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No Plagiarism!j4vDycmQDLLtQ0mKBnjiposted on PENANA 809Please respect copyright.PENANARMRfWXx4FN
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大家好,我叫頭生,是我媽用頭腦生出來的後生。8964 copyright protection805PENANA1Zc4lOI6vZ 維尼
今天要來為大家講一個故事:頭生抱豬。8964 copyright protection805PENANAhQdIfN6wq0 維尼
大家都有聽過「尾生抱柱」的故事吧?若沒有,我在這兒為各位提供懶人包《百度百科:尾生抱柱》。8964 copyright protection805PENANAzjlNFDFNXi 維尼
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簡單來說,就是古時候有個叫「尾生」的男子,打算和愛人私奔,兩人相約某座橋見面。是日,尾生先到橋下,還沒等到愛人的身影,傾盆大雨先來啦,那時雖然沒有像現在的極端氣候,可水利工程也沒今日發達,不一會兒,河水暴漲,尾生為了信守諾言,連逃走的念頭都沒有,抱著橋柱子,到幽都報到去了。8964 copyright protection805PENANAvZbzcEWgzN 維尼
後來,尾生的愛人來了,看到尾生如此,遂大哭,抱著其屍身,投入滔滔江水之中。8964 copyright protection805PENANAC3NvljVatd 維尼
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【插播】我媽的一點感慨:8964 copyright protection805PENANAf4Vg5f55pM 維尼
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現代科技真厲害,8964 copyright protection805PENANAFXn6cKkbEU 維尼
可以使用超連結,8964 copyright protection805PENANACnAbOHiFls 維尼
也能用A.I.;8964 copyright protection805PENANAl9f4LBHqmr 維尼
解釋不用多,8964 copyright protection805PENANABC01g7KcYM 維尼
連結給你看,8964 copyright protection805PENANA4hxxSligpz 維尼
不用絞腦汁,8964 copyright protection805PENANAdgendYKLsH 維尼
動一動手指,8964 copyright protection805PENANA1hIKugJNQB 維尼
套個好模式,8964 copyright protection805PENANASr7DvIkP05 維尼
文章翩翩來,8964 copyright protection805PENANArN5xo9ga4T 維尼
篇篇都參賽,8964 copyright protection805PENANAXe7rpDZRUI 維尼
啊~都參賽!!8964 copyright protection805PENANAtkAbYwTI4R 維尼
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回到正題,古人對於「尾生抱柱」這事,有人極力讚揚,認為是「遵守承諾」的極致;有人嗤之以鼻 (鼻毛在鼻孔裡翻飛不已),認為不知變通,這種「守諾」,只是「離名輕死,不念本養壽命者」啊。8964 copyright protection805PENANAgp02y9kUpM 維尼
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管他古人怎麼說,我不是很上心,直到這一天,我和愛人約在OO橋下,想要去看貓狗大展——順道一提,我的愛人超級喜歡貓,看到貓兒眼睛就發亮,什麼話題都能扯上貓,三句不離貓,只差沒親嚐貓糧了。8964 copyright protection805PENANAWCnViKbHNH 維尼
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貓狗大展的場地,距離OO橋不遠,我這人習慣早到,所以在約定時間前20分鐘,我就到了橋下,在線等。8964 copyright protection805PENANAhvDvJad939 維尼
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天氣不錯,還有微風,本想去看過貓狗大展後,還可以跟愛人到外頭踏踏青⋯⋯沒想到,計劃趕不上變化,本來微微吹拂的涼風,強度忽然增強,開始呼啊哈的狂吹起來;原先蔚藍的天空,不知道何時換了一種顏色:濛濛又暗暗的鐵灰色!!8964 copyright protection805PENANATTE34g59YI 維尼
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我抬頭望天,躊躇起來:我已經跟愛人約好了,如果現在離開,等下愛人來了找不到我怎麼辦?我是一個守信之人,不想輕易破壞承諾。8964 copyright protection805PENANASPNeqnADBE 維尼
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我的思緒尚在翻騰時,老天爺的膀胱似乎忍不住了——豆般大的雨點灑了下來,不一會兒,豆般大變成瓜般大,而且從小黃瓜變成大黃瓜變成櫛瓜變成絲瓜 (大條那種) 變成南瓜變成小玉西瓜,最後變成華寶西瓜!!8964 copyright protection805PENANAtJoBvjEwzN 維尼
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更慘的是,橋下的河水,開始暴漲起來!!8964 copyright protection805PENANAgS0LK9p3H6 維尼
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就算腿還不短的我,也已經被漲起來的河水醃製淹至膝蓋啦。8964 copyright protection805PENANAa8LwtQRgwZ 維尼
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「媽呀!!我是逃不逃?To run for good or not to run for good, that is the question.」8964 copyright protection805PENANAnjx8hDUbmb 維尼
