Sebastian – POV
The Saloon was buzzing with the usual chatter, a welcome distraction from the eerie green rain outside. Gus had thrown a sit-in party, encouraging everyone to stay indoors. Abigail and Sam were at the bar, laughing over a shared joke. I leaned against the wall, nursing a drink, my thoughts elsewhere.
The door swung open with a force that cut through the ambient noise. Alex stormed in, his eyes scanning the room until they locked onto me. His jaw clenched, and he marched over without hesitation.
"Sebastian," Alex's voice was low, simmering with anger. "We need to talk."
Abigail and Sam exchanged uneasy glances and Sam immediately rose out of his seat.
I didn't move, didn't even look up. "Not interested," I muttered, my tone cold.
Alex wasn't deterred. "You let her go," he spat, his fists tightening at his sides. "You told her it was okay to risk her life in those mines."
I finally met his gaze, my expression unreadable. "She made her own choice."
"Don't give me that," Alex shot back. "You care about her, don't you? Then how could you let her do something so reckless?"
The room seemed to shrink around us, the weight of his words pressing down on me. I took a slow sip of my drink, the bitterness matching the taste in my mouth.
"Care about her?" I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper. "You think I don't?"
Alex's eyes narrowed. "Then why didn't you stop her?"
I set my glass down with deliberate slowness. "Because she wouldn't have listened. She never does."
Sam, who had been watching the exchange with growing concern, stepped forward. "Alex, maybe you should—"
But Alex cut him off, his voice rising. "No, Sam. I need to know. How could he let her go? How could he let her do that?"
The room fell silent, all eyes on us. I could feel the heat of their stares, the judgment in the air. I rolled my eyes. What is this highschool?
Then, Alex dropped the bombshell. "She told me ten minutes ago," he said, his voice cracking slightly. "that she's in love with you and you don't even care about her safety."
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. My heart stuttered, and for a moment, I couldn't breathe.
Hannah... in love with me?
I had always kept my distance, always pushed her away, convinced that I was better off alone. But hearing this—hearing that she felt something for me—it shattered the walls I had so carefully built around myself.
I swallowed hard, trying to regain my composure. "You're lying," I said, but even I could hear the uncertainty in my voice.
Alex shook his head. "I'm not, I may not understand it, but I'm telling you the truth, and I will never understand why she does." He said coldly, then he stormed out of the Saloon with no further conversation.
"I don't know why she does either." I say quietly.
The weight of his words, of Hannah's confession, was too much to bear.
I didn't respond. I couldn't. The storm inside me was too fierce, too overwhelming. I grabbed a cigarette out of my pocket and made my way out of the Saloon. I don't care if this rain makes me grow a third arm, I'm getting out of here.
"Seb, wait," Abigail called after me, her voice slicing through the murmurs inside the Saloon.
I didn't stop. I just raised a hand behind me—a silent "don't"—and walked out into the strange green glow still bleeding across the valley.
The rain had slowed by the time I made it to the edge of my driveway. I flicked the burnt-out end of my cigarette into the wet grass and rolled up the garage door with more force than necessary. The clang echoed like a challenge.
I walked in and kicked the metal bucket near the door, sending it flying. It clattered across the concrete, useless and empty. Like how I felt.
I couldn't shake the numbness inside my chest. It wasn't new, but tonight it had a sharper edge. A bitterness I couldn't dull, even with the cigarettes or the silence or the constant overthinking.
I hate that I suppress every emotion I've ever had. Hate that I don't know how to hold joy for longer than a second without wondering what's the point?
What's the point of laughing when it always fades?23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigPvbqvwEk
What's the point of hoping when it always breaks?23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynYuqGH9dm
What's the point of feeling anything when you're wired to expect the worst?
People think I'm dramatic. That I'm trying to be dark or brooding like it's some kind of aesthetic. But it's not a choice. I was just...born this way. With a brain that eats joy and a heart that mistrusts anything that feels too good.
I don't wake up excited for anything. Not birthdays. Not concerts. Not even game launches.
When Sam and Abigail drink and start laughing uncontrollably, I fake a smile. I don't join them. I can't. Drinking doesn't loosen me up—it flips a switch. And the dark stuff underneath gets louder. It stops being quiet. It turns dangerous.
I expect people to leave. It's not pessimism—it's just pattern recognition. My mom's still here, yeah. Demetrius is around. Maru tries. But emotionally? I've been alone since I was a kid. At some point, I just...turned it all off. And I can't figure out how to turn it back on.
And now there's Hannah.
Hannah, who Alex says is in love with me.
I should feel something when I hear that. Joy. Shock. Anything. But instead, it terrifies me. Because I don't get it. I don't understand how someone could fall for me when I've spent years building walls to make sure no one ever could. What happens when she realizes I'm not someone worth waiting around for?
What happens if I try to be better—and still fail?
Even the word therapy makes me sick to my stomach. It sounds like peeling open wounds I've worked too hard to keep stitched shut.
"Sebby?" My mom's voice startled me. I turned and saw her in the doorway, hesitant but not backing away.
"Did you hear all that?" I asked, already guessing she had been at the Saloon. I still couldn't believe Alex aired out my entire life in front of everyone.
"I did," she said, stepping closer. "But I don't care about that. I'm worried about you."
I sighed, my shoulders dropping. I looked at her—really looked. Her green eyes were tired but kind, her red hair tucked behind her ear the same way she did when I was a kid and trying to hide how scared she was.
"I want you to listen to me, Sebastian." Her voice turned firm, the kind of tone that used to cut through all my sulking when I was younger. It snapped me back into place.
"I don't want what happened with your father and me to shape how you love. You hear me?"
I flinched at the word love. I hated how it made me feel—how it cracked me open from the inside.
"I'm not bothered by that," I lied flatly.
"You may not think you are. But somewhere inside, I think you've closed yourself off because you're afraid. Afraid someone else will leave you the way he did. And you'll do anything to prevent that pain again—even if it means pushing everyone away first."
I opened my mouth, closed it again. My throat tightened.
"I'm not afraid of people leaving me," I muttered. "I'm afraid of hurting... them."
I couldn't say her name. Couldn't let it out loud. Not when it still burned.
"You have to stay true to who you are, but isolation isn't noble, Seb. It's just lonely." She stepped forward and gently placed her hand on my arm. "Let someone love you. You keep saying you're not capable—but you weren't always like this."
I stared at the floor, trying to remember the version of me she was talking about.
"You used to smile so big when you caught frogs. You and Sam would laugh all night playing video games until I had to threaten to pull the power cord. You felt things, Sebastian. I know you still do. You're just afraid to let anyone see it."
Her voice cracked on the edges, but she smiled. "I didn't give up when your dad left. If I had, we wouldn't be here. We wouldn't have this home, or Demetrius, or Maru. And I know you don't always let them in, but I know you care."
"I do," I said quietly. Demetrius isn't my dad—but he's been more of one than I ever thought I'd get.
"You're more than the hoodies and the scowl. They're part of you, sure. But they're not all of you. You don't have to match the outside on the inside."
She leaned forward and kissed my head. And for the first time in years—I didn't pull away.
"I love you, Sebastian."
She walked back inside, leaving me in the quiet garage, alone with her words... and everything they cracked open.
And all I could think was:23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkK7MnvAzSt
If Hannah really does love me... maybe she sees something I've forgotten how to see in myself
23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfa6ddOv2Y
