作者: 譚嘉燕 FB PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/katetam1228/?ref=bookmarks
之學坐在郵輪自助餐廳的窗旁享受著她的美好早餐,看著眼前那一望無際的閃閃大海和藍天,隱約她還能從人潮聲之中聽到那海浪的節拍聲,她真正體驗到什麼是簡單而美好的時光。492Please respect copyright.PENANAZm2n6vitnJ
492Please respect copyright.PENANAXWlSIuNLJf
492Please respect copyright.PENANAzUXQZycO5H
「這問這位子有人坐嗎?」一聲不識相的男聲劃破了之學的沉思。492Please respect copyright.PENANAWJmduSvmeN
492Please respect copyright.PENANADuUqoRIpTZ
492Please respect copyright.PENANAFfEYqQK17l
之學轉臉望著她眼前的男子,他正指著她對面的座位。492Please respect copyright.PENANAE2ZT0aswHx
492Please respect copyright.PENANAeg5zmRkpW0
492Please respect copyright.PENANAQkdO8ffplc
「沒有人喔。」雖然之學不喜歡也不習慣和陌生人同桌吃飯,但她環觀四看餐廳的座位的確都滿人了,她也要識相的遷就一下囉。492Please respect copyright.PENANAdUCbJs9oRk
492Please respect copyright.PENANA3YenbFGhpO
492Please respect copyright.PENANAKBoLODs7CT
男子禮貌道謝後就放下他的深藍色小背包,再走到食物區挑選他的早餐搭配。看到這位男子這麼放心的就這樣把背包放在她這個陌生人面前,之學覺得好不可思議。492Please respect copyright.PENANACBHszU2bxh
492Please respect copyright.PENANAuwCXa7k3re
492Please respect copyright.PENANAHaanC6mOVR
之學是一個警覺心和疑心都很重的人,她對世界充滿不安全感和危機感,這次她能獨自一人參與郵輪觀光之旅,都是經她的朋友和家人遊說了一年,給她看過好多他人對郵輪之旅的正面評價與讚賞,她自己也搜尋了很多關於郵輪的資訊,確認郵輪是一個很安全的交通工具,她才鼓起無比的勇氣報名參加。492Please respect copyright.PENANAKVhIM3D2oh
492Please respect copyright.PENANAArSlqQLa73
492Please respect copyright.PENANA3wtjyiCMkp
出發前的一個月之學還緊張到經常失眠,但她真的好想嘗試去看看外面的世界。她已經28歲了,還沒試過到外地旅遊,她想嘗試旅遊的滋味,開闊眼界。492Please respect copyright.PENANACqlZeOS70K
492Please respect copyright.PENANApGb8Vvm8uM
492Please respect copyright.PENANA1HyOVMxo0N
很快的,男子已經拿好食物,再次在之學面前坐下。男子穿著灰色T恤和黑色七分褲,手上戴著一支運動型的手錶,感覺年輕之學兩、三歲吧。492Please respect copyright.PENANAuRdnEuCNw1
492Please respect copyright.PENANAAvt0uDakpg
492Please respect copyright.PENANA6shzPaX4pu
之學好奇地偷瞄他選擇的食物:一杯冰牛奶、一小盤雜菜水果沙拉、兩塊炸魚柳和一隻半生熟的煎蛋。492Please respect copyright.PENANA61vjhT9fzn
492Please respect copyright.PENANAC02zVJ1NQ7
492Please respect copyright.PENANAbXqeYbL21B
「真勇敢!」之學暗付。這些都是她出門在外會避免進食的食物,首先牛奶容易讓人拉肚子、而且炸物又熱氣,如果喉嚨痛就慘了,半生熟的食物又不知道會不會影響腸胃,人在外地如果身體有不適都會很麻煩,所以她挑選食物都會很小心,她的早餐只吃麵包或者三文治,也只喝熱巧克力。492Please respect copyright.PENANADNnRje7WRl
492Please respect copyright.PENANAakgQLADUca
492Please respect copyright.PENANAKLtmwcYYpN
男子看到之學皺眉的神情,不禁莞爾,他知道她一定在心裡擰頭自己的早餐居然專吃她避之則吉的食物。492Please respect copyright.PENANAvMOiJfCIMd
