作者: 譚嘉燕 FB PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/katetam1228/?ref=bookmarks
之學坐在郵輪自助餐廳的窗旁享受著她的美好早餐,看著眼前那一望無際的閃閃大海和藍天,隱約她還能從人潮聲之中聽到那海浪的節拍聲,她真正體驗到什麼是簡單而美好的時光。496Please respect copyright.PENANAja39tPnJMQ
496Please respect copyright.PENANAdr5Tqdaly2
496Please respect copyright.PENANAQCyuua9e6D
「這問這位子有人坐嗎?」一聲不識相的男聲劃破了之學的沉思。496Please respect copyright.PENANALH7dLIVCmz
496Please respect copyright.PENANAIM0UpGezsk
496Please respect copyright.PENANAKzI1XDcfj0
之學轉臉望著她眼前的男子,他正指著她對面的座位。496Please respect copyright.PENANAww60Zc6yej
496Please respect copyright.PENANAUP0uFt9S9S
496Please respect copyright.PENANAmD2WsoojTh
「沒有人喔。」雖然之學不喜歡也不習慣和陌生人同桌吃飯,但她環觀四看餐廳的座位的確都滿人了,她也要識相的遷就一下囉。496Please respect copyright.PENANAUT97N3os1U
496Please respect copyright.PENANAO0cHoZni55
496Please respect copyright.PENANAz1mWhq1bRD
男子禮貌道謝後就放下他的深藍色小背包,再走到食物區挑選他的早餐搭配。看到這位男子這麼放心的就這樣把背包放在她這個陌生人面前,之學覺得好不可思議。496Please respect copyright.PENANAzKp3EXkN0X
496Please respect copyright.PENANAustBTm3HpL
496Please respect copyright.PENANAGOFSPSCPZI
之學是一個警覺心和疑心都很重的人,她對世界充滿不安全感和危機感,這次她能獨自一人參與郵輪觀光之旅,都是經她的朋友和家人遊說了一年,給她看過好多他人對郵輪之旅的正面評價與讚賞,她自己也搜尋了很多關於郵輪的資訊,確認郵輪是一個很安全的交通工具,她才鼓起無比的勇氣報名參加。496Please respect copyright.PENANA00pn2Qn9RL
496Please respect copyright.PENANAJxOF6PRMiE
496Please respect copyright.PENANAxurUJvLmRD
出發前的一個月之學還緊張到經常失眠,但她真的好想嘗試去看看外面的世界。她已經28歲了,還沒試過到外地旅遊,她想嘗試旅遊的滋味,開闊眼界。496Please respect copyright.PENANAR8IVajIk1G
496Please respect copyright.PENANAZhyh1tYKi0
496Please respect copyright.PENANArTJM3KgatB
很快的,男子已經拿好食物,再次在之學面前坐下。男子穿著灰色T恤和黑色七分褲,手上戴著一支運動型的手錶,感覺年輕之學兩、三歲吧。496Please respect copyright.PENANARKsFEpJX1l
496Please respect copyright.PENANAGGWlH04htr
496Please respect copyright.PENANAFbgnXBX9wt
之學好奇地偷瞄他選擇的食物:一杯冰牛奶、一小盤雜菜水果沙拉、兩塊炸魚柳和一隻半生熟的煎蛋。496Please respect copyright.PENANAAhrsCBPun0
496Please respect copyright.PENANAwuaGP1phkI
496Please respect copyright.PENANAoI08PNP6qe
「真勇敢!」之學暗付。這些都是她出門在外會避免進食的食物,首先牛奶容易讓人拉肚子、而且炸物又熱氣,如果喉嚨痛就慘了,半生熟的食物又不知道會不會影響腸胃,人在外地如果身體有不適都會很麻煩,所以她挑選食物都會很小心,她的早餐只吃麵包或者三文治,也只喝熱巧克力。496Please respect copyright.PENANAG1a7GQFabJ
496Please respect copyright.PENANAxhY4VCspaW
496Please respect copyright.PENANACsMOFnpssS
男子看到之學皺眉的神情,不禁莞爾,他知道她一定在心裡擰頭自己的早餐居然專吃她避之則吉的食物。496Please respect copyright.PENANAABC6DuQSHk
