A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdNeRfkRTl
-:-912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKIpelbnPy
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FoOG70Y0h
CHARACTERS912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqGl9Oylkk
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQuGHC3TY1
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmymeBuWx9
--912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEZT7WuvC2
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbX2MvBsxsh
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8I1o1OyNdH
XIUYING912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVnTFadbA0
We don’t have much time.912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7tqmmvkLR
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGmmc5dGFu
XIUYING912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeYgUjzgPn
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEf0O1iJ0K
CECIL912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ812tU5Zyey
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKatYLN5CrF
XIUYING912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Lm4iWylJS
I understand you’re upset - 912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVr5qjedW6
CECIL912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GoNGE0f1I
I damn well am! 912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPk7vApMhH
XIUYING912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHcpseTBDE
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRejd44cXcv
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7yle6doDc
CECIL912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4FIsSTkzO
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFk9hhG0OBP
XIUYING912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpf9uqP5TP
(slowly)912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpnGhiSsiW
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL55d73F5yK
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBaF90H7hz
CECIL912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6LXnl1zWx
What?912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYenXycfAwp
XIUYING912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9u05ElGutH
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKhNqXuOro
CECIL912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7QMEnWO8x
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHH8WZiVo0V
XIUYING912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLCy9Pzgbj
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfAr7Kc0u8
CECIL912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsGQVc0kEJ
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpYLbBBOlR
XIUYING912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuevf99XDK3
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG40WlQjguF
CECIL912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcgpz7voBQ
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBuQmovCb3
XIUYING912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIiGV2dhZE
That may be the case, but look at this.912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7pYmvGOsI
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEC5P5Nw1r
XIUYING912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJTHYFeCKt
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4Hb1DuGzc
CECIL912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeVVIsUi0K
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3Cnk6fRIO
XIUYING912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZpiZsSCqM
(grimly)912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPgSx8sNXR
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6YrbpaC2T
CECIL912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5yT5Fa44d
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6CdMSV7O9
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FTBoHqeZv
XIUYING912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeZpEwXvZO
Who said anything about paying them off?912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB64F8HHW8H
--912Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOHwu6NWa9
