說說你的近況375Please respect copyright.PENANAjDhvYqWqBz
兩三年來的生活375Please respect copyright.PENANALuHUNYtnp6
是否符合期望375Please respect copyright.PENANASsvdv62ixR
該寬心了吧375Please respect copyright.PENANAtPDKqlC50S
當時我年少輕狂375Please respect copyright.PENANAYMWts11of4
現在不提也罷375Please respect copyright.PENANAAn9iGQ7SbH
還是晚睡嗎375Please respect copyright.PENANAWD6jRSmE0V
作息該調整了吧375Please respect copyright.PENANAfpwK1x6WjX
健康該顧一下375Please respect copyright.PENANAUQkn1GFzTa
你會想我嗎375Please respect copyright.PENANAKW1SdMKIeI
(倘若沒人在身旁)375Please respect copyright.PENANAPAq7oDa4lJ
375Please respect copyright.PENANAnVZ02c8nKL
(昨日冠冕堂皇)375Please respect copyright.PENANApqJuj5fB3K
不敢說我變多內斂375Please respect copyright.PENANA9hLobWupNN
(今日就嫌傻)375Please respect copyright.PENANAxXZ97uoUn6
但稍微也穩重了些375Please respect copyright.PENANAOk5uzYQbmm
(酒意習慣日常)375Please respect copyright.PENANA1gAiCYudZe
醉的時間變多了點375Please respect copyright.PENANABurdV0PHBZ
375Please respect copyright.PENANAwVXxAEQMx1
(豁達眷戀一樣)375Please respect copyright.PENANAUOudVzFXnA
我是真的自私了點375Please respect copyright.PENANA1kL3YxJKsZ
(回憶總嫌髒)375Please respect copyright.PENANAsO8bzkIoP7
現在也是稍嫌後悔375Please respect copyright.PENANAhMmzQre18p
(歌也還是照唱)375Please respect copyright.PENANAsSX9tbkYLO
只是單純紀錄這些375Please respect copyright.PENANAnbi64QuTLY
(你會想聽嗎 你)375Please respect copyright.PENANAPJqmtWGzWL
你會想聽嗎375Please respect copyright.PENANA4q7WZSc83h
375Please respect copyright.PENANA4lBimtsP2H
值得懷念吧375Please respect copyright.PENANAIFS1HerNOL
畢竟攢了多少375Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZAue4i0l3
期望以及天亮375Please respect copyright.PENANA6qnPbBJISK
你習慣了吧375Please respect copyright.PENANASWFKVJNTk6
日子不算庸碌375Please respect copyright.PENANA9pOWplnCul
平淡卻也感傷375Please respect copyright.PENANALRovTbsDES
算是過程吧375Please respect copyright.PENANAOf2kvPhHpX
緣分不解心結375Please respect copyright.PENANAa97uzdksi1
成長屏蔽過往375Please respect copyright.PENANAdkCtv3cwzS
像我們一樣375Please respect copyright.PENANAFfWC36jSiQ
故事也已經淪為茶餘飯後的閒話375Please respect copyright.PENANAiGuAzw8bNp
375Please respect copyright.PENANAZUwntX9qtw
(昨日冠冕堂皇)375Please respect copyright.PENANA6f8cXvrnSC
不敢說我變多內斂375Please respect copyright.PENANAWSFozmXr4V
(今日就嫌傻)375Please respect copyright.PENANAOfQ1SI9SCH
但稍微也穩重了些375Please respect copyright.PENANAPUAwP5AaEO
(酒意習慣日常)375Please respect copyright.PENANAtWZNHQ1Zx7
醉的時間變多了點375Please respect copyright.PENANACzopA5A1ek
375Please respect copyright.PENANARMSqpqI9Wk
(豁達眷戀一樣)375Please respect copyright.PENANA1LIvzjkfMd
我是真的自私了點375Please respect copyright.PENANAPDs1h99wcw
(回憶總嫌髒)375Please respect copyright.PENANAIrNOsaygEE
現在也是稍嫌後悔375Please respect copyright.PENANAc5fYvJA1mA
(歌也還是照唱)375Please respect copyright.PENANAnZXkIyx2eG
