N: Dude guess what.. you remember those hookers we saw in the park last night?!482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhATrwdjdKI
S: No way man…
N: ALL THE WAY MAN!! I full on trolleyd that thot and she was fuckin screaming and moaning and shit, I was Babe Ruthin’ that bitch!
S: That sounds like pretty soulful sex man, are you gonna see her again?
N: Are you fucking kidding brah? Hookers don’t have souls, fuck outta here!’
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Nick P, leaned back in his office chair, addled by sordid accolade euphoria and a serene benzodiazepine high, he gathered up the ingredients to roll a marijuana cigarette.
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N: I’m gonna smoke a fuckin’ phatty, you wan’ summa this boi?’
S: Nah thanks man, I’m all good.
N: Imma go get some mah-fuckin’ clothes clean nom’ sayin’?
S: I gotta head to work man. Have fun!
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Laundromat
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Nick P strutted down to the local laundromat to clean his bundle of boy sleep sheets whilst loudly whistling a humble country tune.
The laundromat was empty except for a young shy looking girl reading Japanese manga.
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N: Hey there how are ya?
G: I’m good thanks just waiting for my clothes to dry.
N: Ah yep, just cleanin’ clothes and smashing poon. Dope.
G: Um.. yeah something like that..
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She brushed her hair out of her face nervously, this was the first time a fit guy had ever spoken a word to her.
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N: I see you’re reading manga there, I take it you can read Japanese?
G: I’m studying Japanese at the moment and I can read some Japanese yeah, I’m still learning.
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Before their conversation could reach its zenith a Chinese laundro-patron loudly pushed through the door, noticed them speaking and immediately interjected.
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A: Herro my name is Ang, pleasure to make ur acquaintance(s) (nervous laugh).
N: You mean Ang as in like Ang Lee the director?
A: Yes my first name Ang, yes. Hehe, do you guys come to Laundromat often?
N: We’re in the middle of a conversation at the moment man.
A: Ah yes, I love conversations, a personal favourite of mine, how about I join you?
N: How about you Ang Leave bruh.
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Ang looked at Nick P with eyes of surprise and temptation, this was the first time his laundromat encroachment had been challenged.
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N: Get the fuck outta here before I whoop your creepy fish head ass boy,
A: Ok ok please don’t hurt Ang, Ang go now Ang go.
N: Yeah “ANG FUCK OFF NOW”
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Ang hurriedly fled the laundromat, quite likely looking for more passive encounters to barge in on.
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G: That guy was cool! Why did you tell him to leave?
N: You thought that guy was cool? Fuck’s wrong with you..
G: It takes all types to make up this crazy world, it takes strength to be gentle and kind.
N: Yeah that’s true but I have a feeling Ang had ill intent for your paper cut nom sayin’.
G: Huh?
N: Ahh, forget it. So you like Morrissey huh?
G: I do indeed.
N: Great artist. He’s always been a favourite of mine. You know he’s been celibate for like 15 years.
G: Yeah he’s not the only one.
N: Wait, you can’t be older than 18.. you’re celibate?
G: 17 actually, and yes, celibate, involuntarily.
N: Holy fuckkk. I’ve read about you people online, you don’t look like one of them though.
G: I’m just really shy, and guys never talk to me, I dunno how to go about the whole thing.
N: I understand that, but if you wanna get guys attention you’re gonna have to wear some more revealing clothes, none of this play school hand me down bullshit you got going on.
G: Hey that’s mean!
N: I’m just being honest. Are you packing any heat under those shabby clothes?
G: Packing any heat?
N: Like.. tits an ass, do you have them?
G: I have pretty small tits, I hate them. I have sort of an ass though.
N: Yeah? That’s perfect. The ass is the window to the pussy, you can work that angle.
G: Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. Are you ‘packing heat?’
N: You mean like my dick?
G: Yeah..
N: You wanna see it?
G: Yeah, I’m nervous though.
N: Don’t be nervous, have a gurnz.
G: Damn it’s thick.. and it looks all engorged is that normal?
N: Yeah it’s erect..
G: Do you want to take my virginity? This might be my only chance with a guy like you.
N: Fuck yeah I’ll pop your cherry why not.
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Her long red hair cascaded down onto her arched lower back as he pounded her virginal otaku rump against the rusty industrial washer.
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N: TIMBERRRRR
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It took no more than 5 minutes for Nick P’s creme cannon to go off inside her.
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G: Did you cum in me?
N: Damn right I did.
G: Is that bad?
N: Not for me it isn’t. (Fried elated smile.)
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All of a sudden Nick P heard a noise behind him.
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A: Ang cum now.
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‘Ang’ had slipped quietly into the laundromat during their heated deflowering session and was standing completely naked fingering his micro dick.
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In a fit of rage Nick P swung his fist at Ang’s head and clocked him right in the jaw, and as he did, a beam of light shot forth from Ang’s head, and the room filled with a sparkling mist.
A strange deep voice became audible.
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Voice: ‘You have passed the first test, now you must find the Jade Monkey before the next full moon.’
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Nick awoke in fright in bed. Covered in cold sweat.
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Sean: Is everything ok man?
N: I just had the craziest dream.. I’m never not smoking pot again.
S: Fuck dude that sucks. Let’s try get back to sleep if we can.
N: This is the second night in a row we’ve slept in the same bed dude.
S: The heater is broken so it only makes sense doing it for warmth.
N: Wait, the heaters not broken.
S: Oh, why the fuck I have been sleeping in your bed with you then, we’re grown men.
N: I dunno dude, that’s your fuckin’ issue, I just went with it.
S: Ok I’m going back into my room now.
N: Fag..
S: What was that man?
N: Nothin’ I just said night man.
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The End
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