Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyggijXdeBU
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To lift his spirits.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yGsjvdKSu
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjG9OgGbz15
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Claude.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y31DbKaKN
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdafL3o7uQ
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Demeter wasn't working.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFB7lKzg1m1
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hBOSY4YKN
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh163SYmQUe
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoe5QYHARY
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...509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOdcy6ZVl0
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"Bison."509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KwkhzWsqW
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Bread is like the sun.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82bGxRfkzg
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1MYdbcqpX
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmY2Djr4WP
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡho4klHvvwe
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Its butt.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIAsUsmVTB
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡss6mGDSKhm
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSZW0y4Pfq
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First, a tractor.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ff3P6gl6G
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WIFHx4PTG
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Gravy.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xnIM6Ydxz
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKvvbZMX7E
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Now he's a rockstar.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIMSJadDqf
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbh9027750g
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Do trees poop?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbRWnNhOwu
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QoEIN26uf
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAybqgcJvch
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKlP8nIaqz
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTGjBuHUwo
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She couldn't control her pupils.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zSDh5beCy
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What do peppers do when they're angry?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wGVNd7WF1
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They get jalapeño face.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTXZXM1z0s
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Today someone told me I am average.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLerX3owJZ
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I told them that's just mean.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFsx33PKXz
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBx96RiPAo
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Pointless.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKHcwZSd4x
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5AgX5CVx7
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfYl1YEHK5
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ns0GtKEeW
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLEyxocrCl
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I tried yesterday but I mist.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeibBaoZVe
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGY68keOXq
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOthR28VkN
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTttHOZ6Dl
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQBRHZ2zK2
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What has four wheels and flies?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmJLR0jsD0
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A garbage truck.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxes39x9KeR
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLK2RlEkAQG
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...so I pushed her over.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOSsxw3hCD
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxrO7IpYqA
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxG1DqKXmJv
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.232da2
