Lines of Love; Chapter One end
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Astra/
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Kim was our fastest runner with parental problems I could see it when she ran every day. The thing I did most in my high school years run as fast as I could and don't stop. I wanted to help her and anyone I could so I made sure I was always available to them. We didn't have much time before the scheduled race so this worried me. A central location near the twenty-four-hour store is where we always agreed to meet, when I arrived she was already here. So I approached slowly trying to be gentle.
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Astra; " Hey Kim how you doing.?"
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Kim; " Same as every other day...How much longer is it gonna be hard?."
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Astra; " Life doesn't give us a map you know we kinda find people so we can create our map. It's the only way we can survive."
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Kim; " So you are expected to survive till that happens... What if I can't handle it, I'm not that strong."
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Those familiar words hurt the most because I know she is strong but I also view myself as weak. I held her trying to calm her down as she cried in my arms, it breaks my heart I can't fix this. Her father left them both for another woman and her mothers drowning the pain in alcoholic drinks. Kim tells me how often she has to hold her mother at night as she cries and belittles herself. How do you fix that are broken people just broken or can it be fixed. When Gina saved me I was so far gone but she pulled me back to the world so how do they do it. How do they fix things so easily yet we can't even figure out a way to fix ourselves.
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Kim; " I thought I was the one suppose to cry..."
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Astra; " Sorry I was lost in my thoughts... I got an idea since the race is coming up. Let's race, maybe we can outrun these thoughts together."
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Kim; " Sure you can keep up in your old age.?"
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After that comment, she didn't take long to sprint off leaving me to catch up. I wasn't old but my body couldn't keep up like it use to this as something Kim and I did often at times like this, just us and the wind it felt good. We fell into a walking pace as we made our way through the streets heading towards the school then back to the corner store.
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Astra; " Gina and I are gonna adopt, it's scary because my mother isn't perfect you know. I feel like I'm gonna be a bad role model for her, that I'll influence her negatively. But your mothers in a dark place just trying to find the light again, it's hard right now but she needs you.
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Kim; " Yea she does... Congrats though on adopting is a big step for you, but you better not leave us behind. We have the world to take over with our speed, and we can't do it without you."
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Astra; " Sorry not happening I have a goal to see you all in lights at that race coming up. Your gonna lead them forward Kim."
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That's when the storm began rolling and the rain started pouring down on us. So I took her hand pulling her along encouraging her to keep up as I guide her home.
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Kim; " You should be running in the other direction, Astra."
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Astra; " I have to see you home safely, now come on and run."
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We couldn't help laughing as we sprinted through alleyways and side streets, she didn't live too far from home at least. We finally arrived protected by the porch roof from the rain temporarily.
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Kim; " You should come inside till it calms down."
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Astra; " I would but... She's waiting at home for me and I just have to be there by her side. Give your mom my best, take care, Kim."
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I sprinted off towards home filled with so many thoughts after that conversation. The heavy rain made it hard to focus on one particular thought no matter how hard my mind tries. That's when I heard it just a little too late, the sound of a car hitting the breaks a little too hard in this weather. I can't feel anything and my body refuses to move even the rain has gone silent. I only really start to panic when I feel that old familiar place trying to pull me back into the darkness. I feel like I'm gripping onto a ledge desperately clinging to it afraid of falling into the cold abyss threatening to take me.
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I don't know if the words ever came out but internally I was crying out her name. My eyes became heavy and the darkness slowly crept across my vision, once more I was to be consumed in that darkness. If I let go of this ledge is that how it ends, alone and scared.
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Please, Gina...Help me
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