我是季妍，出版界筆耕多年的小小插畫家一枚。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgJpiTthSP
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlvElbcUtr
我熱愛我的工作，作畫迅速從不拖稿的我，筆耕之餘還在家裡開了繪畫教室騙騙小朋友，幾年下來，事業小成的我有了幾個足以讓我膨脹的稱號---出版界稱我“季快手”，學生叫我季老師…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalSv6n61fY
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7idugRuTIw
但，這些，都不及我另一個稱號來得“響亮”。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRyNBPkjGj
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEti37PyiB
這個稱號是婆婆取的，她叫我~~“無~蛋~雞”~~~499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOCMruQo9n
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSN09mp0p7
是的，你沒聽錯，因為在她眼中，我就是隻生不出蛋的老母雞。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaTcSyn5lN
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLu6gbIIom
也許是怕我日子太無聊了吧，老天爺給了我一個全世界最棒的老公，卻又買一送一的附贈了個機車婆婆，結婚三年來，生不出半顆蛋的我早已被她嫌到十八層地獄，偏偏她老人家想盡辦法就是無法把我從“楊昕然老婆”的位置踢下來，因為她兒子超疼老婆…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3K0UBOAuuK
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAG0ZaRelCC
呵~~~你看她煩不煩哪！499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkuw3uUEUD
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwmvbY4muy
媳婦的肚子沒動靜，兒子又越來越“老”（明明才32歲），眼看楊家就要斷子絕孫了，婆婆的焦慮越來越嚴重，於是她開始檢討我敷不出蛋的可能原因……499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyvqNq4XtR
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6NwU12GdV
吃冰、吹冷氣……好，我改。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUr55t0JQX8
熬夜……對，我的錯。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rTeCFSvcQ
使用便宜水彩顏料……便宜？一盒幾千499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpIBw0UUXq
的“林布蘭特”？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyvLKyMhnK
呼吸的空氣有毒……好吧，我可以不呼499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJ9umwkII7
吸了……499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjEXomTeyJ
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqp3Vv7EG3
總而言之，親愛的婆婆把所有生不出孩子的原因都歸到我身上，偏偏怪東怪西就是不怪她兒子…有一次她親愛的兒子終於看不下去了…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyKF8IJWeQ
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwld3iQ2YGB
「搞不好是我的精子有問題啊」，楊昕然先生說。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3ylL9Dznb
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdzPXy9TSF
「胡說，我們楊家的精子怎麼會有問題」，婆婆嚴厲否認。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaVs26eQRe
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvuAb2AV5k
噢，對了，說到精子，我老公是窩在手機堆裡寫APP程式的程式設計師。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvJWHYycKk
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOeODD1Cuf
所以他的精子“絕對”沒問題。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7FpvGbVro
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLrUeBRLlG
唉~寶貝兒子沒有錯，生不出蛋的媳婦趕不走，婆婆的日子簡直沒法過了。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIjxvhhacu
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQawMSjZ5B
怎麼辦？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErZ328fPqc
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3LqJDovMJ
能怎麼辦？…只好叫媳婦多多“努力”囉！499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSL7SdPF8yU
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYbhjBL9Nr
於是，親愛的婆婆天天督促我，天天督促我，電台賣的成藥我當飯吃、全臺灣的乩童都成了婆婆的FB好友，對婆婆來說，乩童的話就是聖旨，乩童叫我做什麼我都得照做……為此我吞了香灰、喝了符水、嚐遍了你想像不到的噁心東西…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJjWNP4DGf
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDvspq0zjy
但，這麼“乖巧”的我，那天還是爆發了…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8IDs4elhZ
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQyPgOM7lm
因為婆婆叫我去跪“她娘家”的祖先！499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTwrTlWqfM
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQADia3FmW
「為什麼我得去跪妳媽的（ps:這不是髒話）祖先」？…我心頭一驚。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTv9mlwsjP
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7Q3paM2gI
「大師說妳祖先得罪我娘家祖先，所以祖先不要妳的種」，婆婆舒適的窩在客廳沙發上削著我剛買回來的西洋梨，「除非你向我娘家祖先下跪道歉，不然」…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2SIGJb6G4
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3OkBU6pcC
「下跪道歉」？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TEdMRgVvH
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqxQ5N6byO
「沒錯」，婆婆繼續削梨子，「所以明天妳跟我回」…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWhmMGfiNA
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPtnEXlWI9
「~！…、☆○＞□＾」…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIFuflXsQh
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZ099aVMz3
不知是不是方才喝的水果啤酒太上頭了，明明早已對婆婆的刻薄言語“免疫”的我，竟然被區區幾句話惹火了，於是，當婆婆終於消滅了難纏的梨子皮，準備享受她的勞動成果…的前一秒，我突然伸手搶走她的梨子…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFvM6Uvld0
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gTu2coBvq
「接下來還有什麼」？我紅著眼問。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdbfkru9ql
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmBCBfE2xT
