x
I'd been on edge since Fajr.
When the email came in last night, I thought it was a mistake. A glitch in the scheduling system. An error someone in HR would correct by morning.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQ2RuvY3SC
But then the revised weekly schedule hit my inbox a few minutes later. Every meeting with Imran—gone.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchef45GRVf
Replaced with joint sessions, team strategy reviews, and onboarding syncs... all with Lamija Begović.
I stared at my calendar for a full five minutes, just waiting for it to shift back.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65IPEhgSw2
It didn't.
I prayed Fajr at the masjid near my apartment, the one with peeling blue paint and a heater that hummed too loudly.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpZhIRhN8r
I needed the quiet. I needed the grounding.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xLsQkVzO7
I tried to focus during sujood, whispered du'a between breaths.
Ya Allah... make me enough.
On the drive to the office, I didn't play Qur'an like usual.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9NO1YryIy
Just silence.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIJkXNxOF6
Sarajevo was still half-asleep, the city bathed in that cold, pre-sunlight stillness.
Zehira texted me just before I pulled into the lot:
Zehira: Good luck, ljubavi. You'll be brilliant.
It almost made me smile.
Even her mother knew what a difficult woman she'd raised.
I should've gone upstairs.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHF6bU55iM1
Should've taken the elevator straight to the top floor and stepped into whatever version of hell this week would be.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGJ6ZNak2F
But instead, I turned left.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0giphKzgR
Down to the garage level.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEL1LiyiuH
To the drivers' lounge.
The room was empty, but warm.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolh8NLSs0i
It smelled like diesel and stale coffee and those cheap Bosnian cigarettes my father used to chain-smoke.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7NtXrFSEf
I closed the door gently behind me and leaned against it.
This place had barely changed.
Same cracked leather couches.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8J4LG3B8ft
Same humming vending machine.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkkvjgBguO
Same half-faded poster about snow chain protocols.
I walked over to the corner where the lockers used to be.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNp7EwJySZ
My father's would've been three from the end.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQI3PjIrkX0
He used to let me sit in his truck while he checked in with dispatch.
That's where I first saw her.
Lamija was fourteen.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbpaFmmsXv
Bright scarf knotted under her chin.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2weadxVS2a
Boots too clean for the garage.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3AjkaNbIT
She walked in with a box of new company merch to hand out to the drivers—hats, hoodies, branded mugs.
I was gone the moment I saw her.
She handed a jacket to my father.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4KSrUCPh6
Then looked at me.
"You're Ibrahim's boy?" she asked.
I nodded, ears burning.
The cap she put on my head was comically big.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFWC6VAtsH
I could barely see past the brim.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTlPbMrEjw
She grinned anyway.
"Looks good on you."
My father chuckled as she walked away.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIo5U6CjEc
"Little boss got good taste," he said, ruffling my hair.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwo8StOnKr5
"Careful, Ayub. That one's trouble."
I still have that cap.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXpTXzl55Z
Buried in a box in the back of my closet.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWefDgP2SpB
Never wore it again, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.
My father died a few months later.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGekr5hWbKm
Rain-slick road. A sharp turn just past Visoko.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxNwAKeAWa
They found the truck wrapped around a concrete barrier.
I still remember the knock on the door.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGShkkG5qqs
The way my mother cried without sound.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBq5j7y0jGx
The way she remarried four months later like my father was a chapter she could close and shelve.
Her new husband didn't want baggage.
I was the baggage.
She left me with my uncle, a man who only tolerated me because he shared a last name with my father. The house was cold even when the heaters were on. I ate alone. Slept with the door locked. Did laundry by hand because no one thought to show me the machine.
Zehira Begović started asking around.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOakhh8TqWE
In the masjids.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYPdbhbtRu
At the community center.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7QgCa4TuR
Where is Ibrahim's son? Who has him?
She showed up at my uncle's door like a storm in a silk hijab.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rFOnkmUu2
I still remember the way she pushed past him without waiting for permission.
