我同晴晴分開咗嗰陣時，我係喊咗應該都超過十日，係我接受唔到嗰種離開嘅感覺...
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我本身以為晴晴只係一個我生活中未必佔據太多嘅一個人，但係唔知點解佢而家會好影響到我嘅心情
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當晴晴唔再係我嘅伴侶嗰陣時，我好介意，我唔想佢再離開我
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雖然呢種感覺我都需要慢慢習慣，適應冇咗晴晴嘅生活，
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不過我諗唔到有啲咩解決方法，去排解呢種感覺，
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我試過搵Andy佢哋傾偈，講一啲同愛情無關嘅topic，但係始終都有一種感覺係嗰度，
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可能係一種青春嘅心動？
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喺晴晴離開咗之後，咁我都係要返去一種正常嘅生活，都係好似一個中學生咁，上堂溫習準備考試嘅
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感覺一定係好痛苦，就好似冇咗個人去一齊面對一啲困難，去紓緩心入邊嗰種唔開心，
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嗰種好想人支持自己嘅感覺，但係晴晴離開咗我，呢個已經成為事實，咁我都冇得改變㗎啦
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我而家諗嘅就係希望自己可以變得更加好，去追番呢一個曾經鍾意咗好耐，去到而家鍾意緊嘅人
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我都有質疑過自己點解要一直努力讀書，我都唔知道生存嘅目的係為咗乜嘢
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但係如果唔生存落去嘅話會唔會有一日晴晴會返嚟我身邊呢？
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我都唔知，我都好迷惘...
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呢個惟有成為我嘅一個目標，成為一個生存落去嘅動力，亦都成為咗我一個心魔
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好多時候當我唔開心嘅時候，我就會諗返起晴晴，當時喺小學好在意我嗰種情景，
嗰一個佢曾經陪住我去面對困難嘅場景
我哋將來會一齊手拖住手，長大成人
我哋結婚，然後成家立室
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呢幾個畫面可能諗得太長遠，但係如果我唔諗住呢啲，我唔知道應該點樣繼續落去
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有時候打開WhatsApp或者IG都會睇到晴晴嘅一啲動態，佢冇block到我，咁我都唔忍心去block佢，
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所以有時睇到佢啲story，佢有佢自己嘅社交生活，佢可能好開心咁去同啲朋友玩，或者佢可能去參加啲活動然後好緊張，甚或乎只係好普通嘅一個人影個美景...
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其實呢啲畫面已經可以令到我再一次諗返起，嗰個我已經失去咗晴晴嘅事實
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我開解唔到自己，唔知道點解晴晴要離開我，嗰種感覺折磨著我
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雖則話人係要向前看，但係我始終接受唔到呢種失去嘅感覺，即係...
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晴晴佢其實可以好認真咁同我講點解佢會離開我，可能佢真係鍾意咗第二個男仔，呢啲嘢我控制唔到嘅
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或者佢話因為我做錯啲嘢，咁我亦都可以改，如果佢唔認為我會改嘅話，咁我唯有接受咗佢，咁始終係我有錯在先
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不過而家就好似有一種死得不明不白嘅感覺，我都唔知道自己仲可以點樣去挽留番我同晴晴嘅關係
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人地可能話，可以令自己變得更加好，去令到自己成為一個配得上佢嘅人，但係我...
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一嚟我唔認為晴晴係嗰種會真係好睇地位身份嘅人，
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另外就係有地位有身份呢啲咁物質嘅嘢，係咪真係可以留得住一個想走嘅人呢？
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我唔敢講一定係
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