我經常做光怪陸離的夢。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhabaMB5oNj
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKLPScNkMZ
例如上一秒我可能在一大片人群以及鎂光燈下演講和嗚咽、下一秒在地鐵站中被絕種多年的肉食恐龍襲擊然後狂奔。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjzwAjjEQV
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtpG2vWcVq
或者本來身處羅浮宮裡遇見Taylor Swift和她的新男友兼且歌詞藍本，一眨眼後就遠在東京的Jazz酒吧和村上春樹對賭大話骰。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbWtBtS9UT
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx65zVFGdLM
當然大學二年級的我還是會做很青春期分泌主導的夢，比如與前女友或者性感的女同學在布吉的別墅瘋狂做愛。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKaS98mmbz
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQV5tETFSq
現實中莫講是別墅並不存在，布吉在疫症蔓延時根本遙不可及。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5W3tqGk8JD
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUSmfq5uSY
這些夢雖然有趣，但可能因為太不真實，要區分夢境和現實並沒有太難。倒是昨天晚上，我造了一個匪夷所思但真實感極強的夢。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaU3OVpFzUU
在夢中我遇見了一隻黑色的貓，牠比176的我還要高一點，拿著木造的權仗，戴黃金的頸圈，像人一樣站着。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxK8wE9eGv
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGV6UrKe3r
強要比喻的話，我會說牠跟古埃及文明的貓神長得有幾分像。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyHjPKSx1n
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyRCCdWkFW
「人類，你有想要實現的願望嗎？」貓神用低沉的聲線說，牠大概是一個男性。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LCBoZS1Fx
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsSU0pXtn3
「我啊？」我望望四周，不見有其他人類，指着自己問。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEovfZwHFuj
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXqaqunW8Z
「對。」貓神用更低沉的聲線說。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVCqWtBX5S
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEHt8Ak6x1
「啊…咁益我？」我有點迷惘以及搞不清狀況。平常這個時候我大概會意識到自己在發夢，但這次我居然有點覺得這個貓神是實實在在的出現在我面前。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrs47UwT2CZ
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcq8EpihBeV
對了！399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1b0td4OLX
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWsM2Up8VB
大概是因為氣味。正常的夢都是沒有氣味的，但這個夢有一股強烈的味道…到底是甚麼味道？有點像小時候去西九龍中心明將壽司內會聞到的味道，腥臭卻異常吸引。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjRuea31ZZ
「怎麼了，阿日，沒有想實現的願望嗎？」貓神問，聲音變得更更低沉了。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9avlApuhsn
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uAaAAs0kt
阿日是我的名字。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNb7LC5G4s
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdxpowjf2D
「願望唔係無…但你係咪一定要用書面語講野？」我抓抓頭問，再一次懷疑到底這是夢境還是現實。如果是現實的話，整個設定未免太中二病了吧？還有為什麼牠會知道我的名字？399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGuCoXCkwc
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Cg9tJeihA
「所以我用口語說話就是你的最大願望嗎？」貓神用百萬富翁裡陳啓泰「最後答案？」似的語氣反問我。我並沒有看過陳啓泰的百萬富翁，但「我讀drama㗎」陳芷青經典之作卻在成長過程看過上千次。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNn69eyHnvo
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmH4X4hgtMU
「不是！不是！」我連忙答。怎麼我也變成了用書面語說話的怪人？399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUqsX9hEsZ
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSmIM8MTOl
「我既願望…嗯…」世界和平實在太虛偽，變成全世界最有錢這種事實在太沒挑戰性。心想事成這種願望太空泛。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZcfFNjGnq
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV63rvN5jkJ
神貓降生在我面前，我得想一個對世界有意義的願望，不然就實在是太窩囊了。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5n6YtNt1Ju
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTqvnm885Z
快要到聖誕節…這個節日實在太可惡。好！我決定好了！399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpjmEBCvZ6
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvQ83iBHoi
「我聖誕節想同女神一齊過！一齊返屋企！」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoVz2XZN5E
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAr7mZpZqL
「很好，我可以幫你實現願望。請問你的女神是誰？」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSmPZH49ha
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uE7bZw86h
「住我屋企隔離既敏青。」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTJscsRc88
敏青是我高中的暗戀對象。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReB22DCIrv
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYyROmWVWp
女神成績很好，公開試前一直替我補習，可惜還沒有告訴她我的心意，我們便進入了不同的大學。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYPTA07pRm
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qFnrZ38qi
當然我沒有辜負她的努力幫忙，我和敏青分別進了兩大，她是中文大學的學生，我則進了香港大學持續進修學院。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBgIk6l9xi
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDROOPue1T
因為是鄰居的關係，事實上我自小便認識她。我們住在元朗的小區，中學就在可步行的距離。高中前的敏青外表還是一個很普通的女生，但中四拔掉眼鏡，留黑長髮的她，加上溫柔樂天的性格，開始成為學校男生瘋狂追捧的對象。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtdi0CMWEt
