其實…我地而家係乜嘢關係？ - 七十一

今日打算出去同阿必佢哋敘舊嗰陣時，我一直擔心晴晴佢究竟宜家會變成點？

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佢個外表又好，性格又好...即係我唔想佢變成一啲我唔想見到嘅形象

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你問我阿必佢哋我會唔會介意？

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我介意條鐵咩

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佢乜水呀？晴晴係我鍾意咗幾年嘅人

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入返正題先

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我去到嗰陣時阿必已經到咗，佢同我打招呼之後同我講話思思有事唔得閒嚟唔到，跟住我都ok佢，我都唔在意佢究竟嚟唔嚟

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過咗大約5分鐘之後，晴晴同Cathy一齊行過嚟

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晴晴個樣其實同當年小學嗰陣時冇乜大分別，但係感覺上有一種成熟感，即係一種姐姐嘅嗰種感覺

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睇嚟我鍾意佢性感形象多過清純

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不過佢嗰種生人勿近嘅感覺更加勁

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食飯嗰陣時都冇乜太大感觸，其實我已經冇能力做到啲乜嘢去改變個結局，但係我仍然執着係，

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點解晴晴要離開我嘅嗰一件事

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我唔知我應該點樣做...

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係不忿定係點？

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有時我哋講緊嘢晴晴都會加把口入嚟，比起幾年前嘅佢，有一種講唔出，形容唔到出嚟嘅變化

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佢係長大咗，正如每個人都係會成長，會變，佢嗰種成長係除咗好明顯嘅身材之外，另一種變化

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咁晴晴仙女嚟，當然外觀好好

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我又响度幫佢講說話

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佢當時講嘢嘅聲線又好，其他嘢都唔係同之前有太大分別，但係我感覺上有一種與別不同嘅感覺

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可能因為佢已經唔再屬於我，我冇辦法得到佢，留住佢，我失去咗佢，佢要向住其他嘅路途進發，去追從佢自己嘅目標

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食嘢嗰陣時我都有好幾次忍唔住望向晴晴，其實我好坦白，我係有種唔甘心嘅感覺，我唔知道晴晴究竟因為啲咩原因而離開我

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我質疑緊自己點解唔可以得到你嘅心？

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我懷疑自己係咪一個失敗嘅人

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呢幾年嚟我都好唔明白，點解自己要咁執着喺呢個結局，明明已經過咗幾年，過咗一段由小學生變成一個青少年嘅時間，我仍然執着喺嗰一個由小學生就已經鍾意嘅人，

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我唔係話去到而家呢一刻呢個結局我唔鍾意，

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只係我仍然追求果個美好嘅結局，同晴晴一齊

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但係我唔知道點解...我唔可以搵過第二個女仔，以同佢一齊為目標，去期望可以同佢步入婚禮場景

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我幻想過佢取代咗晴晴成為我夢入邊嘅女主角，

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我接受唔到呢種場景

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我接受唔到晴晴唔再喺我嘅將來佔據一個位置

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我仲好介意

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我唔想失去一個我曾經深愛過，去到而家我相信自己仍然鍾意住嘅一個女仔

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唔係因為佢嘅清純，或者身材外表性格，而係...

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我講唔出自己究竟鍾意佢邊一部分

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因為佢係晴晴，所以我鍾意佢嘅一種理由

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呢種理由係我好嚮往，我唔單止因為外在美而被吸引住

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不過Cathy個身材真係好咗好多(?)

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雖然我明白自己唔應該在意，不過佢嘅存在始終令我疑惑，點解自己要執着喺晴晴，唔可以揀一個好似Cathy咁嘅新伴侶呢？

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雖則唔係話有心就一定得到佢，正如我真心鍾意晴晴，我都得唔到晴晴，

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但係唔試過點知呢？

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唔試過追番晴晴，我又點知道我可唔可以再得返佢個心？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0Pb7zS014

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七十一

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