你好，我是莊坌但。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Xm7Pnv8Hz
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6Kfrx9cs6
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDvpeluskN
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrNcayIRpF
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDar8hiiOg8
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXUhS51akn
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mbjPt0UAj
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbH9m0g22bo
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyQNNIw2TJ
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtU1C72khoI
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRO9GdklfP
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8K6zfVQWwk
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzBmNZ9HpS
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45SIHiGTxO
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSoVOcjIHN
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTslJaLTsVx
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dI8ulNmPR
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjDnmRVOg2
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxexszO0SqA
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHet4u1Bqf
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPX9UpkGVvA
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0faky1aqk
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bubQdeCtR
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1ebX9PuCb
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡph9LWMTcBg
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpEnZsJ7Bt
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9GUpmSt59
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10QVpvB2Nt
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMYy2pTTY4
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlWgwd1lvD
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2aygv1YJm
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5S4Raf3VIQ
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBxdl04CDj
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEa4Zmj8s3C
「你好，我是……」427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZHAcQ7XnV
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlBAUQYc0b
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCruEiOEs7S
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDcuujoLir
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5xdQp9Abb
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDArv6kqPe6
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqzbCTNHJh
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZctgcF3CRw
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtFgJNybDE
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyCFNEbMSn
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGc8wsqQSCr
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iNsGNi1x7
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvO11mB7y1
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGDSRaZFqb
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyYnNPjGG7
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPQRRZUlLz
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxbEG1kD1Y
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡma1vg3nLuE
不好啊非常的不好啊！427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVIHatbggj
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4zxxU6yao
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaocTszVBwb
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWDAZa3vxk
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4EH7QOHPM
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKsAVBsqla
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvkdUSM262
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95bCIZMmqS
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eO7z73wLW
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnouhOXBbw
出了社會，總是得找份工作。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtmwqiwIBS
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYyCC5GtXi
我自己買了台50CC通勤。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ981s31dk4D
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH52vPzGZYp
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTP5vMx4V0
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQn0vX3qiHa
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOYI2rQqKA
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWgmWqgigB
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGjiesrVLJ
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEX2yYGHkx
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JdY1B3Soo
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIxrXG4Miu
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcxABxpsrw
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVO7Hjn3K7
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToEsp9Qo7z
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrV6M7EpTNZ
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUS40Sfm8A6
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcUjBveScd
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQudiTVo7GB
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQ3RWYmTS8
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmRTZcuWm4
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYc3tMMIFv
它熄火，我傻眼。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECelfDaAaT
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QuUgnwceC
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhhsrZfwFE
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccmdkO1s5P
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEQqJKg4Xp
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30ITSoB7CC
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKz8KlJwAFA
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0STBz4nEE
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbMQHfBzlR
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0e7CBCvXIv
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRpuhcAUh1
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhb5ulwwRWK
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKNaaMZ2nw
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbA2h70eJy
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfdZaYbqYT
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6vsOV38l3
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWH3aygTI6
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