同一時間,一艘從帝國出發前往澄冥汗國的船尚未到達目的地。這艘船的乘客之一──單心雪在房間內回想起過去。265Please respect copyright.PENANAyof4ih7Gys
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她很怕孤獨,雖然很想克服,但總是忍不住尋找能依靠的人。265Please respect copyright.PENANATgORzwlWt4
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說白了,她不清楚自己想要甚麼。明明躺在床上,她依然很累。很累,就像在無限期追求一樣連存不存在也不清楚的事物。她在獨自旅行的這段期間遇過很多人,縱使也許不會再見,他們都在她心裏留下了印記。265Please respect copyright.PENANAKUS5mh8wGx
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然而,這些印記填不滿心的缺口。265Please respect copyright.PENANA0AAROVdWMZ
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她想要甚麼?逝去了又追不回來的事──人。265Please respect copyright.PENANAykreZCcCWE
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「啊......」躺在床上也感覺疲勞沒有散去的她,決定到甲板上看風景。265Please respect copyright.PENANAipBk2FpbgV
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甲板上的船員見到她都向她打招呼。不是因為她本身受他們尊敬,而是她跟著的那個人受他們尊敬。說得殘酷一點,她只是他戴在手上的一條金鏈。265Please respect copyright.PENANAzTELr436Bw
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她倚在船邊,海風拂過,帶她的思緒一同飄往遠方。265Please respect copyright.PENANAutSk1Ptmrn
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梅陀姨姨。265Please respect copyright.PENANAYoR2BMHGja
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如果沒有姨姨,她也許還在孤兒院裏生活。大概十年前左右,一個叫梅陀的人來到孤兒院說要收養小孩。聽到有人來收養,幾乎所有小孩都爭先恐後地圍住梅陀。265Please respect copyright.PENANATnEozOz4pu
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梅陀表面很親切,心雪卻有種她在故意隱瞞甚麼的感覺。經常被欺負的她就算說不上很會看他人臉色,也猜得到別人的心情。265Please respect copyright.PENANAGFqwCRoIPw
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心雪認定梅陀不是自己理想中的母親,便獨自躲在一角。265Please respect copyright.PENANAKZT3dVeTDG
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梅陀留意到不合群的心雪,故意上前和她說話。心雪想激怒梅陀,不想她打擾自己,一來便說了句「我討厭妳」。265Please respect copyright.PENANAsfO2G7idNk
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梅陀露出心雪不理解的表情,深呼吸一口,問:「妳真的討厭我嗎?」265Please respect copyright.PENANAh7pefttTf8
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討厭......心雪不明白梅陀問問題的理由,討厭一個人需要理由嗎?說討厭就是討厭,為甚麼要明知故問。265Please respect copyright.PENANAU1gbN4ketj
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「妳是壞人。」心雪臉上掛著厭惡的表情,別過頭說。265Please respect copyright.PENANAXa3Key4gDw
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「為甚麼覺得我是壞人?我有做壞事嗎?」梅陀追問。265Please respect copyright.PENANAHjJLQJXUHd
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心雪自以為看穿了梅陀,梅陀也自以為看穿了心雪。事實上,兩人都沒有看穿對方內心最深處。265Please respect copyright.PENANAfX0jqhWtVA
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梅陀此行確實是要收養小孩,但還有另一目的。她很怕心雪會當著眾人面前說出另一個目的。不過多麼敏感的孩子,也看不到別人的罪疚感。265Please respect copyright.PENANAW1mWXohHMt
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要是心雪說得出來,她的偽善就曝光了。265Please respect copyright.PENANAUsuqaliNXo
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「我不喜歡妳。」心雪重申,期望梅陀能趕快放過她。265Please respect copyright.PENANAL5mHPGD4WR
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「為甚麼不喜歡我?」265Please respect copyright.PENANAaXNhy3dsPB
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「不要煩我!」265Please respect copyright.PENANANXeNpxEkgx
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心雪氣沖沖地跑回房間,鎖上門不讓任何人進來。265Please respect copyright.PENANAL7kk9CZJJ2
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「對不起,這個小孩性格比較乖僻。」在梅陀旁邊的院長解釋,想平息梅陀的怒火。265Please respect copyright.PENANA58bc63BPUw
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沒有生氣的梅陀問:「可以給她的資料我看嗎?麻煩了。」265Please respect copyright.PENANArkcVb8EVJ5