496Please respect copyright.PENANAXMOvFQYKV8
496Please respect copyright.PENANAjzx1tEb8rw
「妳要吃看看嗎?」男子指著碟上的一塊炸魚柳。496Please respect copyright.PENANAGz5CJYgOsi
496Please respect copyright.PENANATVq64KQEIp
496Please respect copyright.PENANAHIJS1TdaSl
之學臉頰泛起紅暈,她覺得自己盯著別人的食物看好失禮,恨不得現在可以挖個洞把自己鑽進去。496Please respect copyright.PENANApxMEvrrrPF
496Please respect copyright.PENANAydMhO9obry
496Please respect copyright.PENANAhEdi5Ofold
「我問一下而已,妳不要太緊張。」之學的反應當然也看在男子的眼裡。496Please respect copyright.PENANA8y5wMis9wy
496Please respect copyright.PENANAOh83YxfygA
496Please respect copyright.PENANACjygCsGH3V
「我叫阿彌,今次我是自己一個人去旅行,妳呢?」阿彌嘗試打開話題。496Please respect copyright.PENANAPhPthKb7oZ
496Please respect copyright.PENANAAHaqRmzaLU
496Please respect copyright.PENANArPwRMKFEog
微涼的海風吹過之學的臉,趕走了她的尷尬。496Please respect copyright.PENANAI0Bdqup9i6
496Please respect copyright.PENANAaNceGukqVO
496Please respect copyright.PENANAwns4ci4tkp
之學今天穿了一件印著卡通小熊的黑色T恤和綴著白色蕾絲邊的粉紅色短褲,因為一張娃娃臉,很多人都誤以為她只有22、23歲左右。她的臉頰帶著些許零星的雀斑,但阿彌覺得這是特色,反而不是缺處。496Please respect copyright.PENANApJBt44B9yl
496Please respect copyright.PENANAmge9zPnnz4
496Please respect copyright.PENANABHc5T3fISp
「我叫之學。我有跟朋友一起來啦,只是她們還沒起床。」之學編了一個謊言,面對著一個陌生男子,她不想對方知道她是獨自一人來旅遊,感覺好危險。496Please respect copyright.PENANAfK12wC6xvL
496Please respect copyright.PENANAwrRoFMitat
496Please respect copyright.PENANAUg4hJawmfD
「喔。」阿彌只簡單一聲回應,沒有多說什麼。496Please respect copyright.PENANAhQwFCVGsrd
496Please respect copyright.PENANAIXY2Njz6X9
496Please respect copyright.PENANAEDaNHfcACm
他們之間回復安靜的氣氛。496Please respect copyright.PENANAyEQwOEDFGI
496Please respect copyright.PENANAI00WOJodRc
496Please respect copyright.PENANA36fhjtCyct
「你喝冰牛奶不會怕肚子痛嗎?」這次是之學先開口。496Please respect copyright.PENANAv4h4sgJiJb
496Please respect copyright.PENANAugFfCFMiQg
496Please respect copyright.PENANAYu7x2I6NGu
「不會怕呀,我的腸胃沒這麼差,而且拉肚子就吃藥就好啦,不用因噎廢食吧。」阿彌從容回答,再咕嚕咕嚕地喝了一大口牛奶。496Please respect copyright.PENANAL5D7LCbkwn
496Please respect copyright.PENANALwkeWzLFpp
496Please respect copyright.PENANAUAoCXx5YeB
「妳是不是試過喝冰牛奶然後拉肚子的慘痛經歷?」阿彌放下杯子,不經意問起。496Please respect copyright.PENANAQcgZKANZwY
496Please respect copyright.PENANA25QIym4sqD
496Please respect copyright.PENANAgDijJh4cMv
