Weird
"Tita Martha..."
A sophisticated woman in white turned her head and darted her eyes to me. Bahagyang umuwang ang labi niya sa pagkabigla.
"Blaire?"
She scanned my body from head to toe before her eyes bore into mine.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaVyvX3wA5
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I smiled and closed the door.
She stood up and walked towards me. "No one told me that you came back! Walang nabanggit si Leira."
I welcomed her warm embrace and placed my cheeks near hers for a beso.
"I told her to keep mum."
"Sinundo ka ni Zuriel?" tanong niya nang pakawalan niya ako. I can't help but to notice her swollen eyes, halatang pagod at kulang sa tulog.
"He's kinda busy. Si Chelzie po sumundo sa 'kin, kaibigan ko."
Tumango siya. "I know her, madalas silang bumisita rito ng Kuya mo."
Kuya was Levi's friend too. Sila muna bago ako. I shouldn't be suprised na madalas silang bumisita rito. But considering their tight schedules, hindi ko pa rin maiwasang magulat. Kuya seemed so serious when he said that he'll look after Levi for me. He's hell-bent kasi na 'wag akong pauwiin. Sorry siya kasi hindi talaga ako mapapanatag sa gusto niyang mangyari. I can't just stay that far while knowing that my fiancee's dying.
"Have you taken a rest, tita? You look so tired. Don't you want to go home muna? Let me take care of him."
Mabigat ang hangin na pinakawalan niya bago ako tinalikuran. She went back to the seat where she was before I came.
"Hindi ko kayang iwan si Levi rito, Blaire. Kahit magsanib-pwersa pa kayong lahat para pauwiin ako, ayoko." She caressed his hair. "Gusto kong nandito ako kapag nagising siya. I should be the one to first notice his improvements. Hindi naman ako makakapagpahinga kung alam kong nag-aagaw buhay rito ang anak ko. Pa'no kung habang natutulog ako..." she trailed.
Umiling ako at kumuha ng monoblock chair. Nilagay ko 'yon sa kabilang gilid ng kama, kaharap ni tita.
"I understand the anxiety, Tita. Pero hindi naman po mangyayari 'yun. Malakas po si Levi. Tsaka kilala niyo naman po 'yang anak niyo. He's a man of his words. Kapag sinabi niyang pakakasalan niya ako, gagawin niya talaga. Hindi p'wede 'yang iniisip niyo."
Wala siyang sinabi. Nakatingin lang siya sa anak niya na hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko masulyapan. I want to ask her what exactly happened sa Barnes but I think she wasn't ready to recall it. Maybe I'll just ask one of his friends na kasama niya ro'n kahit pa hindi ko sigurado kung sino-sino sila. According to Chelzie, he's been hanging out with unknown creature. From family of politicians daw siguro. Hindi rin kasi kami gaanong nakakapag-usap ni Levi dahil sunod-sunod ang mga models na nirerecruit nitong nakaraan.
I breathed and finally looked at him. "Fine. I'll be with you, tita. Tutal ay pareho tayong ayaw magpapigil."
She smiled.
In between us was the unconscious Levi. Parang pinupunit ang puso ko habang nakatingin sa windpipe at rubber tube na nakakabit sa katawan niya. This is the first time I saw him this weak. Hindi ako sanay na ganito siya.
Bago ako umuwi rito, akala ko kaya ko na. Iba pa rin pala talaga kapag nakita mo na mismo ang kondisyon niya. Napakaraming machines ang nakakonekta sa katawan niya. The thought that his life is only depending on these machines provokes pain in my chest. This so much for a heartbreak.
"He's been waiting for you so long..." I looked up and darted my eyes to tita Martha. "Good thing you're finally back. I'm confident. He'll wake up any time soon. As much as I want us to be the reason for him to live, alam kong ikaw 'yun Blaire. I can see how much my son loves you. And thank you. Thank you for being here."
I smiled. Kinuha ko ang kanang kamay ni Levi at hinaplos ito. Kahit ilang taon na ang huling beses ko siyang hinawakan, alam ko'ng may nagbago. He's so thin... and frail.
"I love your son so much, tita Martha. You have no idea how much I want to take all his pain away. Kung pwede nga lang na ako na lang diyan, bakit hindi? He's already done so much for me. Kaya nga kahit alam kong magagalit si Dad, sumugod pa rin ako rito. I already feel useless for the past months-"
"No, no. Of course not. You're far from that, Blaire. Don't say that." She shook her head.
I smiled. "That's how I felt, Tita. Noong pabalik balik siya sa ospital and I wasn't here. I can't even call dahil sobrang busy."
"Ano ka ba. Your presence here today is already too much. I know you're such a busy person. You've got a lot of task in hand, tama? But you managed to leave those for Levi. Iyon naman ang mahalaga e. Oras, anak. Oras mo lang ang kailangan ni Levi."
Her words were very soothing to my ears. Nakakalambot ng puso na marinig ito mula sa babaeng nagluwal sa lalaking mahal mo. I want to return the favor. I want to make her feel that she isn't alone. Kasama niya kami sa pagdarasal na maging mabuti ang lagay ni Levi.
