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八月二十日，天氣是大雷雨警報327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoYgkfxfO0
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSzpCxh13R
雖然身體已經累到快要拿不住筆，池水瞬間淹沒口鼻、強行灌入肺部的後遺症仍讓我經常覺得呼吸困難，即使四周明明隨處都是空氣，卻因為看不見也摸不著而在幻想裡窒息。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9MHSeMBX5
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4rOkptsZd
但我必須繼續寫；要把昨天跟今天的日記一次寫完。不然若是又等一場昏迷之後醒來去回憶這可怕的一切……我怕潛意識會再次想逃避自己跟弟弟從今天開始被監禁在這個家的事實。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXULFjdQsA
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhgaBFDPZX
必須紀錄才行……因為想要活下去。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcTobC19yO
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeKRDLWvHK
反正昨天已經無法挽回了。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVBqGFcLEs
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uDsVQoZaY
¶¶¶327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47w9ylVVHh
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmQmAuq6iJ
……我是不是死了？327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGsZhbn691
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8KI5EifYL
才剛反射性這麼想著，視線朦朧、腦袋發脹、想咳嗽嘔吐卻連坐起身都沒辦法的各種不舒服就猛地襲捲而來，刷新存在感似的拚命告訴我還活著的事實。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTE78lbDX4F
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64rpWx902x
我費了不少力氣才看清自己當時躺在家裡客廳的沙發上，茶几旁電子鐘顯示為十九號的接近下午四點而已，從落水到恢復意識的時間比想像中還要短暫。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkw6qrsda9
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hkM0p6uWy
……哈哈，我好奇怪喔。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02QZan3f1S
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvAI9qXsfx
該說麻痺了還是早就有著不知不覺扭曲的心理準備……現在想來我對於剛從鬼門關繞過一回的想法冷靜到自己都覺得恐怖。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgQmZyUN5T
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1xzxgU98Q
以前看動畫還有瀕死經驗分享的網路頻道，大部份都說那些時刻會看見人生跑馬燈、看見白光……或者去到從不曾見過的地方、已逝去的親友會出現在面前等等。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55pSgtj66g
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNM9kKfwmJe
我倒是沒有看見奶奶或者跳樓自殺的朋友來接我，只有全身彷彿快要爆裂的痛楚、五官全部失常像被包裹進一個泡泡中；陷入耳鳴不斷放大的寂靜……以及一片漆黑剎那吞噬掉所有。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgdKcet0bP
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3aFNPdNSW
就連害怕還有擔心弟弟的時間，都沒有。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwgatqd0xk
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bPHYhJFM2
「黎真？黎真？你醒來了？感覺還好嗎？」用托盤端著一杯溫水跟毛巾從廚房走出，媽媽在看見我睜開眼睛後就立刻來到沙發旁，臉上寫滿擔憂。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKqbj3koyn
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1W3JFcdVrO
「怎麼這麼不小心呢？竟然會掉進池塘裡去……幸好秋英阿姨比較早回來聽到聲音趕過去才發現你溺水，差點把媽媽嚇死了！」聽到對話聲，秋英阿姨也從客房走來客廳，頭髮還有些濕漉感覺剛梳洗過，一邊安慰著媽媽總之只要我有醒來了就好。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvnpFbEtwn
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQ8Mazmkrq
對於媽媽的關心，我沒有搖頭也沒有點頭。當下除了幾乎沒有力氣回應外，另一方面則是心裡已經不知道……她們到底誰才希望我活著、還是都希望我死掉最好。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPmFrVXffg
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubScUdPKXn
『喜歡我送你的生日禮物嗎？』327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TgIs30pBG
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1jBbOOIre
落水前聽到的那句話跟夢魘一樣，直到現在都會時不時伴隨劇烈的耳鳴一起出現。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhTjVXOMkk
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoRMgOHakS
最後，我做了個在外人眼裡或許跟自殺沒有兩樣；但自己卻覺得可能是唯一生機的決定。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhJq7a8zlc
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxERP7fIsM
「媽……」聲音沙啞到感覺不屬於自己似的，但我仍用盡全力抬起右手食指，指向了站在媽媽身後的她。「是秋英阿姨……推我下水的。」327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuEjI7XeGV
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSweKyrkvE
短短一句話，頓時凝結住了整個空氣。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMvukaK74e
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJwkYvpAzX
蟲洞裡流逝的時間或許都比那一刻還快些。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh83z2Jy8RI
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5chdWlm4d
「……秋英，黎真說的是——」還沒來得及將滿腹疑惑問出口，那個已知答案的問題就被一把猛然插進脖頸的長剪刀給永遠封死在與辣拌菜醃料相同顏色、自插入邊緣緩慢淌出的液體中。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJvHAzRRAP
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5X2zQNNWUj
而我也就這樣靜靜躺在沙發上，透過模糊視線撐著，直到看見媽媽的背影於好幾次肢體扭曲、抓撓、乾咳的掙扎中圓睜驚恐的雙眼緩緩倒下。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ky3XDJJmU
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66vvEW6tu5
……好睏。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEKH5j1FkO
327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7J5PlrNzA
……我要睡了。327Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUNMYpgvx5
