「百無禁忌⋯⋯百無禁忌⋯⋯」首天上班的殮房服務員抖顫不斷,一下子手腳放軟,害得幾乎把整具沉甸甸的屍體朝地直墜,幸虧年資較高的同事敏捷地把屍體托起,手法熟練自如,眼睛瞪大盯着那新入職的,猛念念有辭地重複道:「百無禁忌⋯⋯百無禁忌⋯⋯有怪莫怪⋯⋯有怪莫怪⋯⋯」儘管新來的早已嚇得面青唇白,有隨時暈倒之狀,但仍硬着頭皮把該屍體疊在另一屍體上,戰戰兢兢地關上格門便急步離去。895Please respect copyright.PENANANlSbfCbiNa
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人剛死後,靈魂便會依稀殘留生前五官和身材,然而不久,皮膚表層會漸漸脫落,看來是一堆泡著泥漿的糊爛肉。為了死後的尊嚴,不少人因此自願卸下塵世執念、洗掉生前記憶,便可化成一簇小光團在世間自由自在地暢遊玩樂。否則,靈魂便會變成一灘臭泥水,最終不但落入尿渠糞池,與蛆蟲共生共存,還飽受生前包袱帶來的痛苦折騰,永世萬劫不復。因此,不少靈魂在光與暗之間徘徊良久,為牢記還是忘卻記憶而猶豫不決。 895Please respect copyright.PENANA81GUDLd74S
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那一刻的死寂—接着是男人甲的歡呼聲:「這個停屍間已滿!外人也再不會頻頻出入,打擾我們的安寧了。」895Please respect copyright.PENANAqbTj1jy8Fw
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男人乙冷笑地回應:「妙想天開!雙疊屍首只是小事一樁。我已有被疊羅漢的打算。」895Please respect copyright.PENANArQ9tUN3VK1
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甲十分擔憂,回答道:「唉!幸虧你還能說笑,我現在可說是泥菩薩過江。看!我的皮肉快要腐爛了。」895Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4xLfxrxAC
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乙回答:「今天已是年初八,看樣子大概還要多等七八天,家人才會接領我的遺體。」895Please respect copyright.PENANAddXlY1QP6b
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甲頓時無名火起,抱怨氣道:「在新年時節辦喪禮有何不可?難道我會詛咒親友全年走霉運嗎?真想不到在洗掉記憶前見他們最後一面,竟是難如登天的事啊!這裡陰涼得恐怖,我的靈魂也開始散發一陣陣腐臭的氣味,恐怕待我化成可憐的泥水也無人問津!」895Please respect copyright.PENANAQzjW9lzdiF
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乙耐性地勸告甲說:「別焦勞,你也要多諒解家人。殯儀館不在新年營業的。」895Please respect copyright.PENANAvTXANdE6hW
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甲不服氣地回應:「有需便有求⋯⋯」895Please respect copyright.PENANAmJ99RVy7hz
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事實上,甲和乙一唱一和、刻意高聲地高談闊論,目的是為了吸引心儀對象的注意。甲和乙各懷鬼胎,他們同時貪戀早幾天搬入停屍格某少女的姿色。甲渴望忘卻七情六慾前,能再次欣賞沉魚落雁、傾國傾城的美貌;乙盼望一睹少女玲瓏浮突的身體、拜倒其纖纖玉腳下便死而無憾。895Please respect copyright.PENANAk8US6fN6Do
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甲和乙心裏數算那少女靈魂出竅之時是正值今早(人死後三天),便裝腔作態,多次借故探頭從屍格外窺看。895Please respect copyright.PENANAxKYiDmbHjX
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突然,一把女聲大叫道:「神經病!我的骨頭快壓壞了!哪個蠢鈍如豬的人把二百公斤的肥女人置在我的身體上?」895Please respect copyright.PENANAZRbKL3y9tm
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甲和乙聽到美人楚楚可憐的呼救聲,精神為之一振,眼睛發光發亮,興奮問道:「美人沒事嗎?需要我們的幫忙嗎?」895Please respect copyright.PENANAcQJtMGtRBq
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「請替我狠狠地教訓那群愚昩的殮房服務員!他們偏偏選我這一格來安放肥女人,定是以為我看來弱質纖纖便好欺負了。」895Please respect copyright.PENANAlTRsA3i1F9
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乙義正辭嚴在服務員背後狠罰一頓,還一口答應替美人教訓他們,便拔腿就跑出房門外。895Please respect copyright.PENANASb8bhSupIR
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而甲自知臉頰盡是令人不寒而慄的小洞窟,腳下也泡着臭氣熏天的泥水,明瞭自身時日無多,便說盡花言巧語誘使美人出來,說:「別怕別怕,你小心翼翼地走出來吧,我替你教訓那貪睡的肥女人!」話音未落,一個暗黃無光的臉蛋映入眼簾,扁塌塌的鼻子頂着一雙單眼皮的的豆豉眼睛,空洞無神的目光搭在浮腫的臉皮上,嚇得甲活見鬼般,說:「你本來的眼大鼻高呢?我還記得你是鵝蛋臉型,現在怎麼變成四方臉?」895Please respect copyright.PENANAkaFYdfjGbl
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美人提高嗓音叫道:「我已沉睡三天,妝容自然也全落掉了,你有必要這樣大驚小怪嗎?我打從十五歲開始,便無時無刻掛上美麗的妝容,如今說來,可真的不大習慣⋯⋯」895Please respect copyright.PENANAEDDJ76Ij6E
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甲未及美人說完,便大驚呼叫:「百無禁忌!」,化作一簇光團逃走了。895Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3S8e9nsdq
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另一邊端,乙急不及待返回殮房,卻在門口瞥見一副豐滿胸脯和圓滾翹臀從美人身上掉落,美人當堂花容失色、手足無措,狼狽地把掉落的直往身體裝嵌,乙立刻活見鬼般大驚呼叫:「百無禁忌!」,捲成一縷光團狂奔了。
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