"Kung sino man pong dadalawin niyo, ipagdarasal ko po ang mabilis niyang paggaling."
I cocked my head when a random voice echoed.
"I know you're in pain too, hija. If enduring the pain is not what you called sharing the same burden with my son, then I don't know what it is."
Ngiti lamang ang naging tugon ko. Bakit ba kasi bigla na lang nagppop-up ang boses no'n out of the blue.
It was 12 in the afternoon when I decided to go out. Medyo nakakaramdam na rin kasi ako ng gutom dahil 'di naman ako nakakain nang maayos kanina. Good thing that Ate Faye arrived para samahan muna si Tita Martha. Ako ang natatakot para sa kaniya. She literally stays wake buong magdamag para bantayan si Levi. Hindi talaga pwedeng walang ibang bibisita dahil baka si Tita naman ang sunod na ma-confine.
Pagkarating ko sa canteen ng ospital ay huli na. Most of the tables were already occupied. Mahaba rin ang pila kaya malamang, bago pa ako makabili ng pagkain ay mahihilo na ako sa gutom.
Instead of joining the sea of hungry people, I decided to go out of the hospital. When I saw a Chinese cuisine restau, I immediately walked towards it. Thankfully, kaunti lamang ang tao. Pansin ko na karamihan sa mga customers ay Chinese, whether businessmen or elite families. Hindi naman na ako out of place dahil sanay na akong mahaluan ng ibang tao sa paligid.
"Xie xie." A chinito guy in his red uniform bowed after he placed my Chow Mein on the table.
In the middle of my lunch, a man in tuxedo greeted me. Pinagmasdan ko siya. May kulay puti siyang bigote, walang kulubot sa mukha, may suot na salamin, at kulay brown ang mga mata. Matangkad, naglalaro sa pagitan ng fair at tan ang complexion. Hindi naman mukhang Intsik. Siguro nasa mid 40's.
"Oh! Leira's daughter!" Nilapag niya ang briefcase sa ilalim ng mesa, sitting across me. "No one mentioned your arrival. Why so sudden? Kasabay mo ba ang Daddy mo?"
Kilala niya ang Daddy ko? At si Mommy? At ako? He must be related to family's business, huh? Sabagay, he looked suave- mga papasa bilang kaibigan ni Daddy.
"Oh!" He laughed, probably realizing na confused ako sa presence niya. "My bad. I forgot to introduce you my name. I'm Luigi Morris." He extended his arm.
My brows formed pleats in between.
"Morris?"
It did ring a bell. Nagdadalawang isip pa ako sa pakikipag-usap sa kaniya nang marinig ko na naman ang halakhak niya. He placed his hand down.
"I know what you're thinking." He fixed his glasses. "I'm harmless, hija. What's between our families, it's all in the past. We don't want a rerun of it, right? Kaibigan ko na ang parents mo. Besides, I'm now in winery."
Tumango ako, still not getting a point. "That's good to hear." I went back to my food.
"By the way, are you here for a meeting?"
"Nope. I'm here for lunch."
"With someone?"
"Alone."
He nodded. "I see. I've heard about your fiancee. Hope he's fine. We don't want him to be like Gabby."
"He won't. Levi's strong. Malabong mangyari 'yon."
"Strong..." he echoed with a grin.
"Why?"
He shook his head, wearing that annoying smug. "Wala naman. I hope you're strong enough too, hija. Minsan, hindi sakit ang pumapatay sa tao. Madalas, mga taong nasa paligid niya. Mga taong hindi mapagkakatiwalaan." My forehead creased when he leaned closer. "Mga ahas."
"What do you mean?"
Humalakhak siya at lumayo. "Nothing. I just want you to be careful and get yourself ready. Hindi mo naitatanong. Ang pinakamatamis na halik ay ang kay Hudas," aniya at tumayo, picking up his briefcase. "Pa'no... Alis na ko? I hope I can see your father soon. By the way, Telesforo is my friend. Magaling daw ang Kuya mo. It runs in the blood, huh?"
"Thanks."
He laughed. "I'll go. It's nice meeting you. Send my regards to Leira."
He went out of the restaurant as soon as he's done bugging me. From the glass wall of the restau, I watched him talked to his valet before the man gave him his car's key. He hurriedly entered the driver's seat of his car and in a swift move, the car vanished to my sight.
The lost of his car in my sight gave my eyes a fuller access to the hospital's facade across the broad street.
Halos mabilaukan ako nang makita ang pamilyar na lalaking iyon. May malalim na gitla sa noo niya habang tinatanaw ang direksyon ng sasakyan ni Mr. Luigi. He then looked at me with curiosity laced in his eyes. I equalled his stares. Anong ginagawa niya rito?
A while later, may sasakyang huminto sa tapat ng ospital, blocking my sight of him. I racked my head and quickly gulped the cold water. I breathed out and took another glance pero nang madapong muli roon ang mga mata ko, hindi ko na siya makita.
Maybe, just maybe, I was hallucinating.
It was past 1 in the afternoon when I decided to go back. Fortunately, nag-join forces kami ni Ate Faye para mapauwi si Tita. Mabuti na lang. Mukhang mababaliw na si Ate para lang sa ilang oras na pahinga ng Mommy niya.
