神與畜 - 夢魘症11

一切都要從升高中的暑假說起。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHftuG3UOi
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuHEcykNXU
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnhXavLucE
「笙，這禮拜六有空嗎？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdlELcLHh9
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlReRYDRzM
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToNaXb1y0T
爸爸說，禮拜六要跟他的再婚對象吃飯，在台北。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmMNvcIemU
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tSdcVjHIE
「要穿很正式嗎？」我問。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZgANLecAY
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLF3CGi6vBV
「普通襯衫就好。不是多高級的餐廳，太正式反而讓對方不自在。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChwTK47Lhp
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWCLRQBG0H
爸爸對我當時的反應應該很欣慰。對於他再婚，我沒有意見，對新媽媽的要求也不高，別像之前那個一樣、愛上別的男人就行。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQwOkoTeuf
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8byUCBATX
之後要和新媽媽一起住，趁現在熟悉一點比較好，我抱著這樣的想法赴約，穿了件普通的藍色襯衫，但一到現場我就後悔，因為爸爸沒有跟我說，現場還有妳。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYajCYx5jwR
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sGyrP4oHH
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6sLbPEk6m
「她叫白絃。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQFvRthYXp
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuazFEe4Vq
「我的女兒，也是你未來的姊姊喲。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XYtzgySKT
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrInkREaq7
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45Gb2MRO8f
如果爸爸事先告訴我，我就不會挑最討厭的藍色，而是我喜歡的粉紅色襯衫。因為爸爸對顏色的刻板印象，我一直不敢穿它，我就是這麼膽小的人；如果那時我鼓起勇氣，或許就能和妳開啟「喜歡粉紅色」的共同話題，而不是互用尷尬卻不失禮貌的微笑看著對方，應付這場聚會。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxc9wuJWe1O
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9oRdQ7oi3
妳大我七歲，已經出社會工作，是成熟的大人，言行舉止均符合社會標準，但我知道妳在忍耐，因為我從妳身上嗅到跟我一樣的味道，我們臉上都戴著虛偽的笑臉面具。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Y5SIAEyqv
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhWkSALqcR
不過，妳應付社交場合的經驗比我多，和爸爸的互動十分自然；相較之下，我像有社交障礙的高中生，常常不知道怎麼接話，但新媽媽把我的沉默歸為乖巧，莫名對我讚譽有加。我們的餐局在怪異的和諧中結束，兩個月後，我們搬去妳們的房子，由法律維繫的重組家庭就這麼拉開序幕。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZHVdZmaWN
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ680qPmfpG8
爸爸再婚的決定是對的，不只減輕他養育我的壓力，有媽媽的感覺也很不錯，至少每天放學都有三菜一湯的晚餐，而不是一邊吃爸爸買回來的便當，一邊滑手機、看「媽媽」跟陌生叔叔吃飯的打卡照片。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjIhtCAGAg
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXE3ADSQH25
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFo7pEkyJpj
「我來幫忙吧。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmUPIVEtfa
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRvZL7lfmz
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKDaRt9pDe
回家時，媽媽都還在廚房，我通常會去幫忙，比如擺餐具。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxGV4cCsmk
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZoDwIBiSE
「笙，拿三副碗筷就好囉。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKdpLT91NH
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnMonZ8KQy
爸爸七點前一定到家，少掉的那副碗筷不是他。我問媽媽：「姊姊不回來吃嗎？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIHpE2qB7x
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgN5ewygFaU
「她工作很忙，常常加班到很晚。」媽媽說。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRISgeEre3v
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlMrj1yXV5
「姊姊做什麼工作？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9C112Pc2o
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MHcVrgL1V
「一間藥廠的助理，詳細我沒問。」媽媽說：「你姊姊大學讀政治，畢業後失業了半年，我原本想逼她考公務員或研究所，幸好她最後找到了這個工作。雖然常加班，但看在薪水高、給家裡生活費很多的份上，我就懶得說她，畢竟每次跟你姊姊講話，我都會被氣得半死。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bCsQOhYbE
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgplu9aOZt1
媽媽對妳有很多不滿，我知道，因為她的控制慾很強。哪怕妳已經出社會，媽媽還是會管妳的穿著、交友圈、職涯規劃；但妳從不把她的話當回事，導致媽媽對妳很失望，妳們總是在爭吵。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1cBkDrDw5
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qd43dJuea
坦白說，我當時對妳沒太多想法，畢竟我們根本沒說過話。妳都在我起床前出門、睡著後回家，見了面也不知道能聊什麼。這種尷尬的關係維持了三年，一直到高中三年級，我才變成大家所知道的羅笙──那個喜歡妳、喜歡到滲入骨髓的羅笙。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVwwr4cePI
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTlNpZEQ6M
先解釋當時的背景吧。我當時的狀況非常差，爸媽不同意我考藝術學院、勸我放棄芭蕾，在學校又因為外表被同學霸凌、被老師性騷擾。那段時間於我而言就像地獄，曾求助卻被反說是自己的問題，光熬過每天的二十四小時都讓我想死，失眠、焦慮、精神不濟等症狀一一出現，身心靈都感到疲憊不堪，覺得自己再也撐不下去。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScfUOTBbiF
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQPkUWAgAI
某個爸媽都去上班的早晨、我應該要去學校的時間，我人卻還坐在餐桌，吃著硬掉的早餐。明明知道會遲到，身體卻怎樣都動不起來，連開始新的一天的勇氣都沒有。正當我思考曠課會有什麼下場時，一個腳步聲從樓梯走下來、嚇了我一跳，我以為家裡只有自己。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdmNc8sZMR
