497Please respect copyright.PENANAfdKdEgjVhQ
××××××××××××××××
Die-hard fan
××××××××××××××××
🔸Yes I am extremely tired and sore from working all day but I feel at ease the moment I see your smile🔸
×××××××××××××××××××××××××
Crystal Valerie Beck
××××××××××××××××××××××××××
I sighed loudly as my account balance appeared on my phone screen. Why is it always crying? Well, at least it's not negative. My financial situation is a perpetual rollercoaster. I scrape by until the end of the month when I get paid for tutoring some overly spoiled kids. But by the seventh day of the month, it all vanishes into thin air.
497Please respect copyright.PENANALC8Cg64cdd
As much as I'd love to ask my mom for money, it's not one of those 'extremely important' things she'd willingly part with her cash for. Besides, she's an overly brainy woman who can't be easily fooled.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAlRtDiEKoky
The money from the cafe? That's strictly for my school funds. No touching.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAVTg7eJ9hpe
I pressed the home button, launching Candy Crush. Why is this bus taking forever?
497Please respect copyright.PENANA8ZhUQJD0sd
"Everything is going to be alright," the frail-looking woman beside me said, her eyes filled with reassurance. Why did she say that? I never mentioned any problems.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAZLUmLfWRbV
Sure, I have problems, but I didn't spill my life story to her.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAaBSVWsbKEG
I was confused but managed a smile. "Do you need money?" she asked, her kind eyes searching mine.497Please respect copyright.PENANA07li5V7ab8
497Please respect copyright.PENANAG1OMBaoJyd
Will she give me money if I said I needed it? Maybe she is my rich Samaritan. Delusions of grandeur, I know.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAOSopgGVdHP
Is this how my prayers will be answered? God, finally!
497Please respect copyright.PENANAhfQpfJAP7K
I nodded at her, still smiling. "One would have known with the way you sighed," she said, and I realized I'd sighed loudly. Oops.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAKla9m9wlg8
"It was for another..." I began, but the bus arrived, cutting me off. "The bus is here," she said, rushing toward it. Great timing, bus. You could've been two minutes earlier and spared me the awkwardness of admitting I needed money to a complete stranger, with a freak smile plastered on my face.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAj8utLHqq2Z
Should I take this bus or wait for the next one? Waiting will take forever.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAnXZFoXOQ5n
Even if this encounter meant nothing, it was utterly embarrassing. I'm the kind of person who overthinks and misjudges practically every situation. Facing her again? Not on my wish list-even if she turned out to be my rich Samaritan.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAicnvVL6Mx8
Do I imagine my rich Samaritan taking the same bus as me? Yes.
497Please respect copyright.PENANA3vtnyxKtgx
Am I dumb?
497Please respect copyright.PENANA7iOVmr3QCN
Also yes.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAxDpGnvgWYA
But let's keep that between us, shall we?
497Please respect copyright.PENANAUQ4UkSuA05
Truth is, I needed money. But what for? It's not something I'd proudly announce to the world. There are certain group of people-kindred spirits-who'd get it. People who thinks like me.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAuICJ1QAOEt
Nevertheless, I boarded the bus. The woman waved at me, making hand gestures for me to come to her
497Please respect copyright.PENANAo6ge8Fz9Fn
She must think I'm her long-lost friend. I smiled and took the seat beside her. Sure, there were plenty of empty spots by the window, but she was too nice to ignore. Plus, I've got this weird inability to ignore people. It's like my social filter is constantly malfunctioning.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAXd7ryXb0CB
Now, here's the thing: I hope she doesn't pull a classic mom move. You know the drill-ask a stranger if they needed money, pray, look pitiful, and maybe even invite them over for a home-cooked meal.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAAD5O08eTvB
Been there, done that.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAkVSiNstWlr
But this lady? She's an enigma. No probing questions, no judgment. Just a serene expression and a nap.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAq7t6EfHUDw
Maybe she's different. Maybe she isn't my mum's long lost twin
497Please respect copyright.PENANA7mWmiBxkF6
I just hope my mum won't bring home a weirdo or a serial killer some day
497Please respect copyright.PENANADQKLtbSvpz
I think this nice woman here is just a kind soul who believes in silent acts of kindness. Or maybe I'm reading too much into this. Either way, I decided not to bid her farewell when my stop arrived.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAtgKbO9YmPy
Finally away from people
497Please respect copyright.PENANAaQGrxH16Sa
My house is a bit of a trek from here
497Please respect copyright.PENANAaIPR4JePK2
🔸🔸🔸🔸
My breathing is labored, as if I've just sprinted a marathon. And in a way, I have - I made it home in record time, arriving at my doorstep a mere fifteen minutes later.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAzu3PYTESWt
I knocked repeatedly, but there was no answer. Unusual, yet somehow expected. I tend to worry about everything, it's just my nature.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAyIQdp8rjDd
Sighing, I retrieved the spare key from under the flower pot, half-expecting to catch someone lurking with a camera behind the blooms.
