x
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1bZURBrWl
I don’t even know when it started—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqU9MhYl7x
this quiet, growing love I have for Kouichi.
When we were little, I always thought of him as my younger brother.
He was always quietly by my side—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGZXe1OJgb
picking up my fallen hair clips,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oXmV5ljYG
handing me a handkerchief when I cried.
I thought he was smaller than me,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYTrsmZh8q
someone I had to look after and protect.
But at some point—he had grown taller than I was.
When he walked beside me,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc34qFQpOBH
his shadow stretched longer, broader.
His voice had deepened.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlscT0cKPu8
His eyes had grown more still.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZI4cecKSl6
And he no longer nodded at everything I said—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpyZEoKBtl
he had learned how to say “no.”
It was in that moment I realized—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5LAILBykl
I could no longer see him as a younger brother.
Because he had become… a man.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uEnv3cSqA
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJB5w3FHIFt
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8apLEzRUDs
When he stands too close, I blush.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wuA3JeGy9
My heart skips.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdxDc0z3BH
Even just meeting his eyes makes it hard to breathe.
If I go a whole day without seeing him, I get restless, unsettled—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyxjZDGtyY
and my mind keeps replaying his face, his voice, over and over.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3ZjA13Gne
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHofwypwwZC
And whenever I do see him,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62ieCBkqjQ
my gaze can’t help but follow him—
From the tousled strands of his hair,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthP7uJnVvQ
to his long, dark lashes,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPuJ8nKd7u
to the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.
Even the light texture of his skin under the sun,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqROrV2FBXS
the curve of his shoulders… and—
That tiny mole on the right side of his neck.
And then…14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqppRMFLOz
there’s his Adam’s apple.
It moves slightly whenever he talks or swallows—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSYOMMAVNT
and every time,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM732CP0TlZ
I find myself wondering what it might feel like14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6tMAJgtE3
if I brushed my fingertips across it.
Sometimes, I even catch myself staring at the shape of his lips.
He doesn’t have to say anything—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJx7YZqIrf
and still, I can’t help imagining:
If one day, those lips pressed against my skin…14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDT90KzsJB
my forehead,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBacJCiHAA
my ear,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUndJMnCM8B
the back of my neck…
And finally—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8OUYtFKa0
if they pressed against my lips—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sQirVrwKZ
what would that feel like?14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLxrVQ584I
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWID2gtqFD
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07GJJeWLnR
It’s like a melody.
A melody I accidentally heard the beginning of,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVH8Zigc1XU
and now can’t stop listening to.
It’s not loud,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cg44iT21f
but it loops endlessly inside me, quietly—
And before I realized it,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk551lUU6VO
I was already too deep to escape.
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jCE1shsOg
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvrhOM7CC0
That day, he was driving me to school.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS01iqH83d
It was supposed to be just another ordinary morning.
Until a little girl suddenly dashed into the street—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmFZfBXUcw
and he hit the brakes.
The tires screeched against the road,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTFIPjn3i1
and the car jolted violently.
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66mUbFMVeu
Before I could react—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxTA16hVjd
his left arm reached across me,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkYr8upaTO
blocking me protectively across the chest.
Just two… maybe three centimeters more,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOd8v2b5oIS
and he would’ve touched me.
That wide hand hovered there, fingers slightly spread,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenhMiMYJkt
knuckles sharp and veins faintly visible.
It was so close I could almost feel the warmth of his fingertips—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IfNXN3tQn
and the tremor in the air between us.
His hand was still trembling.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRhT38ESRY
Almost imperceptibly.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEor6e3iSc1
Not out of fear—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahuu6dJWgd
but from the lingering adrenaline, the instinct to protect.
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XQ5FN1pjY
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhA3Wa22KK
And me?14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZM4e7WPtFy
I was already blushing to the tips of my ears.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Vf0j09uwe
I felt like lightning had struck me.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqNahhDzPx
I couldn’t move an inch.
“My lady, are you alright?”
His voice was so gentle—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIM7nbEaWu1
it felt like it could shatter every piece of armor I wore.
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKNtl3OSC1
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUmr3UJsxR
I quickly turned my face to the window,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgkLdWY3T3
trying to hide the heat in my cheeks and the chaos in my chest.
“I-I’m fine…”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdkh0wVXZ8
The words came out in broken fragments,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZ0aoN84r8
caught in my throat.
I tried to sound calm,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wRCiIpPdC
but I couldn’t ignore that hand—
The hand that had nearly touched me,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRZ7oiJSGI
and somehow felt even more overwhelming than if it had.
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTpgodLK5F
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQkupKHp6c
My heart was in a mess,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsbet1Gjpi
but deep down, in some tiny corner of me, I couldn’t help wondering:
How long has it been since he last touched me?
The last time we held hands was when I was twelve.
He was ten.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoniHXJITsv
We were playing hide and seek in the garden.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijvc3XtzFy
He grabbed my hand, sweaty and small, and said:14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0w1ke2ka6f
“Don’t worry. I’ll pull you along.”
His hand back then was soft and a little damp, still a child’s.
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gNizyxXnz
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjaOfptVtM
But now…
I snuck a glance at him.
That hand had long since grown—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ua4xWNlGD
broad and steady, joints defined,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrRThcWc9B
carrying the quiet strength of a man.
If I were touched by these hands now…14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobUTPEMzqC
Would they still make me feel safe?
Or had they changed—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNkKvraHzW
become something irresistible?
Would his touch still comfort me… 14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhqs4OvjyD
or stir up something I’m not ready for?
I couldn’t say it aloud.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf99uRK4fUt
I didn’t dare look at him again.
I just let those chaotic, greedy, and shamefully yearning thoughts14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaOWO6ToK6
rise like waves in my heart—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAZuNe9XZ8
rippling out in silence.
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQYvAXK396
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJpCNKABdE
It was a touch that never crossed the line—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ369etoyr3U
but deep down, I quietly longed for it to.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmWi7LSesu
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nClf30HN2
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EOpX9aQiK