"Alam mo, nakakainis ka! Sobrang KJ mo! Hindi naman porque malubha si Levi, kailangan malubha ka na rin!" Chelzie wailed over the phone.
Kanina pa kasi ako nito niyayang magpunta sa Barnes. She was enthusiastically proud to get all of the committee's approval to her project proposal. Hindi na nga lang siya proposal ngayon dahil soon, her ideas will be in a concrete. And it calls for celebration, as what she said. 'Yun nga lang, hindi talaga ako pwede. Not now when we finally convinced Tita Martha to go home.
"Ano ka ba. Ano na lang ang sasabihin ni Tita? I promised her na babantayan ko si Levi. Lalo na ngayon. Nag-effort kami ni Ate Faye para makauwi na siya."
"E di kausapin mo ang sister niya! For sure naman papayag ang malditang 'yon. She can't say no! Kapatid niya yan!"
"Chelz..." I groaned and plumped myself on the couch. "Stress na rin 'yon sa Lola niya. Tsaka nakalimutan mo na ba? Kaya nga ko umuwi di ba? Para mabantayan si Levi?"
"S'yempre alam ko 'yon. Pero isang gabi lang naman. Promise! I'll stop bothering you na pagtapos nito. I can even ask Zuriel to contact Ruairy. Wala namang girlfriend 'yon ngayon."
"Tapos ngayon aabalahin pa natin 'yung tao? He's busy sa med school."
"Hindi ah! Hindi 'to abala, promise. Pwede namang diyan na lang siya mag-aral sa ospital. He won't mind. Wala naman atang pasok 'yon bukas."
She really seemed dead set on it. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit nakikipagtalo pa ako rito. May mga sarili ako'ng desisyon sa buhay pero pagdating kay Chelzie, tumitiklop ako. She always has her way to something.
"Kasama si Kuya?"
"Siyempre! As if naman papayagan ako no'n mag-isa. Male-late lang daw siya as usual. Baka may date sila ni Maggie." I can almost see her eyes rolling. "So ano? Is that a yes or yes?"
Ngumiwi ako. "Anong choice ko diyan?"
"Obviously, I only accept yes."
I breathe out a puff of air. "I'll just text you. Magpapaalam muna ako kay Ate Faye."
"Ate Faye. Ate Faye na naman! Bakit sa bruhang 'yon ka magpapaalam?"
I laughed amusingly. "Hanggang ngayon ang laki pa rin ng issue mo sa kaniya e no?"
"Ewan ko ba sa babaeng 'yon. Siya ata nawawalang kapatid ni Maggie. Bahala nga sila sa buhay nila. Basta pumunta ka! Kundi kakalimutan ko'ng future maid-of-honor kita!"
"Sinong papalit? Si Ate Faye?"
"Che!" She ended the call.
Pinag-iisipan ko pang mabuti kung dapat ko bang i-text si Ate Faye. If I will decline Chelzie, she will surely come over here para lang kaladkarin ako. Kapag nagmatigas ako, malamang magtatanim na naman ng sama ng loob 'yon. But I already promised to Tita Martha. Kaya nga siya nakauwi ngayon at kampanteng nagpapahinga dahil nangako ako. Si Chelzie talaga. She really loves hanging me on the cliff's edge.
Chelzie:
I texted Faye. You know I can swallow my pride naman for you. See you later!
Hindi pa ako nakakapag-reply nang makareceive kaagad ako ng tawag. My heart pumped when I saw Ate Faye's name.
"Ate, it's okay. I'll make her understand. Dito na lang ako kay Levi," bungad ko.
She chuckled. "It's alright, Blaire. Sumama ka na ro'n. I don't want your friend to fantasize about killing me again."
I pouted. "Pasensya ka na do'n, Ate, ah? She's just really a jealous fiancee. Don't worry. I'll talk to her about it."
"Ano ka ba! No worries. Baka mas sumama pa ang loob no'n sa 'kin. 'Di bale. Just join her for tonight so she won't sulk anymore. Ako na ang bahala kay Levi."
"E pa'no si Tita? I promised."
"Hindi 'yun. Tsaka tinawagan ko na mga friends ni Levi. They can be your swap."
"Nagconfirm na?"
"Hindi pa. Pero kung 'di man, I can go there tonight. Marami pa naman akong time bukas para sa mga pending. I'll leave the office before 8."
Paulit-ulit akong nagpasalamat kay Ate maging sa text. I don't really know what to do without her. Baon na ako sa mga utang kay Chelzie. I already missed a lot of her milestones. Kapag nakahanap talaga ako ng time, I'll tell her to make-up with ate Faye. She's nice. Hindi niya lang makita 'yon dahil selos siya. Ate Faye is her fiancee's first love. The biggest thorn in her flesh.
"Uwi ka na, Blaire?" tanong ng isa sa mga kaibigan ni Levi. Mabuti na lang at dumating sila. Ate Faye wouldn't be bothered.
Ngumiti ako. "May gagawin lang."
Naagaw ko ang atensyon ng iba pa nilang kaibigan. Pasimpleng umismid sa akin ang isang babae. Iniwas ko ang mga mata ko sa kanila at muling bumaling kay Naiah na nakangiti sa akin.