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院長不明白這位說話有口音的女士為何要自討苦吃,但還是按她的要求辦事:「好,請跟我來。」265Please respect copyright.PENANAs6KbvYOUQ0
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「姐姐!不要管心雪那個怪胎啦!帶我走!」孩子羣裏,一個比較大的男孩拉著梅陀衣袖。265Please respect copyright.PENANAHOJzdYgns1
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梅陀笑著跟他說:「姐姐還有些事要做,所以......」她不敢拉開男孩的手,所以只能不斷向院長打眼色求救。265Please respect copyright.PENANADZCYwcQLiI
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院長瞄到梅陀的眼色,粗魯地罵男孩:「文鋒,還不快點放手?」265Please respect copyright.PENANAjj9jODs5Kz
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「是......」男孩垂頭喪氣。265Please respect copyright.PENANAlNqU8z6JEJ
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「好了,你們也回去玩吧,我和這位姐姐有事要做。」265Please respect copyright.PENANAmA0tDwicTB
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院長說完,小孩們都邊說著話邊回去遊樂室。梅陀不太聽到他們在說甚麼,但大概是在抱怨還沒有人來收養他們。265Please respect copyright.PENANAfyvt1eyGW5
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這些事都是梅陀後來跟心雪說的,心雪起初不知情。265Please respect copyright.PENANAmMPkG3vJms
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院長和梅陀來到院長室,院長從書櫃拿了一本書出來。書原本是空白的,每當有一位孩子入住,院長便在新一頁寫下他的資料作紀錄之用。265Please respect copyright.PENANA8O3bxlOLGM
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院長翻到心雪的那一頁給梅陀看,說:「這是剛才那位孩子的資料。」265Please respect copyright.PENANAkYMgnvJKAE
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名字、出生日期、年齡、性別、何時住進孤兒院、大致性格、喜歡的食物和住院前的經歷等等,兩頁內寫了心雪的基本資料。265Please respect copyright.PENANAyRHxvwShT3
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梅陀看完,考慮一番後問:「她在這裏經常被欺負嗎?」265Please respect copyright.PENANAUKB8OXdWge
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「是。」院長點頭,「我們有嘗試過叫孩子們和平相處,但心雪本來就不太合羣,又有些孩子比較調皮。我們說教完之後最近已經沒有欺凌事件發生,只是心雪依然不願和其他孩子一起玩。」265Please respect copyright.PENANA0j14brzU21
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「性格已經定型了呢。」梅陀像是很有經驗地說,微微嚇了院長一跳。265Please respect copyright.PENANA3gAKC7o3Mu
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梅陀留意到院長的表情,「抱歉,以前工作的時候要分析人的個性,所以不經意說了出口。」265Please respect copyright.PENANAEAbakxMhDW
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「不要緊。」院長也認為不是大問題,「梅陀女士還有事想問嗎?」265Please respect copyright.PENANAYO94QKMpCz
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「我可以收養她嗎?」265Please respect copyright.PENANAHEP3JXqsC9
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「她不太喜歡您,我恐怕強行讓您收養她,對您和她都不好。」265Please respect copyright.PENANANxLYNDQCm2
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梅陀想起自己早前才做過的事,她是為了做對事而做錯事,背負丁點罪惡感對她不是問題。本來早已捨棄罪惡感的她要拾回它,那怕只有一點點也覺得很重。265Please respect copyright.PENANAEOFfUFcd18
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自認不是問題又覺得負擔很重,她知道這種心態很矛盾。但要說矛盾,過去的她更加矛盾。在人面前是一個樣子,工作時是另一個樣子,在某個人面前是第三個樣子,對著自己是第四個樣子,她以前也能隨意在四款樣子之間自由切換,說服一個小女孩跟她走對現在的她不會是難題。265Please respect copyright.PENANAzShgpFy0p2
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她低頭再看心雪的資料一次,有了計策。265Please respect copyright.PENANA5gxzJVkQTm
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「咯咯咯......」梅陀在心雪的房間外敲門,手上拿著一盤食物和勺子,「心雪?我是剛才的姐姐喔!我煮了妳最喜歡吃的辣豆腐,想吃嗎?」265Please respect copyright.PENANAlUrJEMsMP7
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梅陀在質疑自己。她知道心雪的秘密,卻不能告訴自己的秘密給她聽,這對心雪不公平。行家會說「沒有說不是騙」,但梅陀明白這跟欺騙沒分別。265Please respect copyright.PENANA1ZtT4vwZ96
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「辣豆腐?」房間內的心雪好像有點興趣。265Please respect copyright.PENANAMmLlAugh42