「嗯……好像是有過這樣的經歷。」之學清楚記得,小時候她曾經因為喝了冰牛奶後上吐下瀉的慘痛經歷,而且她媽媽不但沒有安撫生病的她,還不斷責備她吃錯東西好愚蠢,嘔吐又弄髒地方,看醫生又要用到錢,怪怨她超級麻煩。往後的日子之學都好怕自己會生病,於是長大後的她非常注重養生,吃東西又很小心翼翼,就算身體有毛病,她都會暪著家人看醫生。496Please respect copyright.PENANA8XrUwaEMp9
496Please respect copyright.PENANAi2WB05QQIs
496Please respect copyright.PENANAnFEeK106pn
阿彌溫和起來,語氣也非常認真和正經:「不用這樣過份憂慮,注意身體健康是好事,但過度了就不好。恐懼只源於妳的內心,不是那杯冰牛奶,也不是任何外在環境。」496Please respect copyright.PENANAVjEclb7zuC
496Please respect copyright.PENANAYvgCKnYAYK
496Please respect copyright.PENANAFa1hcvY6p9
之學沒有回應,只在心裡反覆這句話:恐懼源於妳的內心,不在於任何外在環境。496Please respect copyright.PENANA82P2bQ7gxC
496Please respect copyright.PENANAfOehhttEM3
496Please respect copyright.PENANAPRUIxjw8cB
——————————————————————————496Please respect copyright.PENANAHLnsYi3Qdt
496Please respect copyright.PENANADQqkr6IINN
496Please respect copyright.PENANAKMlHeNiTI6
下午的時段是陸上的觀光時間,在指定區集合後,之學就聽從旅行社導遊的安排下船過關,再到境內旅遊。496Please respect copyright.PENANAjUKhazzjC4
496Please respect copyright.PENANA3JBJ3PAUf7
496Please respect copyright.PENANAVIFQjMVhGT
經過十年的時光,之學終於來到她渴望旅行的地點:台灣。她盤算了多年的事情,因著各種擔憂的想像,還是鼓不起勇氣,但今年她下定決心要給自己突破。雖然去旅行是開心事,又有很多人都嘗試過,不是什麼特別的大事情,但每個人都有著自己獨特的性情及人生,在之學的眼中,這就是突破,也只有她自己能定義自己的親身經歷。496Please respect copyright.PENANAXXvy07zXRD
496Please respect copyright.PENANAiNtX1WTesV
496Please respect copyright.PENANA2N7ZPg23M6
下船之後,之學才發現阿彌和她都是同一間旅行社的團友,只是不同組別,但他們基本上都是會一起渡過這觀光時間的。496Please respect copyright.PENANAxOtLqj8fiN
496Please respect copyright.PENANAjyZVqgolWX
496Please respect copyright.PENANAICbA0u2KcA
「有沒有這麼巧合呀。」之學又泛起疑心,但她察覺不到自己心裡也有點小高興。496Please respect copyright.PENANATVq6zUdHz1
496Please respect copyright.PENANAKf0y3wtt8k
496Please respect copyright.PENANAPyeq3KifFK
旅行社一行四團觀光團,他們首先坐車到十分風景區。496Please respect copyright.PENANAKg87q7pORj
496Please respect copyright.PENANAtXtjKlbyOu
496Please respect copyright.PENANAPzSw6PEfAN
坐車過程中領隊不斷以開朗的聲線介紹景點背後的歷史,也故意的講幾個笑話去炒熱氣氛,大家都笑得很愉快,只有之學一人緊握雙手,把注意力投放玻璃窗外的景色,希望可以助她分神。她其實也會害怕坐車子,馬路如虎口,她在香港的時候都只會坐地鐵,感覺比較有安全感。496Please respect copyright.PENANA3mpAn8AdEO
496Please respect copyright.PENANAEansxeg8l0
496Please respect copyright.PENANAzQfoaCs5c8
此時,隔壁組的旅遊車也漸漸趕上之學坐的旅遊車的速度,之學看到阿彌的身影,他們視線迎上的一刻,阿彌展開開朗的笑容和她揮手,他的燦爛笑容彷彿好像世上沒有任何事可以難倒他,但之學只能強顏歡笑跟他揮手。496Please respect copyright.PENANACSPk1dhuVs