492Please respect copyright.PENANAnUu1DyULIu
492Please respect copyright.PENANA5huGWxJ3fj
「妳要吃看看嗎?」男子指著碟上的一塊炸魚柳。492Please respect copyright.PENANAtvqtRBqeoi
492Please respect copyright.PENANA7pKVERHq6H
492Please respect copyright.PENANAXbG0uXqEzl
之學臉頰泛起紅暈,她覺得自己盯著別人的食物看好失禮,恨不得現在可以挖個洞把自己鑽進去。492Please respect copyright.PENANAPZ6dkAcKKx
492Please respect copyright.PENANAe3ed4Uiwr6
492Please respect copyright.PENANAY3jE4uYTmE
「我問一下而已,妳不要太緊張。」之學的反應當然也看在男子的眼裡。492Please respect copyright.PENANAMR3lwyzzhU
492Please respect copyright.PENANAxCeATvPi5L
492Please respect copyright.PENANAHqCgJVU1AD
「我叫阿彌,今次我是自己一個人去旅行,妳呢?」阿彌嘗試打開話題。492Please respect copyright.PENANAbH3gpXD4ko
492Please respect copyright.PENANA5VFVpj6ZJF
492Please respect copyright.PENANAfWy68myhTm
微涼的海風吹過之學的臉,趕走了她的尷尬。492Please respect copyright.PENANA3oQQeu9WDR
492Please respect copyright.PENANAWmIwcdIJyl
492Please respect copyright.PENANAVCvBGpVdZJ
之學今天穿了一件印著卡通小熊的黑色T恤和綴著白色蕾絲邊的粉紅色短褲,因為一張娃娃臉,很多人都誤以為她只有22、23歲左右。她的臉頰帶著些許零星的雀斑,但阿彌覺得這是特色,反而不是缺處。492Please respect copyright.PENANAx9Fyw6YoBs
492Please respect copyright.PENANAfW7L7ANVyL
492Please respect copyright.PENANAGqBwLPj3XQ
「我叫之學。我有跟朋友一起來啦,只是她們還沒起床。」之學編了一個謊言,面對著一個陌生男子,她不想對方知道她是獨自一人來旅遊,感覺好危險。492Please respect copyright.PENANA3xgwYLDY8R
492Please respect copyright.PENANAbJB0GBMlW4
492Please respect copyright.PENANASIYDTtnegL
「喔。」阿彌只簡單一聲回應,沒有多說什麼。492Please respect copyright.PENANAGNPmcxV6A2
492Please respect copyright.PENANAlg1qhjZMe2
492Please respect copyright.PENANAo9f48AdVng
他們之間回復安靜的氣氛。492Please respect copyright.PENANAMKK3riM7cG
492Please respect copyright.PENANAsnPXV5GI7r
492Please respect copyright.PENANAooYG7m1lJM
「你喝冰牛奶不會怕肚子痛嗎?」這次是之學先開口。492Please respect copyright.PENANAl7xTG493FX
492Please respect copyright.PENANAIBqJswkA1u
492Please respect copyright.PENANAGwfEVq35TN
「不會怕呀,我的腸胃沒這麼差,而且拉肚子就吃藥就好啦,不用因噎廢食吧。」阿彌從容回答,再咕嚕咕嚕地喝了一大口牛奶。492Please respect copyright.PENANAV1yn9MBfXR
492Please respect copyright.PENANA2kDzFCFG32
492Please respect copyright.PENANADatcEMvTuF
「妳是不是試過喝冰牛奶然後拉肚子的慘痛經歷?」阿彌放下杯子,不經意問起。492Please respect copyright.PENANAjJOeCaw6gR
492Please respect copyright.PENANAvTiCJHz1Wl
492Please respect copyright.PENANAo6ZrmgMmSA
