Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZppcp2CcC
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To lift his spirits.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt41e59FHFF
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJyPAjMPE5
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuaEKsvhby
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Claude.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0T9B3y6vg
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEer4LtnhP3
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVBi1ppJtO
...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0ZNmWjkWY
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Demeter wasn't working.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJrb5dFteF
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMspaCXNiK5
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMFdGozTwL
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZiIwL9BgJ
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJR9ocZWCYI
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"Bison."569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dK5MrVJxc
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Bread is like the sun.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhbm9LqKZk
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZI7jeiNxqk
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJqx1f0MAu
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEt9hwoBFt
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvFGMJVD5w
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYP1a4j6U8d
...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAac1MHbgI
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Its butt.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnsRxHTF7a
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcNOM7Xvaj
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Hp6fiW22a
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTVFbps9TO
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First, a tractor.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMAXvlLrMR
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnZ77ijV6m
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Gravy.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPm66fAKNTo
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyotLUNtOf
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQgAp0o51i
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Now he's a rockstar.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDLVIc8QNS
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCQZcawr6q
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Do trees poop?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsCTThDlRV
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHOIogpOXF
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKq9keTtcA
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlHyhEnGEO
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM689WPVFRu
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sNrrtd4gL
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3MWrEXyLK
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She couldn't control her pupils.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MO51ubICS
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What do peppers do when they're angry?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2l24iIuusn
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They get jalapeño face.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsvDZZbUlN
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Today someone told me I am average.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTLyVOrE3i
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eptp3ToH0
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I told them that's just mean.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUyNRIWH5o
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEPhTdhX7n
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54hEKh0Zid
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Pointless.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxbFc5ePJ2
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjJgQmm6WL
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkm2l17Hjm
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpn66cXvqXv
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XWZjWCJWO
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5WQs10YEk
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjIaoCV55U
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I tried yesterday but I mist.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqLerA0vIM
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCdwwouln1
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdWdELEgfV
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyEvYHrWNg
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtXSJeBUKI
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vOepmiSeS
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnv4Sn5NUQN
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What has four wheels and flies?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DYqXKjczG
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVIMAbJUZS
...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0J0IB88G8s
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A garbage truck.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2rxMcfN6q
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09Lr8xS8dT
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...so I pushed her over.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkx4tTqm0n
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6amNnXwImp
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rNkjrKL5b
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbS3YREEzh4
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.25da2
