---
Chapter 7: Waiting Hurts Louder
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv63lG8h8rj
The night after he left the letter, Ren couldn’t sleep.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6IWilCgKd
He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark, every breath heavier than the last. His chest felt hollow, like something had been pulled out and left gaping. He kept replaying the moment—kneeling at the music room door, slipping the letter beneath it, walking away without turning back.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpv3dkTiWVk
He wondered if Haruki had picked it up.
If he had read it.
If he had cried.
If he had laughed.
If he had felt anything at all.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTigMbMyUea
The silence that followed was unbearable.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6roOZWril
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKCjvFNqSF
---
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoW8cJJ9y9d
By morning, Ren’s eyes were red from not crying.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1gF7S012H
He went to school early, even though his stomach churned with dread. Every hallway felt tighter than usual. Every voice sounded too loud, every whisper too close.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGp0K0xW0T
When he passed the music room, the lights were off. The door was closed. No sign of Haruki.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Gy7HpM3U0
He didn’t check if the letter was still there.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgYvMyujUv
He couldn’t.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaDvWARl9K
What if it wasn’t?
What if it had been torn apart?
What if Haruki had never even seen it—never cared to pick it up?
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJuUZO4HBb
The thoughts twisted inside him like vines around his ribs. He couldn’t breathe properly. He sat at his desk during homeroom, eyes on the door, waiting.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OSPOTjhdH
But Haruki didn’t come.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVZIUXFm3d
Not that period.
Not the next.
Not the next.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3s2WWvMyya
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YXP6l0A6o
---
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWE0N3Naddx
Ren wandered to the rooftop during lunch, where no one else ever went. The sky was overcast. The wind was cold. He sat against the fence and pulled out the second copy of the letter—yes, he had written two.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVQzfrYhah
Just in case the first one never made it.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGyeDdfutd
He read it again.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9gzbshyyt
By the time he reached the last line—
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3lorVYb6D
> “You were my favorite part of this life.”
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzf3bSavv0X
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EK1ZmByig
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAp88wGOXa
—his hands were trembling.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYT3rumTRY2
“What if I made it worse?” he whispered to no one.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQEcWoMv2q
> What if Haruki hated him now more than ever?
What if reopening the wound only pushed him further away?
What if silence had been safer?
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAey790BSj
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkwVeZWrG6
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYlY1w9eUx
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Jfc1q45Wf
---
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjWxL0JH2p
That night, Ren sat at his desk and scribbled in his notebook, page after page. Letters he’d never send. Versions of the same truth, rewritten a thousand ways:
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXj3FhCqOSw
> “I didn’t mean to break you.”
“I just wanted to be held.”
“I thought I was saving myself when I said I loved you. But maybe I was destroying us.”
“If you throw the letter away… I understand.”
“If you feel nothing… I deserve that.”
“But please… please don’t hate me.”
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaddykVBHuu
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkY9cROgw5
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvG1eFvNmw
He stared at the mess of ink and paper around him. His hands were stained with graphite. His heart, with fear.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzLyQ2QKli
For the first time in a long time, Ren realized he wasn’t just scared of being unloved.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYqrH3tSAn
He was scared of being unforgiven.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eTQN4Bmys
Because if Haruki couldn’t forgive him—
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGxLilrif7
Then maybe he truly was the monster everyone whispered about.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZ70myVsbw
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZ367ol0S7
---
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibcfFsB8eY
The next
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGMddORMG0
day, Ren sat at his desk, eyes on the door.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAy6i2gRB9
And still…
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DFyGFAe6P
Haruki didn’t come to school.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3yB0llxU5
---
ns216.73.216.247da2
