「你還可以嗎？」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnzMphIRVj
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTyp2BpxLl
「無法不可以。」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsEdxbrYFj
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnA5IFqsj1
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qO4U1w3PD
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftwiA0lxUt
「謝謝你。」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3eSTkYsIn
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2k5ty3B28
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJKVmm4l04
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKnCCAUN3u
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkCdGE20Ge
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXFIxypQ48
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKEZHVBisD
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViM4pSYy1n
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFY4JScEwv
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGD0Xw1fIFd
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiw7eO25Y1T
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3e1EwLtFKz
「老婆……」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GYabR86Jl
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LqroQS6i9
「有困難？金錢？」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHjJ1eL2bW
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVAcpwQFUE
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN99nTAnZM7
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98KIiMCXqF
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYPTpKdbVH
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjYcfImDuz
「嗯。」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQUvo3oXyF
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxdGNrM1Ua
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzywFB9zbbQ
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglvqvl77D6
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpNIa6TBsP
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLc8oz0uwl
無能。無力。無奈。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ssjr8Tg7h
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrohbUxwld
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbOdfNCIhI
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dUyPS5cWj
剪不斷，理還亂。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14S86aNgHz
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSA3UPl0qDz
勿剪，別理。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qbpkn6gUE
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj6eBxmzzA
待時日將其化解。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2oiAX3mku
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNb1PcaHZo
莫操心。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhYuWrCABJ
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tBYPxiegG
莫操心？642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MZjhuxV3S
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Rw33bfdYj
如何莫操心？642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZRmX0SIwK
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa56KFVzNjd
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVM2fprxDo
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQGCZEovS2
撐多久？如何撐？642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7iA4gRzAA
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LdWGIHQjR
不知道……642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZ84V5Y5N2
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALhNlvkgWk
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTbgO3zQmU
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuPxw7LDAG
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu90rded3mp
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbzhIeGTR1
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0BEU50btw
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoTPCZQG2n
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlDxcnzau6
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9zGwi2p9W
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDJv05NRFR
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94uNSlrxej
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDAPq0b9Gl
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHrfyNnJfy
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ316mpFkP3X
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkWgZEDTcY
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBFhZm5Wy4
我笑。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZLlRtZrD3
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpX7cE2MTR
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJeE1hpyjr
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxt9NnERWF8
忽爾不想回家。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeibFkOE0Y8
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MgMveeZDa
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Lwn9JYHht
「好的。」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVD4rGF2bV7
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zb0SUNa0k
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJCnwEn2nR
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7ZESfDTcR
只會苦了自己。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiI9HoVBjA
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoogqmeSdf
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBmCZ9M1IQ
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo22uHjC6tG
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CRPeClKp6
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YQBn6lJRV
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLx8z5oc9x
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbbNEsEwHV
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBspTs0Afpi
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMl7f8XzNA
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxcCpAkxxz
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtoLM37Fw9
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQaZ8eYJyG
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgMFORzSuI
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2b2SPEgDNq
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4b92dlpxjz
一、二、三、四、五……642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYREbHce36
註：642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuadAYzvJxa
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEzD22GkYW
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDTy5iVicE
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuNA8znrNh
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwfWXxmySk
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoPhQYpjMc
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3Qg0TkiGx
642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BehWSpCom
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJhgDIielZ
