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>下篇-下之二35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXafsxcBHK8
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「路德，這家晚餐套餐有優惠價格，所以別拘束，你想吃什麼就點什麼吧。」男人接過侍者遞來的菜單，面向他微笑「我們父子倆也好久沒吃上頓了，上回是去年八月左右吧。」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeGRZNENOI
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路德維希沉默攤開自己手邊的菜單，仔細瀏覽上面的菜色。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo30wPLN8HM
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出社會工作之後，由於自己獨居，加上住的地方父母親都曉得，因此他們偶爾會來找他吃個飯，其中以父親的次數最為頻繁，當然父親帶給他壓力也是最大的。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQl0aYaWLC
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明明只是吃頓飯而已，他每回都必須緊繃全身神經小心應對父親言外之意的問話，剛開始還渾然未覺，幾次下來便曉得父親十分在意母親的近況，他覺得可笑，當年是因為父親外遇而導致整個家分崩離析，但父親卻彷彿忘了他簽過離婚協議書似的，言談間都會追問母親是否有了新的男友、最近有提到哪個男同事的追求啊諸類云云，面對這些問題，他總想既然這麼在意，為何不直接去問母親？而要透過他？況且父親和母親的工作性質相似，同事圈與朋友圈在一定數量上有重疊，他大可也能透過他人去旁敲側擊一番，為何一定要從他這裡問出所以然來？35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGYppf2HLd
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他想，也許父親是好面子，自己對前妻還念茲在茲的，要是旁人知曉了肯定閒言閒語，而父親卻是無法忍受被人當嚼舌根材料，當年他和母親的離婚事情不曉得他如何對外宣稱的，不明內情的人以為是母親的問題，閒言閒語了一陣，逼得母親不得不趁著別公司挖角的契機換個工作環境。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0psFYp1OH
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侍者走過來禮貌向他們詢問餐點品項，他點了附有前菜、沙拉、飲料及飯後甜點的經濟套餐。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNDbbQkCI6
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點完餐點以後，侍者端來兩杯加了檸檬片的白開水來放在他們桌前，他拿起喝了幾口，坐在對面的父親則拿著智慧型手機傳送著什麼訊息，傳給誰什麼內容，他都沒有興趣知曉。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRu9MMcjNYD
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適逢晚間用餐尖峰時刻，餐聽內人滿為患，坐在靠窗的位子，路德維希俯視底下如流星閃逝般的車潮。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwd7YNN166D
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黑夜裡燈光紅紅綠綠，他腦裡浮現聖誕節時和母親他們吃飯時與基爾父親對談的光景來。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHHmKoun7y
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當時候他並不如自己先前臆測與對方交談時會產生不自在的尷尬，相反地，他和基爾的父親聊得十分暢快，彷彿他們其實就是真正的家人，這不全是因為他們在知識層面上的契合，更主要在於基爾父親予他一種沈靜穩重的氛圍，說話的音調、言詞內容也不讓他必須揣測其言意圖的焦慮，可以放心地輕鬆與之交談。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2FoFlnR1y
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思即此，路德才終於發現一個早該發現的問題，基爾伯特的母親呢？是過世了，還是離婚了？但貿然問似乎也不大妥當，畢竟不管是哪種可能性，換作是他被問及，他也會不大喜歡。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9ECHeRHpm
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直到前菜上桌前他們父子倆就一直保持著一方沉思一方傳送文字訊息的沉默狀態。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxl081FCyGL
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他的前菜是一份冰涼的水果沙拉，切成塊狀的蕃茄、鳳梨、蘋果用竹籤串在一塊放在白瓷盤上，旁邊還用沾醬畫了三撇，侍者上菜時貼心提醒他可以醺醬一同品嚐，滋味會更有層次。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIq8nxBNH8a
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他照著侍者的話沾了些，入口的滋味確實柔和並使人開胃。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5RivViosN
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沒想到這種價位還能夠有品質，也就不難理解何以這裡滿是用餐者，之後哪天自己再來吃一回吧，路德維希細嚼時想。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChyuKpMu0E
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主菜上桌前的空檔，侍者過來收走他們用畢的餐盤，並又在他們的杯裡添加了些水。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22U9wLVu6w
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等待主菜時，父親擺出溫和的面孔問他：35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNHH9EtWSx
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「路德，最近過得怎樣？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ465xmcZtMY
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「……都一樣。」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nOAitjRYj
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「都一樣？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjwo268Q0p
