
二十年前——363Please respect copyright.PENANA0usLwLKizX
363Please respect copyright.PENANAYAbwciKdjD
小荷是個人見人愛的六歲小女孩,胖胖白白的臉配上一雙水靈大眼。她每天穿著荷媽親手做的一雙由彩色布碎拼湊而成的小鞋子到處玩耍,有時會跟同村的孩子們跑上山頭採菇,有時會為獨居老人送上新鮮採摘的漂亮花朵,有時會在湖邊遊蕩。363Please respect copyright.PENANAyrdCs4CZiO
363Please respect copyright.PENANAOrAi1ssUqj
荷媽曾多次提醒她切勿走近湖邊,但小荷偏偏喜歡看蓮花,說蓮花是仙女的化身。荷媽忙著預備晚餐,不甚耐煩地反譏小荷幼稚。小荷不堪被譏諷,激動嚷著會帶蓮花仙女回家,然後頭也不回衝出家門。363Please respect copyright.PENANAPazgsfAky5
363Please respect copyright.PENANAjtFqbY0c29
傍晚,晚餐備好了,小荷還沒有回家。荷媽心緒不寧,深怕小荷遇上意外。她挑燈外出,急步走往湖邊。363Please respect copyright.PENANANjrhgOdwpR
363Please respect copyright.PENANA6yd9tIvyrP
小荷不在。363Please respect copyright.PENANAoOHhqpvgIG
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荷媽的心頭涼了大截,連忙前去村長家求助。沒多久,大伙兒在湖邊叢林間搜索。363Please respect copyright.PENANA7ZkpZy6ymk
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無發現。363Please respect copyright.PENANAgD4ovfLzNi
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村長打算重新部署搜索行動之際,有人指著湖中央的一朵蓮花大叫:「看!湖中那朵蓮花上有一隻鞋!」363Please respect copyright.PENANAOSZZ5lgOJc
363Please respect copyright.PENANAxL07GRib72
大伙兒定睛細看,卻因光線不足而未能確定那是否一隻鞋。荷媽救女心切,不理眾人勸阻跳入湖中游向那朵蓮花。游著、游著,她的身影突然消失了。363Please respect copyright.PENANA04pBHBnvbl
363Please respect copyright.PENANA6CqIL7n5eI
為免有更多人命犧牲,村民只得待天亮才落水找荷媽。不出所料,荷媽的腳踝被水草纏住,溺斃湖底。村民認得蓮花上的鞋子確是屬於小荷,但找遍湖底亦找不到她的身影。唯有繼續在林間搜索。無果。個多月後,眾人認為找到小荷的機會渺茫,於是停止搜索。363Please respect copyright.PENANARPDyW3pN7b
363Please respect copyright.PENANABzIwfMcbwv
村裡開始流傳蓮花仙女帶走小荷的傳聞……363Please respect copyright.PENANA0LzSqL5rUO
363Please respect copyright.PENANAOCXF02VaOX
「那是在你出生前發生的事情?」阿夏一邊聽得著迷,一邊望著車窗外的油油綠草地,驚嘆著這寧靜山村背後竟有這種可怕事。363Please respect copyright.PENANAiRvTD2cGPF
363Please respect copyright.PENANAU7X345ZUCj
「不。當年我十歲,和小荷挺熟絡。」芙兒沒心情欣賞風景,逕自倚著椅背,微微仰首凝視車廂天花那色調偏冷的米光燈。363Please respect copyright.PENANALQifOiBXvS
363Please respect copyright.PENANAziynt4QWAM
「小荷失蹤一事是你當警察的原因嗎?」阿夏與芙兒作伴數年,不難看出芙兒心事重重,尤其今趟「回鄉之旅」是離鄉別井十多年的芙兒主動提出,可見其別具意義。363Please respect copyright.PENANA03b7nFKYC3
363Please respect copyright.PENANAB7k2UtvxIp
「嗯……一部份吧。不能說是完全因為她,也不能說是與這事情毫無關係。」芙兒苦笑,些許後悔無故主動提及這大煞風景的陳年往事。回鄉目的不是向各位鄉親苦老宣佈自己與阿夏的婚訊和設喜宴嗎?不是要歡天喜地、眉開眼笑嗎?363Please respect copyright.PENANAXQ2O12mOdB
363Please respect copyright.PENANAktOKSjbovs
「不管如何……」阿夏是個聰明人,明明對案件內容細節有興趣,但也知道要適可宜止。他輕拍芙兒的手背,安慰道:「事情已然過去,多想無益。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAVNyKYX3aVB
363Please respect copyright.PENANAUvgK5yvzcb
「是的。過去了。」芙兒吁一口氣,似是釋懷,奈何揪心的感覺難以單憑幾句安慰說話連根拔起。363Please respect copyright.PENANA1WXZ2SoCVL
363Please respect copyright.PENANAE1U3ZtePO2
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?363Please respect copyright.PENANAjZaG4sU0qV
