每次想及那傢伙，他心裡難免生恨。可是恨不了多久，恨意自然而然會被無奈與無力取代，彷彿不曾生起。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWcTiz5YMR
輕嘆一聲。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6iofW0pZe
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYUEu8aHLc
媽媽的身影忽地浮現腦海。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLb2DqIYBB6
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbnqOWeFu7
她是個不起眼的女人，普通得他早已忘記那張臉。只記得她怕熱，喜在夏日穿寬鬆短褲散熱，露出一雙細長白腿。他常趁著媽媽在露台忙於晾衫時，從後環抱她的大腿，把滾燙前額緊貼被清風吹得微微發涼的幼滑皮膚上。嘻，消暑妙法。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoMmFj7zLj
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRG7H4coAS
以為這做法可以持續至小學畢業，或是直到他世故成熟得無法繼續假裝天真。誰料媽媽突然拋下一句「感情變淡」，離家出走。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZjGHORoxe
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxNlKCpUHk
他反覆思考何謂「感情變淡」。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWiaMPWXoZ
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHHjwlaAE4
茫無頭緒，直至那傢伙有意無意向他指出重點：變。「感情」，對媽媽毫不重要，否則她不會狠心如此；「淡」是相對而非絕對，若無經歷過對立的「濃」，「淡」其實不是問題；由濃轉淡的過程稱為「變」，也就是問題癥結所在。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuqm4KOafm
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuM2t8kiCfe
為何會變？如何變？可否不變？429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrCMpRpOpr
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMujrJkrHz
他百思不得其解。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXhO1VzybF
再聲輕嘆。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3drJQyrQLo
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwa86EmRdSq
阿杰的身影忽地浮現腦海。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZZEGYclep
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDDC8SdAlK
舊同學聚會裡，他和阿杰並肩而坐。昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，努力尋找共同話題。阿杰唇邊盡是紅酒遊艇名錶，他只記顧商場即將在週末舉行的購物優惠日——妻子叮囑他務必買下保濕精華和優惠裝尿片。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyUbra1BCd
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmjMyIPaho
真懷念往時。他與阿杰一起為那些不值一哂的天大課題感到煩惱：學業、夢想、籃球、愛情、人生規劃……後來那傢伙教曉他——一切變幻莫測，根本不由自主。無力與無奈令他深深體會自身的無能。他妒忌，妒忌阿杰仍在那個未醒的夢裡。阿杰察覺到他的妒意，露出一個輕蔑笑容。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubc5Vcrmun
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkh8koadpBT
昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，不再努力尋找共同話題。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4fcz6ZECp
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWneYrXVXT
緣起緣滅，不由自主。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzva8YYZ4ah
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wIQe9xK8m
既要緣滅，何必緣起？429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7t4Rqjssa
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfYSX5TAYD
他百思不得其解。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7d4GuGR0Xn
輕嘆有三。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7pB8Vck0C
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRhp9VPHAY
自己的身影忽地浮現腦海。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQZy3kBrWz
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Mynjlhn6t
身影有前無後。難怪，少有留意自己的背。妻子笑說他背部有七痣，像北斗，可導航。他苦笑，笑自己人生無方向。因為自己看不見北斗？只好抬頭望天。天無星，難打卦。無卦，有掛，掛心的掛。掛甚麼？不知道，總覺得人生缺失了甚麼。甚麼甚麼？不知道，難以言明。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1KPZaUSuK
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqAUKPgWqk
鬱悶。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCsxxQ4LH4
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkWAylXY6u
懷念媽媽的腿，想要抱抱。懷念阿杰手中的籃球，想要奪走。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxFjamyicA
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeQLkbYMQM
去抱！去奪！429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudSSGrdksk
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvNp3OhPRC
抱甚麼？腿已不在。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TuJUBTrff
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2sEaEN1ql
奪甚麼？球已不在。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivIXjvitUh
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdQ71uCvke
為何不在？為何統統不在？429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PueRTKEDt
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzM4M5wGYa
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWOPZJU5h6
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQpU5dGMWj
停下來！429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGsgn1emQo
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUl2cdwbRXt
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Rm9QIOTQx
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrY1lMNCgc
慢下來！429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7dElYOGpa
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTnHriYICl
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacD0q5oCAG
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKnOrrBSHM
他只得拼命追趕。走馬看不見花，花開花落馬不知。馬累馬停，他累他停。回頭一望，是天不是地。何時開始背朝天？不肯定，許是拼命追趕期間、忘記自身當刻。竭力抬頭，盡力挺身。不果，只得餘生躬背望地，無法望背望星。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrLuLfzwYz
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaukUL4OqIA
孫兒笑問他為何腰背變躬，他答背上擔子過重。孫兒受驚拒絕背負擔子，他說無法選擇，人人不由自主。孫兒再問何解不由自主，他道是變幻莫測之故。孫兒三問為何會變、如何變、可否不變？他答不出話來，淚目凝視孫兒。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0zJgBwuIF
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPKUdI8xJ0
昔日的他，今日的孫。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBjLIXKgUw
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMUlY9NLhn
永劫，輪迴。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbneg46joG
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1lCnNF6xR
不敢思，不求解。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfuP2QkHAj
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSj3HfldTN
嘆，嘆，嘆。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXjt3oFyhs
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFCSZ7iElf
孫兒問他是否有煩惱，願為他出謀解決。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePhiSxBqMq
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSnZ16bhzg
他搖頭。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLX1AJJMUzB
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8bkUp5phd
深知世人永遠無法解決那傢伙。
註：此篇會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》第八十一章429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoglKrda3H
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhtlnY9dWX
