x
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Lena sat beside me in class today.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEA5ba5RSaJ
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She leaned over and asked, “You okay?”
I said, “Yeah, just tired.”31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcctNVo58RA
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She smiled like that was enough.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQy6BTo1iZQ
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I smiled back — the kind you practice in mirrors so nobody asks twice.
It worked. It always does.
Later, Eli dropped something in the group chat. A plan. Movies, drinks, the usual Saturday noise.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWnoeltpSl
31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSxa1bPOvd
Everyone reacted. I gave it a thumbs up, muted the chat, and closed the app like it burned to hold it.
I don’t hate people. I just hate feeling like I don’t exist around them.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoFWluHPI2
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Even when I’m there, fully present, it still feels like I’m watching my life from behind glass.
I listen to people laugh and wonder what it feels like to actually mean it.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8UWGbqHDk
31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbxzsCOFND
I speak when I have to. I show up when it matters.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmUL3iTK3Z
31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWP47c80rHV
But everything I say feels like I’m lip-syncing someone else’s life.
It’s not that I want anyone to chase me.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozXzC0meIv
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I just want someone to notice that I’m drifting.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQV7JhqIZ5l
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Someone to stop smiling and actually look me in the eyes and say,
31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3ZpZBLvab“Something’s wrong. Don’t lie to me.”31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKkBYI8Cyl
But no one ever does.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5WvbL4fcX
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They believe the smile. They always believe the smile.
And I don’t blame them.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXr5zISMfD
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I’ve made it easy.
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I left my journal open on purpose this time.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyfB3KnhfL
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Page bookmarked.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgrhfuauZq
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Highlighting one line I hoped someone would read:
31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYkOgqyXsy“If you’re reading this, I don’t want to disappear quietly.”31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4ZRTRzmKo
I didn’t lock my room when I left.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDepNznKLnP
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I just want to see who actually comes looking.
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Thank you for reading. If this felt real to you, follow for the issue 3— I’m just getting start
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Issue 3 drops in [like “2 days”]
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