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「嗯。」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdR6Khx57EZ
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他面目冷然望著略略揚聲的男人，男人的語氣裡有著難以察覺的懷疑，似乎他不該這樣應答，似乎答案要是另外一種，然而對路德維希而言，最近的生活確實都是一樣的，除卻莫名其妙纏著他的人之外，他的生活和先前的狀況其實沒什麼兩樣。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2GgRolY0D
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他不禁有些想笑。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVESKBstqz
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父親是想聽到另外一種吧。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJifbLVXDb
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他們對話後沒多久，主菜便擺到他們面前，侍者掀開蓋子，一時香味四溢。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9he9L5sYO2
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「路德你吃吃看，這裡的餐點很美味喔」父親面容和藹招呼他快吃「我之前來吃就覺得，要是哪天我跟你母親還有你三個人能夠一起來品嚐就好了。」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqqDDmsr6y
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他切下一塊肉放入嘴裡，漫不經心地聽著父親那可笑的構想。三個人？是指以前的他們？還是指現在的他們？過去的父親完全不顧家，現在的父親已經和他人再組家庭，不論是哪一種，都只讓他感覺到父親此番言論不經大腦，甚至有些令他反胃——造成離婚局面的不就是父親自把自為嗎？35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBKQosXWWh
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「而且我們也很久沒有一家三口聚在一塊，你不覺得嘛？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtc4RJc2SJ
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路德維希差點沒被嘴裡的食物噎著，他倏然往父親臉孔瞪去。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPUfTDyiUW
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父親臉上過份自滿的笑容似乎認為他從頭到尾他都是位好父親，甚至沒有發生過離婚這回事。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzECaFGHvI
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一家三口？是演哪齣鬧劇？為甚麼這個男人能夠將這種齷齪事講的如此理所當然？他是想給自己第二任妻子難堪嘛？35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWtOq5Usf1
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「你說什麼……」他張口想反駁，父親卻緊接又問。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNxiLjMRO6
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「對了，路德，我最近從同事那裡聽到你母親有了男友的樣子，這是真的嘛？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORHRzYuFKU
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路德維希感覺有盆冷水從頭傾瀉而下，霎時讓他渾身發冷，冷的牙齒打顫的拼不出詞語，同時他耳裡傳來一陣嗡嗡低鳴，除此之外其他聲音彷彿套了層薄膜，在他身旁以外很遠的地方。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoNzCvX5Hf
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「我更聽說她想和對方結婚呢，這事是真的嗎？要是真的話，我覺得這事不妥當，她怎麼可以讓你去叫別人父親呢？路德，我想你應該要反對這件事情，聽我的話，你母親一向愛你，只要你反對他們的話，她就不會和他結婚了，你也不必叫別人父親……」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx776q3Ct3
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果然如他所料，父親頻繁地撥打電話給他，甚至出現在他工作場所就只因這件事情，他就這麼不想讓母親得到幸福嗎？他就這麼——憎恨母親嘛？恨到要她一輩子孤獨到死嗎？離婚時的造謠生事，使她精神上蒙受莫大壓力，現在又要親生兒子去破壞她晚年難得的幸福，就是因為他是憎恨著母親的緣故嗎？因為不甘願放手轉而憎恨嗎？ 35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrKnmesHSD
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「我還聽說對方有個比你大的兒子呢，我說要交往就算了，怎麼還要跟有個孩子的人交往？你母親在想什麼啊……」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFJWvYNB4T
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「夠了！你不要說了！」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTV7JvNI3W
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「路、路德？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbWhoGKWl3
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路德維希從來不曾和父親大吵，然而這瞬間他卻為了母親的事情朝父親怒吼。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyqisFDssM
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「父親，你已經再婚了！你甚至還有了新的孩子，這樣不夠嗎？為甚麼你就是不肯對母親放手？！」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaH15aCUBX
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「我、我沒有啊」男人被他氣勢給嚇住，講話結巴「你、你想想，你的父親是我吧？那麼你、你還要去稱呼別人為父親，想想不是件很奇怪的事情嗎？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ02P6qfeRt