"Ingat ka. May dala ka bang sasakyan? May pila ng taxi diyan sa tapat."
Umiling ako. "Hindi na, nagpasundo naman ako," sagot ko at huling beses na sinulyapan si Levi.
"Well, if that's the case then, ingat ka." She smiled.
It was almost 7 nang makarating ako sa bahay. May isang oras pa ako para mag-ayos. Chelzie will pick me up by 8. Dapat naman talaga ay hindi na dahil nakaparada lang naman sa garahe 'yung Aston Martin na bagong wash pa. But she insisted. Mahirap daw makahanap ng parking space 'pag gantong oras.
Inumpisahan ko ang pag-aayos sa mahaba kong buhok. I blew it dry and curled the tip of the strands. I let my hair disheveled, gumagaywang sa mga kilos ko. Sa mukha ko naman, manipis lang ang nilagay kong make-up. Just enough to highlight the contours. I picked the simple yet attractive black tube dress na isang beses ko pa lang naisusuot. This might be the last.
'Don't bother to come in, lady. I'm on my way out,' reply ko kay Chelzie nang magtext siya na nasa baba na raw siya.
Simula nang umuwi ako rito, I haven't yet seen my brothers. Pareho silang busy. Si Kuya, may walk-in closet na siguro sa office niya. Si Bailey naman, kung saan-saang bahay nakikitulog. Sleep-over daw para sa research paper. Kalokohan. May sleep-over din kami no'n para sa research pero nagmovie marathon lang kami.
"OMG girl, you're goddamn hot!" Chelzie commented as I went inside the front seat of her car.
She's wearing a navy blue cocktail dress and half of her hair is properly tied. Sa make-up talaga kami palaging nagkakasundo. Pareho naming ayaw ng makapal.
"Hindi ka ba pinagbabawalan ni Levi?"
"Na?"
I reflected my face on the mirror and closed the door. My eyes widened when she pressed my exposed cleavage.
"Chelzie!"
She laughed. "Ayan! Magpakita ng ganiyan." She amusingly put the pedal to the metal.
Sumimangot ako habang inaayos ang tube ng dress ko. "Hindi naman lahat ng lalaki katulad ni Kuya."
"Kahit na! It's a natural man-like gesture, you know? Lahat naman sila overprotective. It's either concern talaga sila or nagpapa-cool lang pero fuckboy naman."
"So anong point mo?"
She shrugged. "Hindi ko rin alam."
I rolled my eyes. I honestly miss nonsense conversation like this. Maliban kasi sa two years na pagkawala ko, naging busy rin kaming dalawa. Back when we were still students, we'll get busy together. True enough, there's a bigger world outside the school. And people tend to grow a part from one another. Kahit pa kasi gaano kayo kalapit no'ng tao, magkaiba pa rin ang end-game niyo. But having different epilogues doesn't mean that you have to be a part forever. Hindi lang kami magkasabay na nagmature. Pero kami pa rin ang magkasama sa huli.
We have this whole lifetime to catch up, to tell each other how we've been, and to share our stories of growing up.
"But I really hope that Zuriel isn't as tight as he is. Parang Levi lang."
I averted my eyes to her, looking confused. "Bakit naman?"
"You know. I always admire Levi when it comes to handling relationships. Hindi siya strict pero hindi rin super lenient. Tama lang. Hindi nakakasakal."
"While Kuya?"
She took a glimpse of me. "Anong while Kuya?"
"Come on! It isn't the first time that you compare him to some other guy."
Nanlaki ang mga mata niya na parang ngayon niya lang 'yon na-realize.
"Grabe! Hindi naman sa pagcocompare! I love him for being him. 'Di ko lang maiwasan na minsan, kahit minsan lang, alam mo 'yun. Umasa."
"Na?"
"Him, hanging loose. Kasi minsan kahit super pasaway ako, mabigat din naman sa loob ko na suwayin siya. And I can't just obey him forever."
I nodded. "Have you ever talked to him?"
Sandali niya akong binalingan bago muling binalik ang mga mata sa daan. "Bakit ikaw? Have you ever talked to him?"
"S'yempre magkaiba tayo. I'm his sister. 'Pag nakasal na kayo, he'll be easy sa 'kin. How about to you? Kuya will tighten the screws more. So might as well address your issues to him before you two tie the knot. Mahirap 'yan."
Tsaka magkaiba naman kasi kaming dalawa. Chelzie's the lucky one. Kaya lang naman naghihigpit sa 'kin si Kuya dahil sa negosyo. He hates me getting into trouble kasi dapat prim and proper kami. Ano na lang daw sasabihin ng mga tao kapag na-involve kami sa gulo? He always care for the name. For the reputation. That's all he's concern about. Pero kapag kay Chelzie? He's obviously in love with her. Madly in love with her. Mahal niya si Chelzie kaya protective siya rito. Damn him. He can even risk the name he's been taking care of for her.
But never in anyone's dream I'll tell this to Kuya. Kung sasabihin ko sa kaniya 'to, he will know about my little jealousy for her fiancee. Hindi naman na dapat nila malaman 'yun. Ako lang naman 'to. Ako lang naman 'yung may problema.
