你好，我是莊坌但。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmYVbF5Scl
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0XEc6GnFZ
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIZiclXLPW
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJh4zmylYFH
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhhbcnYCiL
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZuGrk4AFr
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIg9dwi2mN
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFjiLV7mVh
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Qtn3IOE69
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemxZ15KpQq
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHznGCeoPD
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhK5B8mjTQb
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIU7ux9Y2Ud
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOSERCl8vI
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQayCyLDvvh
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUaJPWLdil
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhU06uu7gZ0
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3M6bkgt9E
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1o09kDkJ8O
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoLuqx7V7n
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IJizbi0Ch
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTDRj806l7
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKB1YKanSxg
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTepNoJERqX
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNFd4wRgvQ
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tvChVit0M
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGjWjxf2RY
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ887R0CHpJc
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4goh9hhn3
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiBAYcdOZl
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWo0zKDeZ6
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSAlyotXg8
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zJgtsd9us
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqrEibtxqm
「你好，我是……」509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVLxGKrdYN
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7a6j1j4ek
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW76XYSTqDa
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85swvVDfzT
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8PaZ2AwJl
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RlOmeJlKH
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGSjvSvNCP
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoU7JbaFh4C
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZgYbtW7JJ
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjPWtSqPEv
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3v6kBIoMq
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxK8Rw2J6j8
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOf3ZDqSYNn
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6D2jvN5hl
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdMCMK5bXn
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhg9XWGlIek
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLoL3BMxhi
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIGxXqzKmT
不好啊非常的不好啊！509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJP5mPahYx
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWrWq6TgmR
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaH7uIzX6Sc
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkGuaJJnHC
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbIdwRPwe4
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwCQ4r0iVG
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlVlKoF9Yf
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfzos9MNFw
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XKRZUXZRF
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLJkUR9dSw
出了社會，總是得找份工作。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWZEFLG9sp
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7aX40JNbb
我自己買了台50CC通勤。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LeATKDgKP
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpc1Ev07ms
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaGmydmotA
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFnQjs0WL8
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lt9LdHhvo
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn9fatFoI7
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfN4Yf2Wzj
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcKtKWRxZk
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMh373QGFB
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlvrqTePQM
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNgwgXO48t
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0OdO11BSM
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaAWnwW1yZ
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0H4qf2pZo
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DvEDlDfU6
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwBUhj6oWI
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42Kp4uTqHZ
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFeBpzTf5e
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5M5fqsFAm
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Pma49B0ky
它熄火，我傻眼。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueAoh4ByQ0
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenkN0PrKB1
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCstRc441B
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWRBojXXcx
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVFIwawwzr
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7D63sG4qqw
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsujHaCs9e
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnE9Tbq4I2S
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiKFEojvp1
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Pk4fN1uE1
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPrTkas0jk
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7JudQvudn
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SwBIvuAEy
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRwKmaxU9q
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtngDwFutK
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPiuqomSF7
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSa16SnkCEM
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