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正當我還在思考時,下一波河水已然衝上來,我一個重心不穩,摔入水中!!完了完了,好歹要抱著橋柱⋯⋯啊,不是,應該是逃離現場,結果錯過時機 (扼腕ing~8964 copyright protection805PENANALrR8FVxgQK 維尼
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我在水裡載浮載沉,連呼救也不能,一張口,髒污的河水就迫不及待朝我嘴巴灌,還發出歡欣愉快的隆隆聲,「媽 der!!」我就算不是體育健將,好歹也參加過運動會,甚至還成了運動會的黑馬,怎可敗在無法預測的天氣上面?8964 copyright protection805PENANATQMKYw94y8 維尼
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不是說「人定勝天」嗎?8964 copyright protection805PENANA1eZBeITXCv 維尼
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我出門前還確認過老天爺的眼神,就是少算一步,沒確認其「脬」,什麼地方不好約,竟然約在橋下,這下我完啦~8964 copyright protection805PENANAYt1txbjL7m 維尼
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我放鬆身姿,隨波逐流,算啦,反正我是頭生,我媽要把我 Deleted,易如反掌,還好我媽目前還沒有移情別戀,演一齣「寫手之『愛』大亂鬥」,所以就算我這個頭生,沒了,還有千千萬萬個頭生⋯⋯8964 copyright protection805PENANAihEahG1GwC 維尼
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正在胡思亂想之際,我的眼角忽然瞥見一個棕色身影,定睛一瞧:是隻水豚!!牠正悠遊自在的與水共舞,好~可~愛~啊~8964 copyright protection805PENANAz04PkIEJVj 維尼
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不對!!不,對!!水豚善水啊,瞧牠開心的模樣,根本就是逮到機會出來放風⋯⋯看樣子,是從貓狗大展的場地跑出來的,天助我也,豬救我也!!8964 copyright protection805PENANAp7ds2cfcCv 維尼
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「水豚君,我來啦!!」我手腳並用,游到這隻可愛的大水豚旁邊,吃力跨上牠的背,緊緊抱著這個救命恩豬,然後,隨著牠漂流四方,從此遠走天涯⋯⋯8964 copyright protection805PENANAv2neSAicOZ 維尼
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沒有啦。8964 copyright protection805PENANAKiS7TKKly1 維尼
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體感時間約一週後,雨不再下,河水也慢慢退了,水豚君和我被搜救人員找到,還上了電視新聞的跑馬燈!!8964 copyright protection805PENANAmLMlLTKWhs 維尼
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從此,我再也不買單「尾生抱柱」的淒美精神,變成莊子的信徒;至於水豚君,已經是我的神,我將牠的照片做成手機和電腦桌面,一開機就能看見,日日對牠獻上我的感謝。8964 copyright protection805PENANAgQFvxTIWEJ 維尼
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哦,我的「愛」人呢?8964 copyright protection805PENANA5nKILBwTiG 維尼
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這問題,飄蕩在春風裡,而答案,沒有人在意。8964 copyright protection805PENANABxEcwJ6MMI 維尼
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(Fin)8964 copyright protection805PENANAXGh14mE7lm 維尼
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我純粹是來拿參賽徽章,雖然寫得快 (其實也用了約 1 小時),但完全出於自己腦袋;至於上述情節,如有雷同,那就雷同吧。8964 copyright protection805PENANAEe3IIGTLBW 維尼
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封面原畫作者是 Marianne von Werefkin (1860-1938)。作者去世70年以上,其著作財產權已經消滅,原畫圖檔屬於公有領域 (public domain),任何人均可使用。8964 copyright protection805PENANA2NOqVTleM8 維尼
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【Apr/14/2024 更新,注意!!】8964 copyright protection805PENANAsJsgGJnyKv 維尼
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〖不甩飼養員!40kg 水豚「3天連襲2遊客」 她遭撲倒狂咬⋯⋯縫9針躺醫院2週〗(已縮址)8964 copyright protection805PENANAxtDVGFa0Ch 維尼
https://reurl.cc/OMb3my8964 copyright protection805PENANApzsPK3RWVM 維尼
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剛才看到這則「新」聞,想不到水豚這麼重 (40 kg),而且也不想令讀者以為水豚的脾氣很好 (雖然大多數的水豚應該都很溫馴吧,我想~),所以把新聞連結放在上方,希望大家去動物園看水豚時,還是要留意自身安全。8964 copyright protection805PENANAZCBCzKveRV 維尼
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