"At some point," pagsasalita niya ulit habang seryosong nagmamaneho. "Ayoko rin naman siyang magbago. Nung college, I like him for being protective sa 'yo. Kay Bailey. Gano'n na talaga siya e. Minahal ko siya sa pagiging protective niya sa inyo. I might compare his personality to other guys, pero yung pagmamahal ko sa kaniya? That's something that I can't compare to anyone." She frowned. "I suddenly hate myself for having the idea of changing him."
I rolled my eyes and settled my elbow to the window while caressing my temple.
"Yun naman pala 'e! Ano pang dinadrama mo diyan kanina?"
"Ito naman! Di ba pwedeng sudden realization lang? Epiphany? Ngayon lang nalinawan?" she reasoned out and stepped on the break. "Oo nga naman. Kahit naman maghigpit siya, wala pa rin siyang magagawa. Nasa 'kin pa rin ang huling halakhak." She laughed and roared the engine to life again.
I sneered. "And who told you that? Believe me, Chelz. Si Kuya pa! Palagi siyang may nagagawa. Example, ripping off your dress and punishing you to bed- Oh my God!" I shrieked when the car ground to a halt. "Oh my God! Chelzie! Can you drive safely?!"
"Oh my God? Ikaw pa may ganang mag Oh my God? Oh my God!"
Now it's my turn to laugh out loud. "Why? Stop acting like a pure swine, will you? As if you never made it on your three years relationship with him."
"Wow! Galing sa pretentious bitch na in a relationship with a notorious f-boy for five years!" ganti niya bago kami makarinig ng ilang busina sa likod ng sasakyan.
Sa buong byahe, wala kaming ibang pinagtalunan kung sino ang mas maraming experience when it comes to making L. We're not usually vulgar. We don't do kiss and tell. Pero sadyang kilalang kilala lang namin ang isa't isa. We notice weird mornings. 'Yung mga weird na umaga ng isa't isa na mahuhulaan mo agad na may nangyari, isang gabi.
The loud beat of the music, the disgusting smell of cigarette smoke, and the sea of wild people welcomed us as we enter the club. Bumubuka ang bibig ni Chelzie but her words came out incoherent to my ears.
"Ayun sila!" the only words I heard.
Hinigpitan niya ang kapit sa palapulsuhan ko at hinila patungo sa malayong table.
"Excuse me, excuse me!" She pushed some drunken people away. Wala naman nang pake ang mga ito dahil mga lasing na. "My, God! So many wild animals!"
I sighed as we finally reached the table. Pansin kong may tatlong babae roon at dalawang lalaki. Yung isa ay nakatingin sa dibdib ko habang humihithit ng sigarilyo. Ang isa naman ay curious akong tinitignan.
"Blaire, these are my friends. Mga kasamahan ko sila sa trabaho. Eunice, Nina, and Erica. While these men over there are their.. Uh.. Friends?" She seemed uncertain when she introduced the two. "Ah, guys! This is Blaire. Friend of mine from high school."
The three ladies courteously stood up and gave me a slight hug and cheeks-to-cheeks.
"I know you! Blaire Altaluna, right? Your family's quite popular."
Ngumiti ako kay Erica at bumaling sa isang lalaki na naglahad ng kamay. Siya 'yong humihithit ng yosi kanina.
"Luke." He smiled.
I wasn't raised to be judgmental but I don't like his get ups. Mukha siyang fuckboy sa makinang niyang stud. I really hate men with piercings and tattoos. Ang dumi kasi tignan. Ngumiti ako nang hatakin siya paupo ng isa pang lalake. Naramdaman niya siguro na hindi ako kumportable. He waved his hand at me, tumango ako.
"I know you love cocktails. Try this one." Chelzie hand me a cocktail glass.
She tapped the space on her right pero nang mapansin na wasted na ang kaibigan niyang si Nina, umusog siya at pinaupo ako sa kaliwa. Katabi ko ngayon ang lalaki na humila kay Luke.
"Thanks."
Bumaling ako kay Eunice. She smiled at me.
"Pasensya kay Nina. Kanina pa kami rito. She's kinda..." She formed a heart-shape with her hands and broke them. She shrugged.
I chuckled. "It's okay," sabi ko at sumulyap kay Chelzie. She asked for a toast. "She looks familiar." sabi ko at nginuso ang katabing si Nina.
She nodded. "You probably met her in some gatherings. 'Di mo lang napansin. She was Khel's girlfriend."
"Was?" I poured the cocktail to my lungs.
"They broke up yesterday."
Tumango ako, not wanting to stick an oar to other's issue.
I told Chelzie na hindi ako gaanong iinom ngayong gabi. I don't need any hangover tomorrow dahil bibisita pa ako sa ospital. I thought she understands pero pasimple niya pa rin akong inaabutan ng baso. Hindi ko agad napansin ang little agenda niya dahil kinakausap ako ng katabi ko.
"Our parents are good friends. Na-meet ko na rin ang Kuya mo. Dad was actually planning to invest to your company. Nabanggit kasi sila ng mga pinsan namin."
"Oh, that's nice to hear. What's your name by the way?"
