「唔記得就算啦,但你記唔記得我地應承過童女要好好做人?」403Please respect copyright.PENANAAr11T9kTyr
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「真係無啵。你會唔會認錯人架?」我和客人來到後閘,往日見靈車出入才有開閘,今次卻留了道閘縫讓我們入,客人此時似乎很識路,我們靠住牆行,他蒙住頭都能夠在後面提我轉左轉右,要從哪道門入他毫不猶豫。403Please respect copyright.PENANAeYljy74fM6
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啷啷聲在無旁人的走廊中迴響,我們兩人都心境平靜,絕無趕住投胎意思。403Please respect copyright.PENANAuBqA9XBzBh
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「嘿!算啦算啦。」客人問多兩問,見我十問九唔知,就放棄俾提示:「你乜都唔記得咪幾好,至少呢八九年可以活得得自由自在,今日我地六個都要交成績表嚕,仲講返考試都無乜用,當我無提過啦。」403Please respect copyright.PENANAyR2qlTDoxf
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我真是亳無頭緒,不知道交成績表是甚麼意思,但我下一分鐘就見識到了。403Please respect copyright.PENANADUP6Hd4KEd
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在下一個轉角,一對男女企定定等住我們,男的年約二十,冷帽眼鏡文青背心,手中拎住一根竹筷子,低調握在垂下的手中,至於女的其實是一個小妺妺,粉紅T-Shirt短褲波鞋,眼仔大大,正定睛望住我腰間的鈴鐺。403Please respect copyright.PENANAXofcdEFkEU
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這時男的貼住右邊牆企,女的則貼住左邊,我沒路過唯有停步。鈴鐺沒有發響,客人立即也就停下腳步。「應該未到架喎哥仔。」客人催促。403Please respect copyright.PENANAhOCGtkxfTz
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「你最好除低膠袋先,有人擋住咗兩邊牆。」我解釋,於是客人立即鬆開頭上膠袋,揭起探視,他一認到擋路男女的外貌,立即展現恭敬點頭打招呼,一手把膠袋除下塞入褲袋,又整理著衣領。403Please respect copyright.PENANA6agUucCk17
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「兩位佛爺,好耐無見。」客人點頭道。403Please respect copyright.PENANAgd1wIWliMw
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「千祈咪叫我佛爺,我Christian嚟架。」男人耍手兼擰頭,「叫我Raydon就得。你之前係唐樓天檯都見過我,果陣你地全部用個鐵盆養住,條條香魚都黑咪鼆,我就認唔出你地係邊個打邊個啦,但你仲認唔認得我?我果陣跟過Tina上嚟餵你地。」403Please respect copyright.PENANAPqPOrACl8o
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「記得!你話想重新讀返個腦外科,話心師始終做翻醫生開腦最拿手。」403Please respect copyright.PENANAKfN2SElYOA
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「哈哈,你果時個魚仔腦又記性幾好!今日我係嚟幫Tina手,唔洗對我太客氣架啦,好唔好人都好,Tina佢會做判斷。」403Please respect copyright.PENANAX70ytpteqa
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這時原來叫Tina的小妺妺開始插嘴:「呢世做人好唔好玩啊?」403Please respect copyright.PENANAvmaU32Npsv
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客人苦笑:「做香港人唔好玩,不過都好過做條魚。」403Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZRzMp8IAy
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「嗱,一陣檢查吓你有無乖乖地做好人啦!你地應承過我大過咗唔會好似Mandy咁黑心,我先俾你地用Mandy個身體嘅。」小妺妺說。403Please respect copyright.PENANACRQHc7XPMl
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「知道知道,但合格唔合格分別會點?」403Please respect copyright.PENANATBm8mgICRj
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「滿意就俾你走,麻麻地就還返你俾Mandy,最多咪做返條魚要等過囉,我同長庚搬咗去英國,你可以試下做炸魚薯條。」403Please respect copyright.PENANAOuxDdiir3v
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「炸魚薯條咁油膩,塞血管啊。」Raydon掩嘴笑住講。「嘻嘻!對唔住!讀正呢範有職業病。」403Please respect copyright.PENANAqARs4ucgRM
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「唔識野!長庾煮西餐都好好食架!」小妺妺一臉不忿。「最多我咪幫你成條血脂拎返出嚟,好閒啫!」403Please respect copyright.PENANAptpWS07sub
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看住三人談笑風生,我完全被排除在外,我衰在聽不懂,那就劖不到歌柄。403Please respect copyright.PENANAyqr8BKiqHX
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然後Raydon舉起筷子,開始像個喃嘸佬咦吚哦哦。403Please respect copyright.PENANAxn4BRgCNZO
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「唉,每次聽到尷尬。」小妹妹用手指塞住耳仔。403Please respect copyright.PENANAIcU6LeQmoE
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「跟返傳統做法啫,尊重返!」Raydon又開始唸唸有詞,接著將筷子敲打在客人的額頭上,一下一下,就像和尚敲木魚,這時我聽出了四句半偈:「⋯⋯靈台鎖開見青天,不畏人知畏心師,平生不做虧心事,半夜敲門也不驚,也不驚!」403Please respect copyright.PENANAaeYeEcYsE4
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Raydon話口未完,客人的額頭就發出「卟」一聲,不知從哪彈出了兩扇閉上的紅漆小門封在眉心,Raydon口咬筷子,然後小心翼翼用食指拇指揭開小門,再用留了指甲的尾指伸入客人腦殼,勾出一圈紅線來,掛在口咬住的筷子一邊頭,咬牙拉拉鬆鬆,尾指又勾多幾條線繩纏在筷子頭尾,像是在解繩結。403Please respect copyright.PENANAw21DDP9ROV
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「Raydon哥你幾好嘢,一啲都唔痛喎!」客人笑說,我見客人在遇到這對神秘男女後就頻頻做表情,半邊下巴肉都快要脫落了,吊吊揈好驚嚇,難怪師傅勸他遮住塊面唔好嚇親人。403Please respect copyright.PENANA4SHD9TwISp
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Raydon解繩解到一頭大汗,口又咬住筷子講嘢唔清,我大約聽到他講笑推搪,叫還叫唔好加個哥字。403Please respect copyright.PENANA5GzfytazvN
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這時小妹妹又幫口解答:「你實係唔痛啦!心師以前都係魚師嚟,不過佢哋最識得解人腦,後來先分咗家啫。」403Please respect copyright.PENANAo8DH4yvSZq
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心師?魚師?我聽都未聽過,你地有無聽過?