363Please respect copyright.PENANAMgu87gnwnJ
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。363Please respect copyright.PENANAOodKYwAG1z
363Please respect copyright.PENANABOyyowjsd6
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAGYZ3NxAyMS
363Please respect copyright.PENANAilUyv0kTMi
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。363Please respect copyright.PENANAhhUFlh7ipx
363Please respect copyright.PENANAYGt6gmlSnc
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。時間彷彿隨著步伐逆行,日落月出,瞬間回到二十年前那個夜晚……363Please respect copyright.PENANAJG51ffiy4F
363Please respect copyright.PENANAbcc2uY0imV
「我帶芙兒外出散步散心。」晚飯後,芙爸病懨懨地對妻子說。363Please respect copyright.PENANA6BAq3k3FcG
363Please respect copyright.PENANAHB3qHo8KD1
「嗯。」芙媽忙於照顧病兒,分身不暇。363Please respect copyright.PENANAa54EtB5y7U
363Please respect copyright.PENANA7mzaVjjVGc
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上,芙爸眉頭鎖得更深。芙兒乖乖不作聲,默默尾隨他快步走。363Please respect copyright.PENANACl8OZdbsME
363Please respect copyright.PENANA8Kbji9wUPr
「芙兒,你愛媽媽嗎?」363Please respect copyright.PENANAXGsY4U9zbN
363Please respect copyright.PENANA8Me5rjSc73
「愛。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAhBEwP6JaX3
363Please respect copyright.PENANAO5jsch9Qa5
「你愛爸爸嗎?」363Please respect copyright.PENANAjJPi4iwKb0
363Please respect copyright.PENANAapTQXQL1o3
「愛。」363Please respect copyright.PENANADzPcb0U5Vv
363Please respect copyright.PENANAZAjXZUnypR
「你愛哥哥嗎?」363Please respect copyright.PENANAo5DmF6flNQ
363Please respect copyright.PENANAvnUseDfges
芙兒心裡一寒,不自已停下腳步——她早前無意間發現爸爸向前任村長秘密查詢有關人口販子的事。難道爸爸為了替哥哥籌措醫藥費而打算賣掉她?363Please respect copyright.PENANALDw6IvQ8j8
363Please respect copyright.PENANAhfIaB6s7zv
「你愛我嗎?」芙兒無力反問。363Please respect copyright.PENANAAjTXk6CnP4
363Please respect copyright.PENANAl8zHJq77Mg
芙爸沒有回答,繼續低頭開步走。363Please respect copyright.PENANAGTQsqSw0lR
363Please respect copyright.PENANAAdDEwtEG6O
芙兒想要跑回家去,雙腳卻不由自主隨著爸爸走,縱然明知那是不歸路。363Please respect copyright.PENANAdKOhNrXAXo
363Please respect copyright.PENANALUKxEeoTOi
途經蓮花池,巧遇小荷。芙爸倏忽衝前打昏小荷。芙兒明白爸爸的意圖,連忙拉住他。363Please respect copyright.PENANARiKNLUWvp3
363Please respect copyright.PENANAso9p2ThXbv
「小荷是無辜的!」363Please respect copyright.PENANAJdrG0wflcr
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「但我捨不得你啊!」363Please respect copyright.PENANAiNewtqa6wH
363Please respect copyright.PENANANioLfrew39
芙兒不期然鬆開了手——她聽得出話裡的割捨與堅決。爸爸向來善良老實,日子艱難亦不會做鼠竊狗偷的勾當。奈何今次關乎兒子的生命安危和女兒的命運!他寧可割捨良知,亦要保住家人。363Please respect copyright.PENANA7yeMJejfRH
363Please respect copyright.PENANALY8f0RWiB1
芙兒理解了、妥協了,芙爸眼神反倒更為悲憤不安。他脫下小荷的一隻鞋,使勁拋向蓮花池。鞋子剛好不偏不倚落在池中央的一朵大蓮花上。363Please respect copyright.PENANAss3gxY3N8G
363Please respect copyright.PENANA3966t7bzO5