496Please respect copyright.PENANAEUbp5QCbwT
496Please respect copyright.PENANAGLug6mnDMe
她想起了他的話:恐懼源於妳的內心。所以,她覺得坐車有危險,她覺得不安,並不代表現實就會像她想像中般危險,她的感覺並不代表現實中事情走向……496Please respect copyright.PENANAiNauuwv9IN
496Please respect copyright.PENANAvElicVaWCB
496Please respect copyright.PENANA6xAqYw2auK
一下車,身處明媚的大自然之中,之學也漸漸放鬆了一點。她喜歡身處大自然的山山水水之中,一片綠油油的顏色彷彿帶著安撫的作用,可以讓她安心下來,舒緩她的神經緊張。496Please respect copyright.PENANAC3E5nygnS0
496Please respect copyright.PENANAqyJf1SAxmD
496Please respect copyright.PENANAi1UfnMLSh1
不過,原來要到觀光的瀑布區,先要走過一座木吊橋,這是之學始料未及的。原來多猜度、多擔心也好,總有事情是突如其來要去打開心房接納。496Please respect copyright.PENANAyTXmGwM37J
496Please respect copyright.PENANAIwLvfHj7Qp
496Please respect copyright.PENANAiaNCXJC8sH
雖然吊橋看上去非常穩固,也已經有無數人安全踏過去,但還是有恐懼在之學心中滋生,令她動彈不得。496Please respect copyright.PENANAglDTsimqU6
496Please respect copyright.PENANASClLREkuIG
496Please respect copyright.PENANAj2mMP2vnQ7
導遊忙於照顧一些年紀較老邁的團友,不自覺忽略了之學面有難色,還提高聲量催促她:「梁小姐要加緊腳步囉,我們在吊橋對面等妳吧。」496Please respect copyright.PENANAmZgeD7hqOV
496Please respect copyright.PENANAqlfJT6xon0
496Please respect copyright.PENANAQKSMmZctK4
之學留意到那幾位老人家身上都貼著一個標籤,但礙於輕微的近視,她看不清楚細節。而這樣的催促令之學更為著急和焦慮,她也失落於為何導遊沒有關心她不尋常的緩慢,因為她是年輕人就沒有需要被照顧嗎?一股不滿與被忽略感在她心中油然而生。496Please respect copyright.PENANAvLZ2MGvwEU
496Please respect copyright.PENANAVC6yYvd5Re
496Please respect copyright.PENANAEQB0CSFHDM
然而倏地,之學的左手被一股溫熱包裹著,不等她回應,也趁著她反應不過來就拖著她的手向前跨出一大步。496Please respect copyright.PENANAhGOOhmxntY
496Please respect copyright.PENANAxBLvekZSrm
496Please respect copyright.PENANAc9Y3Ssjk6k
阿彌打起精神:「準備好囉,我們一起走過去吧。」說畢就拉著之學的手一股氣向前衝去。496Please respect copyright.PENANABDItjg04Qu
496Please respect copyright.PENANA4JTiLnBEqR
496Please respect copyright.PENANARuXbc8yJeA
之學沒法處理眼前的狀況,她只好任由阿彌帶領她穿梭於橋上的人群,以不太快速又俐落的步伐一直向前,直到橋的對岸。496Please respect copyright.PENANAOSUFxYrHnf
496Please respect copyright.PENANAk9vfMNi02P
496Please respect copyright.PENANAzcXTEZuoIy
被動地一直向前走著的之學,她的恐懼已被一片剌激感取代,莫名地她覺得好安心,白色百摺裙子也在陽光下飛揚著。496Please respect copyright.PENANA48Qcb9jFTM
496Please respect copyright.PENANAU2qng3obsB
496Please respect copyright.PENANAACelRMng7h
到達對岸後,阿彌才鬆開手,他們都微微喘著氣,但又覺得很好玩。496Please respect copyright.PENANAjvVRj6fV86
496Please respect copyright.PENANApVmE6Hx0CQ
496Please respect copyright.PENANAGDLJBizZzG