"Get your things, Ayub. You're coming with me."
And just like that, I did.
I was sixteen when I moved into the Begović house.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeUcihc78R
I stayed for two years.
Imran took me in like a brother.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vhhSc8RVS
But what their parents gave me—that was something else entirely.
They gave me status.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOBPqL9ejV
Access.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrD1ujlzEjC
An education I never dreamed of affording.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUEk1gAXqR
Tutors. Travel.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfyUjvwE9R
A desk in the corner of the estate library stocked with everything I needed.
They treated me like a son—not just with warmth, but with investment.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZLKu9ysRU
The kind you pour into a future you believe in.
Even now, they're the closest thing I have to parents.
And Lamija...
Lamija was fire and gravity and sharpness in human form.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZzIgczY1A
I learned quickly to keep my distance.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZQiG8lmQO
To look, but not linger.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlA6JA0Aurt
To admire quietly and never, ever want too much.
I sat down on the old couch near the window.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIf5TEZVA7
Closed my eyes.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo65dWN2Ppm
Spoke softly into the space like I used to do when I was a boy sitting in the truck.
"Babo... they want me to work under her now."
I swallowed.
"She's not that little girl anymore. She runs an entire division.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkScpnQk6o
And I'm terrified — not of the work, but of falling short of the man they believe I am.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVcSltIhqm
The one she expects."
The silence pressed against my chest.
"I miss you."
I sat there a little longer, until my throat stopped burning.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJTGshg7C2
Then I pulled my shoulders back and headed for the elevator.
The executive floor was mostly dark when I arrived.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEc3BHhlZal
No chatter. No phones ringing.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHkzemGl6Q
Just the soft hum of the lights and the faint click of my own shoes.
Everyone knew Imran started early.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpWGFDfKL8
Too early.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3KgorWS6z
He was probably already in his office, sipping bitter coffee and reviewing shipping reports.
I wasn't ready to face him yet.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rBHW0gwIr
Not until I figured out how to say it without sounding like a coward.
My new desk was in the operations wing—closer to Lamija's glass-encased office.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAu8oREpD8e
Front row seats to the storm.
I dropped my bag onto the desk and pulled out my tablet.
The welcome packet was already open—color-coded folders, division performance graphs, open contracts.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaD6WXODqB
She was nothing if not thorough.
There was a note at the bottom of one file:
Review before the 10am sync. Come prepared. –L.B.
Short. Sharp. Efficient.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOOCqyXi2H
Pure Lamija.
I opened the file.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTopMo5qWR
My stomach knotted.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TMaRkRwsy
Not because I couldn't do it—but because I'd spent years trying to keep my distance.
And now I was being asked to stand beside her, hold my own, and pretend I wasn't still the boy who remembered the way she said,16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFguvoJB3p6
"Looks good on you."
I stared at the screen until the lines blurred.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgxIaqRo3x
Then I stood. Slowly. Quietly.
And turned down the hall toward Imran's office.
I didn't knock.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplLGyq374u
Not yet.
I just stood outside the door—16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeA86MPAo85
trying to figure out how to ask the one question I already knew he wouldn't want to answer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Notes from Ash&Olive:
So. We met Ayub.
He prays, he panics, he trauma-bonds with diesel fumes.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4z5riUE09N
Very on brand for someone who's about to work under a woman who could shatter him with a sentence and then move on with her day.
Is he emotionally prepared for this transition?16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd8HXez82K
No.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fuKVTgJPo
Did he try to spiritually process it before opening an Excel sheet?16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jX0G9CbQi
Absolutely.
He's doing his best.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TotszZrMO
Unfortunately, his best is now being measured against Lamija Begović at 10am sharp.
Pray for him. Again.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKthn0dbN1
Or better yet—leave a comment telling me who you think is going to break first.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHk48G7nmW2
(It's fine. I already know. I just want to see where your loyalties lie.)
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxyOz642po