He smirked. "Gray Asuncion. Pinsan namin ang mga Donovan."
Tumango ako. Parang narinig ko na nga ang pangalan na 'yon kay Kuya.
Naging busy si Chelzie sa pakikipag-usap kay Eunice tungkol sa bridal shower ng kung sino. Naging sunod-sunod ang pag-order nina Luke ng alak at hindi papayag si Gray na tanggihan ko ang mga alok niya. Chelzie nodded at me, saying that it's alright. I shrugged and gulped the tequila. Hindi ko na lang siguro bibiglain ang sarili ko.
Minutes passed and nabagot na siguro ang mga babae. Nakapikit na si Nina pero nang tumayo sina Chelzie, para siyang nabuhayan ulit. I signalled her na susunod na lang ako. Medyo nanlalabo na rin kasi ang mga mata ko dahil sa mga pinapainom sa 'kin ni Gray. I can taste the mixture of vodka, tequila, and cocktail on my tongue. Maya-maya pa ay tumayo na rin siya. He invited me to the dance floor but I told him na magpapahupa lang ako ng hilo. He just laughed. Kanina pa kami iniwan ni Luke. Para mag CR daw, pero hindi na bumalik.
Naiwan ako'ng mag-isa sa table. Sinandal ko ang ulo ko at mariing pumikit.
"Shit."
Sabi kasi, drink moderately lang, Blaire. What have you done again this time? Wala ka talagang control sa sarili.
Mabilis kong nilagok ang malamig na tubig at pinahinga saglit ang katawan. I can feel my breath growing hot and heavy. Maya-maya pa ay narinig kong nagkakagulo na sa dance floor. Pagdilat ko, natanaw ko si Nina sa bisig ni Khel- my bachelor cousin na tinuturing na blacksheep sa mga Ravelo. Kuya and him were not in speaking terms kaya hindi rin kami close.
"Come on, Blaire! Ikaw na lang mag-isa diyan. Let's dance!"
I let Chelzie grab my wrist and drag me to the dance floor. Noong una ay nakatayo lamang ako roon habang pinapanood ang mga tao sa paligid na itapon ang mga sarili nila. But when Chelzie purposely bumped the side of her butt on mine, I lose. Tumawa ako at ginaya ang mga moves niya.
"Come on! Habang wala si Zuriel!" She convulsed in laughter.
Before I knew it, I'm already dancing explosively. The tube dress dripped down my chest, exposing more part of my cleavage. Paulit-ulit kong inayos iyon hanggang sa mairita at pinabayaan na lang.
Dahil sa pagiging malikot ng mga tao, naitulak ako palayo kay Chelzie. Paglingon ko, kasama na niya si Eunice at para silang tanga. Humalakhak ako hanggang sa naramdaman ko si Gray sa aking likuran. He whispered incoherent words.
"You're so hot..."
Uminit ang pisngi ko. I was about to reply when someone grabbed him from me.
"Hot? Hot pala, ah! Gusto mo ng hot? Halika sa impyerno para malaman mo kung anong hot!" Nanggagalaiti sa galit ang babae habang hatak-hatak ang buhok ni Gray. He labeled his arms to his shoulders, tanda ng pagsuko.
I wagged my head. Usually, lalaki ang sumusugod sa dance floor to punch whoever the man his girl is with. Pero this time, 'yung babae ang sumugod. Hindi niya nga lang ako sinabunutan. Humalakhak ako. Kung nandito si Levi, nasuntok niya na 'yon si Gray.
Levi.
Si Levi na naman.
Nawala ako bigla sa mood sumayaw kaya umalis agad ako sa dance floor. My world was spinning uncontrollably pero kailangan ko nang marating ang couch. Mabuti na lang pala talaga hindi ako nagdala ng sasakyan. I don't think I can drive. Susunod naman si Kuya rito kaya malamang siya na ang bahala sa 'min pauwi.
Ihahagis ko na sana ang katawan ko sa couch nang maramdaman ko ang mabigat na kamay sa balikat ko. The man in executive attire forcefully made me face him.
"What the hell, Blaire! Lasing ka?" Kuya surveyed my face. Tinapik-tapik pa niya ang pisngi ko. "Fuck! You're drunk!"
Sa sobrang lapit ng mukha niya sa 'kin, kitang kita ko ang pamumula ng mukha niya. He clenched his jaw. Mas mukha pa siyang lasing sa 'kin. I laughed and shook my head.
"Hindi. Tipsy lang."
At parang tanga lang kasi bigla akong nahilo. I lost my balance but he quickly caught me in his arms. He cursed, natawa na naman ako.
"Tipsy? Tignan mo nga 'yang itsura mo! And your chest!"
I looked down my chest. Kumunot ang noo ko. I placed my hands on both sides of my breast and pressed it.
"Chest pa rin naman?" I whispered to myself. Hindi naman siya natanggal.
He cursed with a gritted teeth. Lumayo siya sa 'kin at nilibot ang mga mata sa buong bar. Sinabunutan niya ang buhok niya at muling nagpaulan ng mura. Alam kong gustong gusto niya nang umalis at iwan ako. Kahit dim ang lights, kitang kita ko ang iritasyon sa mukha niya. He looked real frustrated. Gulo-gulo ang buhok niya at naka-button down ang polo. Kung hindi ko lang alam na faithful siya sa kaibigan ko, iisipin kong totoo ang allegations ni Chelzie na nakikipaglandian siya kay Maggie.
