Sunday - July 25th, Election Day
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Saturday was still vivid in my memory as I filled a bowl of chips on Sunday evening and walked quietly through the hallway, humming to myself.
We had laughed a lot. Sabse had run off, howling, and I felt like I was sixteen again. Katja had stayed until the evening, and I would have liked to keep her there. Not only so she wouldn't get more bruises, but also because I would have liked to talk to her much longer.
The gong for the Tagesschau sounded, and immediately everything in the living room fell silent. Everyone stared at the television, mesmerized, as I entered, careful not to step on the creaking floorboards. Now was the time. We would finally know if everyone was still sane, or if there would be an uproar. My heart was pounding in my throat.
"Good evening and welcome to the Tagesschau on July 25th," the announcer, dressed in a smart suit and perfectly lit, greeted all viewers. Behind him, the first image appeared, hinting at the outcome of today's election. The grimace of the new right's party leader and candidate for chancellor, Bernd Höfer, was smiling fake into the camera. Oh no! I gasped and looked at David, who was still sitting relaxed next to Pola on the sofa in front of the Fireplace.
"Let's start with the current projections for this evening." A graphic appeared. Elaborately animated, the graphs shot up and were assigned a percentage. "According to experts, voter turnout this year was unusually high. Currently, the party of incumbent Chancellor Wilma von Greven is far behind, in second to last place, even ahead of Finance Minister Sören Lange's Environmental Party. The ranking shows that the traditional parties of the Christian Conservatives and the Free Democrats are behind Claudia Drewes' alliance and Bernd Höfer's party, the new right. The new right is currently ahead in the projections, but is in a neck-and-neck race with the CD alliance. The Left, lagging behind to its lowest level in five years, barely managed seven percent. Not all the votes have been counted yet, but there's already a festive mood at the new right's headquarters at Potsdamer Platz in Berlin." The image faded into a party scene from a hall. Höfer stood on the podium, singing exuberantly, and waved graciously to the crowd of his supporters.
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The bowl fell from my hand. Chips and broken glass scattered all over the floor, but no one reacted. We all stared at the man exuberantly celebrating his soon-to-be-sealed election victory.
"Damn it!" David finally managed to utter under his breath as the call switched to the CD alliance.
Hassan had turned pale. "That... That's the foreigners out one, right?"
Oleg put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry! German democracy is tough! They won't destroy it." As if seeking confirmation, he nudged David over Pola, but he didn't react.
"They need coalition partners, right? And... And if they want to change the constitution, they need a ⅔ majority, am I right?" Nila stammered instead, putting her hands over her face. "I don't want to go to Turkey! I don't even speak the language properly! What am I supposed to do there?”
I felt dizzy. This was a fever dream! It had to be a fever dream! No one would be stupid enough to vote for a party whose sole goal was the downfall of democracy and the rule of old white men, right? We'd all heard about the Nazi era in school. No one could want something like that to potentially happen again.
Oleg sighed. "It's not so bad! It will definitely be. Right now, it just looks... difficult."
A jolt went through David. He looked at me. His gaze burned on my skin. An intense calm emanated from him, like that before a thunderstorm, which had long been raging in his eyes.
I knelt trembling on the floor and began to collect the shards. Everything was spinning. The chatter from the television scraped past me. They were just words, not assurances that everything would be okay. I only realized I'd cut myself on a shard when blood ran down the back of my hand. Disturbed, I watched as the droplet drew an ever-longer trail until it finally fell onto the worn floorboards.
"Girl!" Pola cried as if through cotton wool, snatched my hand toward her, and shooed Oleg off to get a hand broom. When I looked up, I saw only David. "Will everything be okay?" Three words. Three words whose answer I would only trust him and my father to give.
He shrugged and, careful not to get caught in the broken glass, knelt down in front of me. "We won't know for sure until a few days from now, Hanni. Don't worry."
His emphasis, however, told me I should be worried. I gasped for air. My chest felt as if it had been twisted by a vice. In a panic, I wanted to rip my hand away from Pola and grope for my phone, but she kept a firm grip on my still-bleeding hand.
I overreacted. Absolutely! In my mind, I could already see smoke rising over the village and everyone saying they didn't know anything. Children separated from their families. People who were more skeletons than anything else, staring at you with eyes that were a fraction of a second between life and death. Tears welled up in my eyes. "It'll be okay!" I whispered.
A muscle under David's left eye twitched, and he nodded slowly, deliberately. "It'll be okay!" Carefully, as if I were made of glass, he took my elbow and helped me up. Pola had conjured up a tissue and used it to wipe the blood from my arm. "Come on, let's take care of your hand first."
I literally absorbed the calming sound of his voice. It enveloped me, made my heart beat more slowly, and made my eyelids feel heavier.
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He pulled me into the kitchen. With one ear, I heard Oleg arguing with Hassan about whether they should watch Tatort or the comedy on RTL. Nila just mumbled that she was going to bed and didn't even say goodbye when the door slammed behind her.
I sat on the kitchen chair as if in a trance. The old black and white tiles felt cold under my socks, making it clear to me that, unfortunately, I wasn't dreaming.
The small bag we used to keep bandages and disinfectant scraped across the top of the small wooden table that stood against the long wall diagonally opposite the window. I watched dully as David placed the disinfectant on the table and pulled bandages from the compartment with the finger plasters.
"Am I overreacting?" I asked harshly, looking out the window into the slowly darkening night.
He removed the cap from the disinfectant spray. "No. It's shocking. I can understand that you're scared." The words that he was scared, too, hung unspoken between us. Cold spray hit my wound and mixed with the old blood.
"What happens now?"
"That's what always happens. They're currently at 37%. They have to find a coalition partner. And Hanni, they won't be able to do that!"
The fingers of my other hand closed around the edge of the table until my knuckles turned white. I chewed on my lower lip. I wanted to believe it, but something inside me rebelled.
"What do we do if they succeed?"
"Pray." He carefully wrapped the bandage around my finger and then gently stroked my palm. I'd never seen David so dry and serious. Even during the defense of his master's thesis, he'd still had some humor.
Uncertain, I sought his gaze. "Can they abolish democracy?"
He exhaled sharply and sank back against the back of the chair opposite me. His gaze slid over the wall. He pressed his lips together tensely.
"David. Can they?"
He nodded hesitantly. "There are ways."
"And what do we do then?" The thought made me shiver. What would happen to my parents then? To David's parents? His mother had always been very active in the Environmental Party. What would happen here in the long run? God, the economy would die. A truly bitter, miserable death!
He blinked. "Do you want the honest answer?" Swallowing hard, he turned his head back to me. "I don't know!”
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