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOl8CFgnh1
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBh9Y8tfLAf
「你不用上學嗎？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufV22JNNv0
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwp8R6B7zW
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcRm91dkWl
是妳，妳竟然在家裡。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zAg3FFzLA
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38zRQICcqz
「妳不用上班嗎？」我錯愕問。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGTiKAqQK6
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIhdKHdphr
「實驗沒進展，老闆乾脆放我假。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWkrZQQB2p
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQBSiQx0vX
妳從我旁邊走過、打開冰箱。我以為妳指的是治療疾病的藥物實驗，現在回想，妳那時協助的實驗，應該是水果塔的研發。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pLjY7XA3I
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6RBSg99go
「你不去學校嗎？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ548uS1mEip
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKdK5j6dYl
妳突然問，口氣不是關心，像在亂開話題。但當時的我瀕臨崩潰，竟下意識說了句：「我只想去死。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROSpGXmL8u
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVmFvhI7Tk
「……？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PjQyfZI8v
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DVXy9yyb6
妳把目光從冰箱移到我身上，我這才意識到自己說了什麼。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkREral0Uo
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpBUy0jnCV
「呃，我的意思是……！」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnvniivKlv
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXFxsvCaJK
「想死的話，我不會阻止你喲。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF45DkxKCmb
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbM5xBj4Gt
妳關上冰箱的門，盯著我吃到一半的麵包。比起我的性命，妳似乎比較在意早餐要吃什麼，這讓我很受傷。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFjCGhX4Gw
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bgbRyyrIx
「唉，別用那種表情看我，我不是在叫你去死。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OYaN0Vofe
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZJMCPjgTP
看我僵在原地，妳一臉「這小孩真麻煩」的口氣說：「要生要死，你自己決定，怎麼運用生命是你的自由，我不會干涉。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTq3DbMtxdZ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6uVYAOfX8
「可是……」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfD3ekC9T4
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGa4R5VlS3o
「但有個前提：你已經為自己活過一次。如果你的人生跟屍體沒兩樣，死不死根本沒差。從沒活過的人，沒有資格談死。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDL4xx9LlB
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEbb7wvSlt
我什麼話也說不出，當時的衝擊很難形容。我的生活只有家和學校，但同一棟房子裡，卻有個人──妳──在用全然不同的思考方式在生活。我封閉的世界彷彿被敲開一個洞，新的顏色灌進來，是妳的顏色。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvlfJSMyqM
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGvVmnY2UT
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkamyO1GD95
為什麼妳說得出這種話？748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Q0vLGb0SZ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBznvGSWGxa
為什麼妳的價值觀和大家這麼不同？748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeww2Qipi66
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyyREf0Qyy
妳都在想什麼？都經歷了什麼？748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFrzVzBhei
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnfcn04vSM
面具脫下後，這才是妳的真面目。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqnTPtGWad
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O0w7OGRVb
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEjkDqGu5H
「姊姊。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacGnlUzawu
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6siBB0wnux
我突然問妳：「妳平常是真的加班，還是不想回家？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGgdH0hxhX
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLh3jLsGIH
妳沒有回話，只給我一抹迷人的微笑。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVZuGV4ZmY
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9FVbszkUQ
「好羨慕。」我說：「很多人都說不想長大，但我想趕快變成大人。小孩子沒有獨立生活的能力，大多時候只能任人宰割，我討厭這樣，所以我很羨慕妳。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnABnKSrQt
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnZwcL1nYs
妳雖然在笑，卻解讀不出喜怒哀樂，也看不出是否認同我的話。妳應該改名叫「白懸」，因為妳就像一部懸疑小說，令人摸不著頭緒。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIrOGPTHR4
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsU6vATbUfj
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuqW5J6xou
「笙。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TRPtC0zeD
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡld8yjRY2lT
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ570khn526R