阿彌從背包拿出一條白色毛巾擦汗:「怎麼樣,現在不害怕了吧?」496Please respect copyright.PENANABtx18F8uPK
496Please respect copyright.PENANAeveBwaO3ie
496Please respect copyright.PENANA6t2e4jh6Wu
之學抬頭,雖然說話時嘴巴有一點點微抖,但眼睛潔白明亮:「你嚇死我了啦,下次先給我一點心理準備嘛。」496Please respect copyright.PENANAthWcnbVOXh
496Please respect copyright.PENANA9rc0cLvBRj
496Please respect copyright.PENANAMVqhUsy1aq
阿彌面不改色:「給時間妳考慮妳只會愈來愈多想像,最後只會更害怕!總之妳只要想著對岸有漂亮的風景等妳,妳就能多點動力和無畏了,反正前方總有吸引著妳的東西,妳才會敢於冒險。」496Please respect copyright.PENANA7gCa8kyfVs
496Please respect copyright.PENANADlqiJ8QHLL
496Please respect copyright.PENANAHfv7A7Nou5
之學有點傻呼呼地回應:「喔,也是。」496Please respect copyright.PENANAuH9jnzwNG2
496Please respect copyright.PENANAm28Iz3FmeM
496Please respect copyright.PENANAhaajBrkvSr
阿彌帶點曖昧地在她耳邊說:「而且妳知道嗎,聽說在高空的地方呀,那種緊張感會讓人產生喜歡別人的錯覺喔。」掉下這句曖昧不明的話後,他就瀟灑地向前走去,追趕導遊的步伐。496Please respect copyright.PENANAnvTggoQ11E
496Please respect copyright.PENANAjK4lmIpuvn
496Please respect copyright.PENANA9QpcpFeJj5
在這幾天的旅程中,阿彌有意無意都會在之學身邊出沒,特別是在她感到恐慌和無助時,但因為阿彌的舉止都維持著風度,讓防衛心很強的之學並沒有感到什麼不安,她猜可能獨自一人行動都是或多或少會有一點寂寞吧,找個人聊一下天,互動一下也是不錯。496Please respect copyright.PENANAcSqQga4XWd
496Please respect copyright.PENANAhR11m7TfME
496Please respect copyright.PENANAgFEHKEZsr6
另外,這郵輪上的不少旅客好像特別容易心生不滿,繼而與別人發生磨擦,最後讓自己怒髮衝冠、鬱結難宣似的。某一次的晚餐時間,在非常華麗、又具三層樓高的主餐廳裡,某個身型很龐大又穿得異常優雅的少婦突然發怒把侍應臭罵一頓,與她的形象大徑相庭,而原因只不過是因為旁人的牛排比她的大塊一點,她就一口咬定侍應偏心,還有指控侍應藐視她肥胖,不讓她多吃食物。之學只覺得那個女人活得好累。496Please respect copyright.PENANAMOmufcezvM
496Please respect copyright.PENANACL4o34QMsa
496Please respect copyright.PENANAuRsHoLhGdF
到了第三天,他們一行人同遊水族館。有一條大鯨魚在之學身旁游過,吸引著她的眼球,流動著的光暗映照在她的臉上。在阿彌眼中,之學彷彿變回一個小孩子般興奮在其中暢遊著。496Please respect copyright.PENANAwqevG2dwhA
496Please respect copyright.PENANALFHPQKMrBD
496Please respect copyright.PENANAuNt3OkDJgQ
過程中阿彌替之學拍了好幾張照片,在手機鏡頭下,他的視野之中就只有她。在這微暗的海洋世界裡,有阿彌在身旁,之學覺得她的焦慮世界好像也有一絲絲變化。最後離場時,阿彌買了一隻卡通魔鬼魚鑰匙圈給之學,就因為她取笑他像一隻魔鬼魚,所以他要她一直掛這鑰匙圈在她身上。496Please respect copyright.PENANAZiwLrib52W
496Please respect copyright.PENANAv2IqlGc7Es
496Please respect copyright.PENANAr0RnSzozlQ
——————————————————————————496Please respect copyright.PENANA63nNFdYnTO
496Please respect copyright.PENANAx2hhjcBNkg
496Please respect copyright.PENANAMcmiY74wyW