「嗯……好像是有過這樣的經歷。」之學清楚記得,小時候她曾經因為喝了冰牛奶後上吐下瀉的慘痛經歷,而且她媽媽不但沒有安撫生病的她,還不斷責備她吃錯東西好愚蠢,嘔吐又弄髒地方,看醫生又要用到錢,怪怨她超級麻煩。往後的日子之學都好怕自己會生病,於是長大後的她非常注重養生,吃東西又很小心翼翼,就算身體有毛病,她都會暪著家人看醫生。492Please respect copyright.PENANAkVF3JVmW4B
492Please respect copyright.PENANAo0sOwW9VQo
492Please respect copyright.PENANAH8BQgATb4J
阿彌溫和起來,語氣也非常認真和正經:「不用這樣過份憂慮,注意身體健康是好事,但過度了就不好。恐懼只源於妳的內心,不是那杯冰牛奶,也不是任何外在環境。」492Please respect copyright.PENANAnlv7XR3u8f
492Please respect copyright.PENANAO3FholIkxc
492Please respect copyright.PENANARPojZBL60K
之學沒有回應,只在心裡反覆這句話:恐懼源於妳的內心,不在於任何外在環境。492Please respect copyright.PENANAaniB113MDV
492Please respect copyright.PENANAhSsOGOQJac
492Please respect copyright.PENANAWVpnCWtdn5
——————————————————————————492Please respect copyright.PENANAhusAH3iBI8
492Please respect copyright.PENANA9jHH1Hfobl
492Please respect copyright.PENANA3bdGwiRroc
下午的時段是陸上的觀光時間,在指定區集合後,之學就聽從旅行社導遊的安排下船過關,再到境內旅遊。492Please respect copyright.PENANA0pdYtznLcD
492Please respect copyright.PENANAM4jQxr7yuM
492Please respect copyright.PENANAorwYhy9595
經過十年的時光,之學終於來到她渴望旅行的地點:台灣。她盤算了多年的事情,因著各種擔憂的想像,還是鼓不起勇氣,但今年她下定決心要給自己突破。雖然去旅行是開心事,又有很多人都嘗試過,不是什麼特別的大事情,但每個人都有著自己獨特的性情及人生,在之學的眼中,這就是突破,也只有她自己能定義自己的親身經歷。492Please respect copyright.PENANAOaXFIEx2F5
492Please respect copyright.PENANAOaMysua4Uz
492Please respect copyright.PENANAI7CH4A7zca
下船之後,之學才發現阿彌和她都是同一間旅行社的團友,只是不同組別,但他們基本上都是會一起渡過這觀光時間的。492Please respect copyright.PENANAyFMQ730siZ
492Please respect copyright.PENANAIL6EZ9ndFq
492Please respect copyright.PENANAVladq8u2st
「有沒有這麼巧合呀。」之學又泛起疑心,但她察覺不到自己心裡也有點小高興。492Please respect copyright.PENANA6QAHii4Wo5
492Please respect copyright.PENANAL66cMT1I2m
492Please respect copyright.PENANAKZWoLl5CvF
旅行社一行四團觀光團,他們首先坐車到十分風景區。492Please respect copyright.PENANAbyVJKuVchn
492Please respect copyright.PENANArWWWEaHZvi
492Please respect copyright.PENANAh89zd3zywf
坐車過程中領隊不斷以開朗的聲線介紹景點背後的歷史,也故意的講幾個笑話去炒熱氣氛,大家都笑得很愉快,只有之學一人緊握雙手,把注意力投放玻璃窗外的景色,希望可以助她分神。她其實也會害怕坐車子,馬路如虎口,她在香港的時候都只會坐地鐵,感覺比較有安全感。492Please respect copyright.PENANAQofc57qocX
492Please respect copyright.PENANAMd5mNhZU89
492Please respect copyright.PENANA9BFcUqSD0v
此時,隔壁組的旅遊車也漸漸趕上之學坐的旅遊車的速度,之學看到阿彌的身影,他們視線迎上的一刻,阿彌展開開朗的笑容和她揮手,他的燦爛笑容彷彿好像世上沒有任何事可以難倒他,但之學只能強顏歡笑跟他揮手。492Please respect copyright.PENANAyBjBSdDJNf