三年來，妳第一次叫我的名字。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIE1t1x1Ju
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxFZ7lvuZy
「我幫你請假，一起去吃早餐吧。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YKxDAOpY5
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqrDvtT5tV
於是，我們一起出門，那是我人生第一次翹課，感覺出乎預料平淡，是妳讓我心跳加速。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFuJGWiQaX
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0reWvpZ7O
那天我們一直在一起，吃完早餐去逛街，逛完街去看展，看完展去夜市，一路上沒太多話，畢竟（當時的）我們話都不多，但那氣氛非常舒服，我至今都記得我們早餐吃了什麼、展場入口的收票員、射飛鏢贏來的獎品，尤其便利商店的布丁雪糕，那是我此生唯一從妳手裡接過的禮物。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZXftzQUrw
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnQvD8zmKO
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPgnIlc7GX
「我一點都不值得羨慕喔。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaPOInFwWG
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84PSNJJPMF
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PHhn1hrEf
一直到晚上七點，我們從夜市走去車站的路上，妳才回覆我早上的話。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡen3wmv6Sqt
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKxqQMucU9
「確實，我擅長與人保持距離，因為我對自由的嚮往超越了任何一份情感。我甚至想追求更多自由，擺脫倫理道德、打破社會框架，當一個徹頭徹尾的瘋子。」妳苦笑，「但我們這類人啊，忠於自由、安於歸宿。嚮往自由並非厭惡束縛，而是對束縛自己的人不滿；一旦出現值得效忠、值得愛的人，被當成寵物也無所謂。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWoFULxhMJ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEMnhx38bE
我當時沒發現妳這段話有多恐怖。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHUjc2UA4M
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdZiulpqvY
「我的人生，就是不停地尋找能給我套上項圈的人。假使那個人真的出現，我會變得多瘋狂呢？那份執念又將把我帶去哪呢？我會為了那個人做到什麼地步呢？我整天都在想這些，一點也不高尚，所以我不值得羨慕。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycYOktgVjn
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3n4DeIgt9
妳說這些，並不是想得到我的回應，單純為說而說，因為妳很自私，妳的腦中只有自己，連正在聽自己說話的我也不願意顧慮。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmG8pRqzwGL
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GBrZUQeuo
所以妳永遠不會知道──因為無聊而打的請假電話，拯救了身心靈差點崩潰的我；隨便挑的一間展覽，開啟了我對武士刀的熱愛；衝著第二支半價買的布丁雪糕，從此成了回憶，我一百年後也無法忘記。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzGaszmHgf
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdDU0zZzdq
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDspUmjAE4j
「抱歉，現在說這些，你也聽不懂吧？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUawpyFaqwt
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Y9HugPTJO
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxKFSmucmJ
確實，我不敢說全部聽懂。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARd1iuFaS5
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAC5LC2jvDb
但我知道妳很寂寞。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxcSx4vAEW
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSC8IC1HUR7
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1STqPbWb4l
「竟然跟一個高中生說這些，我也是瘋了。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsFY2obPSY
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUN3T3Tt1S
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8N9qxXiNvU
寂寞的妳，兩年後得到能操控距離的水果塔。一夕之間，爸爸媽媽變得不認識妳，親戚朋友叫不出妳的名，高中同學翻開畢業紀念冊，全然想不起妳的事。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3wezVUnJv
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYCCwKAByd
而妳彷彿重獲新生。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9M5CvwG9s
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkse0jBuWCz
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfGMCMBin2
「……！？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bJQpqAD6W
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWgLjdImin
里奧給我看妳的相片，已經是我大學二年級的事了。我記憶中的妳成熟穩重，但相片中，妳只穿一件寬擺帽T，頭髮全部變成粉紅色，看起來比我小。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdHjwqJnMT
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpZEKy0DFr
「她是你姊姊？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjYmkv973f
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseNSWGykAi
里奧大我兩屆，是商學院的資優生，講話還不是現在這副死德性。特地來藝術學院找我，是為他的摯友瘋帽而來，目的是打聽妳的事。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHfzkxezoy
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfe2euHhgef
「五官確實是她……」我盯著相片，「但是，氣質和我記憶中不一樣。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAZVtFKxem
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdJsvSY6at
「你們很久沒見了？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzXKKwuqN2
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaebvqbdoiH
「嗯，她本來就很少回家，我現在又是外宿。上次見面是兩年前，我高三的時候。」我問：「她發生什麼事了？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6k54wB6Nk
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4XgMOWfkz
「情況很複雜。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlHpDodsZD
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCtsBiykTI
里奧用他琉璃色的眼睛凝視我。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg83iOaCwNO