下船的前一天晚上,之學和阿彌相約在六樓的一間小酒吧裡聊天。之學知道阿彌談過三次戀愛、喜歡深藍色、喜歡喝白酒、討厭吃青豆、更討厭吃西瓜、家裡養了一頭貓咪、平常下班後喜歡窩在朋友家聊天……496Please respect copyright.PENANADRkoMZl7zd
496Please respect copyright.PENANAJIyA3yMwZH
496Please respect copyright.PENANA1Q9XfiMFl0
快到酒吧打烊時,之學忍不住問他:「到底你是什麼人呀?你是故意要認識我的嗎?」雖然這樣問,之學也覺得有點害羞,好像別人有多想認識自己似的。496Please respect copyright.PENANA8JGwxZD7Su
496Please respect copyright.PENANAaJwjBw1ZDa
496Please respect copyright.PENANAo2vOvaxibj
阿彌指著之學的左胸口,細心解釋,也打開謎底:「妳都沒發現嗎?妳衣服的左胸位置一直貼著『小心易碎』的貼紙。活在壓迫感的都市,城市人對於處理事情的態度都處於崩緊的狀態,讓愈來愈多人的性情都很敏感和脆弱,所以政府決定把這些人都貼上『小心易碎』,讓他人可以有所防範,在他們面前可以更小心翼翼,免得觸碰到他們的情緒。但為了治根,政府還是為你們安排了這敞郵輪治療之旅,他們安排了一比一的心理醫生,希望在這七天旅程中,讓你們放鬆下來,也嘗試把開心房,了解自己焦慮背後的原因,學習重拾對世界的一點信任。」496Please respect copyright.PENANAVGswOK3tmk
496Please respect copyright.PENANA2jivahJFwV
496Please respect copyright.PENANAOW2SNV1tY3
聽完阿彌一口氣的解說,之學才醒覺自己是『小心易碎』的那一群被標籤著的族群,她更多時候會忘了她給標籤的事情,因為標籤是別人貼上的,她從沒這樣標籤過她自己。此刻她恍然大悟:「你接近我果然有目標。」496Please respect copyright.PENANAPMi4Pr6uF5
496Please respect copyright.PENANAw2RKh18xFD
496Please respect copyright.PENANAAhpfU2RiPP
阿彌攤攤手:「但出發點都是為了妳著想嘛,妳沒有發現自己的標貼已經較之前褪色?」496Please respect copyright.PENANAfg6ot4uC87
496Please respect copyright.PENANAEorj5LhUIL
496Please respect copyright.PENANAZWfRkq8hCo
之學用手指沿著玻璃杯緣打圈,低喃:「也是啦。」496Please respect copyright.PENANAtE8uPbzVyj
496Please respect copyright.PENANAoooOwJOmje
496Please respect copyright.PENANAh3fRIMNDC6
阿彌突然蹦出這句:「不過就算我不是負責開導妳的工作人員,在這船上,我也會主動認識妳吧。」496Please respect copyright.PENANAAe2gvlB304
496Please respect copyright.PENANAf7dc0250pV
496Please respect copyright.PENANAGSDpwTjf6U
之學眼睛一亮、心跳加快:「你說什麼?」其實她聽得很清楚,但也想再聽一次確認。496Please respect copyright.PENANApnRhE2rqRj
496Please respect copyright.PENANAUSkRgbCPdW
496Please respect copyright.PENANAajiHASxUAo
阿彌裝模作樣:「沒有呀,好話不說第二遍。」說畢他就站起來想轉身走人。496Please respect copyright.PENANAzHXZuwCLH1
496Please respect copyright.PENANAJnYqKf1yZA
496Please respect copyright.PENANAdJb5z7ZoBc
之學也心急從座位彈起來:「喂,我明明聽到你說的話,不要裝傻。」496Please respect copyright.PENANA79vzkpvQW2
496Please respect copyright.PENANA2N0JQtPqS4
496Please respect copyright.PENANAnHTS5HViJg
最後他們的聲音也化為一片笑鬧聲音……496Please respect copyright.PENANAbwJ5oKEHyC
作者: 譚嘉燕 FB PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/katetam1228/?ref=bookmarks496Please respect copyright.PENANAL9W4wtuuqg