我是季妍，出版界筆耕多年的小小插畫家一枚。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWir1XaQb6
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8uMZl9XoL
我熱愛我的工作，作畫迅速從不拖稿的我，筆耕之餘還在家裡開了繪畫教室騙騙小朋友，幾年下來，事業小成的我有了幾個足以讓我膨脹的稱號---出版界稱我“季快手”，學生叫我季老師…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ssrq0D7Zb
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMD72zQIGz9
但，這些，都不及我另一個稱號來得“響亮”。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMe0UywHRhv
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzyq1zPBVx
這個稱號是婆婆取的，她叫我~~“無~蛋~雞”~~~442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQK7AMkN1UJ
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0rsLjm66o
是的，你沒聽錯，因為在她眼中，我就是隻生不出蛋的老母雞。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlj7k73lei
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrTGpO23qL
也許是怕我日子太無聊了吧，老天爺給了我一個全世界最棒的老公，卻又買一送一的附贈了個機車婆婆，結婚三年來，生不出半顆蛋的我早已被她嫌到十八層地獄，偏偏她老人家想盡辦法就是無法把我從“楊昕然老婆”的位置踢下來，因為她兒子超疼老婆…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBjadKBNUh
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ur2G8uEHm
呵~~~你看她煩不煩哪！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNfSbEphlN
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyOYIAB7VT
媳婦的肚子沒動靜，兒子又越來越“老”（明明才32歲），眼看楊家就要斷子絕孫了，婆婆的焦慮越來越嚴重，於是她開始檢討我敷不出蛋的可能原因……442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIq9mkuddlq
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHJ2WNQuHG
吃冰、吹冷氣……好，我改。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSqviZkC4X
熬夜……對，我的錯。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhOiXcek5U
使用便宜水彩顏料……便宜？一盒幾千442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAixeJGSJe
的“林布蘭特”？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEicEssDjuj
呼吸的空氣有毒……好吧，我可以不呼442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8qyVJIn8J
吸了……442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcR41fVEX9k
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVgi7jZ5gP
總而言之，親愛的婆婆把所有生不出孩子的原因都歸到我身上，偏偏怪東怪西就是不怪她兒子…有一次她親愛的兒子終於看不下去了…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2WCLiFi6D
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVtOiigYaq
「搞不好是我的精子有問題啊」，楊昕然先生說。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MTLJ7K5ct
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiW7upDEyh9
「胡說，我們楊家的精子怎麼會有問題」，婆婆嚴厲否認。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScKUJpH22k
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaattt6JTI
噢，對了，說到精子，我老公是窩在手機堆裡寫APP程式的程式設計師。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhXc9H6KBc
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoXqkQwr9C
所以他的精子“絕對”沒問題。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5qKp0JF0W
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5V1Rll2mo
唉~寶貝兒子沒有錯，生不出蛋的媳婦趕不走，婆婆的日子簡直沒法過了。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8DvV0Q4so
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwg9Qn8XPo
怎麼辦？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOcn0SQ680
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMWUDVjQ8q
能怎麼辦？…只好叫媳婦多多“努力”囉！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneE7TFq2Hl
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡife3s5PqFo
於是，親愛的婆婆天天督促我，天天督促我，電台賣的成藥我當飯吃、全臺灣的乩童都成了婆婆的FB好友，對婆婆來說，乩童的話就是聖旨，乩童叫我做什麼我都得照做……為此我吞了香灰、喝了符水、嚐遍了你想像不到的噁心東西…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhviVESq74y
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7nTDt7jzi
但，這麼“乖巧”的我，那天還是爆發了…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBPnViBbCd
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCCwpHF6BT
因為婆婆叫我去跪“她娘家”的祖先！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROqvSSUJQm
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnYhSNcNV1
「為什麼我得去跪妳媽的（ps:這不是髒話）祖先」？…我心頭一驚。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oVdAEW5FP
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaSFGmrYsx
「大師說妳祖先得罪我娘家祖先，所以祖先不要妳的種」，婆婆舒適的窩在客廳沙發上削著我剛買回來的西洋梨，「除非你向我娘家祖先下跪道歉，不然」…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCAxl4DyMK
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBc1aRsgL7k
「下跪道歉」？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0kGKslg3q
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIsgtub5aL
「沒錯」，婆婆繼續削梨子，「所以明天妳跟我回」…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1tToYYa5c
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7K7JNrFUm
「~！…、☆○＞□＾」…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQl5Fs74sU
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0jXfQLypN
不知是不是方才喝的水果啤酒太上頭了，明明早已對婆婆的刻薄言語“免疫”的我，竟然被區區幾句話惹火了，於是，當婆婆終於消滅了難纏的梨子皮，準備享受她的勞動成果…的前一秒，我突然伸手搶走她的梨子…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2i36AVzIRs
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Zv6bSD2Df
「接下來還有什麼」？我紅著眼問。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMoatoTO8PR
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SPBr9fcYG
