x
天亮，上班。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHfD6GLCt2
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OoLm0lFAC
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfNB6Ni4Ob
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCqV19rNkR
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswpbW92Wg0
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97cSzTMtu4
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbWZsRHP2e
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9b81Cylpn
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4WUt700Ov
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBX1aB7PIh
看不見，罷。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgy5k0VBwci
天黑，下班。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8iSr2PvEF
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFh4UOvm9y
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSUQ2cu5XW
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dkI9YS6qL
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaE7dtqSbN
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpM52cOTZz
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47X3UNcSEq
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvphM8TrFg
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3E9wtyt2N
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3qT0gqTnE
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLslwCBXQ1f
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Tvb7RFbrc
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFAlY3eQHJ
公司，午飯時間。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYyf3idM9f
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGF34s3gba
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqgzePBmBD
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZA00pnR1nH
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDM0gGc5r4e
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgKnj7i6Ik
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC17NHFkWBO
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFMvwNiIUL
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNW1QfJot2
還是……207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHv3nJ2fdDW
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9C9mvhbMk
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscVUTck8Yy
公司，工作。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtylaShUXiP
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSd4IEB0EL
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnvVyyaToL
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUId4NpYtd
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeunVfi7UF
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4yS8boCjR
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Mf5t57NrZ
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGCWpccLaN
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecCOl02wwP
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYiaOVq04u
快意，笑了。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJru98tU5e
酒吧，喝酒。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf95QiOlOYB
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6uN1yaoeP
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bkwYQFyNC
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLZPkzLbiS
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXm9Ajlq4ZS
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfxcaPaUDg
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8pRdy1x3O
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PRNPOcM2P
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnqgq4tFT6
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaubMkg6F76
醉倒。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4mV1BFwAE
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDURt4KLxpG
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyVqmCjqeF
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR834adRu9J
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jJGeg9K6B
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8NT0FlkgC
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBceIQOPBGb
假期，醫院。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBtfeT5RTU
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uQHYOPuxO
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ap39Pyb9J
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDZQCcklr4
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3bH8RWjLJ
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpEgGoTSXl
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7HHMr70f1
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkfL5dYG8b
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYQTQnctos
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8A11zd1Dzw
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXqn8K4a3d
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyp6FlGXXf
死寂。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUkmY1NZ9K
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6AS0MlI4J
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH53xmjfElX
回家，晚飯。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHQHOedxAe
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJMC0TDXoe
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkxWmeGph4
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriIVIyM6oT
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsoVBIMcdG
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4izBeoWZwF
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrevp1ZqOmg
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2YE5INtxY
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ504tDpYMKe
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjlRc4Km9k
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwcFHzSWGQ
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kVxUhh4iE
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2v1WZsDXk
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgb0Q7WYRa
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZB0UFpr4Gv
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTVjWXtRt0
男友家，床上。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxW2NAksnQU
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSDmvllXMS
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKTXwO0eiL
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj47bPFCqZa
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQkXPmDmUq
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdQRq3pCXJ
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XxqdbUFNS
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58YyOAWzaY
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0kqu27Rzz
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRLDZ6Bkw8
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVxIyVJk6Q
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZbY5KFMHv
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLJtJ8x54p
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvBl32ND5v
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47Odj4TBiU
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUipAt7Cbe
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDu3qeEVO2H
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RlmHqMrRN
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtB9fQNtGPa
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzz0MeNir5t
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6XgUzuCQI
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhFBqyFWOc
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOst0dApzPp
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu66mmMwyki
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBuCPttop1
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAbZ7Y2Gb9
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEzi7BJZmE
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkFv3Hp10H
「在你體內。」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bQhUaYznk
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMXA2zAZ0T
「甚麼？」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYc9aZkz70A
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAE9ssSSpNT
「蟻。」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JfT0NXH2D
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCa0PuWc0ro
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVrRwv1cAk
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtoCrZpa68
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNRtTvofWx
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDFcsFKvOS
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVyqpMD5qR
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmY6HSWyXK
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAROK7GSBqE
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyL0UgNHP5K
「誰？」另一聲音反問。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqC0H5F43ow
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpfQObe112
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVGd3hruxG
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCr9ufCxtj9
靜。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVCHGluz3J
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqotwVbZk9E
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOKr6d6Hz8
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXBS15DJT2
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Xfs5rptfs
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNTzBpqMCV
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKm3fUwGNrc
我：「我有精神病？」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEXABRbBTR
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3tM9ImQ5E
醫：「是情緒病。」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tvbhgaDKG
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYbBt5nC8f
我：「怎麼辦？」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0XdVxgOOs
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyuAU9ViTd
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxisiVlmPK
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhhdkdvsPz
我：「謝謝醫生。」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcqEdCotUX
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29dINpeNOA
醫：「不用謝。」207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKUpyHPzo4
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KHrFL4z5z
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsswnMRDFvG
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABZu5N7ZHk
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVyJyQagCk
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8nKnqfEfE
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMY2y5xoDqN
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu22M8xYYcl
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAA1XCznpkM
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcU965B67F
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKt9lqNC2D8
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQ2BcbXG0M
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsg4jGUTT9
……207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG580uijU0o
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpogJ1PE5xB
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWu7xwYfy4u
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxXUZswlZt
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規，煩請創挑主通知，願刪文。207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLsO2m1nvI