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJi5YD0BJSO
「你姊姊現在，是某人身邊最麻煩的鬣狗。我們換個地方談。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh1UFWF8t0
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZ1RojU3RB
妳想擺脫過往的一切、拉開與所有人的距離，卻沒想過我會主動靠近，所以我很感謝里奧，因為他帶我進入妳的世界──一個荒誕的仙境，成為你們荒誕的一部分。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBT9zVw4UDx
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7jKc6iWBo
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqLl44tPgD
「初次見面，我叫紅鶴。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHsbe2txe6
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexRdIn4D2N
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0MDm8MU3d
追隨妳的腳步，我也重獲新生。和妳一樣的髮色，和妳同個色系的衣著。我用全新的姿態來到妳面前，妳卻看都不看我一眼。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEnqImGpgX
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfGX4Ivy5d
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvEDDPAh5l
「幸會，我是艾莉絲，可以叫我夏悠。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBKbPfbIGl
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidwuQErVuC
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22njzWyVsv
給妳套上項圈的人，除了身體塞滿棉花，我找不出任何特色。她是連表情都沒有的人偶、用來滿足自己母親思念的替代品，我不懂妳為什麼選擇她。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLRghlTXV3
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxMJr26sk1
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUAuTS0NdU
「我最喜歡小悠了！」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5sP8D316V
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3R2q19BsGZ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11W5xvQ8BQ
明明比較早認識妳的人，是我。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2c11Gj7LOj
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMRTvv7Cfs
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJyJD6vIui
「我聽妳的！小悠說什麼我都聽！」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XzjvzrBTa
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuScNbzQ6rS
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45S9Huu1Qc
被妳拯救過、最了解妳孤獨的人，是我。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU7kAwMecs
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMplfu49x1Q
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmX7oEsEvMn
「我只要有小悠就夠了！」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloVRLWDaC7
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XUK7nNwoI
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWuOixJaUN
最有資格把妳綁在身邊的人，應該也是我。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2DoAjIpTn
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUB1oP8VvF
我不知道這份執念從何而來，畢竟我和妳沒有太多相處，但我就是好不甘心。我以為我們戴著一樣的面具，後來發現，我們其實活在不同的宇宙；妳的宇宙只有妳，妳孤單一人漂浮在深沉的黑暗，我是唯一前往過那片黑暗的人。我厭煩戴面具的世界，嚮往妳追逐的自由。我想擁抱妳、陪伴妳，我願意和妳一起死在那片黑暗，我願意以弟弟的身分給妳想要的歸宿。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3nyI0LDPT
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbGw06mqnz
但那個人──那個被權力腐化的人，非但沒拯救妳，還對妳施加內而外的破壞。她破壞妳的人格、妳的美，妳所有令我著迷的一切。妳是尊貴的獅鷲，卻被連人都稱不上的怪物糟蹋，我怎麼可能嚥得下這口氣？748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVuQQibgVV
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4hXXUq1Yb
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXYb2bhhTY
「我愛她。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9vfU2snfc
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1c2d9yUj17
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0qWbAQo3s
我的偏執讓我變得越加恐怖，我開始殺人──最初我們一起看的展覽、那些武士刀，我揮起來竟毫不費力，習慣「剝奪他人生命」所需要的時間，也短暫得令人難以置信。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKLMY8Yx41
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcku6StOvIt
「我多麼希望自己能擁有她。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzy4BcP8hH
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lmov1z7SX
我創造了新的宇宙，那個宇宙充滿妳，但血紅色的鶴會汙染妳，我不能讓妳蒙受更多汙穢，所以向他託付了妳。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMZPdOKToK
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmjIgZtNR6
「拜託你了，金允燦。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSIS1bnCSV
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiWPWgsLaH
我親愛的姊夫，一個不屬於仙境，卻影響仙境至深的男人。他是艾莉絲與黨對接的窗口，也是唯一沒有水果塔，卻知道我們所有事情的人。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxs2Mwp1BF
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZpGWJaO6s
「可是她……」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUtqax0S2x
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1tvtoBkhR
「我會幫你找到姊姊。」我說：「能救她的人，真的只剩你了。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIz095YC5A
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiBItucao1
妳說金允燦是玩具，我一眼就看穿妳的謊言，他在妳心裡的份量與艾莉絲相當。艾莉絲是王、是帝、是絕對的權，她給了妳項圈；金允燦是普通上班族，除了高個子和中分外沒有特色，能給妳的只有沒有特色的生活，但那恰好是妳需要的。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOG3srgWQfw
