live before diving into a marriage that is forced'.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQomMRwKrm4
'You don't tell me what to do' he said firmly.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36ndqJgfeO
' You have no reason to do this dad, mom?' .I called out turning to face her ' You don't even say anything anymore, you always agree with everything he has to say, you know it's wrong and I know it, so why don't you say something.' I pleaded.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvY88fUCXME
' You don't know what we are doing for you Kamara you should be grateful' She said.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasWDF4ASCI
' Ever since I turned 18 , you all have never done anything for my good. Everything you did for me was always to your benefit in the tiniest way because you all wanted the perfect daughter. You never bothered Kaima, you never bothered Kay. So why me?'330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57M1TM6Ehv
' Because everything is falling apart Kamara, my company, everything' he said trying to reason with me.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8izK356Bn
'And how does that concern me?' I asked not getting it.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMHVM7vjQj
' It concerns you because if you marry Dave, part of his father's company would be you father's. It's a win win stuff' my mom answered.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lhZXecqe0
'So I'm supposed to be collateral? Your own daughter! Does that even sound right to you?!' I yelled in disbelief.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHBdNDAEpk
' That's not what it means. You'll get it better with time, I'm surprised your brother didn't tell you seeing how close you two are' I heard my dad say but something else was running through my head.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlaqvnKpV2
'What? tell me?'. I snapped my head towards Kay's direction . ' You knew?'330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgEnSjXimp
' Look Kammy—330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnFVzj73mM
' Don't you dare call my name.' I replied hardly, cutting him off . 330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bC3Srs5bY
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'Wow, like wow' I said laughing humorlessly. ' You mean to tell me, that you come up to me asking me if I'm okay, saying you are worried about me when you are just part of the reasons I'm in this mess?!' I yelled in frustration pushing my chair back to get up.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88LnfZW9Jy
' I didn't mean to' .
'Oh spare me that nonsense of a lie bro' I said slamming my palm on the table.
'Kamara sit down' I heard my dad warn. Ignoring him I continued to stare at my brother.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOJiNWOZSZ
' I can't believe this, I just noticed that you are always in a position to help, but you never do.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRs52eiQQt6
' Who's going to fail me next ?' I asked no one in particular fixing my gaze on Kaima.330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UVSBzqIl0
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