這種劇情發展怎麼跟日本毒撚動漫十分相似，突然有個陌生女子在家中出現，然後同居。這種既異想天開又陳腔濫調的劇情，連我在講故台看到都會唾棄。若是毒撚甚至是一般男生絕對會點首答允，這樁美事發生十個男生九個都嚮往，剩下一個應該是同性戀。不好意思，我是第十一個。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcb69LlcPBo
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbPGxrZ4iJ
作為一名A0毒撚當然想盡快交女朋友擺脫這個稱號，但論到同居我絕不同意。先撇開她是一個不知從何而來的陌生人，與女生同居這種事沒你想像中那麼美好。為何我知道?全因我之前與家姐同住十幾年，徹底了解與女生這種生物在同一屋簷下是甚麼狀況。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpzX7wPGZ0
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwhVV9Njee
女生與你老媽不同，她們不是照顧你忍讓你的角色，早上搶洗手間，晚上搶電視，半夜在床上與男朋友講電話使你無法入睡，還沒算上其他破壞形象的行為。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKQs41VCSc
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiZ0bcEbH4
可能你會說家姐是有血緣關係無法與其他女生相提並論，起初我也是這樣以為，但實際例子往往是最好的論證。有一年暑假，家姐的同學來了我家住了幾星期。家姐的同學長得非常可愛，但這個印象僅維持了幾天，往後的日子仿如多了另一位家姐一樣，我平日遇到的痛苦乘以雙倍。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKrgtUvdra
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfdn0lBaae
因此我對與女生同居一事只有一個看法，女生的形象率先崩壞，然後你的生活亦隨之崩壞。可能是我太偏激，抑或是我對上述女生本身沒有多餘的遐想。即使今天要與我同居的女生是岑月寧，我還是會拒絕，我怕會破壞她在我心目中的形象。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFzsCdhiAK
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIexMIAzevu
「你傻架?你話係度住我就會俾你住架啦?就算我肯，我老母都唔肯啦。」我將老媽二字搬出來。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4wCtwT2cr
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQP37foseH
「即係你阿媽肯俾我係度住，你就肯?」她抓我說話的漏洞。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RG1QeDBzp
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3BRDXM0iZ
我心裡想著老媽怎麼可能答允，我就放長雙眼看她怎麼垂頭喪氣的離開。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0l2oA23ei2
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWRGUnzBzN
「睇下我老母點應你囉。」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPfdQrq4c8
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlyKoXj8fI
我跟她說老媽在上班，要十二點才回來，讓她在客廳等。我趕緊換回衣服，然後自顧的走到廚房從櫃中拿出杯麵，打開杯麵提起熱水壺倒水進去。我提著杯麵進房間，打算邊吃邊看伍公子的公子玩walking dead。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9v6IMr94yI
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvZ5KDsvTG
想不到她跟著我進房間，我回頭望向她，只見她望著我手上的杯麵嚥口水…304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5OJJwoZrY
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWITowBSCY7
「又點啊?想食啊?」我問。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgla4SWlZo
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRYiS1Weve
她按著肚輕輕點頭。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPWWW5XYiy
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJMXniCxOw
「又話自己係仙子，乜仙子會肚餓架咩?」我嘲諷著說。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1AUbI3rLB
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeqih7Vei5
「唔食咪唔食囉，好叻咩!」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtvlek4DLt
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAncql35ou
想不到她是如此倔強，我沒理會她繼續享用杯麵及公子玩。吃完後打算扔垃圾走出房間時，發現她坐在沙發一邊按著肚一邊怒視著我。她的眼神兇悍得猶如我是她仇人一樣，我怕了她，把垃圾扔掉後，便從櫃子裡拿出另一個杯麵，還注滿熱水送到她面前。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KI52iVSQE
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3p6L7irIq
「嗱，食啦，廢事你好似隻餓鬼咁啤實我。」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7W1idBMl1E
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7GkH3GTYk
「邊個話我肚餓。」她口嫌體正直，雙手已經捧著杯麵。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvU48ITvIG
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02onCAwN7Y
看著她這種反差意外地帶點可愛。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABWWFk7E9u
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFFhypgTik
她打開杯麵用鼻吸了一口問:304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrPLKGaT1Z
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzPn866eBb
「辣架?」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLOPTiQcFJ
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIjrlCnJHq
我家的杯麵一向由我包辦，而我只會吃合味道的香辣海鮮味，要在我家找到別的口味是不可能的。我看她神情驟變便說:304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU63xI58ly6
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrqRk3ru9M
「唔食得辣啊?咁唔好食囉。」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGitafO3uxE
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOn6eKOPgU
她聽到後反而大口的把麵條吸入，看她吃得滿頭大汗就覺得有點好笑。這種杯麵的辣連譚仔十小辣都不如，居然有人會吃到出汗。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkelIiJgbB9
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3ErXnEtXj
我看她雙唇變得紅彤微腫，便倒了杯水給她，她接過水杯說:304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmdUTyEmIw
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2q9mNwZ2x
「唔該。」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAC8SfpRI8t
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9S76h7URC
「唔駛，我唔該你就真，俾我發現原來有人咁渣，連合味道嘅辣都頂唔住。」我笑著說。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IG6i3Eox9
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbhk7mpLfx
「好好笑咩!?」她突然怒吼。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipyaJuU668