「蛤」？這是我嫁入楊家以來第一次對婆婆發飆，可能是不習慣這樣的我吧，婆婆完全愣住了。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcJthP1Rfw
　　499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5M1xxShFRZ
「我說…接下來妳還要怎麼“玩”我」？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3z6uZ2v9OJ
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCCCsqfI6k
「什麼“玩”妳」？婆婆盯著被我搶走的梨子，一臉的莫名，「我還不是為妳好」…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnJ8eRaXf5
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ay54tWvpn
「為我好」？我氣笑了，「原來逼我喝符水吃香灰吃到拉肚子是為我好」…我咬牙切齒的用梨子指著婆婆…的鼻子，「摸摸良心吧！如果今天安然生不出來妳會這樣對她嗎」？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kFoBXlzMX
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYM3FSpDBQ
PS:楊安然---昕然的妹妹，某私立大學夜間部學生，楊家的寶貝，也是婆婆絕不能踩的大地雷…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvt4BXBQUI2
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXq6wrFPtPn
但此刻氣瘋的我竟然踩下去了！499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHyrR1vzF7
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DgMxUjFqH
「妳…妳這隻無蛋雞」！婆婆果不其然的…炸了，她憤然站起，把我手中的梨子搶去狠砸在地，「妳敢詛咒我女兒跟妳一樣沒蛋！妳…妳給我滾出去」！499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSd25YCcUek
　　499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQuwExRqW6
「為什麼我要滾」？我叉腰繼續做死，「這裡是我家耶」！499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6Id3LC52z
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwimsEQRO2
是的，這間位於碧潭河畔三房一廳的小屋是我和老公浪漫的家，我的婆家“遠”在五十公尺外，但我忘了婆婆是老公最親愛的老媽，更忘了婆婆是個多麼愛演的老太太。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXSYR6L4uU
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCjhQNJzUk
「妳…」…罵著罵著，婆婆竟然一屁股坐在地上嚎啕大哭起來~「嗚嗚~~我是造了什麼孽啊！年輕的時候為楊家做牛做馬，好不容易當了婆婆，還要被媳婦糟蹋」…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEevseoPufA
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnaXQYEBNe
「媽」…唉…又來了…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnqC3f5GRh
　　499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWTN3haPDq
我無奈的揉揉眉心，一邊讚嘆婆婆的“演技”，只是……這裡只有我和婆婆，她能演給誰看？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBKhwrzqN7
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdjF0n6jlg
咦…不對……499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxN68G3v8m
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我看了看電視上方的大圓鐘…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVb2Vfi5qDw
　　499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3e8DD7GXpD
呵…果然…老公接安然放學快到家了。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37VEgYeNnq
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa658FXDcHX
「我的命怎麼這麼苦啊…嗚嗚嗚」…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3yfDOez3x
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WOTvSHeDY
我無奈的看著眼前演得興起的婆婆，孝順的兒女快回來了，而苦命的母親還坐在地板上哭天搶地，可想而知，幾分鐘後這個家會有多“熱鬧”。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLh61xexXVp
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yUiRLSXZI
「唉」…我忍不住歎氣…唉…又是這樣…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtq4AHPUy6
　　499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOnTTbI2Jh
我很清楚如何避免即將到來的衝突…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdV3cd0EGP
　　499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrMlj7KCm0
不就是答應去跟“她媽的”祖先下跪道歉嗎？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjmNgjyker
　　499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hcW1OST1W
下跪，簡單，但接下來呢？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpy7xM0w2kG
　　499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWdvWK0WM1
只要我變不出孩子，婆婆永遠有新的花招等著我…499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSryJva1Dw
　　499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9Ta6vnpuT
我已經陪婆婆玩兩年了，這樣的日子我還得熬多久？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkMwmXGFTD
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNglDZRnBj
　　　　我 受 夠 了！！！499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8d6QAjHeJj
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYk0HpC5Jra
「妳慢慢哭吧」，婆婆的哭聲幾乎穿透了天際，但我已經不在乎了…在一片空白的思緒中，我恍惚的握住了大門門把…「我~~不幹了」！499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQpbrLHM1R
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2l4G3c1Mqw
“ 砰”！！~~的一聲…婆婆的哭嚎聲被留在了門後。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqNb8SYdyu
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrUC2mkq9R
我走出門外，迎接我的是愁煞人的秋雨，十月的碧潭剛迎來入秋第一道寒流，冰冷的雨絲一根根扎入我毫無防護的雙臂，我知道我該回頭，但我無路可退。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3crs9Sf83c
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjlhrM8nWC
退不得，那就跑吧！499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hsmV7evd6
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1eAAsmxeJ
於是我開始拼命奔跑、拼命奔跑……499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡck2h5OtWTH
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWWQM30yFz
萬萬想不到，這一跑，竟跑出了我的第一個孩子，還有那短暫卻一生難忘的姐妹情誼……499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFC90a0HotL
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTGEqPKc2H
這是一個很短、很短的故事，如果您允許的話，請容我用旁觀者的角度，向您娓娓道來吧。