父女兩人不約而同望向那朵大蓮花。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。363Please respect copyright.PENANAcxYqRRZuQ0
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小黑點,人生裡的大污點。363Please respect copyright.PENANAi0hqGJ8YJj
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來到約定的地方。人口販子沒有芙兒想像中的鼠頭獐目。他相貌平凡,打扮平凡,舉止平凡,有如田裡的一顆穀粒,獨一無二卻平凡普通。363Please respect copyright.PENANAgKakI5cWKC
363Please respect copyright.PENANA5pobpGsyEI
二人無聲的奉上小荷,默默的收下金錢,不能見光的交易在無光的樹林中順利完成。363Please respect copyright.PENANAEYA5y9H9YN
363Please respect copyright.PENANAKhlcL8cVzv
芙兒自此在這夜池邊中無限輪迴。363Please respect copyright.PENANAwql3qkzonz
363Please respect copyright.PENANAzt7cIcOX91
晝如夜,夜是夜。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,異裝同臉。池中有蓮,家中有蓮,路中有蓮,蓮上有鞋。363Please respect copyright.PENANAnVK3mhlQjy
363Please respect copyright.PENANA2xH3JpsIns
瘋了。芙兒的世界瘋了。363Please respect copyright.PENANAoTc2xkI6lt
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需要救贖。無人能救。只得自救。363Please respect copyright.PENANAJJW3UyXI8O
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救哥哥,犧牲小荷。救自己,犧牲誰?363Please respect copyright.PENANAH3QPabU1u8
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「記住,賣掉小荷的人是我,不是你。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAoFRt9qEudd
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「我沒有阻止你。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAAhyJ2Bwlxu
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「阻止得了麼?」363Please respect copyright.PENANAbjmvJHj5qC
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「至少,我該要嘗試。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAd2fO1X1jsB
363Please respect copyright.PENANA0pvqaQBLlR
「嘗試有用麼?」363Please respect copyright.PENANAdb2Q12Z7wb
363Please respect copyright.PENANAC2DIsyl0ef
芙兒如夢初醒——芙爸企圖獨自扛起一切責任,救贖芙兒。她不自控笑著流淚,內心得到救贖的同時又跌落另一深淵——自己得救,爸爸犧牲。363Please respect copyright.PENANAOyUAqs4uKC
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真的得到了救贖嗎?不肯定。363Please respect copyright.PENANAhiwe2c2H4n
363Please respect copyright.PENANABKG4alEpO4
她離鄉到城市尋找工作,輾轉當上警察。對失蹤案尤感興趣。找人,找救贖。找到人,找不到救贖。363Please respect copyright.PENANAO7Tsinv8yz
363Please respect copyright.PENANATcswarsOx4
收到來自家鄉的信,提及哥哥病逝。她丟掉信件,假裝未曾收到。根本沒意義,根本誰也沒能得救,無論犧牲多大。363Please respect copyright.PENANA0ipdORzKCs
363Please respect copyright.PENANAe5S6gCLS8E
芙媽來了,問芙兒為何不出席哥哥的喪禮。她說不知道哥哥逝世一事。芙媽低頭掩面大笑,笑了很久,然後哭了很久。「你爸說你不會為此回來,我說你不是狠心的人。原來我們都錯了——你根本不知情。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAYAEbI3nVH4
363Please respect copyright.PENANAenS5DWjkjj
有甚麼值得笑或哭?芙兒不明白。或許媽媽也不明白,純粹為笑而笑、為哭而哭,無謂卻有為。至少她的情緒得以紓緩,面容不再繃緊。363Please respect copyright.PENANABZ1yvmbUbh