492Please respect copyright.PENANAtWvFRDIkeQ
492Please respect copyright.PENANALM7mw9c7uA
她想起了他的話:恐懼源於妳的內心。所以,她覺得坐車有危險,她覺得不安,並不代表現實就會像她想像中般危險,她的感覺並不代表現實中事情走向……492Please respect copyright.PENANAoHe01bI4lp
492Please respect copyright.PENANAzBuNSKmRVV
492Please respect copyright.PENANA1iMYvdOndf
一下車,身處明媚的大自然之中,之學也漸漸放鬆了一點。她喜歡身處大自然的山山水水之中,一片綠油油的顏色彷彿帶著安撫的作用,可以讓她安心下來,舒緩她的神經緊張。492Please respect copyright.PENANAMikq9KWDxm
492Please respect copyright.PENANAvfmrXBziE9
492Please respect copyright.PENANAnztcB9z03v
不過,原來要到觀光的瀑布區,先要走過一座木吊橋,這是之學始料未及的。原來多猜度、多擔心也好,總有事情是突如其來要去打開心房接納。492Please respect copyright.PENANADU0BlGuvc3
492Please respect copyright.PENANAepyBwNFdR4
492Please respect copyright.PENANA96xtt8dIFE
雖然吊橋看上去非常穩固,也已經有無數人安全踏過去,但還是有恐懼在之學心中滋生,令她動彈不得。492Please respect copyright.PENANANoMQfv2L7J
492Please respect copyright.PENANAe6PRBkDzGS
492Please respect copyright.PENANAJ7FWfbCNgU
導遊忙於照顧一些年紀較老邁的團友,不自覺忽略了之學面有難色,還提高聲量催促她:「梁小姐要加緊腳步囉,我們在吊橋對面等妳吧。」492Please respect copyright.PENANAGCQUkNKhDH
492Please respect copyright.PENANA24MCWO2iuc
492Please respect copyright.PENANAhZud1nH3hJ
之學留意到那幾位老人家身上都貼著一個標籤,但礙於輕微的近視,她看不清楚細節。而這樣的催促令之學更為著急和焦慮,她也失落於為何導遊沒有關心她不尋常的緩慢,因為她是年輕人就沒有需要被照顧嗎?一股不滿與被忽略感在她心中油然而生。492Please respect copyright.PENANAbwwRrDQVK6
492Please respect copyright.PENANAKcwvxmpLMl
492Please respect copyright.PENANALwqSDPIW2F
然而倏地,之學的左手被一股溫熱包裹著,不等她回應,也趁著她反應不過來就拖著她的手向前跨出一大步。492Please respect copyright.PENANABtdWuc1jXh
492Please respect copyright.PENANA9F4GKVXFy6
492Please respect copyright.PENANAbZ79WaxvmU
阿彌打起精神:「準備好囉,我們一起走過去吧。」說畢就拉著之學的手一股氣向前衝去。492Please respect copyright.PENANAJoLNIGQ3vR
492Please respect copyright.PENANAeKV7uHpRco
492Please respect copyright.PENANA6gIWVKH8fj
之學沒法處理眼前的狀況,她只好任由阿彌帶領她穿梭於橋上的人群,以不太快速又俐落的步伐一直向前,直到橋的對岸。492Please respect copyright.PENANARcF6nBbpkh
492Please respect copyright.PENANADnj9XR1VvG
492Please respect copyright.PENANAjBFuowMb99
被動地一直向前走著的之學,她的恐懼已被一片剌激感取代,莫名地她覺得好安心,白色百摺裙子也在陽光下飛揚著。492Please respect copyright.PENANA2TCBCWLWPM
492Please respect copyright.PENANAbfv8ZfFfRW
492Please respect copyright.PENANABiwnon7oeA
到達對岸後,阿彌才鬆開手,他們都微微喘著氣,但又覺得很好玩。492Please respect copyright.PENANAjuHiHv5x8o
492Please respect copyright.PENANAVjg9yUOpwp
492Please respect copyright.PENANAjr64pVIb4S
