隔天夜裡，風從窗縫鑽進來。房間裡很安靜，只有鍵盤偶爾的敲擊聲。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZ7Qni1kNl
賴夏陽正坐在書桌前看著模擬考解答，眼神有些恍惚。他揉了揉太陽穴，覺得最近頭老是痛，胸口也悶得很。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOmvhuxRdS
「應該只是太累了吧……」他低聲說，拿起水杯灌了一口。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawGUvzxRhZ
但下一秒，他突然開始猛烈地咳嗽——
一聲接著一聲，喉嚨像被火燒一樣難受。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTqT4Guikm
他急忙起身想去廁所，卻沒走兩步就扶著牆滑坐下來。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjITYeA1BVk
咳嗽沒有停，他的手掌按住嘴，卻感覺到一陣濕潤的黏膩。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6TlJ6cmlJ
當他看見掌心那一抹鮮紅時，整個人都愣住了。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaiuQjOPdU
那不是鼻血——
是血，從喉嚨咳出來的。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErDflUa2u1
—
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6xEqlJP3M
他沒有馬上驚慌，只是安靜地坐在地上，看著那血跡發了一會兒呆。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVrhm2zDEs
「……怎麼會這樣？」
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JAw9gWUH2
他的聲音幾乎聽不見。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDFx3YK0r7
幾分鐘後，他勉強起身，洗掉手上的血，換了件衣服，悄悄出門。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZVPCEFd9G
沒有跟任何人說。
他只是覺得，不能再拖了。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfO82phxuxY
這件事，他必須一個人知道答案。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuAbGK4ay3
醫院的空氣聞起來總是混著消毒水味道，冷冷的，有點刺鼻。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnoMeUgAWc
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwJKKCcnIj
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6t9ld06uh
賴夏陽拿著掛號單，坐在等候區的角落，帽子壓得低低的，背包放在腳邊。他左手插著口袋，右手握著手機，螢幕亮著，但他根本沒在看。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaINaCu0eO
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zlgRGSVhL
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOquGsx8bd2
他沒告訴任何人。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cpndsN37j
不是不信任，只是——不想讓別人擔心。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZw36BGyCQ
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEnfvw7fQj
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutX8WSyekn
「賴夏陽先生，請進診間三。」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoe3WvuGpg
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPXu43DhXM
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TShXfuGsE
他站起來，深吸一口氣，走進診間。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWf1fLyVfZW
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4wAWQR9dk
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbuVqURucB
—13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9lLmKL4mE
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdn8DdhT6FQ
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8weH9FZvLm
醫生是個中年男人，戴著眼鏡，臉上表情一如既往的冷靜與專業。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7bMK21MRO
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYVUCelWXT
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwdqQSMvMM
他看著報告，看了很久。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpjXDisC6U
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdI48GtrGS
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8AofLLY0u
「你的影像資料我們已經仔細判讀過了。」醫生說，聲音平靜卻緩慢，「目前來看，肺部的異常陰影已經明顯擴散，我們懷疑是惡性腫瘤。」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB4AT1n9vY
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjshNyGlrju
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzpBdUVg7s
賴夏陽一時間沒有反應。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSelTFchtYD
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxWcKtLhGz
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjb9WdoP95
他甚至下意識笑了一下：「惡性……什麼？」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHKKyz6vv3
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1Z8RdpDWn
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJhpN9gXVS
「肺腺癌，第三期偏晚。建議你盡快安排更進一步的切片與全身檢查，並與家屬討論治療方向，後天再來做一次檢查。」醫生說完這句，才抬起頭看著他：「你今天是一個人來的？」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTSixwMTpC
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAagXmibMII
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeKKeCJQGp
「嗯……我爸媽都在外地工作，不方便過來。」他語氣輕鬆，但指尖抓緊了背包的拉鍊。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtLWNDtYZP
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6ZMNgOFm4
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRChUu5Mat
「這不是小病，孩子。」醫生的語氣比剛才溫柔了些，「如果你信得過我，我們會陪你走下一步，但你要讓身邊的人知道。」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBbK8cnuw0
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OljDKFmeQ
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qROa1ruG4
夏陽笑了笑：「我知道了。謝謝你。」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43qkY0fBOK
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzrUSy1SNd
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlVFDZ3yUe
—13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKceYXR02Yk
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvq4PFb57jl
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tPdeZkooG
走出醫院那一刻，陽光很強。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7e1WSwYLds
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Z8tn8QBD0
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDR7EOAKG1
他站在門口的陰影下，低頭看著手裡那份檢查報告。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2SZ0IVvnw
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9jobOh2BE
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8yCoJ0JOc
手有一點抖。他不記得自己最後一次怕成這樣是什麼時候——是國小第一次騎腳踏車摔倒？還是那次父母吵架，把家裡東西摔得亂七八糟？13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6Y7ZrnPWh
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydr7JOOnEq
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUC0yGdkpk
都不是。這種感覺更孤單。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQOjbOLiIf
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QGxE4GTBq
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvwxrjYWSo
他把報告折起來，收進背包最底層。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdE1NNmk9Z3
接著掏出手機，給冬月傳了一則訊息：13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzU6BbOARul
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4HOjPZtlQ
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfxmItOhlI
【等等要不要吃甜不辣？我今天嘴巴很饞。】13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65G1pjiba3
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FfqtxhiWz
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwexeGNs4D
螢幕亮起時，心裡的某個東西也默默碎了一小塊。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXyPFuipDi
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXstZ5DY3g
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawlkK1hItt
但他的語氣，還是一如往常的陽光。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqbjt1vnHj
這天，醫院裡沒什麼人，窗外陰雲低壓，像雨快要落下。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrspmRVKyd
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1forVG3883
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkArMxvAeOV
