國小二年級的我是一個很受歡迎的孩子。
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「大家快過來看！」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVZbHiVRqZ
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只要我一個號令，同學們就會像嗅到甜味的螞蟻般一窩蜂圍上來。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aKWfxM9hV
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「什麼什麼？」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kaPVWgnvJ
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「楠楠我也要看！」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqlVl5y8oB
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我回過身看向聞聲而來的同學們，故作成熟的清了清喉嚨。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWH9UCZSzo
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「你們看我！」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkhxw52PMq
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我亮出掌心約兩個指節長的小紅花，捏住尾端後吸了一口。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9jhyU3ivH
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隨著蜜香在舌尖擴散，同學們紛紛爆出驚叫。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GRslTWnlO
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「楠楠！」一個女生忽然拉住我的袖子哭喊，「老師說吃小草會死翹翹啦！」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6pDMnNHnf
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「嘔…」幾名試圖模仿我的男同學瞬間臉色大變，爭先恐後吐出一堆不知名的草本植物。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTQ6LIN2rj
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我不哭反笑，「吃這種紅紅的花不會死掉哦！」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Xf0KdJmbf
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我指著一叢由幾十朵紅花組成的半圓球體「這是矮仙丹花，和糖果一樣甜甜的。」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68HvAV99oj
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我邊說邊遞一朵給方才的辮子女孩，在她小心翼翼地輕啜一口後，臉上的恐懼瞬間被驚喜所取代。「好甜！」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kYLwPS14w
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「對吧～」我勾起嘴角比出一個勝利的V字。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTx9e6jmJjl
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周圍的孩子見此情景漸漸放下心，各自跑開採花去了。一節下課就在眾人的歡聲笑語中度過。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1ApLUw4qk
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鐘聲響起，我宛如率領羊群的牧羊犬，走在眾人的最前頭。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0Xxh6oQ8F
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「楠楠我們下次玩什麼？」一個女生發問。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJeixqUaMM
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我笑著回答：「我想玩躲貓貓！」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ476QTxTeRC
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「好啊！」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpfviTafRf
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沒有人反駁我的提議，大家的臉上只有期待和欣喜，以及對我的順從。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHBpvk0jzz
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國小二年級的我位於人際關係金字塔的頂端，不僅對自己很有自信，也深得大家的喜愛。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7wI1CRMe3
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無論從哪個方面看來都是個無比幸福的孩子。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQFa60W5Uz
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「爸爸！」我邁開步伐朝校門口那個西裝筆挺的身影撲過去。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLG2QX3hQj
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爸爸張開雙臂把我擁入懷中，雙手支撐我的腋下將我高高舉起。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CMTu5gRmX
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我高聲歡呼享受雙腳懸空的快感。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0BnNMjFue
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「爸爸今天怎麼這麼早下班？」落地後，我甩開遮住視線的瀏海仰頭看他。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZlHLTdO5U
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爸爸溫柔地揉揉我的頭髮：「想給我們家小楠一個驚喜就提早回來啦。」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo37Yxt0mfJ
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我興奮地跳起來，蹦蹦跳跳走向路邊銀色的小轎車。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGSTJ2K9IN
