你好，我是莊坌但。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJA9nC9QcNg
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjshxa4SA6
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcMNGwQqre
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRauCesd4Du
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEyUjRCYTG
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMApmDIQq8
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWwEZ9t8Qz
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFCxkPk3f3
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrAlHf6bIT
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yqnonbGiJ
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGDH6HJIoq
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngKRKWj27K
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMq97AYnXu
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡol4R1ahm86
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZjM7a6Z68
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJh0mMlz8Ei
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtx1VXwlwMZ
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9u5yXjfZm
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPROLPyOnDE
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZ7jzw56VK
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4M9cDHxvYD
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOkHEtSc1t
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCgUdcYfxA
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSeORgGQy3
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThrimmnZJq
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDH35NZkS8
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZMgLa0Ph9
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Yjjkpk9bL
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCERVLlJb2C
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo53C9nqYAD
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5dJO88JB1
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiYv9M88mP
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZnlSk1tro
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdWh31DftW
「你好，我是……」465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRK5mCQzH4
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15RQmbe3HV
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNwxCTiLJo
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLC6sr8yO5r
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7w1wcWJzJx
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKYbXDk2Ra
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6vEDoIB92
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCSYFSOs1M
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQuShToDCu
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkUqBtzcMK
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2cO0duGin
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasFZF7LmyS
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9uHDPbr5K
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3NPmzv5uC
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJMSdWVsIw
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9vwSLcqFK
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xKw7zyD0B
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkl1qpfqpn
不好啊非常的不好啊！465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PP1sJI0CZ
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ640dxzdbNG
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBcGrmPRDL
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvr43KmZC2
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rxp8nENeI
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJePtkOLAo
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWmR1NKYP7
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtkPWors2q
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpyoEIfJIA
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjg6tW7XMX6
出了社會，總是得找份工作。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vDzuMVNZL
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiG0RrNiFN
我自己買了台50CC通勤。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWn4euJYjb7
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvPzLmwLgp
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4GanJf2Q3
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtA9HKRrF0g
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTlsrDNnRF
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAR7VEGf3kL
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZ2BNiWVF1
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrD6XhD9uC
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3PDDV5lvh
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkQC6ALliR
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0WZ0dTivw
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzP8os0xGkv
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth2LPtYWMq
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHasRbLvPUZ
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUuOI4EBq4
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZd7b9LUlJu
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd27wNBwhmI
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGx4vpXQos
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTv53kROEzT
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3WCHBdOe8
它熄火，我傻眼。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZUP9XxUwo
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvYnLlEbeE
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CtErdS3od
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdX4ALDuDS
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjNIMqpqK6
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJsESvyjqr
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhp21mElOu
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUryqHp4MK7
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rlSpXejeh
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOIE18nPDr
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21P5ivFEaE
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdkGVdOrKa
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNUnqkMdLX
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRiONchEdx
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWG5f8TshY
465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNi0X7KiJgs
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！465Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvve1MSeJj7
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