只是單純紀錄這些375Please respect copyright.PENANAeuCmGReDIs
(你會想聽嗎 你)375Please respect copyright.PENANAxZferfQZtI
你會想聽嗎
你知道嗎,有人獲救就會有人犧牲,這才是公平。375Please respect copyright.PENANA5HuCB4z4rO
375Please respect copyright.PENANAJ98uVLzwJu
我握緊手中的『離婚登記申請書』,走出區役所*[1],搭上4:50的公車。375Please respect copyright.PENANAOqnnQI99MJ
公車上我筆記潦草的寫在已經被折的皺巴巴的紙張上,準備去便利店影印相關的證件資料,再買幾瓶酒,再回家。375Please respect copyright.PENANAISgv2rKvAj
375Please respect copyright.PENANAlTEuZHYs2t
「春野學先生,初次見面,這次怎麼來找我諮商?」諮商師坐在正對面的沙發上。375Please respect copyright.PENANA2iFhvYiimm
「我先看看春野先生的病例……有吸菸……有第二型雙向情緒障礙症*[2]……有在酗酒,有好好服藥嗎?」諮商師低著頭斜眼看著我,我微微點頭回應他。375Please respect copyright.PENANAZHMtSeu1Fg
「我想離婚……」375Please respect copyright.PENANA4Ot0SWBo70
「我可以先問問您妻子是怎麼樣的人嗎?」375Please respect copyright.PENANAeoWHMHENrE
「她很好,是我……又酗酒……又生病……薪水也不夠提供給她跟孩子更好的生活條件……」我顫顫巍巍的說著,事實就是我每天逃避跟妻子感情的問題加班到9點,薪水還不夠繳孩子們的補習費,跟同事關係也處不好,一回家就是喝酒,睡覺,再接著上班,然後不斷地吃藥。375Please respect copyright.PENANAw1x1ds0nik
雖然離婚的想法自私了點,現在也是稍嫌後悔。375Please respect copyright.PENANA0M2nRZDmQm
「與其離婚,不如我們先戒酒跟治療一陣子,春野先生現在處於鬱期有負面想法是正常的。」375Please respect copyright.PENANApAhRQa0ebO
「但酒……」375Please respect copyright.PENANAU7sNCwhHew
「一開始,人喝酒,再接著,酒再喝酒,到後面酒喝人,不可怕嗎?」375Please respect copyright.PENANANrcNxoKN5l
「不,他是解藥。能把所有的煩惱擦乾淨。」我篤定的說道。375Please respect copyright.PENANA6YQVR309aA
「煩惱是可以通過其他方式解決的。」375Please respect copyright.PENANA5Uousea6Qf
「我努力了,給予了,但總會有幾張飢餓的嘴,這些嘴會吃人,吃掉人的每時每刻,這是會讓人生病的,而只有酒,才是解藥。」我目前生活中最重要的是酒,其次是酒,第三第四第五也還是酒。375Please respect copyright.PENANArUFakBajnT
「您再繼續喝酒,病情會更惡化。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAmglFeVGDH6
「我一直以來都在所有人面前展現最好的一面,而為此努力著,而家庭與工作……」我情緒激動了一點。375Please respect copyright.PENANA0BkH3LWskl
「春野先生,請冷靜,我們就當聊天,好嗎?」我微微點頭回應他。375Please respect copyright.PENANAESyBp8yQbR
「春野先生之所以酗酒是因為工作壓力導致的嗎?」我又以點頭回應。375Please respect copyright.PENANA7J3Zch0y3O
「請問春野先生需要工作到幾點?」375Please respect copyright.PENANACyBUsRB4hu
「9點。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAGnT4pO5VIl
「這樣啊,都沒時間陪家人呢。那薪水夠負擔家庭的開銷嗎?」375Please respect copyright.PENANAs2sXKOFstB
「很緊繃。」375Please respect copyright.PENANASFCnhD0q7h
「那我想問春野先生是做什麼類型的工作?」375Please respect copyright.PENANAxBlKciO9t8
「藥物研究……」375Please respect copyright.PENANANsFeELv82Z
「那請問春野先生的妻子有在工作嗎,還是在家帶小孩?」375Please respect copyright.PENANA4M5ztdfkpH
「在家。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAfFbwdU47nn
「這樣啊,春野先生,我們時間差不多了,我這邊向您建議每兩週做一次認知行為治療,就像剛才這樣的對談,還請您每天寫日記讓我們確認療效與您每日情緒的變化,我們會慢慢導正你的負面想法;我也會請醫師開戒酒的輔助藥物給您。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAHNmOm9ueOx
「好。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAZQqJl383Bk
「離婚的事還請您再好好考慮,您還有孩子呢,那就下次見。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAyHKlIs1Err
375Please respect copyright.PENANAjogoC4jeEX