I shrugged. "You know. Pwede namang iwan mo na ko rito para hanapin ang fiancee mo. I won't mind. Really. I'm used to it."
He glared. I cocked my head when he stepped closer again. Muli niyang dinakma ang mga balikat ko.
"Where is she? Tangina naman kasi, Blaire! I texted you! I told you not to drink! Not to dance! I told you to look after her! You know she has drinking problems! Bakit mo pinabayaan?"
Not to drink? Not to dance? Hindi naman nila nilinaw na babysitter pala ako ngayong gabi.
Maybe it was due to the alcohol. My eyes began to water. Lumuwag ang pagkakahawak niya sa 'kin. I faked a laugh. Of course, si Chelzie. Si Chelzie naman talaga ang concern niya. Why was I even wondering? It takes million of excuses para payagan niya akong magpunta sa club. Kasi makakasira sa image ng pamilya. Fuck image. Fuck reputation. That's the only thing that matters to him! And of course, his fiancee! Wala ngang pasubali na pinayagan niya akong pumunta rito. Kahit hindi naman talaga usually ganito. Bakit? Ano pa nga ba! Para bantayan ang pinakamamahal niya!
Inalis ko ang mga kamay niya sa balikat ko at sumalampak sa couch.
"I'm not her babysitter, okay? Himbes na inaaway mo ko, bakit hindi mo na lang siya puntahan do'n?"
Muli siyang nagmura at nagsalin ng tubig sa baso. Padarag niyang inabot sa 'kin iyon.
"Sober yourself up quick. Wag kang aalis. We'll talk later," and he stormed out of my sight.
Napailing ako. I crumpled the hem of my skirt. Naiinis ako kay Kuya. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko. I hate him for disregarding other people's feelings for business. For Chelzie. Dapat sanay na 'ko. Pero hindi ko talaga maiwasang makaramdam ng gan'to. Never siyang nagpakita ng concern sa 'min ni Bailey kapag walang kinalaman sa negosyo. Kapag walang kinalaman kay Chelzie. He loves controlling me and Bailey for the sake of his own satisfaction.
I hate him for that. But I hate myself even more. I hate myself for thinking this way. I hate myself for being envious with Chelzie. She doesn't deserve it. I shouldn't feel bad for it. Pero ito talaga ang nararamdaman ko. Ganito ako. Ganito talaga ako. And I am sorry for being like this.
When a single drop of tear fell, I immediately grab my bag and went out of the suffocating place. Magtataxi na lang siguro ako.
I racked my head.
No.
Kapag umuwi ako, kakausapin ako ni Kuya. He's mad. Obviously. Galit siya kasi hindi ko nabantayan ang fiancee niya. At galit rin ako. I don't want to burst out tonight. Or not in time. Kilala ko si Chelzie. She's soft. She'll suffer to the consequences of this absurd jealousy. This will make her feel terribly bad. Ayokong mangyari 'yon. She's like a sister to me. Mas kapatid pa nga ang turing niya sa 'kin kaysa kay Kuya. I won't risk losing another sibling.
Napakamot ako sa ulo ko.
Si Kuya naman kasi!
I cursed out loud when I felt something going around in circle inside my stomach. Nanlalabo na naman ang paningin ko. I rushed to the nearest trashbin and threw out all the rainbows in my tummy.
Ew!
Dahil ayoko pang umuwi, naglakad-lakad na lang muna ako. Tahimik na ang kalsada at wala nang masyadong tao. Time at this point becomes irrelevant to me. Malay ko ba kung anong oras na. I just want to walk. Am I going to check in to a hotel? Kapag umuwi ako, mag-aaway lang kami ni Kuya. I am sure of that. Kapag naman sa ospital ako pumunta, baka kung anong isipin ng mga kaibigan ni Levi.
There. His name. I remembered him again.
Kung nandito lang 'yun, for sure ipagtatanggol ako no'n kay Kuya. Ayaw na ayaw no'n na sinisigawan ako. Kahit pa ng kapatid ko. He's always gentle pagdating sa 'kin. He knows my weakness. Alam niyang si Kuya 'yon. I didn't talk to him about my issues. Kahit naman ganito ako, mahal ko 'yon si Kuya. I don't want to stain his name sa isip ng ibang tao. Lalo na sa best friend niya. But Levi, knowing me better than anyone else, noticed it. Kahit hindi ako nagsasalita, i-cocomfort niya 'ko. That's what I love the most about him. I don't think I can still found someone who knows me better than Levi does. Kilalang-kilala niya na 'ko. He reads my mind like an open book.
At kung nandito siya, siya ang magpupunas ng mga lintik na luhang 'to.
"Don't need it still?"
Nag-angat ako ng tingin. I didn't even notice na nakaupo na ako sa gutter. At mas lalong hindi ko inaasahan kung saan ako dinala ng mga paa ko. I was in front of a church. A catholic church.
