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Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7C5i7u3i3
Too steady.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjicpsvdlQt
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2Iynesaz4
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTx7yYCOrM
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tlpHZFu22
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUg3Lycue1
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKBPF6Lbdc
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtgxCkXtTu
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXraMY5XZY
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She didn’t blink.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkUORlvHnb
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“Tell me again.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXDvgqLSue
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ718QpcpObc
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmi8Mx3ubQC
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“Play that.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIooilznaPw
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I hesitated.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02nJv6V8qD
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“Play. It.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwyzanHMQR
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPry75FJRh
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qitTgURx3
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhEZENZTyI
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Then laughter.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOAp8iKqj1
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWh8LNe3sRU
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjcZcE3NGy
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And me again.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsqbCl44Sj
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsRvExAK0J
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQFUt9MjW7
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsZhytVSFp
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMLiSXTTFr
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfhfucoZLY
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5ckY0DSkr
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWP5ZLpFQl
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29udCeEI8M
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6J8nJ4qRZ
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuG6zw4L2AK
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRbR0TfKUG
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxjSfxfjLD
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx19RurWAQ
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwqZOAdPO3
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90OVyyNZil
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“I love you, Nova.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEiopGsgs0
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjIm4th1Ml
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQVeBmf3fp
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtKQ52VujM
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6Tfg58BAO
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The silence hit harder than any slap.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxn1hHL1QEl
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDlZTDXvwT
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HisGCOZi7
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Door slammed.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLczbXAfK2
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEbH0j8fMp
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Not the one on the tape.22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmaVD7SM4d
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The one that finally decided she was done.