497Please respect copyright.PENANA9WqLDCl0r6
Of course that is very much possible, I am a star you see or It's probably just my overactive imagination - I'm a bit of a daydreamer, always striving for that confident, main character energy.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAnwuUkl9Ft3
A delulu in simple English
497Please respect copyright.PENANAbnRwRajToZ
"Why are you home so early?" I questioned my brother, annoyed that I had to let myself in.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAGUlwLu5fQj
"You don't like when I'm here," he retorted. I decided to ignore him, saving my energy for more important matters.
497Please respect copyright.PENANA2PjmiEYHjd
Bounding upstairs, I made sure to lock my door, determined not to be disturbed during this critical moment. I set up my laptop and snacks, ready to fully immerse myself in Alex's live stream. If he finishes up quickly, I might even catch Tae Mu's broadcast too - though they really should coordinate their schedules, there are so many of us who follow them both.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAg7otHUWZKS
"Oh, babe!" I squealed as Alex appears on screen. That man is just impossibly attractive, it hardly seemed fair.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAU1WmRWNgdC
Lying on my bed, I fixed my eyes on the laptop, ready to soak up every second of Alex's live session. This is my little oasis, my slice of happiness in the chaos.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAbVR47VPu9a
"안녕하세요 여러분, 잘 지내세요? {hi everyone, how are you}" my heart melted immediately I heard Alex's voice, I mean literally melted
497Please respect copyright.PENANAcXqfNB7enc
There is this satisfaction that comes with listening to him talk or sing
497Please respect copyright.PENANAFD78g69SHk
I watched comments float on the screen, I was glad people appreciated him as much as I did, but no matter how many people like you there are some mother fuckers who just hate you for no reason
497Please respect copyright.PENANASJc9YWH2C6
You should die
497Please respect copyright.PENANAplezvaov5W
The comment said and I immediately replied
497Please respect copyright.PENANAqutGNBmwYD
You can take his place
497Please respect copyright.PENANARS2AnpLVuf
I sent the comment with so much enthusiasm
497Please respect copyright.PENANAZ7GSDmjAAL
Truth be told, I wasn't always so invested in watching Alex's live streams. It started one day when I tuned in and saw a flood of comments that were just plain stupid and inhumane. It was as if they were all directed at me, and it pissed me off and really hurt. Imagine how the person it was aimed at must have felt.
497Please respect copyright.PENANA462fm9FP6X
Since then, I've made it my mission to reply to anyone making insensitive comments about Alex or the other Idols I follow. There's just no point in needlessly hurting others' feelings. If you don't find comfort or pleasure in what someone is doing, the kind thing is to simply not pay attention, not lash out.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAOPQrq7GWk0
You sing trash
497Please respect copyright.PENANAj6ofOO6DXa
I may be a bit of a daydreamer, but I've learned that real confidence comes from treating people with empathy and respect - something I wished more of Alex's viewers would learn. Now, when I tune in, I'm not just there to soak up every second. I'm also on the lookout, ready to defend my idols from cruel, thoughtless remarks. Everyone deserves to feel safe and supported in their creative pursuits.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAkWjjHJfZ6T
Your life is trash
497Please respect copyright.PENANAgtSERFdhQ9
I commented immediately making sure to @ the commenter
497Please respect copyright.PENANAEsRGiip1a5
The routine continues, a mix of supportive and cruel comments
497Please respect copyright.PENANAZhBy2WmloD
I was getting a little thirsty, so I reached for one of the many water bottles I keep by my bedside. But they're all empty, clinking together as I move them. I groan in annoyance at myself for not refilling them earlier. I always made sure to have two or three bottles within reach since I drink so much water.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAdvSfHOUl4G
Of course, I don't just stick to water, don't think I'm some health freak or something
497Please respect copyright.PENANA1wMyaOoE1N
I balance it out with some Pepsi too. It's my secret formula for staying hydrated and caffeinated at the same time. A delicate dance, really.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAty1WjWiYXN
Quickly, I rushed downstairs, trying not to trip in the dark. Our house had this unspoken rule that everyone follows - whenever you leave a room, you leave the lights off. It was kind of scary at first, but now I do it without even thinking. The living room is always pitch black unless someone's in there.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAsD17ZuDj9D
I grabbed three fresh water bottles and hurried back to my room. I'm already a few minutes late getting back. Eagerly, I jumped back onto my bed, ready to immerse myself in Alex's live stream once more.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAFcaXA4qR4T
"So you guys should just write your name and your age on the coupon and try your luck out to win." Wait, what? I furrowed my brow, frustrated that I missed the important part while I was downstairs. Why did he have to get to the good stuff only after I stepped away?