「蛤」？這是我嫁入楊家以來第一次對婆婆發飆，可能是不習慣這樣的我吧，婆婆完全愣住了。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzlRky7UgZ
　　442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNObsvXD1Ga
「我說…接下來妳還要怎麼“玩”我」？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fQzQRn2pC
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7psJ6Kdjyx
「什麼“玩”妳」？婆婆盯著被我搶走的梨子，一臉的莫名，「我還不是為妳好」…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4XbbKQZc9
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpdmwUsr1I
「為我好」？我氣笑了，「原來逼我喝符水吃香灰吃到拉肚子是為我好」…我咬牙切齒的用梨子指著婆婆…的鼻子，「摸摸良心吧！如果今天安然生不出來妳會這樣對她嗎」？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15PltWX3IU
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oBR2LqsWb
PS:楊安然---昕然的妹妹，某私立大學夜間部學生，楊家的寶貝，也是婆婆絕不能踩的大地雷…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUsGAbJ8YS
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLPoFs5PWy
但此刻氣瘋的我竟然踩下去了！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkftIFNKe6
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvqrUy2Bd7
「妳…妳這隻無蛋雞」！婆婆果不其然的…炸了，她憤然站起，把我手中的梨子搶去狠砸在地，「妳敢詛咒我女兒跟妳一樣沒蛋！妳…妳給我滾出去」！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLqd4eCGKi
　　442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7Gj8b0WKr
「為什麼我要滾」？我叉腰繼續做死，「這裡是我家耶」！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFUN9uFPyk
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywb8HNyZ1S
是的，這間位於碧潭河畔三房一廳的小屋是我和老公浪漫的家，我的婆家“遠”在五十公尺外，但我忘了婆婆是老公最親愛的老媽，更忘了婆婆是個多麼愛演的老太太。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzzf2Ydgwc
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33Vewx1S9l
「妳…」…罵著罵著，婆婆竟然一屁股坐在地上嚎啕大哭起來~「嗚嗚~~我是造了什麼孽啊！年輕的時候為楊家做牛做馬，好不容易當了婆婆，還要被媳婦糟蹋」…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYYEncjqrR
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IeiSws24m
「媽」…唉…又來了…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsUTJz6dB9
　　442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDiF0tCMJF
我無奈的揉揉眉心，一邊讚嘆婆婆的“演技”，只是……這裡只有我和婆婆，她能演給誰看？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwaXoUgDg5
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEk7yjOF5p
咦…不對……442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOZTjOvrMp
　　442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjsk2D7dsf
我看了看電視上方的大圓鐘…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJxA82Wsi4
　　442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJT1UwjQzK
呵…果然…老公接安然放學快到家了。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoN2JYfcp6j
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PcDCr0q1p
「我的命怎麼這麼苦啊…嗚嗚嗚」…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQZgURPAp4
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREiek3eYfa
我無奈的看著眼前演得興起的婆婆，孝順的兒女快回來了，而苦命的母親還坐在地板上哭天搶地，可想而知，幾分鐘後這個家會有多“熱鬧”。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEL1UMhL0z
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOSo8OmUPl
「唉」…我忍不住歎氣…唉…又是這樣…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhen9QusqqS
　　442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazFhE2LkuW
我很清楚如何避免即將到來的衝突…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPOnu0P9t2
　　442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6TgISjYQV
不就是答應去跟“她媽的”祖先下跪道歉嗎？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZZi7WJPoa
　　442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUjB63LUsv
下跪，簡單，但接下來呢？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW25HMaJC9p
　　442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUZRgwT6Xx
只要我變不出孩子，婆婆永遠有新的花招等著我…442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQdZCI8S98
　　442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOCaqEX9AM
我已經陪婆婆玩兩年了，這樣的日子我還得熬多久？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRyzUnBJcU
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQZPxYuGPh
　　　　我 受 夠 了！！！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc03A6HQKD3
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZq8BwHIr7M
「妳慢慢哭吧」，婆婆的哭聲幾乎穿透了天際，但我已經不在乎了…在一片空白的思緒中，我恍惚的握住了大門門把…「我~~不幹了」！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAttu4FBtP7
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4ri9ZyoUc
“ 砰”！！~~的一聲…婆婆的哭嚎聲被留在了門後。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdF8pVOTvx1
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RPSNJFtsI
我走出門外，迎接我的是愁煞人的秋雨，十月的碧潭剛迎來入秋第一道寒流，冰冷的雨絲一根根扎入我毫無防護的雙臂，我知道我該回頭，但我無路可退。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIdB6fVsb2
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIJcYluZ3w
退不得，那就跑吧！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpilhA7U7ew
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VkNrSHaU0
於是我開始拼命奔跑、拼命奔跑……442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCCDgLNcys
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxnypbWkBU
萬萬想不到，這一跑，竟跑出了我的第一個孩子，還有那短暫卻一生難忘的姐妹情誼……442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBO7SXSjO47
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkaMOQ8J8l
這是一個很短、很短的故事，如果您允許的話，請容我用旁觀者的角度，向您娓娓道來吧。