賴夏陽坐在診間外，一隻手撐著額頭，一隻手握著手機，螢幕停在一張和陳冬月的合照。照片裡她笑得很甜，笑眼彎彎，而他就在旁邊笑著看她。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugziforf3S
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n98ur8mCy
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rz3O06W1v
診間的門開了。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamxAJtd7EY
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYo3IPfisT
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZIg1IcejB
「賴夏陽，進來吧。」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFr58NDNU0
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTW2oKcrjG
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfEpNh2WQ2
—13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZUoxQMU88
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKH8gpgEM5
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTivL17XsJ7
這次的報告比上次厚了一些。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh11cwUVQ24
醫生沒有立刻說話，而是翻閱資料，再三確認過數據後才抬起頭。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsK6jjt1RvI
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjE78oZwls
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebuFT5wqze
「夏陽，這次的結果出來了。我們已經進行過切片、影像與血液標記檢查……很遺憾地告訴你——你目前的病情是肺腺癌第四期，癌細胞已經轉移到淋巴與骨骼組織。」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyYrIpsjTx
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vmN2mb1zp
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp22dOibpNi
他愣了一下，眼睛眨也沒眨，但胸口突然像被重錘打了一下。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uxNkS0Ud7
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSR6zVgLWe
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPuqrMhHLH
醫生語氣盡量柔和：「以目前情況來看，若不接受侵入性治療，存活期大約只剩下三個月左右。」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44CMDQHP6X
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1o31uzdRa
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡny1iVhaTT5
「……三個月。」他重複了一次，聲音低得像喃喃自語。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0hDvVKrMM
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mcMCt2CZu
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfADHMCNWLu
「是。」醫生點頭，「如果願意配合化療、標靶，或許可以爭取更多時間，但這些治療……會很辛苦，副作用也很強。」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaf9rXAgKY
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJxIFkTcG1
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYXhEH7AxR
賴夏陽沒有馬上說話，只是靜靜地坐著，視線落在桌面某個角落。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRNeqInQRY
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yHTrIJlmS
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIV2C4sWrDP
「這些話你今天第一次聽到，可能會很難接受。」醫生遞了一杯水給他，「你需要一些時間，也建議你讓家人知道，這不是你可以獨自扛下的事。」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSkZzOQIAS
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnN3u4Kgya
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLUd8GbA1X
他看著那杯水，手卻沒伸出去。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bzr0sPN7F
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXU6LTSblun
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00KHXgTnLF
「……謝謝你告訴我。」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn64jQKDgTL
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcuIg1gtWG
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVysHyWNm1q
「夏陽——」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvvWuvNMzJ
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdb1fZr7SK
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyAIX96pqX
「我知道該怎麼做。」他輕輕打斷醫生，語氣還是那麼平靜，「我只是……還有幾個人，我想再陪陪他們，然後，我會處理好我自己的事。」13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhE9b9PhTDj
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQW05bxs0E
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Cq8mKOtcx
—13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4kzm3eVbz
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡap2BMAyj3P
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugiR6UVUGT
走出診間的時候，他沒哭。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtp4LNbAJF
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZeMJjIOZa
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpHSy9riVK
只是手指一直摩擦著褲邊的縫線，像是用這個動作提醒自己還活著。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwi0BcWELg
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBL5hQhDZ2
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYwSJEO5nN
三個月。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwcWvkkWjI
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DPZWCsfTd
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1z0Wd2mwz
這是醫生說出口，但彷彿用刀刻在他心口的字。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1Yo5ZZu7P
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxMuzivS74
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1LAcfZRGz
他走到醫院樓下，站在陽光底下。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcKEHywCxj
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKflL3UN3dY
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaqIpGGvAS
這天的天氣很好，天空藍得像不會崩塌的夢。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrprJGZuwn
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqY9fcwFxm
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uO7N0zPB8
可他知道，自己的世界，開始倒數了。
醫生說，只剩三個月。13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmBIvjsZ1e
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0VA1nmU4D
「不過也有例外。」
「你可以選擇化療，但……機會不大。」
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoz4lWPO89J
他搖了搖頭。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnpxZmRXBl
他想到冬月。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtYJRhXRe2
不行，他不能讓她親眼看見他一點一點地衰弱。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQZBARHzcE
那會成為她一輩子的夢魘。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPessOTBBH
他要把最好的自己，留在她記憶裡。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovh0dwYaJr
—
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44eVCDhDrJ
那幾天，他突然變得格外貼心，天天接她放學、帶她去吃她喜歡的甜點、看電影、吹風，什麼都順著她。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmTxvvKUhn
冬月察覺到他的異樣，卻說不上來是哪裡。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ69GZOp5xN
她只知道，這幾天像一場夢。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBa6VvJVp3
是他們之間，最美的一場夢。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIOgNGxsWV
—
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RjdE3uJpt
幾天後，他開始變冷淡，不再主動、不再回訊息，眼神也不再柔軟。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlDHtFSHE4
她問他：「你怎麼了？」
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOVNNr7C9j
他只是淡淡地說：「我們……是不是該給彼此一點空間？」
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvG4hRNLETY
她愣住。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV14jfzKIlG
一顆心，瞬間凍住。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdVB6680bX
—
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGbC6Sn1At
然後，他消失了。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqHrT9IxlC
只留下一封信。
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpF9hHZYm2
「小月亮，對不起，我太自私了。我不想讓妳看著我慢慢死去。妳值得更好的人生、更完整的愛。
所以我選擇一個人去走這段路——
到我人生最後的冬天。」