363Please respect copyright.PENANAwH7UhheKXM
數年後,芙媽死了。芙兒同樣沒有出席喪禮。她向上司請假數天,躲在家裡,足不出戶。不斷憶起媽媽當日又哭又笑的癲狂模樣。真羨慕。沒有隱藏,沒有秘密。363Please respect copyright.PENANAhVznIghPgz
363Please respect copyright.PENANAXCFUlfmK0f
假期完結後,芙兒重投工作。警局來了一個新丁,名叫阿夏,比芙兒年輕數載。他長有一張孩子臉,胖胖白白,水靈大眼,像小荷。芙兒的目光離不開阿夏,主動接近他、勾搭他。二人由相識至同睡一床,僅是三天內的事。363Please respect copyright.PENANANLFECi7fPs
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阿夏不解。363Please respect copyright.PENANAXZC39Qhqlj
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「你不似是水性楊花的女人。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAlRfax0eUXN
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「你不似是諸事八卦的男人。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAM65AU3UV1P
363Please respect copyright.PENANAh8iog32i5F
阿夏開始追求芙兒。芙兒不接受,卻偶爾與他同睡。為何不愛他卻會與他睡?是發洩,是鬱悶,或是對往事的情感投射?芙兒解釋不了,亦不想解釋——找到解釋之時,另一個問題就會隨即出現。363Please respect copyright.PENANAR01HGaa7xB
363Please respect copyright.PENANA2r8OPSaOXZ
繼續同睡,繼續被追求,繼續找人找救贖。生活不過如此,平平凡凡,無無謂謂。363Please respect copyright.PENANAsC9NPJUoFH
363Please respect copyright.PENANA8VEkfCNIC9
數年後的某天,芙兒收到來自兒時鄰居的一通電話。對方說芙爸病重,行將就木,希望她回鄉探望。363Please respect copyright.PENANATFeJbz0aAr
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「是他希望我回去,或是大家希望我回去探望他?」363Please respect copyright.PENANAvEFktQX9Fe
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「他堅持不要通知你,但大家還是決定要告訴你。」363Please respect copyright.PENANACUjOaKAOIU
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「我明白了。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAAQpryy6xOA
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當晚,芙兒跟阿夏說要盡快回鄉宣佈婚訊、設喜宴。363Please respect copyright.PENANABp1AA4Xmpf
363Please respect copyright.PENANATqRTQtgA3Z
「你跟誰結婚?」阿夏詫異。363Please respect copyright.PENANA8rJvPhVVEd
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「你。」芙兒明白阿夏的不明白。363Please respect copyright.PENANAw42ZtLQ2MA
363Please respect copyright.PENANANMxowQPnAd
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?363Please respect copyright.PENANA07717ZWjtG
363Please respect copyright.PENANA5BCBMg1dG6
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。363Please respect copyright.PENANAVM4mKLtObJ
363Please respect copyright.PENANACdJPeZjsGI
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAlQPDw8xcAJ
363Please respect copyright.PENANAuHRDE1oth8
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。363Please respect copyright.PENANAUEkDv3sD5u
363Please respect copyright.PENANAJslQ5p8sbx
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。踱踱踱,時間有可能隨著步伐逆轉,帶她回到二十年前的那個晚上嗎?若明知結果,她還是會不阻止爸爸賣掉小荷嗎?363Please respect copyright.PENANAetKPBoW7c9
363Please respect copyright.PENANAx8ynSAToPf