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ReUedjuDT
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt50MrWbgAy
“In me the cave-man clasps the seer,”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFFbZW3u9r
──於我，穴居者攫取了先知。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xmpK8tTKC
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNDYfFu2DZ
“And garlanded Apollo goes”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCtN90kqWg
──佩帶花環的阿波羅，748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mLe0Nrazx
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2UN5yMabO
“Chanting to Abraham’s deaf ear.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6CMYKbkui
──向亞伯拉罕的聾耳吟唱。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaW1lNvmRV
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjC7pNxkY5
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywPG9t9u6F
姊姊，我親愛的姊姊，妳的人生根本不需要項圈。妳在我眼裡如此耀眼，這樣的妳足以驕傲、足以抬頭。妳必須扯開項圈，妳才是凌駕在艾莉絲之上、那宛若神明的存在。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdh6t2jdpTO
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDraZqs8keX
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTK7CJp53j
“In me the tiger sniffs the rose.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGor0GiudJ
──我心有猛虎，細嗅薔薇。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQTkcSOWds
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzlVX1WyJK
“Look in my heart, kind friends, and tremble,”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLSnu4Lmg3
──審視我的心靈吧，朋友，你應戰慄。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCni3SeN0N
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cCjJZlP7N
“Since there your elements assemble.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEHLSiv8fC
──因為那才是你本來的面目。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWgABKu3vI
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡco0kBdlnLY
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdn44xlE8zp
重拾勇氣的妳，殺死了他們一半的人；剩下的苟延殘喘，變成今天的高宇維、神與畜。重創艾莉絲體系後，妳和金允燦創立Platinum，妳終於有了自己的家。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwnWtQ1xo4
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMbotNlCBD
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfflBrjIspE
「你做好覺悟了嗎？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovn9bw6wnM
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpiALIyVTu
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JutM6qQz3
一生都在不幸的妳，和姊夫幸福快樂了一百年，我也不知不覺監視里奧他們如此之久，久到第二代、第三代出現，導致我的名單越來越長，必須殺死的人越來越多。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpKe5PdOBJ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6KWfmBpz2
「注射後，蜘蛛糖會埋沒你的理智，你將只剩『快樂』一種情緒。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWLtPkMZM0
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuMtxVlxqI
閉館的體育場，笑臉還是那頭墨綠色的頭髮。她平淡告訴我：「除非你的理智戰勝它、搶回主導權。你將和蜘蛛糖合而為一，得到難以想像的力量。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzf3A5jXyUs
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxY6airM140
「無所謂，這樣就夠了。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZEVgv4GMz
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuIUbAewoc
一百年後的二十二世紀，姊夫已經離開，妳平靜快樂的日子畫下句點。妳的目光再次注視艾莉絲體系，暗中阻止悲劇再次發生，因為妳就是這麼溫柔，和當年幫我請假的妳一樣，妳從來沒有變──748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWBHK5507a
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrHtXwqhdD
可是這樣不行啊，我親愛的姊姊。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZkecmzqgz
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hH7q7Ti8v
只要水果塔還在，妳就無法置身事外，這樣的妳是沒辦法幸福的。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmLZG3EC1A
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MO7mgbTCl
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡougvjzMiTA
「嘻嘻嘻……嘻嘻哈哈哈哈！」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2KoIsBQgb
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAkiSVCZsT
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRL5GaKpyY
所以，一切都交給我吧。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdRtxFMYPE
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ug18NK8EG
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoslsuGQra
「姊姊……姊姊……哈哈！我會把他們全部殺光，感謝我吧！姊姊！」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaQR4Czslz
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaJWxn7mxa
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4V1E7xZ7I
我和我體內的蜘蛛，是為了妳的幸福而生的。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2xMsoLzD2
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WwY9kASuN
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96QxeZiKKU
一百年前，妳幫鶴找到活下去的希望。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3lUfiY3dH
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVNSFpLAYn
如今，是鶴報恩的時候了。