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坐上汽車後座後，爸爸一如往常放了一大把糖果在我的裙子上。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGyJe6pdhk
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車內的燈是亮著的，五彩繽紛的糖果紙閃著誘人的光，讓人目不暇給。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8bCejut68
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猶豫再三，我拿起扁平的琥珀色棒棒糖，拆開透明包裝紙放入口中。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNZDPFe5iF
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「又選棒棒糖？小楠這麼喜歡棒棒糖啊。」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7gaNwyIfL
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「嗯！」我笑得燦爛，「但我更喜歡爸爸！」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3GEGK3TCk
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前座的爸爸溫柔地回應我：「爸爸也好愛妳。爸爸全世界最愛的就是妳跟妳媽媽了。」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFGpLBFlAd
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「嘻嘻爸爸最棒了！」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwpEDGeoci
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我舔著白色塑膠桿上的麥芽糖，麥香伴隨濃郁的甜盈滿口腔。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5e55ZSQRg2
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如同我的小學二年級，甜美且純粹。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ723yBLs4xS
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升上四年級後，我的綽號從「楠楠」，變成了「棒棒糖」。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonuTcJY1UT
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因為爸爸是糖果食品公司的員工，我們家的零食櫃裡從來不缺吃的。無論是未上市的還是熱銷款，爸爸都可以輕鬆拿到。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzxmpbSpVK
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而總是把棒棒糖帶來學校的我也因此得到了一個新綽號——棒棒糖181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WHwQJCHGH
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「棒棒糖，你有沒有喜歡的人啊？」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWv2A5gVQV
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同班四年的好朋友靜琳雙手環抱籃球，像往常一樣談起戀愛話題，對前幾分鐘體育老師的警告置若罔聞。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfkpCxbNma
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「沒有，而且談戀愛不好玩，我不喜歡。」我用樹枝在沙地上畫起無意義的愛心符號，再給它打上一個大大的叉。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBcqn0JdeI
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靜琳嘆氣：「妳最近變得好無聊啊，以前三年級不是都聊6號有多帥嗎。」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1XNaQ1CDx
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「他一次喜歡好幾個女生，很噁心。」我抿唇。181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscL3TNgHg2
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靜琳鼓著單邊臉頰鬧起彆扭：「我不管啦！我五年級就要轉學了，再跟我聊一些好玩的嘛！」181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIseqS5TmY
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靜琳要轉學？！181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVahYJdg7g
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我驚訝地看著她，呆了好幾秒，最後怔怔地吐出一句話。
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我們就這樣有一搭沒一搭地聊著戀愛話題，消磨掉一節體育課。
坦白說，靜琳轉學的事情並沒有讓我掉一滴淚，甚至連一點悲傷的情緒也沒有。
我說不定其實是個冷血的人。
今天的家裡格外不安寧，雖然自三年級後半起爸媽的吵架頻率就越來越高，但從來沒有出現過當前的情況。
「小楠，如果爸爸跟媽媽離婚的話，妳要跟誰一起住？」爸爸的語氣沒有以往的溫柔。
我低下頭，不想對上面前兩道冷冽的目光。
「離婚」這個詞我曾在跟媽媽一起追劇時看到過，但我從沒想過有天會在現實生活中聽到「你要跟爸爸還是媽媽」這種經典臺詞。
我以為爸爸媽媽很溫柔，不會當著我的面問出這種話，逼我在兩個最喜歡的人中做選擇。
但顯然並非如此。
「我不想選。」我的口氣異常冷靜，平淡的情緒表達連我自己都不敢置信。心臟仿佛覆了一層霜，除了由內而外的冷以外什麼都感受不到。
沒有人回應我的話，四周的氣氛降至冰點，陷入一片安靜的死寂。
「就說不要在未楠面前提了。」過了半晌，媽媽率先發難。
「她遲早要知道啊！」一向溫文儒雅的爸爸吼了回去。
「張未楠已經不是小孩子了，怎麼可能看不出來？」媽媽的聲音比平時高出不只一個八度。
我默默退到床鋪和牆角連接的角落，小手拽緊床單。
在他們的爭吵中，我只是個局外人。
我把目光投向媽媽，她棕色的長髮如綢段般細緻，額前的碎髮把巴掌大地臉襯得更加小巧，美麗的五官更是絲毫沒有被歲月摧殘的痕跡。
可儘管如此，爸爸依然選擇了另一個女人。拋下了媽媽，還有…我。
爸爸是騙子，大騙子。爸爸說他全世界最喜歡的就是小楠跟媽媽，他說謊。
我的呼吸一窒，左胸似乎有什麼東西摔落在地，碎得徹底。
後來，靜琳果然離開了，去了南部的學校。爸爸也離開了，不知道去了哪裡。可能是那個女人的家？
我不清楚，也不在乎。
我果然是個冷血的人。
之後的日子我彷彿變了一個人。我失去與人交流的熱忱，只是拼命地想考上城裡最好的國中。甚至沒跟任何一個同學說超過五句話就從國小畢業了。
當時唯一能勾起我興趣的只有一套我從小追到大的連載漫畫——<平行悖論>。
而我之所以會如此熱衷於那套漫畫，也僅僅因為那套漫畫的第一集是爸爸送給我的七歲生日禮物。
我有時候會想，如果<平行悖論>中的平行時空真的存在，會不會有另一個我正跟爸爸媽媽幸福快樂地生活在一起呢？
瀏覽著書中的情節，我撕開藍色棒棒糖的包裝紙。
濃烈的薄荷味，好冰、好涼、好苦。
我不喜歡。
ns216.73.216.213da2