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hQqZ1rZr8
我也在差不多的時候為她著迷，甚至有點後悔沒有及早追求她。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDTESRFtQF
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmn3ZqLpDS9
以我所知，中學時期因為學業和家規，她基本上都拒絕了這些狂蜂浪蝶的追求，亦乖乖的在十時前回家，十二時前睡覺。但進了大學後，喜歡她的人就更多了，聽說有追求者成功了，女神也已經變成別人的女朋友。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQdOP0IBJ0
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8RH7IoUCl
「很好，你的願望就是『聖誕節與敏青一起過，然後一同回家。』，對吧？」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsLCslFdBU
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesjpKKMAKX
貓神刻意低沉的聲音有點像老虎低吟，把我拉回現實（或者夢境）。我想起自己小時候還沒有長喉核時，為了不讓別人覺得我是女生，花了很多時間學習聲線壓低的方法。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Z2fDgzXtb
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NogEkfvOc
「等等！」我叫。「如果只係聖誕咁未得一日？」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQnN257Fbg
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs52gjuDb7o
「是的。」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdh00gfDBtG
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHIHSLo7eT
「咁除夕倒數呢咁？」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHeP8YvtNK
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6jBw4igOT
「你的願望不能確保。」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ896LozqPh8
「咁唔得，咁我改一下…我想願望係『聖誕與敏青一同回家，然後每日與敏青一起過。』」我說。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2H5g15bha1
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMp89p43or
「很好，讓我改一下咒語。『聖誕與…』」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CmqZWSwda
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKPcHyLfma
「等等等，如果我個願望咁樣咪即係好似迫女神鍾意我同埋同我一齊咁樣？我唔想強迫佢嘅意願…」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3IJy6pgZv
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxSJr8ZMgr
「的確是強迫啊。」貓神說，這次沒有那麼低沉。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTymiT5KgH
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCKIb1JHo6
「咁我改一下我個願望。我個願望係想女神都鍾意我，咁樣咪唔係強迫囉！」我沾沾自喜。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45MmWyEgeM
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkq00c8K97
「好。最後答案？」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUv2sKY3CN
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uw2krYXpy
「無錯…」我有點猶豫。「啊！等陣！」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzGy37oJFy
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZlEYi2FfC
「又點呀！！！」貓神暴怒地呼叫，聲調卻變得高起來，看來牠也像青春期的我一樣在刻意壓低聲線。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDsBvzngeU
「原來你識講口語…」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyS6xsTcA2o
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPqsKfWIGN
「改夠未呀煩膠？」貓神大力用權杖撞落地上，我感覺到地面澎澎作響。我有點出奇貓神也懂得「煩膠」這個用語，貓界也有兩登嗎？399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AfHoVKr3q
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67HDcTGgJ7
「今次真係最後…」我說，「如果你個咒語搞到我變咗女仔，咁我去咗女神屋企咪英雄無用武之地，所以我繼續要係男仔，而且每晚都要同女神一齊瞓！」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeKTetP2Hj
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVV9hZWk9e
「『煩膠阿日由聖誕開始將會與女神敏青同居、同睡。其間敏青將會視阿日為最愛，而阿日將保持雄性身份。』，此乃第一個願望，未許之願還剩兩個。貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓…」貓神再次壓低聲線，用力念着咒語。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpLtL2uwzW
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmDBNa8B0K
「貓貓貓貓貓貓？」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLM20CyCye9
「雄性？點解係用雄性呢個字唔係用男仔？」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OHYVsGrLt
「原來仲有兩個願望？」399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57XEneWQfv
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviZWeYpmET
很多問題浮在我的腦海，我嘗試大聲叫出來，卻有如黑洞一樣的力量在拉扯着我的身體以及腦袋，然後把我的聲線完全給進無底深潭內。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCOtXmtO2k
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kGHeldiLD
四肢好像沒有辦法發力一樣，心臟停止跳動，身體各個器官都出現前所未見的劇痛，感覺就像貓神走進了我的身體內，然後用權仗把我的世界劃破再重新裝坎。就像遇見了死神一樣，卻又突然被賦予重生的感覺。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57YHuh9hTp
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQqUuQXd4f
如果還有兩個願望的話，我寧願不許，也絕對不想再經歷兩次這種痛楚…399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9TJIAdj1D
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC2Mt4iIjP
我在睡夢中醒來。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIdgu9y5mJ
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhAZNxWYZF
我突然想起，那股在剛才那個夢境以及名將壽司中出現過的香味是什麼。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LZHc3i8rV
399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaykd7F0hkf
是過期罐頭裏的吞拿魚。399Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsBr4BTIIC