阿彌從背包拿出一條白色毛巾擦汗:「怎麼樣,現在不害怕了吧?」492Please respect copyright.PENANAcPj6W3BAWy
492Please respect copyright.PENANAa9CKmCbQda
492Please respect copyright.PENANAlZ3Qzby5gC
之學抬頭,雖然說話時嘴巴有一點點微抖,但眼睛潔白明亮:「你嚇死我了啦,下次先給我一點心理準備嘛。」492Please respect copyright.PENANA09QmkfcPZF
492Please respect copyright.PENANAdtdqFClQ8D
492Please respect copyright.PENANAR1n5wQ3ajw
阿彌面不改色:「給時間妳考慮妳只會愈來愈多想像,最後只會更害怕!總之妳只要想著對岸有漂亮的風景等妳,妳就能多點動力和無畏了,反正前方總有吸引著妳的東西,妳才會敢於冒險。」492Please respect copyright.PENANA7QEVvgiB23
492Please respect copyright.PENANAbJE5mgW8sh
492Please respect copyright.PENANAD5CUV3YA3m
之學有點傻呼呼地回應:「喔,也是。」492Please respect copyright.PENANAy8YbbLSx8v
492Please respect copyright.PENANAzDgFOlTqMC
492Please respect copyright.PENANAmyS9E05g2b
阿彌帶點曖昧地在她耳邊說:「而且妳知道嗎,聽說在高空的地方呀,那種緊張感會讓人產生喜歡別人的錯覺喔。」掉下這句曖昧不明的話後,他就瀟灑地向前走去,追趕導遊的步伐。492Please respect copyright.PENANA7XxbmOL8qW
492Please respect copyright.PENANA2wy35UCWH1
492Please respect copyright.PENANAd4BOYqfYVt
在這幾天的旅程中,阿彌有意無意都會在之學身邊出沒,特別是在她感到恐慌和無助時,但因為阿彌的舉止都維持著風度,讓防衛心很強的之學並沒有感到什麼不安,她猜可能獨自一人行動都是或多或少會有一點寂寞吧,找個人聊一下天,互動一下也是不錯。492Please respect copyright.PENANAGQ7bbAgI0Y
492Please respect copyright.PENANANR1HiyYWeQ
492Please respect copyright.PENANAN84qtUAEOE
另外,這郵輪上的不少旅客好像特別容易心生不滿,繼而與別人發生磨擦,最後讓自己怒髮衝冠、鬱結難宣似的。某一次的晚餐時間,在非常華麗、又具三層樓高的主餐廳裡,某個身型很龐大又穿得異常優雅的少婦突然發怒把侍應臭罵一頓,與她的形象大徑相庭,而原因只不過是因為旁人的牛排比她的大塊一點,她就一口咬定侍應偏心,還有指控侍應藐視她肥胖,不讓她多吃食物。之學只覺得那個女人活得好累。492Please respect copyright.PENANAzQnmZysTVp
492Please respect copyright.PENANA0kJKZyoAdU
492Please respect copyright.PENANA521FsEq0lp
到了第三天,他們一行人同遊水族館。有一條大鯨魚在之學身旁游過,吸引著她的眼球,流動著的光暗映照在她的臉上。在阿彌眼中,之學彷彿變回一個小孩子般興奮在其中暢遊著。492Please respect copyright.PENANAGm5RIMuXKJ
492Please respect copyright.PENANAyxVtgyK3ld
492Please respect copyright.PENANADoeGdzt1hN
過程中阿彌替之學拍了好幾張照片,在手機鏡頭下,他的視野之中就只有她。在這微暗的海洋世界裡,有阿彌在身旁,之學覺得她的焦慮世界好像也有一絲絲變化。最後離場時,阿彌買了一隻卡通魔鬼魚鑰匙圈給之學,就因為她取笑他像一隻魔鬼魚,所以他要她一直掛這鑰匙圈在她身上。492Please respect copyright.PENANAtRSjdax0za
492Please respect copyright.PENANAYWtGspatqj
492Please respect copyright.PENANAy3rEdIYGq4
——————————————————————————492Please respect copyright.PENANAM0Yb53KYk8
492Please respect copyright.PENANAGgncVuxHaV
492Please respect copyright.PENANAMtOfdKo23E