有希子拿著裝著離婚協議書的信封夾,氣沖沖的走向剛回到家的那個男人面前,質問到。375Please respect copyright.PENANAMbFBsBciSZ
「這是什麼?」375Please respect copyright.PENANAKCdVWBLHq3
「離婚協議書。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAk9xoWSSqoQ
「為什麼有這個,為什麼你還簽了字?」375Please respect copyright.PENANAPNVTeaoRTh
「當初我想離婚,但現在想考慮。」我有點不解她到底在生氣什麼。375Please respect copyright.PENANAgC2soRTCST
「還在考慮?那小孩怎麼辦?」她甚至氣到哭出來,不,應該是因為我想離婚吧。375Please respect copyright.PENANAvpfsj2psW2
「我每天工作到那麼晚,就只有回家睡覺,隔天還要努力工作,妳以為我工作壓力不大嗎,我不想多跟孩子們相處嗎?」我情緒也激動起來。375Please respect copyright.PENANAo1IRIBlT4i
「那為什麼要離婚?」她的聲音帶著哭腔。375Please respect copyright.PENANAXUd3Izh51N
「我自從結婚後對妳的感情就越來越淡,生活只剩下工作,那不是生活那只是毫無意義地慘淡的活著。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAwXC7knVHO4
「那就讓我也去工作啊,幫忙分擔家用啊。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAzsgfN5PhTD
孩子們在門後細碎的聲音傳來,應該是在偷聽父母吵架。375Please respect copyright.PENANAL4IPApntFL
「重點不是這個,是我對妳的感情變了,沒有愛情了,沒有愛情的婚姻只能是偽物。」說穿了就是體驗不到當初戀愛的感覺。
櫻花落下的速度是每秒5公分,正如人心在道別的那一瞬間,以每秒五公分的速度慢慢拉遠,長期累積下來,將會走到彼此都看不見的遙遠。375Please respect copyright.PENANAyhajuVVqYn
「偽物只要有想成為真物的意志,就能變的比真物更有價值,那不是沒有愛情,而是變成親情了,你認為哪個比較容易讓你依靠。」她說的話像一記重擊,讓我一時語塞。375Please respect copyright.PENANARaLGXBOYzf
「我們在待在一起好嗎,不要離開我……」她看到沈默的我,哭著懇求。375Please respect copyright.PENANAb6eg7Kqwnw
面對這樣的她,我只好壓抑情緒。375Please respect copyright.PENANAO5KuSgDqpk
「我們改天一起去諮商好嗎?」我開口問到,我也想再試試看。375Please respect copyright.PENANARg6mjeYTJk
375Please respect copyright.PENANA5XDSzsmWrb
『雖然晚上大吵一架,但我跟有希子還是睡在同一張床上,婚姻真是神奇。375Please respect copyright.PENANAatQ8xFFEcv
仔細想想我是滿滿的發掘我們間的情感改變了,是我不適應這種改變,還是我單純不愛她了?375Please respect copyright.PENANA5Bhnmn04MF
從愛情到親情,對我的情感波動也太不靈敏了。375Please respect copyright.PENANATGOa0575B3
我能適應這種感情嗎,我喜歡這種感情嗎?375Please respect copyright.PENANARwzvxAc9r0
我喜歡恵(めくみ)和梢(こず)嗎?375Please respect copyright.PENANA762QJ1CBSS
我喜歡她們,這代表我喜歡親情嗎?375Please respect copyright.PENANAJHdIgCocYw
這樣不就代表我只是不適應感情的轉變嗎?375Please respect copyright.PENANAbqOZhBhcw3
其他夫妻也是經歷這樣的轉變到白頭偕老嗎?375Please respect copyright.PENANAAghL7bGl7Y
婚姻這種東西真是神奇。』375Please respect copyright.PENANAz6GL4LLzdt
——依照諮商師指示寫的日記。375Please respect copyright.PENANAKASnBxIBRT
375Please respect copyright.PENANAvQIEx0sqMU
「初次見面,春野小姐*[3],春野先生,您這次是來做婚姻諮商跟認知行為治療對嗎?」我又是以點頭回應。375Please respect copyright.PENANABFcgyQcaUZ
總覺得這個諮商師的笑容背後帶有別的含義。375Please respect copyright.PENANAFLACuozpKc
「春野先生,能借我看您最近的日記嗎?」375Please respect copyright.PENANAcHTelCSeIs
他簡單地翻閱。375Please respect copyright.PENANA3tDXxc1Akw
「春野先生能簡單描述2/24吵架的內容嗎?」375Please respect copyright.PENANATLhWWmov6L
「就是離婚協議書被發現,跟我們之間的感情好像變成親情一樣的陪伴感。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAkHuRzzfgg4
「嗯嗯——很多來婚姻諮商的都有提到呢,我想請問春野小姐,您平時與春野先生肢體接觸多嗎?」375Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9DXNb4bS6
「不多……」有希子是那種遇到初次見面的人會緊張的類型,這樣的她意外的可愛。375Please respect copyright.PENANAitSsxGTA6W
