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INT. TATE MODERN, ST IVES - AFTERNOON
Stable shopkeeper DR GREGORY BUTTERSCOTCH is arguing with sweet housekeeper MASTER HARRY CHAN. GREGORY tries to hug HARRY but he shakes him off.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89Xtco05V9
Please Harry, don't leave me.
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HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJapiGu2zY
I'm sorry Gregory, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnp0vSQk4xr
I am such a person!
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HARRY frowns.
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HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfNJW527Vv
I'm sorry, Gregory. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
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HARRY leaves.
GREGORY sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, hopeful doctor MRS CHANTAL MALKOVICH barges in looking flustered.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsDEBSvCxd
Goodness, Chantal! Is everything okay?
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVpwdb8EQp
I'm afraid not.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVsYvyrpt0
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYWyAC8ntt
It's ... an alien ... I saw an evil alien exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSr46xRRf4F
Defenseless swimmers?
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAmzQcoJZn
Yes, defenseless swimmers!
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBS9ny0OkV
Bloomin' heck, Chantal! We've got to do something.
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcnhCtyUX9
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxry8EAin4
You can start by telling me where this happened.
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTplc2NxLL
I was...
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CHANTAL fans herself and begins to wheeze.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhjgig6rHY
Focus Chantal, focus! Where did it happen?
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVGSNC36CG
National History Museum, London! That's right - National History Museum, London!
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GREGORY springs up and begins to run.
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EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
GREGORY rushes along the street, followed by CHANTAL. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - SHORTLY AFTER
SHARON PIGEON a spiteful alien terrorises two swimmers.
GREGORY, closely followed by CHANTAL, rushes towards SHARON, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ782SguZiwu
What is is? What's the matter?
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHs4hiE5omf
That's not just any old alien, that's Sharon Pigeon!
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZ3BFfMikV
Who's Sharon Pigeon?
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9W8jH19tXZ
Who's Sharon Pigeon? Who's Sharon Pigeon? Only the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkg9dExA3v
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhHSVEd02u
You can say that again.
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZPSV57mCg
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxyJaXhEFb
I'm going to need ropes, lots of ropes.
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Sharon turns and sees Gregory and Chantal. She grins an evil grin.
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SHARON210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYemyQcwUWN
Gregory Butterscotch, we meet again.
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkMiDGIVGE
You've met?
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Zxihx4JbL
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
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EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young GREGORY is sitting in a park listening to some drum and bass music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees SHARON. He takes off his headphones.
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SHARON210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nQnPrMUXh
Would you like some chocolate?
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GREGORY's eyes light up, but then he studies SHARON more closely, and looks uneasy.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ09c3VH0Ay
I don't know, you look kind of spiteful.
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SHARON210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBy6tT0unRR
Me? No. I'm not spiteful. I'm the least spiteful alien in the world.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wKqUAL2mJ
Wait, you're a alien?
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GREGORY runs away, screaming.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - PRESENT DAY
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SHARON210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXaOVZgbT3
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKszETQ9ms
(To GREGORY) You ran away?
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaMIYvL8QX
(To CHANTAL) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
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GREGORY turns to SHARON.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGLj465Ucu
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
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GREGORY runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQpy8sbpW9
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with ropes.
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SHARON210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fHDmOCrwd
I'm not scared of you.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPypaWfolWe
You should be.
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EXT. A LIBRARY - LATER THAT DAY
GREGORY and CHANTAL walk around searching for something.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uyHbFUJtC
I feel sure I left my ropes somewhere around here.
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEQjXAT697
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly ropes.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnr72C5EPX0
You know nothing Chantal Malkovich.
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZ56iSSEqm
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
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Suddenly, SHARON appears, holding a pair of ropes.
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SHARON210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ow3CbhTIa
Looking for something?
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXCK79pHpA
Crikey, Gregory, she's got your ropes.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWml1ghSHnT
Tell me something I don't already know!
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlPxGKZhIn
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAymB706Xv
I know that already!
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IVCgY1rNP
I pick my nose and eat it.
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SHARON210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nEXgb2aIV
(appalled) Dude!
