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金鐘雲不是沒想像過另一種可能。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVfyYjFcLE
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畢竟他是一個對感情很直率的人，喜不喜歡都擺在抬面上，就算被拒絕也無所謂：我給過機會了，不樂意是你的損失。從來不搞躲在牆後暗戀那一套，更不曾未經嘗試就放棄：嗟、我天安狂犬欸！236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iiF4sDeT8
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想當年，他一發覺對追求自己多年的高中同學動了心，立刻上樓找利特攤牌，開口就是：我有喜歡的人了，是個男的。沒辦法放棄因為我特別挑剔，說不定這輩子再也喜歡不了別人，正洙哥你看該怎麼辦？能陪我去找秀滿老師嗎？236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNF32KfS0k
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嚇得正在吃消夜的利特一口年糕梗在喉嚨裡，差點沒嗆死。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCDtk5yeYj
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所以，被一群談不上熟的人圍繞著躺在曠野中的此刻，強烈的空虛與孤寂隨著刺骨寒風襲來，他忍不住在心裡問自己為什麼不可以？難道就連將這份喜歡到眼眶發熱、想念到手足無措的心情告訴對方也不可以嗎？236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2eSkd6nCE
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呀、我喜歡上你小子了。明知道不應該。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcoSXh9ax9
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然而，就像長夜裡看不見金星，從草地上爬起、恢復了理智的金鐘雲也找不到告白的理由。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETLeM3iB0M
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從曼谷回來的飛機上，崔始源違背自己的生理時鐘，在鼾聲四起後來到金鐘雲的椅畔，只為了舞台上一個下意識的推拒，幾個不敢多看一眼的剎那；他敏感的察覺到金鐘雲對待自己的態度變了，雖然摸不著頭緒卻執拗地認定哥哥一定是在生他的氣。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAY5EjDWoy
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逼得金鐘雲不得不把過錯推給一直爆音的耳機跟過分活躍的Jerry，好說歹說、再三強調自己真的沒有生氣，這才勉強餬弄過去。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm68XGyYyXR
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他怎麼能把這麼大的困擾扔給剛走過低潮、屁大點事就胡思亂想的那小子，只為了減輕自己的負擔？只為了能被暴打一頓、痛快的放棄？236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfA7pzA10Uu
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退一萬步來說。不，退一百萬步來說好了。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Mbz0S2OTh
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就算他能接受、就算他也感覺到心動，就算。誰知道這感覺能持續多久？236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjDcTCo5id
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如果兩個人不適合，萬一沒幾個月就必須分手，他要如何面對同在一隊的前男友？還是，兩個人裡得有一個退隊？到那時，不論少了門面還是缺了主唱，SUJU還能是SUJU嗎？236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDq6qdg7KZM
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如果摘下藝聲、放棄SUJU，我的人生還剩下什麼？236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWuL1yQKw5
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用整理麥克風當藉口，金鐘雲獨自在帳外逗留，迎著過分涼爽、足以凍死人的寒風，驀然發現就連在跟自己爭辯時，他也說不出那個名字。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXhpcbdOpJ
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你成了我金鐘雲心裡的佛地魔啊。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskeel7uVlW
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金鐘雲凍得僵白的臉上泛出比河裡的流冰更冷冽的苦笑。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhneHjjGqZ
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結束了《給你宇宙》的拍攝，金鐘雲好不容易盼來久違的四天連假，首先無條件睡了一晝夜，醒來後在鼠兔跟家裡走了個來回，補貨清帳、準備祭祀行儀，然後闔家吃了一頓真正意義上的晚餐，aka有飯有菜還有肉。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbQJk0NmPs
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第三天先是到親戚家拜年餐敘，接著跟老劉等一干哥兒們開了個新年趴。酒足飯飽回到家已是深夜，這才終於有了完全屬於自己的時間。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5vx6k399P
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好好地泡了個澡後，金鐘雲躺在床上一邊看球賽一邊滑手機一邊培養睡意，剛剛才傳過賀年訊息的人卻又傳來一個Face time邀請，金鐘雲盯著螢幕不知不覺咬住下唇，to be or not to be，又是這個問題。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFRbEHvnQC
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