「那性行為的頻率大概是多久?」375Please respect copyright.PENANARictIoNfdC
「已經有半年沒有……」這個問題連我都忍不住害臊。375Please respect copyright.PENANA0Zu5vOGE29
「是因為春野先生工作的關係嗎?」有希子也用點頭回應。375Please respect copyright.PENANAmEMdzQn22t
「這邊我想問春野先生工作……上次說是到晚上9點,那可以提早,不,應該說能不加班嗎?」375Please respect copyright.PENANA6JA1AaBl74
「可以,但加班費……」375Please respect copyright.PENANA3JhaH7UKSm
「那諮商師這邊想問春野小姐有想要去工作嗎?兩人都去上班的話經濟開銷會不會比較寬裕,春野先生也不用工作到這麼晚。」375Please respect copyright.PENANA3ENRksH4UY
「我有這個想法。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAer1QIKuRkw
「那諮商師這邊建議春野小姐也去找一份與春野先生工作時段相近的工作可以一起上班下班,如果是要照顧孩子的問題,有意願送去補習班嗎?」375Please respect copyright.PENANAxYUMdDKT8b
「已經有在上補習班了,如果正常下班時間就可以照顧孩子。」梢和恵的補習費總共16萬。375Please respect copyright.PENANAb07kIDwt0g
「那很好,也建議性行為頻率要提高或肢體接觸的頻率要提高。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAkF6AO2ZsXM
「請問這個跟感情有什麼關係?」有希子有點害臊的問。375Please respect copyright.PENANAfhlUlgAwrl
「兩位有聽過夫妻從新愛上彼此嗎?性行為與肢體接觸也是很重要的一環,還有就是可以寫情書。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAlEOI9IQVCv
「諮商師這邊看到春野先生酗酒問題有明顯改善,而春野小姐寫情書給春野先生也可以鼓勵現在生病的他;春野先生也可以透過寫日記與情書的方式來讓諮商師確認認知行為治療療效。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAWy4CXDNlRg
「那時間差不多了,春野先生,下次方便的話還請將夫人*[4]一同帶來。」375Please respect copyright.PENANAQpY2KnHYPR
375Please respect copyright.PENANAojAEloVOzE
『值得懷念吧375Please respect copyright.PENANAsuEeUIRFLn
畢竟攢了多少375Please respect copyright.PENANAlGj3VH6cXv
期望以及天亮375Please respect copyright.PENANA9r5UYGu73t
妳習慣了吧375Please respect copyright.PENANAVSBRSmnXde
日子不算庸碌375Please respect copyright.PENANAgRyvnA7a5u
平淡卻也感傷375Please respect copyright.PENANAyxUkoKp9EB
算是過程吧375Please respect copyright.PENANA81VHUXCZBY
緣分不解心結375Please respect copyright.PENANAsfRp5tqSkp
成長遮罩過往375Please respect copyright.PENANAIq5jVdKYsh
像我們一樣375Please respect copyright.PENANAPoUZOK4V51
EUREKA *[5]375Please respect copyright.PENANAy7I8pNJVyP
故事也已經淪為茶餘飯後的閒話375Please respect copyright.PENANA9bxdr78Z35
我是真的自私了點375Please respect copyright.PENANAncNx7LgHKG
現在也稍嫌後悔375Please respect copyright.PENANAUwDMkQyq0d
只是單純紀錄這些375Please respect copyright.PENANAohFQDnmpPT
妳會想聽嗎375Please respect copyright.PENANApCabUM9OIS
』375Please respect copyright.PENANAeYcJHj8rwD
375Please respect copyright.PENANAOqgvcFQHVh
*[1]類似台灣區公所375Please respect copyright.PENANA0OFFQuZBop
*[2]躁鬱症的一種375Please respect copyright.PENANAoN5GDpOk7n
*[3]日本人結婚後女生通常冠夫姓375Please respect copyright.PENANAS68r39Gyw9
*[4]日語寫作「奥さん」意指對方妻子375Please respect copyright.PENANAY0UeP30cW2
*[5]希臘語「我發現了」
篇名分離と重合(ぶんり と じゅうごう)意思是分離又聚合,我想寫一篇關於夫妻感情由愛情再到親情,由情侶再到伴侶的轉變,雖然我沒結過婚,但是跟前女友(順帶一提我前女友日文名字就叫有希子ゆきこ)真的有熱戀期後感情變淡想要分手(對方)的跡象,也爬過許多文章表示肢體接觸和性行為可以增進情感;因為本科是理科生所以命名跟文章內的些許部分是用化學的名詞;因為最近在學日文所以幾乎所有篇章主角都是以我的日文名字学(まなぶ)命名,女主角都是以有希子(ゆきこ)。
375Please respect copyright.PENANAz2WZzQ47Lt