以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLrI7JH80A
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmBur2TR2Y
感謝參與～123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8hUDzwTmy
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQH7vAO5Dm
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHL3MxAr6B2
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNE9ALKf7Y
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRSjJXPIdO
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVJzjCfq4i
～～～～分隔線～～～～123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSklYIHIubd
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqFXRPrW0c
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69JspozDED
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZcbeTo4n0
〈限制和自由〉123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FWclmdZiG
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcChgEZaeUa
penana.com/article/1024895123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZ6FEYdlaX
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dTj8FUjLa
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2HzOdwbeJ
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHixdb1iS3
詩度 0。123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yyuBs9qxK
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnG9dJi7K04
～～～～分隔線～～～～123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZCLq07FDg
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuH7XGKZEsw
〈問〉123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenaw9DCJqx
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpCXszVjcC
penana.com/article/1024944123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjd4ZRJ7yUu
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZEzJ2WQJl
詩度高一點。123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWQYjx23Tp
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ483Vd94Myh
～～～～分隔線～～～～123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnOVwkMAUr
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkKQePLXjo
〈摩天之輪〉123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItTVKCBho4
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtF6vT4it6
penana.com/article/1045705123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULYwrqXsps
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuf8CIWOAV0
詩度再高一點。
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSr8noBOlnF
～～～～分隔線～～～～
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4dHHKuwcv
〈蝴蝶酥〉123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IHy55WF8F
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgwSoACE2m
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMKS7rwIdx
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JOVApJzbT
詩度比前三首都高。
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9r1THUPZw
～～～～分隔線～～～～
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxp3Y6SPzw
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbt4h2txzge
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvapI1ZOwR
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LdJy3ZrYP
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67zuVnNHvj
跟你分享。
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZa7ef2bxG
～～～～分隔線～～～～
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qRLigpkWj
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8d6wCeRQhK
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsY7ftHyr87
【認識新詩的基本元素】123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYC23iAJhFx
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6qnWGMvvo
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHfwEJ2EDz
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsi8oInLAdz
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKuDI6diuC
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdY7mkPQ0K2
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAryjGtSe0
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneCp9G4XhM
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOTfs0Lkbc
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAplckggSn
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8vj7ZGnGV
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPAtbeLopJ
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xQIy0nmsG
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmYD45XQP4
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZFfEywkyo
【這次全新寫的感想】
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOS5Y1xByIZ
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8bDGMwTuU
〈詠栗〉
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvymPA6oqDl
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkQwKIMfpS
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8arLoaayG
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYRx1TovK5
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVeSU9Cahz
如果寫成
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MABVdeThE
〈詠栗〉
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUwKRwaDMc
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkdk15cTfU
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgz9EsWi0Z
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1TMOOndIK
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MFUUHVAH1
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPu3V1J46K5
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
123Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYVcSFVo55
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
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