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Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYzaxOiR5X
Too steady.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWgn5J7YLx
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQx60NgPVGu
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5KLSruCUr
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFg29kjWPwY
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfJS2bpiLS
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSizcqPFNl1
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuZzIrxkp2
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahGybKNsNq
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She didn’t blink.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZIn4XzQZP
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“Tell me again.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzARl6f8gXb
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0eHAX9fRQ
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToEl7lpTcX
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“Play that.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAQUhwzE8L
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I hesitated.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMm3EvRqBIb
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“Play. It.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcn2vZuz2hB
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbwBRnwSb8
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97yKvcGlCG
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfLGyUOAks
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Then laughter.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHDNapBaUB
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cQyKoLP3a
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7LXvSw7ZJ
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And me again.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9dWjUkWYr
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9YBrihyWJ
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡml6h6BAKhB
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOS1gCkcKxB
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDo4NrOegxj
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHPJek1WW0
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iANX77mCQ
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4WwuFhlmy
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYV5qvwLZoh
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjKAFvdQfl
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1hPfXvzGu
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBtPJbCsJN
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpc4VBDWQpp
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCu9GeJ4VW
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHedGwtYPq
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ439gyX3na1
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“I love you, Nova.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchvzMpWmxt
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrjfKZPZec
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7a4FshOeRX
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOL9oHXRub
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFfVtuS3O0
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The silence hit harder than any slap.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJP3p5PsrT
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzCY4BQBmb
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLrmOnqpHO
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Door slammed.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpbnB8KQQa
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ODa5hZUOb
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Not the one on the tape.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmc4xDGuAp
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The one that finally decided she was done.
