249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7WgXvO2WO
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20UIYkAQV9
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後，我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin：「行得。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASANaid2h1
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskfhvAc2A2
「咁耐嘅？」他問。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdAnyKh0QF
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0q7i9MV3W
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說：「不如今日去掃街，肚餓想食啲嘢。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AF0x7dWWZ
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBcRKxoXJ5
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc62E0ZoxBn
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKO0yWLHNoY
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學，可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuhm87pkag
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAfDnXF9kj
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後，我的心便不再單純。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJQXYgL6S3
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQfU2cO8G1
我開始思考，難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺？到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡？249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyW88O6vzv
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm04q12w7sA
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSK5pOvYp1P
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlBnhMzRqg
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯，能夠和他去掃街真幸運。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJRTtwkGli
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesvHsxBAoG
人的想法很微妙，明明沒有事情發生過，我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街，只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8696CgkWx
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYf1gxAuYIi
想法塑造習慣，習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要，光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話，學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokbi4tQybi
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEASr2vPVF0
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎？生活過於苦悶無新意，對身邊本來平平無奇的東西，從無到有，誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片，內心一陣飄飄然。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVxiGIFPS8
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmPiGPYib9
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情，還伸手摸摸我的額頭：「你係咪唔舒服？塊面咁紅嘅？」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayjgTJcauL
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2oP3i8bsm
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水，嚇得狂咳。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrjTSt859o
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFDpDl54Al
Kelvin拍拍我的背：「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息？」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXH3JS4yIjK
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8L5bpkZLQ
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlo33aByV5I
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0scakfU0UC
「咁蠢嘅人都有，你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzxCXM9uUj
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iEf9vxdZd
我站在Kelvin旁，一邊吃撈麵，一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEeZhSvKi4
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0frJ3ZBtYt
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6B04JZ7fh2
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1eFUNNhyM
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛，會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎？249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF665xTkQdW
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPqhgIDVTv
如果會，戀愛似乎不錯。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi09RdTplmT
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwKeubD3HV
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿，韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoEyDRpLuG
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLNagae4wj
「係咩？我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂，對外國音樂不熟悉。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgs66WhJNIp
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0appmRyXH
「原來佢做龜公，開間酒吧做毒竇，仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段，好痴線。」Kelvin說。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsW4ATgWuW
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5V2y1s25NS
「咁癲？佢好似都幾紅。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWw7v8mqDP
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxRrkqnrI3
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvlGJLNLwU
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIUMrIlPQ6
「點解咁講？」我問。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTLTaEo6ux
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjskEiAdPJx
「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01FCgDHNlr
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6M8wtWI8Kp
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒，仲會唔會同佢做朋友？」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6B8Mwz3km9
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0jkQhyWFm
「唔會，我唔會接受。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlrLy5DBez
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6EGDwpphg
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢？」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxEb8uXAN1
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwUpq4Mmm1
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說：「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢，等佢唔好誤入歧途。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGghUmitMzy
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiHZy96ea9
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸，鼓勵他離開黑社會：「屋企人吸毒，唔係朋友本人吸毒，唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjYH97Esri
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxsQSPGywN
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債，以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他，沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGf6lbYbIJc
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwNcdzYTj5
「係好容易呀！如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草，你喺廳都會聞到啦，毒品喺你眼前，又會心郁郁想試。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJu2pwRoLIt
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsUGHXEQ4n
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩？」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ429beVXzPY
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lTO1UV4II
「阿婆行動不便，點可以相提並論！吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間！你話我歧視都係咁講，同賭錢一樣，無人拎住支槍迫佢，累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算，連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErSFaD2fdS
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUafO0nFOhC
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭，管東管西，而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Fg82sOwuh
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTCUsSQzwM
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者，也很討厭自己的家庭阿！可是家庭的影響一直都在，它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人，同樣避之則吉。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4ggZCc8Fl
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHD9dsND4Ha
我寧願沒有開口詢問，沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想，變得更自卑了。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpDsPrje58
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wrvvW9XJL
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固，他會隨時離棄我。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCzzPXi4UU
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4aMudcAnh
婚姻的承諾都能推翻，更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcQghGnFLq
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDrTLOlL5w
「點解人係群體動物？點解人要互相來往？」我喃喃自語：「係自私，係計算？兩個人，一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsV6yJm0ec
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBgeGAz4k3
「咁功利，一齊開心唔得咩？」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UySIy5lhc
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9QQG4Wt0u
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好，帶自己去認識朋友；可能係對方博學多才，學業上幫到自己；可能係自己孤單，想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始，互相需要，到咗某一日，唔再幫到大家，就自然分開。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaatiVdlT0
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUms8ZzEyN
我為未發生的事情擔憂。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrjuZkWVOx
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kNBVf5xEj
面對關係看得見的分岔，倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝，無力感擴散。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDuDWzQWFk
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkR1TpJHCEW
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感？」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpD41pkdxPY
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQu0ZwEMmu0
「無呀。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHzXt9ISU4
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhI7IFJQ6wP
「我知啦，思春期！中二病！」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFXZRYGoyU
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKwcUTNDrt
「唔知呀！你話係就係啦。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhjP6oxeaj
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9BxewLHN1
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqkM0gbSnV
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDkokzsSwQ
難過。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWJFoPun7s
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