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「奇怪？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTKQfUxgAU
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「是啊……」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsFqSm9CFU
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「那麼，是要讓我叫你第二任妻子為我的母親？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODaluK0AQP
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「路德你說這也不對……」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqsJsHfYXn
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「那你要我說什麼？！明明當年就是你外遇不承認最後才導致離婚的局面，而現在你又要我去做這件事情？！父親！你再繼續說下去，你的形象在我心中就越低俗不堪！」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1L4DXcefqi
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「不堪？路德你這話說得太難聽了，我只是為你好，哪有低俗……」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSf3ihZvg0e
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「為我好？！要我去破壞自己母親的幸福是為我好？！」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUHEWnWC3i
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「路德你聲音可以小聲一些嗎？別人都往我們這邊看來了……」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSOAhRIcc0
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklvjvGEQDF
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Hj30IyAr7
「既然你這麼在意他人的目光，那又為何要我去做這件事情？是因為你想假手他人達到你的目的嗎？」路德眉一皺，痛苦咬牙「父親，你就這樣地，恨透母親？！」為了傷害母親，連親生兒子都成了籌碼、武器……他極不願意承認，可是從小看到大，他不得不承認，他的親生父親，就是這樣自私狡詐的人，假裝自己是受害者，其實才是加害者。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnmdcq4o0M
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKXet1LCzj
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMc7CFiluQg
「路德你小聲些！」被他大聲斥責下，男人也動氣地吼。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TvMyelnSt
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0Yxqt8KnV
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdauOronhQs
「算了！」不想再和父親說什麼，他起身拿起自己的包包，從皮包裡抽出幾張鈔票，大力往桌上一放「錢我放這，您慢慢吃，我要回去了！」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EiCX4y3MM
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiASuuaGwcd
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp12i2LvluW
「路德！」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡto4QkTLmD8
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Tdcsgs7lT
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFjRQJB70D
無視周遭投來的各種目光，他頭也不回逕直跨出餐廳門外，他一路都以極快速度踩著階梯下樓，內心深處不斷湧上火氣，呼吸急促，口乾舌燥，甚至無法思考。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuqI7fAWmZ
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNJxsTKfxJ
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzGpQ1J0kJ
他很想跟誰說個話，把父親這種試探性的惡劣行為一股腦的傾訴給某個人聽，那個人不一定可以解決他的狀況，但是只要能夠陪他、傾聽他的痛苦就好了……路德維希情緒陰鬱走出一樓，踏上人行道時頓住，怎麼會，他訝異自己腦海浮現的想對之傾吐的人選，這怎麼可能，為甚麼會是他？35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWRhDLgRJs
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygDMIS5x4L
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcmLPvAmKP
為甚麼會是基爾伯特？為甚麼會想跟他說這些？35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2i45WsorQ
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIqWpVWf1R
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHETpQR6EN
然而更讓他詫異的是，就在腦裡閃過基爾伯特影像之後，原本被父親那一番言論激起的情緒也漸漸緩和下來，慢慢回復到平時的狀況。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDi6GHYctF
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrKhJmLEiH
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3vt6q9Npu
路德維希垂首佇立在人行道上，身旁車輛來來回回駛過，他沉默盯著地磚。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI07lv65OIW
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq80u7c3fRZ
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqDUWu965i
他突然很想現在就見到基爾伯特。ns18.217.108.153da2
