「去哪？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFBRxRYXhl
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoqFjHTyE4
「急事。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKFDC7Wbbs
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKzq638Z1S
「你不吃晚餐？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXkCjU313t
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZEyq1ttKH
我沒應答，逕自出門。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJMeKlrjMi
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEClRmZIz8
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV34OofMDpH
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfO6rC1fTq
難以言喻的鬱悶。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvcwcMf2kj
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprHgS1QJgj
長嘆。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKCbswJUsx
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqKyU2Tomx
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWn5Nz02IEb
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn310XE6Itc
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LkdKE7W1T
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRkkMnATwj
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4M7GutjI3
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSgbc0otIh
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivr1zAq2y5
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJ9bGYPad7
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpLNVFLUfr
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7EWAPWaE7
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1FOrlQOTe
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5Yei4Q5Of
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQThnP8qee
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvsvLQeyTl
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXBKNbkAoC
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNam1zMUvJ
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYB5X01KWJK
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWBRNZwgm7
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMB9LYdigO
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LNtL6I72H
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCkO14b9QF
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQSPJOaVno
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xl3oOaoFf
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAQU8eMrHq
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNBvAID6Yo
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYdvtlPStU
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMl1cZ1yIJ
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGas5spEeEP
註定的。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70PPSMX5rp
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleYfiBe7ED
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXzwCMvdY5
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhNEhaZCGi
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzAHFqAV5r
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT5sxRVOtR
停步。猶疑。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxKILzNYKe
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6m5VCJUHBL
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1w2maPuJcF
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7I2lkvmBmk
轉身。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGAbGo9B3v
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZvHGuUIlG
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP87m6yk1i6
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMIrfGQwsk
我回身走去。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtU1scJwaGF
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmUwM7CSbN
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKK13Jy7BVz
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8T92NxTfY
把小狗抱入懷內。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuu6CAF1jRd
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6mGuj7Mc5
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRSq2BOdkt
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9RamREeEn
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOFPCjjY45
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KVZT7mcrr
海風？海濱公園步道？412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0GV1VHbeT
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Q4cpCh78E
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30ofeUNKeL
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfRSFCASeN
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwFyumiKpc
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgM2YCI2fw
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFDHUDyoAm
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WTmjehEeg
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHSJbH4rra
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqP1SRcVU7Q
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblWvpDUweI
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9K4jeQr0Y
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc50V2aJp8J
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF49TpR8nfj
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvkiXNNQ1N
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhBJuSEgkK
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWqkd3PPHy
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiyIG00lWj
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLuEM6KbSs
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKdBRrrxgK
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVdk6xXBFF
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIvBNZZFQm
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQxjox7TuE
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPSm2XHSfo
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Acz1zcZZg
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6AnbmTcwa
鬱悶何來？412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJ4kUiFtIj
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOc7u5LBby
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRoVXRsQLX
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCsAs4CAZX
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xgk2f8U8Z
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cH9Uqy46P
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9EYG7IcJy
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGliBrMU3pt
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhAfBnL52P
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9FKuZlGZt
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTYoH6jxHQ
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDrlqsni44
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOaJsUkDfA
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mJUqHa11X
然後呢？根本沒有然後。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HvOrOAiYq
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDymjEtIyR
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1u1cuNeXyl
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8X867999u
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXuEWxVgOF
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.247da2
