以下開始多少有雷,請大家自行斟酌囉。299Please respect copyright.PENANASf5hjUnugS
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雖然一開始我打算用多瑪的海景來當作楔子,但是很快就放棄了。299Please respect copyright.PENANAwZhC62Obtk
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在深水於海邊迷茫遊走時,藉由回憶拉出他母親的事情,進而引出接下來的故事——每次我想到這裡,總覺得哪裡不太對勁兒,後來想想可能是景色的關係吧。299Please respect copyright.PENANAG7W4pngINg
299Please respect copyright.PENANAklZE29lgBu
因為多瑪的海是美而湛藍的,跟深水悲傷的心境並不相符。反諷固然是一種技巧,可前提是要讀者已經先接收到角色是悲哀的,落差感才能成形;我當然也可以把海景寫得淒涼、去呼應深水的哀傷,但還是少了點什麼。299Please respect copyright.PENANA8YhqfnGSYR
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到底是少了點什麼呢?299Please respect copyright.PENANAvllGK2q73A
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直到現在我也說不太上來,真要說的話,這是一種手感上的問題。總而言之我在這裡卡了很久,從還在寫大綱時就開始思索;大綱完成之後,之所以遲遲未能動筆,也是因為這個原因。299Please respect copyright.PENANAb0YDJf7JbQ
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後來某天,我忽然認為與其利用回憶,不如直接讓深水演示自己的能力算了;利用模糊的寫法讓讀者對他周圍環境的變化產生興趣,接著再利用托恩讓他的悲傷化為言語——我在腦袋裡其實還沒怎麼考慮清楚的時候,試著寫出了目前版本的簡短草稿,覺得好像可行——至少比在海邊走路好多了——才在3/28時動筆寫出了現在看到的版本。299Please respect copyright.PENANA7u7RCcsDoW
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我想成品大概是令人滿意的吧。299Please respect copyright.PENANAG3yP71owZf
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大概。299Please respect copyright.PENANAPSztQ0IrR5
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大概?299Please respect copyright.PENANAHQuMLtC93Q
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因為某種原因,我的心情其實有點複雜。299Please respect copyright.PENANAjlLqemXKuZ
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《描繪靈魂的方式》299Please respect copyright.PENANAIDfgmuFpMw
https://www.penana.com/story/85295299Please respect copyright.PENANAYu7XYE8rl0