497Please respect copyright.PENANAaqSCyUqI6f
Settling in, I refocus my attention on the screen, determined not to miss anything else.
497Please respect copyright.PENANArbDOJKnK9j
I went to get water for like what? Five minutes and you already got to the good part, come on....
497Please respect copyright.PENANAcEYZBYBecI
I typed frantically, hoping he'll see it or something. He has never replied to my comments before, no matter how much I type or how fast I am. I was the first person to be on his live one time, and he didn't even notice me.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAujzuNjiHmh
If I didn't know Alex was generally a sweet and kind person, I'd be tempted to think he ignored me on purpose. But the truth is, I'm sure he doesn't even know I exist. I just haven't gotten lucky enough to be replied to by any of the idols I follow.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAvPdAwcitW5
Still, I continued listening intently to Alex's live stream, even though I didn't fully understand what he was talking about anymore. The chat scrolled by rapidly, and I felt lost in the sea of usernames.
497Please respect copyright.PENANArDuFV8qpss
"I am just discussing a coupon that could lead to a lucky winner receiving a surprise gift. We're all eagerly waiting to see what it might be, I have no idea what it would be, or do I?" Alex says, raising his eyebrow mischievously. "So, you simply need to write your name, username, and age, and then wait for the announcement on Wednesday." Do he actually reply to me or was it just one of my imaginations again
497Please respect copyright.PENANAZCIKCsLbLg
I quickly typed out a thank you for his response, to which he replies, "천만에요 {you're welcome}," with a kind smile. I can't believe he actually acknowledged me!
497Please respect copyright.PENANA5hUQjS6awN
Not once but twice in one day?
497Please respect copyright.PENANAC26rYOBjqz
I'm still a bit in awe, but I continue listening intently, no longer feeling lost.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAuRye95odqX
Although he was smiling at the screen, it felt like his gaze was directed at me. I can't believe it; he has responded to me twice in one day. Maybe things are finally looking up for me.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAf3LgfJBtOd
"Would you guys like me to do a mukbang video?" Alex asked after scanning through the comments. 'OMG yes,' I typed eagerly, thrilled at the possibility. "I'm going to ask Min ho hyung about it, 우리는 함께 할 수 있었다 {we could do it together}," he replies, giving a thumbs up.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAL2i4fTwEd5
He is so incredibly charming; it is enough to make my heart flutter. I can't help but feel like his words and gestures are meant just for me, even though I know logically that he's addressing his entire audience.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAimEsdlfIg7
"Thanks for all your support, guys. I love you all so much. Until next time, 안녕 얘들아 {bye, guys}," he waves at the screen, and I instinctively wave back, as if he could see me.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAu7w4mSUYUw
I tried to catch Tae Mu's live streams too, but I only caught the tail end. He also mentioned the coupon. My routine was always the same with every idol I follow; I respond to the haters, defending my beloved creators.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAyoBlKnZmzT
I only follow two groups with this much enthusiasm, but it is enough to make it all worthwhile. The joy I feel when they are happy, even in the smallest way, is indescribable. It's like they've reached through the screen and touched my heart directly.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAYSMzyNmydU
I know I'm just one fan among millions, but in those fleeting moments, it feels like they see me. And that's all I need to keep coming back, to keep supporting them with everything I have.
497Please respect copyright.PENANA3861JRl1s9
🔸🔸🔸🔸
Sometimes, I wake up in the dead of night and find myself lost in thought. I mentioned it to my doctor, and he attributed it to my anxiety.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAfvVUNi3zWf
Most nights, I lie awake, staring at the drawings on my wall until sleep finally overtakes me. But tonight feels different; I am restless, tossing and turning until I find a comfortable position on my side. I gaze at a picture of my father, holding me close while my brother sits on his shoulders. This is the father I adored, the one who cared for us.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAhM1ri3gsZm
But then everything changed. He becomes a different person, turning to alcohol and abusing Mum and Timothy.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAC3dO2Lhrtp
We hoped it will stop, especially when he sobers up and shows signs of remorse. He never really apologized, but he buys things for the house, his way of making amends. I only had a reliable father figure until I was six; after that, it all went downhill.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAfHe6yxd3wX
Music became my solace, a means of escaping reality. I started with Western tunes but eventually found refuge in the world of K-pop.
497Please respect copyright.PENANAFFnxDuJLVd
I watch dramas, shedding tears during the sad scenes, convincing myself that it is the storyline affecting me, not the similar turmoil in my own life.
ns216.73.216.65da2