09.229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YAy3Xh1Jd
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uGcxDoJu4
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFojU5HEAZh
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqfv1CbtCa
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6ysKaFzvd
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBHk19Kiz7
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqt39RxoD4
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXxo7COBQ1
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8ieltnLy7
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0QXuBWZAs
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhvqeWVrNS
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOLoRnifTm
「怎麼了？」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxHh1ZkF3Y
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadmxJUUr62
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6Pdv5PfH8
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dcAQmRUga
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ktNyiZCgJ
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbGYvOaDHR
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SEgd64OkQ
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0L7GfF6dJX
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGD8BpyR56
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CxbVCm0Lk
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdyB8s5g5p
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjVHkX7pzT
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QkPbnl4bi
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWX7dq0om8V
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqeybUnnip
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFYDI6ZYfV
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGHZqiYtis
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsW70yULVJ
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFa7O6DvO1
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ239F1OedMv
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIHpWWt7Sw
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpm0Lw5gdZ
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJ1GNsrobs
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKD7fCW5fc
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxp7yDw4yRU
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhety2z1te
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8O1pGGzG5k
「也要。」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHAF94cLfI
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf568Gckzj9
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HWCxJ8US8
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8TL6W6kfc
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9KqV6Xb4c
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAHNRkj558
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPyI5sc8bh
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQ4QYvlf2U
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5wbQwJOC3
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkm6T5pCUMI
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjeD29HXsq
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2yJO7fXBz
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhFicDQvso
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvgNBWfvsV
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9QCkDn5id
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiGYcp4pnv
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuowzBlldr
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7gCWRV4rM
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtdekqdRpf
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRkxOpFtmD
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWP5lUkCRVV
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlN4hPBO0Fe
「愛的本質？」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAU3qkW8S60
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUbROUbBOK
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDBiKnsUKU
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUl1YS9sDyN
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3zuUXa85R
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoOlPv9qdJ
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNf5Dr8XDLt
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAgxesKRde
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ745eeKPBfG
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCTxby8irB
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUglzSXWtXg
「新年快樂。」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ59JGGyrVE
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanp8N5rj8g
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYTRBpt8yX
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyysG0YIcyH
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtue6P1c4r8
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEdk6r7AuP
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYs0gv9TTUG
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEE4dSGn4Kt
「新年快樂，傑。」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1h36iXjnVI
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmfEbJX3VV
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8G0HiUSSRZ
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5R22tLzVfW
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrH4EOnOvus
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10.229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxf6scGLbmm
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwwCqWHIJZ
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjYybVhUU0
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOALE3hGcjd
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5DRV9cEdH
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXGNnQoGm8
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OeX0TdVkc
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChZAngMmDw
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PcfIPrPig
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpAxo2tURM
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08gxQ53Ux5
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZTFnHMQsY
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYPDw87A2D
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqyLae4NWN
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrdz4dBBsE
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJ98s0p1Mh
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadKnVZcZZp
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTEjYHMNZ6
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zs7Um73VD
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAXf5FAJFS
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZU0QKN7Od
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUEC9EHWhi
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmb9oGV4ji
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxiEYWTeGa
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6m0OzAOKHn
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGx1oB8u6u
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCye8sR4HHB
他對我說：不進來嗎？229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWnfX6C1LL
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyye2ebfT5
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1xLbuLcf4
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnGUR51z1a
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cMUHdjTF2
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANAi82l2CI
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBH8t84RqsY
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9s7AR3huDl
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0f8m9vInZM
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpL6NLmf1X
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Un6bO39oM
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfm7cD1WTCU
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMYaZ43IBG
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsF24m2QJMU
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdDfLJ8oAS
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFwZKeg72z
我好像從未了解過他。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47iPqvKYWs
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6DPVGm3ad
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynpy2rb9xe
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYJtVUG2BJ
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmMugKKw7K
「是你嗎？」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvHwXRIdOm
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYgYzYz3A6
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTo9NGJ1ySa
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpSXxGl9JV
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZJFrIAo79
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJSqRSUIIH
夏油傑笑了一下。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfd6lv22h8N
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PDM2ROzYq
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RERRt6Eur
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0icxF0YoSn
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCq650GZqs
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gjpyN46iM
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncQs5n1vv9
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLlGxGUpTv
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxTtYjI76D
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlBeg1MLYx
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYU4WowKqC4
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPmfIdWXte
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0Q9Ejs8OB
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8DObi3vd3
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYspFWj9YQ
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3UgbioNFC
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXz2LSCBc3C
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBL68vjYvvv
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHUou7R1yK
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrA7yw6dP8
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1mQcpQn1w
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnSOw2xIsF
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHe1Vh7O3u
就這樣吧。229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEd1qI8iy2c
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0a5K3z2aub
229Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8Y6lf6e8E
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