老家陋宅裡,趁著阿夏上廁所的空檔,芙兒湊近芙爸耳邊直接問:「若明知結果,你還是會賣掉小荷嗎?」363Please respect copyright.PENANAt5N69U4hIN
363Please respect copyright.PENANAOkxLBFnlS3
「會。」氣若柔絲的芙爸斬釘截鐵:「因為我是當爸的。」363Please respect copyright.PENANARSHcnGt0Q2
363Please respect copyright.PENANAZ0R8ELjr5n
「若沒有遇上小荷,你會賣掉我嗎?」363Please respect copyright.PENANAyoIFvK1ne9
363Please respect copyright.PENANAVyv8oi3uLd
「會。因為你們兄妹倆都會活著。活著才會有希望。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAVii2895a0G
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芙兒大受刺激,轉身奪門而出。363Please respect copyright.PENANA3dMSICxumX
363Please respect copyright.PENANAU7oHt3yUyH
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上行人疏落,卻異裝同臉,小荷的臉。路中倏忽生出白蓮朵朵,蓮上皆有小彩鞋一隻。芙兒知道自己瘋了,眼前盡是幻覺。理智脫軌,她不再恐懼,像個十歲的少女那樣跳脫輕盈,一步踏一蓮,來到池邊。363Please respect copyright.PENANAlEiYZq5sud
363Please respect copyright.PENANAvk56g1zvW0
池邊有人,像小荷,像芙爸,像人口販子,像阿夏。她握著一隻彩色小鞋,木無表情直盯池中那朵大蓮花。芙兒走近女子,女子報以微笑,遞上手中小鞋。363Please respect copyright.PENANAxQ22TVD8dO
363Please respect copyright.PENANA76ILQfVrFO
芙兒接過它,模仿爸爸當晚的姿勢,以完美的拋物線弧度拋出小鞋。小鞋不偏不倚剛好落在池中央的蓮花上,有如二十年前的那夜。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。363Please respect copyright.PENANAtu5KX3m8Rb
363Please respect copyright.PENANAhsrkKhDGCJ
女人哈哈大笑起來,笑聲豁然開朗。芙兒腳下的白蓮和小鞋驀地消失隱去,唯獨女子依然完好站在面前。笑過以後,女子轉身離開,身影沒入林間不復見。363Please respect copyright.PENANAtO781r9kdl
363Please respect copyright.PENANAHGTaqbQxED
芙兒惘然——她不肯定對方是幻覺或是確切存在的真人。363Please respect copyright.PENANAFUmQXFJCDU
363Please respect copyright.PENANAcVfGsml48i
數日後,芙爸與世長辭。363Please respect copyright.PENANA7635936srv
363Please respect copyright.PENANATff90E0KhI
「既然不需要沖喜,你還會跟我結婚嗎?」363Please respect copyright.PENANAEgE8G2BXQ5
363Please respect copyright.PENANAit2TdwpDhK
「你想跟我結婚嗎?」363Please respect copyright.PENANADtdrFKKino
363Please respect copyright.PENANA5vySIcMrLK
「想。我愛你。」363Please respect copyright.PENANASoTCnwWok9
363Please respect copyright.PENANA04qDWZoIJa
「那就繼續吧。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAXxWkzXkLsJ
363Please respect copyright.PENANAn4o3qutrbI
喜慶夜,大排筵席。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,新郎是小荷,老爺是小荷,奶奶是小荷,滿堂皆是小荷。芙兒帶醉喜極而泣,感激小荷前來祝福她。363Please respect copyright.PENANA9ItBXr0b3R
363Please respect copyright.PENANAwNNFhnLmuv
宴後,賓客散去。醉得幾近失去意識的芙兒被攙扶到新房去。滾燙的臉龐忽爾涼涼的。她知道有人為她用濕毛巾抹臉抹汗。363Please respect copyright.PENANARThEnhFTsf
363Please respect copyright.PENANALloCEDKsJ2
「謝謝你……小荷……」363Please respect copyright.PENANAP8TRhUYQW0
363Please respect copyright.PENANAfiB1KU5D2g
「不用客氣……」363Please respect copyright.PENANApQZEUxRG9M
363Please respect copyright.PENANAbuq721yKWt
說著說著,阿夏哭了。晶瑩淚水沿著胖白的臉頰下滑,水靈大眼楚楚可憐。像小荷。363Please respect copyright.PENANArWS5r681v2