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBulzAHErYi
我被她的神情嚇一跳，收起了嬉笑的嘴臉…304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPFKNB9cAP
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTCifOqrYM
「你咁嘅態度對女仔，睇死你一定冇女朋友啦。」她噴出一句。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEGq8gr5LR
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiDxz8xdzv
她這一句完全是我的致命傷，我不知如何反駁。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSpCvbG4oc
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJaSwHYpWo
「唔出聲即係我講中啦。」她接連的攻勢讓我快招架不住。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAvIpDEoY8
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryaSQNfPWA
被她說穿事實，我無法裝腔作勢…304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBs831WVmiv
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtL9hISGkR
「係啦係啦，你啱晒啦得未，我無拍過拖就係原罪，你地有拖拍嘅咪即管笑囉!」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWHLq2sCGw
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfss4iTVxe
我突然想起今早韓信他們也攻擊我這一點，說完我垂頭回到房間裡再沒跟她講話。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0BGDo5Viz
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHV3OIN2AJe
尷尬的氣氛維持良久，直到聽到開門聲，老媽終於回來…304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0chZaSQ7GU
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLNIy4xAoS
老媽回來便看到那位女生，問我:304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5z5RuFvKlQ
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIopNRfeSdG
「阿仔，呢位邊個嚟?」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoO96EnLq4
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqbdKKcxM6
「你問我?你不如問下你帶返嚟個茶…」我說到一半嘴巴一隻手被捂著。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynOktgfctA
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnDvXRz7bk
是她阻止了我，然後她把我老媽拉到廚房小聲的密談，我站在客廳聽不到對話內容。片刻後她們出來，我老媽對著我說:304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxG02o8PTn
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosyLvkF0qe
「仔，之後曦…啊唔係，呢位茶小姐會係度住一排。」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoNaUXTfQY
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SrqfqzoyH
WTF!?老媽你搞甚麼?居然會讓她住下來?304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXlD7pd7WX
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNta35XaXeC
「吓!?點解啊?三唔識七點解要俾佢住?邊有咁多地方俾佢瞓?」我愕然的問。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBfOIWiePh
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzl4ltb7Lz
「你咪理咁多啦，同埋你執返上格床啲野佢瞓返你家姐張床咪得囉。」老媽四兩撥千斤的化解我的問題。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEWJNZ0v2y
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9XEbMFjC8
現在同居還不夠，還要同房是嗎?我完全無法接受，顯然我的抗議無法撼動我老媽，我便抓了那女生到一旁…304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeOqhd688F
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡon66iNuzzB
「喂!你好講做左啲咩搞到我老母咁順攤?」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGmeoZlg6c
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJimBkuxnb
「我都話左我係茶碗仙子，呢啲野難唔到我，係你唔信我咋嘛。」她囂張的道。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CFu0zM8LX
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcXw5bIhQq
「仲有我唔係叫喂，叫我做茶小姐!」她接著說。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0iq0e6oQb
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgqCnhPdOG
「茶你老…」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5AXvBhDZ2
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnzp7TETdy
「阿仔，今晚你瞓廳啦，俾人地女仔瞓房啊，聽日返嚟要執好上格床啊。」老媽打斷我的同時下了不人道的命令。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3kJYye4D3
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC00H5EceY6
我不解為何要讓出我的床，怎麼說都應該是她睡在客廳吧…304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvPjuyBdWO
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKXuYnXI5Y
「瞓廳啦你。」她擺出欠打的表情說。304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpaaqxZqTn
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrho79eSrOq
「你都痴線，我今晚老虎蟹都瞓房。」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrkjtWW4QA
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6LGOI8EGD
我絕不退讓，可是強硬姿態敵不過她下一句…304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbO5Bifiyd
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjbjZoYoXD
「今晚想同我同床瞓啊?咸濕仔…」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppdq8WXEvm
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxJ0zw1vy5
我不知道她是故意挑逗還是隨口說，換著別人恐怕早就把她吃掉，可是我在這方面是個廢物，面對這種事情就當機不懂反應，她看我呆掉便說:304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJncZTAwt3
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSedJpB1v6
「你唔係真係想啊嘛?發夢啦你，同我死出廳瞓!」304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYiOLyOtxZ
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzOKfsWYvn
砰!房門大力關上，就這樣我與我的床相隔一道門，只好認命的睡在沙發。唉，我究竟做錯了甚麼落得如此下場，果然與女生同居就不會有好日子過…304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTMqsguBNK
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