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「是啊。姐姐親手煮的,想吃嗎?」265Please respect copyright.PENANAhk3FcbgzvH
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心雪沒有回答,數秒後,她解開門鎖開門。265Please respect copyright.PENANA4EMnoTJGHt
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「進來。」心雪抬頭跟梅陀說。265Please respect copyright.PENANAnWSsxpsOiJ
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心雪的房間很整潔,一點灰塵也看不見。房間內只有一張床、書桌椅和幾件玩具,梅陀心想這也許是孤兒院的標準配置。265Please respect copyright.PENANAKggYMi2Hgf
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心雪關門後告訴進門的梅陀:「放在書桌上。」265Please respect copyright.PENANAcNIhZAiAP5
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梅陀放下盤子問:「我可以坐在椅子上嗎?」265Please respect copyright.PENANA68v0BuAPDd
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雖說如此,這張椅子對梅陀來說有點小。265Please respect copyright.PENANA6iwPpPzJ3b
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「可以。」心雪坐在床上。265Please respect copyright.PENANAfeN1uTl7MJ
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梅陀看穿心雪對她仍有戒心,拿起盤子和勺子遞給她,「吃吧,小心熱。」265Please respect copyright.PENANAsITWbphzGw
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「嗯。」心雪接過盤子,用膝蓋當毯子吃豆腐。265Please respect copyright.PENANAYQtyc9oWsx
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心雪吃得很慢,梅陀利用這段時間思考要如何「馴服」她。265Please respect copyright.PENANA1MRq0PPZlZ
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梅陀自覺很壞,但為了滿足贖罪的感覺,不得不這樣做。難得能離開那個世界,她想捨棄過去。265Please respect copyright.PENANAPLOWAzQu1k
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不管以前的她是甚麼人都與她無關。265Please respect copyright.PENANADd8uz3sR3z
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「謝謝。」心雪吃完,遞盤子和勺子給梅陀。265Please respect copyright.PENANAV0F8FgR1Za
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梅陀放好兩樣東西後拿出手帕說:「嘴邊有點髒。」265Please respect copyright.PENANAHlCOwII3D9
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她幫心雪抹乾淨嘴,放下少許戒心的心雪問她:「為甚麼要對我這麼好呢?」265Please respect copyright.PENANAppVmnLj22a
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「哈哈!」梅陀發自內心地笑:「這很平常啊,怎會是對妳很好呢?」265Please respect copyright.PENANA5xYPFNPSB0
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「從來沒人對我那麼好。」心雪低頭看著木造地板。265Please respect copyright.PENANAL7uW7xyArW
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孤獨的小孩。265Please respect copyright.PENANA6NsAWqrdps
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梅陀對付過這種對象很多次,要討好他們,給他們想要的就好了。265Please respect copyright.PENANAfq8qT4xaPM
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咳咳,又犯毛病了。265Please respect copyright.PENANA3PZB7H1fad
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梅陀用手托起心雪的下巴,看著她的雙眼說:「妳不孤單,我會陪妳。」265Please respect copyright.PENANAWzMNyre6L8
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對小孩說這句話或許太過肉麻,但梅陀正是知道「太過」肉麻的話對小孩更有用。成熟一點的青少年甚至大人會感到抗拒,不過小孩子會被打動。265Please respect copyright.PENANAZlSgChwjAB
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心雪不知該作何反應,目瞪口呆。265Please respect copyright.PENANA3l06HLt7z4
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想起來,她當時便是被梅陀這句話感動到而選擇跟梅陀走。跟梅陀走或者等下一個願意收養她的人,當時的她只有這兩個選擇。265Please respect copyright.PENANAMxEX9DJNwD
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她很感謝梅陀,梅陀教曉她許多戰鬥技巧,讓她即使被人搔擾也不害怕,又教她煮飯以及許多生活技能,當初跟梅陀走真的太好了。265Please respect copyright.PENANAd4AZKYDu0O
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如今,她在這艘船上遇到值得追隨的人,她能為他做些甚麼嗎?她不懂他的一切,即使如此,有她能為他做的事嗎?她的力量很少,不過起碼能成為他的心靈支柱。梅陀跟她說過,每個人都不孤單。縱使是那個戴上面具的「他」也不孤單。她要證明給他看,「他」不孤單。265Please respect copyright.PENANAreIUWVMcGb