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While SHARON is looking at CHANTAL with disgust, GREGORY lunges forward and grabs his deadly ropes. He wields them, triumphantly.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfI71MZ35yR
Prepare to die, you spiteful cauliflower!
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SHARON210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgpyfx7u0i
No please! All I did was exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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HARRY enters, unseen by any of the others.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3iNVGsVl8
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those swimmers were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Gregory Butterscotch defender of innocent swimmers.
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SHARON210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6sr5Iyt38
Don't hurt me! Please!
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DznA7qvOF
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these ropes on you right away!
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SHARON210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZTgXp4jSZ
Because Gregory, I am your mother.
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GREGORY looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIbPYkdBNR
No you're not!
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SHARON210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOdMoXUilA
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
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SHARON tries to grab the ropes but GREGORY dodges out of the way.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50e8CkyMrv
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?
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Unexpectedly, SHARON slumps to the ground.
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpqKv5etYx
Did she just faint?
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeZzRh07nf
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly ropes.
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GREGORY crouches over SHARON's body.
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj07sfjiHGK
Be careful, Gregory. It could be a trick.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoSpFQDBjL
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Sharon Pigeon is dead!
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgwxJKCbcW
What?
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmQFxqnCkv
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.
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CHANTAL claps her hands.
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CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKkGJ8Iu5P
So your ropes did save the day, after all.
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HARRY steps forward.
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HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7XFM71xh1
Is it true? Did you kill the spiteful alien?
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcDivBOYsv
Harry how long have you been...?
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HARRY puts his arm around GREGORY.
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HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEBrltI7S6
Long enough.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ydYRUEPSM
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Sharon Pigeon.
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HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgxO9pxNg6
Then the swimmers are safe?
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81PDgRruJC
It does seem that way!
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A crowd of vulnerable swimmers enter, looking relived.
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HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmqufQWtsD
You are their hero.
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The swimmers bow to GREGORY.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKpZq1RtQi
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Sharon Pigeon will never exterminate swimmers ever again, is enough for me.
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HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhv9HfhMpdW
You are humble as well as brave!
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One of the swimmers passes GREGORY a magic ring
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HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo53mQp4JgG
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZCTKcRHjo
I couldn't possibly.
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Pause.
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GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZiiIbgElO
Well, if you insist.
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GREGORY takes the ring.
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuf6WoEE96V
GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPPTGFOs0S
Thank you.
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bR22tw3m4
The swimmers bow their heads once more, and leave.
GREGORY turns to HARRY.
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hPir17SGV
GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aVRuuFKF9
Does this mean you want me back?
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpWEDpCYke
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIopo8ArzgR
HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn962KT9ckd
Oh, Gregory, of course I want you back!
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmDEqpsrmT
GREGORY smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpY0HipGiVy
GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmpx9TZjks
Well you can't have me.
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6daQPHpKUp
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzE1y2EaO8
HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxi6XuVBs3q
WHAT?
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYQfQonbYo
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcEJj125G8
GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQX2j3wAD0Q
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a alien to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡks3ZOMNjLX
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbl4zXBVkS
HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRtwTRni7z
But...
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8SvneRGwk
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbz0Ge6k4w
GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixuLUOcFlI
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Chantal.
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiZSSXxqHj
CHANTAL grins.
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOaFxG3g1a
HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrswtwY51e
But...
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdND3zNq6FW
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVUjkFSrEO
CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLf8FFrzwQ1
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1YFTGZVlY
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxhVOutXDl
HARRY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfawXuwl5WH
Gregory?
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAvxa8L5F1
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aoYreaSG0
GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsSLDbo9C3
I'm sorry Harry, but I think you should skidaddle.
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZk1Nwr0Jv
HARRY leaves.
CHANTAL turns to GREGORY.
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmI8EvzuRYD
CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FDlNwgNL6
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEYQ5Ev2Fv
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXAScpo8Jr
GREGORY210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj38qkrW0kA
Of course you are!
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6sZOahYLZ
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly CHANTAL stops.
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtgXuj2ZGt
CHANTAL210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0YP8msVOu
When I said I pick my nose and eat it, you know I was just trying to distract the alien don't you?
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZxKOnVWzq
210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfmahfq6bw
THE END
ns216.73.216.29da2