"Why are you here?" tanong ko kay Jehoram nang magsquat siya sa harap ko.
"Pauwi na 'ko. I saw you. Ikaw? Bakit ka po nandito?"
"Bawal ba ako rito?"
"May sinabi po ba ako?" he spat and sat beside me. Umikot ang mga mata ko. His brows almost converge when his eyes wandered around. "Wala ka na namang sasakyan? Sabi ko naman sa 'yo e. Pwede namang kontakin si Tatay. Kaya nga po siya family driver, di ba? Para ihatid-sundo kayo."
"Kasama ko si Kuya."
"Oh nasa'n siya?"
I shrugged. "Iniwan ko."
"Ha? Bakit naman-"
"Do you really stay this late outside?" I cut him off to stop his queries.
I don't want to bring it up to him. I can't even open this up to my closest people, what more to someone I barely knew. Kaso parang iba ang pagkakaintindi niya sa tanong ko. It was as if the question caught him off guard.
"I mean, gabi na ah. Anong oras ba natatapos trabaho mo?"
His eyes almost do that twinkling in amusement. "Curious ka na po?"
Agad lumipad ang palad ko sa braso niya. "Ewan ko sa 'yo!"
He laughed. Maya-maya pa, pinatong niya sa binti niya ang isang paperbag. Seriously, palagi na lang may bitbit na paperbag ang isang 'to. Kumunot ang noo ko nang ilabas niya ang maroon na jacket doon at iabot sa 'kin.
"Malinis po 'yan. Di ko nasuot kanina."
"Aanhin ko 'yan?"
He rolled his eyes. "Ano po bang ginagawa sa jacket?"
Binatukan ko nga. Ang hilig talaga mamilosopo ng isang 'to! Bakit niya ba kasi binibigay sa 'kin ang jacket niya? As if on cue, napayuko ako upang tignan ang dibdib ko. Kumakaway doon ang cleavage ko. Agad akong nakaramdam ng init sa mukha.
"Two..."
"Anong two?"
Umiling siya at nag-iwas ng tingin. I saw how he bit his lips when he can't refrain himself from smiling. Napailing ako at sinuot na lamang ang jacket.
"Seriously, bakit nga nasa labas ka pa? Dahil sa work?"
Sinulyapan niya 'ko. "Sasagutin mo rin po ba 'yung tanong ko kapag sinagot ko 'yan?"
"Hindi."
Amusement flash through his hazelnut eyes again. Ang weird din ng isang 'to. Parang kahit anong sabihin ko, mamamangha siya. Kahit siguro i-bully ko siya verbally, mamamangha pa rin siya.
"Galing po akong ospital. Dumaan lang ako rito tapos pauwi na rin."
My brow arched. "Oh bakit mo sinagot?"
"Ayaw mo pa?"
I glared at him. "Ang pilosopo mo!" I offensively pinched his side.
He whimpered, still with a ghost of laughter. Nang pakawalan ko ang tagiliran niya, nagpakawala siya ng halakhak. Napalingon ako sa paligid namin. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita ang isang lalaki na nakasuot ng sutana. Nasa hamba siya ng pintuan at weird na nakatingin sa 'min. Salubong ang mga kilay niya na parang nagtataka sa nangyayari.
Nakakahiya 'tong si Jehoram!
Carrying the embarrasment, I leaned closer to him, telling him to "Shut up!" and covered his mouth with my palm. "Ang ingay mo! Nakakahiya!" nanggigigil kong sabi.
Natigilan siya. I felt his body stiffened. Napatingin ako sa paper bag na bumagsak mula sa kandungan niya. When I realized how awkward our position was, I immediately relinquished my palm from his mouth and moved a little. Blood rushed to my face and something in my tummy felt... weird.
"Four." he mumbled.
"Ha?"
Naabutan kong nangangamatis ang mukha niya. Para itong bomba na malapit nang sumabog sa pamumula. He averted his eyes away from me and scratched his nape like a typical Jehoram.
"Wala."
But it wasn't enough. I moved my head closer so I can survey his face more. Mas lalo niyang nilihis iyon sa ibang direksyon. Nag-angat ang kilay ko. Parang nahawa ata ang pisngi ko sa pamumula ng kaniya.
Umayos ako ng upo at bahagyang lumayo.
Weird.
***
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6bI4JD1ej
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv8GqNouYM
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5K1qE8dsN6
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIRRkS6mYq
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWNW16Jkx1
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUZac0PBeZ
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjHTakF69U
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KpKvVvijj
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSW8oEALb5G
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YGJgfPngO
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeTFXOsjoJ
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnnbx3vHR6
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBjKtkyR44
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HUSBh9oBC
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡem2aFszZiQ
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWb1ziCQzjr
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdL5ilaMrF
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5bOezZAlA
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSOBN4TcdI
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pVBW4eVKx
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFDbmh1Loz
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZrk4kZcAp
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGGahIoh1k
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMylps8jeq
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSjy6Uw2RU
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519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkbLTVLtDh
Ephesians 2:19-22 |519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpamuM3hOju
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFwsvJEV3P
Whenever you feel unloved, unimportant, or insecure, remember to whom you belong.
