你好，我是莊坌但。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxN2QRmykUR
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoWdiUUXJ6
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYnXWrJ9Hw
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LOl5o089J
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9E5rCxNYT
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVu8sJXKC8a
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIv9iihik8
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMukp1znV1
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡae1rzM8l8T
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVN5LLbBwD
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZomxSHSNL
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEcGqAM2YU
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxOQGcv4FG
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgOKaA8r4V
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvfOhdgJbb
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJQraIFUjl
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhhnrvRQzD
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV3Dds683k
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXh1anfsTy
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6V2k3BGC7
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7FPIwjoFA
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTmnXeVrwI
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxDpqV1BKg
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBbedkRXV2
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZ1b72JV6y
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hwjlELizo
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITd9QdSYzc
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbua5wz9dGq
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpDLLyfy37
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIa01KqMgG
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqThJt7lNZb
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRRwcf4XeD
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbrr0HCOp5
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56fGFC99sO
「你好，我是……」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlz1Fn8KsV
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKDJ6r905b
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yagw0bDYh
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdrr2KmT0L
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVjVf6vK91
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JPXuhI6ea
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMsEQIpPr8
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3SUfvvtod
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0H3HFCfrYA
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMb1qMKfde4
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJmouzRWDW
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Xcbe1apD5
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGz1vUoUpK
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8SYdgo8yy
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxDXG74q4r
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoUrNzxsmq
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXY3K27k6Cx
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCZVkoyTCk
不好啊非常的不好啊！425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sJVUVsF0k
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ezq3MHiaq
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSu1IpWrPp
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6iROzDXog
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmM4FP7Ahdb
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLniXW02aV
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMY2VPdq8z
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCB1EgQv6J
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEmlzw5Vaz
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnH6msC036
出了社會，總是得找份工作。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJ13Mviyno
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTq7JxpTMEL
我自己買了台50CC通勤。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JfUMuC3Cd
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiwB4n3ccX
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRN29BnHfdI
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPzrU98TW3
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriq4HDHDys
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulL2qABUdm
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOS0SCN6Nk6
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHF68vMK8n
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnl6hHM6Xwp
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SN4Ad4UIl
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzESwc8i6d
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gYHfci07J
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lqLZxMTyh
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25IavZFDUW
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7LV0TY4Iz
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekc7ZjvytF
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlZvEQfpnF
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6w3vHrsu6
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoYegtsafD
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHThd03mVjg
它熄火，我傻眼。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYN5nHyccv
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnJ1BSfHkZ
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaMJjstVEt
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJh7zQ1R7Bo
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AIaDPlhrl
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssNIWItwaX
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYahbS9HI8W
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMG8A5TDTFW
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhUDM9LHcJ
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRdVzcqxjv
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnjwtSxujx
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIzwyy4FxL
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6werf2IXOa
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQZIWAkRXl
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9JaHvOpfc
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbRlEcUauN
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJDq1bdCYi
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