The things I hate. - I hate my philophobia. | Penana

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#4

I hate my philophobia.

savandler

May 15, 2025

151

1 Min Read

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I hate my philophobia.

I hate it because it isolates me.

I hate I can’t trust people.

I hate I can’t let people close.

I hate I can’t form meaningful connections.

I hate that I’m scared to love people.

I hate that I hide,

But it’s how you survive in this world.

You survive by not trusting,

by not loving.

The second you trust they leave.

All my life they left,

now I have philophobia.

No one will stay.

No one will love me.

I’m scared to love.

I don’t want to hurt.

I don’t want to live,

but I don’t want to die.

I don’t have a reason for either.

Why do I need this?

Why do I need my philophobia?

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Table of Contents

#1 C.W. I hate the memories I still have.

#2 I hate how I feel.

#3 I hate the lies I tell every day.

#4 I hate my philophobia.

#5 I hate the distance.

#6 I hate waking up.

#7 I hate you C.W.

#8 I hate being empty.

#9 I hate that I can’t cry anymore.

#10 The real payment.

#11 I hate being afraid.

#12 They call me pretty until I tell them no.

#13 I hate the mask I wear.

#14 Why do strangers care when they’re online?

#16 The backup.

#17 If I meet you again.

#23 My reasons.

#25 Just a question.