下船的前一天晚上,之學和阿彌相約在六樓的一間小酒吧裡聊天。之學知道阿彌談過三次戀愛、喜歡深藍色、喜歡喝白酒、討厭吃青豆、更討厭吃西瓜、家裡養了一頭貓咪、平常下班後喜歡窩在朋友家聊天……492Please respect copyright.PENANAQhbG7j95hs
492Please respect copyright.PENANAwUhN9jSoB3
492Please respect copyright.PENANA4Ak3huwTb6
快到酒吧打烊時,之學忍不住問他:「到底你是什麼人呀?你是故意要認識我的嗎?」雖然這樣問,之學也覺得有點害羞,好像別人有多想認識自己似的。492Please respect copyright.PENANAvw8NZnOEXp
492Please respect copyright.PENANAVca8kK3f2d
492Please respect copyright.PENANAkRndBCSAKa
阿彌指著之學的左胸口,細心解釋,也打開謎底:「妳都沒發現嗎?妳衣服的左胸位置一直貼著『小心易碎』的貼紙。活在壓迫感的都市,城市人對於處理事情的態度都處於崩緊的狀態,讓愈來愈多人的性情都很敏感和脆弱,所以政府決定把這些人都貼上『小心易碎』,讓他人可以有所防範,在他們面前可以更小心翼翼,免得觸碰到他們的情緒。但為了治根,政府還是為你們安排了這敞郵輪治療之旅,他們安排了一比一的心理醫生,希望在這七天旅程中,讓你們放鬆下來,也嘗試把開心房,了解自己焦慮背後的原因,學習重拾對世界的一點信任。」492Please respect copyright.PENANAkggPLySEfa
492Please respect copyright.PENANAT36XLIVeD3
492Please respect copyright.PENANAvmwpHV8NZS
聽完阿彌一口氣的解說,之學才醒覺自己是『小心易碎』的那一群被標籤著的族群,她更多時候會忘了她給標籤的事情,因為標籤是別人貼上的,她從沒這樣標籤過她自己。此刻她恍然大悟:「你接近我果然有目標。」492Please respect copyright.PENANAMclRpNH8Ih
492Please respect copyright.PENANA2d3gkTB2xs
492Please respect copyright.PENANAJO9Xjsnch3
阿彌攤攤手:「但出發點都是為了妳著想嘛,妳沒有發現自己的標貼已經較之前褪色?」492Please respect copyright.PENANAlRaJYqZJEk
492Please respect copyright.PENANAxy6uX0H2eQ
492Please respect copyright.PENANA6hLNIb5MSd
之學用手指沿著玻璃杯緣打圈,低喃:「也是啦。」492Please respect copyright.PENANArAnwHZGgVC
492Please respect copyright.PENANAloi7jCKW6q
492Please respect copyright.PENANAWEHdiOsDwG
阿彌突然蹦出這句:「不過就算我不是負責開導妳的工作人員,在這船上,我也會主動認識妳吧。」492Please respect copyright.PENANANYBaNZZ26N
492Please respect copyright.PENANAc7iBER0uje
492Please respect copyright.PENANAVJAuwWj01A
之學眼睛一亮、心跳加快:「你說什麼?」其實她聽得很清楚,但也想再聽一次確認。492Please respect copyright.PENANAemadrKg1dc
492Please respect copyright.PENANAYds1RzWI2s
492Please respect copyright.PENANAiMLFWacToz
阿彌裝模作樣:「沒有呀,好話不說第二遍。」說畢他就站起來想轉身走人。492Please respect copyright.PENANAFxTH9TG37Y
492Please respect copyright.PENANA4AuPc27szO
492Please respect copyright.PENANARFKVbszfzU
之學也心急從座位彈起來:「喂,我明明聽到你說的話,不要裝傻。」492Please respect copyright.PENANAVUQwDAb3I4
492Please respect copyright.PENANADeZoS8xMEM
492Please respect copyright.PENANApmDVvilGBd
最後他們的聲音也化為一片笑鬧聲音……492Please respect copyright.PENANAOyzObUVioM
作者: 譚嘉燕 FB PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/katetam1228/?ref=bookmarks492Please respect copyright.PENANAVGeUBoOQHC