坐在養母娘家的客廳裡,藤椅微微吱吱作響。66Please respect copyright.PENANAg0Z1WSWKq1
66Please respect copyright.PENANA0ts4NNBSa3
我的膝上攤著一本泛黃的詩集。66Please respect copyright.PENANAXIFMhuCbzY
66Please respect copyright.PENANAdKjy446VYx
窗外,秋風吹得樹葉沙沙作響。66Please respect copyright.PENANA7eMbk4CWdG
66Please respect copyright.PENANAj71mJB2hcZ
我的手指無意識地翻動書頁,卻怎麼也讀不進那些詩句。66Please respect copyright.PENANA5RFSHwaONZ
66Please respect copyright.PENANAmhNdejSWKd
養母走過來,手裡捧著一盤剛削好的蘋果。她臉上帶著溫柔的笑,將果盤放在茶几上,輕聲說:「思穎,食生果啦!適應咗婆婆屋企未?」66Please respect copyright.PENANABCQp7qTgMY
66Please respect copyright.PENANAizBhmvYOhw
我抬起頭,長髮滑過肩頭,連衣裙勾勒出我單薄的身形。66Please respect copyright.PENANA2FbtpGTyXr
66Please respect copyright.PENANASfwx0UzeTX
我擠出一個笑容,乖巧地回道:「唔該媽咪,我適應咗喇!」66Please respect copyright.PENANAIHFrd3iWjg
66Please respect copyright.PENANA73uKJDUyA6
我接過一片蘋果,低頭咬了一小口,汁液順著唇角滑落。66Please respect copyright.PENANApf0hOU98oV
66Please respect copyright.PENANAmhfdiSLiQY
婆婆家不大,卻掛滿了舊照。那些黑白照片佈滿牆壁,像是在訴說家族的過往。每當我走過,看見那些泛黃的面孔,心中總湧起一股莫名的惆悵。66Please respect copyright.PENANAxehZ9CAR6g
66Please respect copyright.PENANANzcRdBPYfz
我多想融入這個家,成為照片裡的一部分,可我根本不是養母親生的。那些照片將我隔在外面。66Please respect copyright.PENANAAYRUuZbKZc
66Please respect copyright.PENANAJq8Cpo6jz1
養母坐在我身旁,輕輕拍著我的手,說:「你爹哋當年對你唔住,或者你會有心結。但而家,你係我個女,我會好好鍚你。」她的話,很溫暖,可我的手指卻微微一顫,蘋果差點從手中滑落。66Please respect copyright.PENANADal1YSwNv7
66Please respect copyright.PENANA5tcKRbOiGt
我垂下眼簾,長睫掩住眼中的波瀾。66Please respect copyright.PENANAhmQgGobfNe
66Please respect copyright.PENANA3vIuVKIrWW
那個男人,本來是我的校長,曾用權力與慾望將我拖入深淵。我屈服過,甚至在藥物與羞辱中迷失過。如今,他卻是我的「父親」,那些不堪的記憶就好比毒藤,纏繞著我的心。66Please respect copyright.PENANAM2tXYPAGHD
66Please respect copyright.PENANAxuFRluT7Ut
「媽咪……」我輕聲開口,聲音顫抖得幾乎聽不見︰「如果我做咗好壞嘅事,你會唔會……原諒我?」66Please respect copyright.PENANAWXxKpe7TK4
66Please respect copyright.PENANAs6q1Kk9pAz
養母愣了一下,隨即握緊我的手,眼裡滿是疼愛:「傻豬嚟嘅,你係我個寶貝女,有咩事我都會陪你。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAVejco4wAXg
66Please respect copyright.PENANAXTUZY60Gao
我多想坦白,告訴她我和父親之間已經亂倫了,可是一想到她可能崩潰的模樣,我只能咬緊唇,將真相吞回腹中。66Please respect copyright.PENANAvPj8rt1kQo
66Please respect copyright.PENANA3JUhpCpNhj
「其實……爸……都唔係咁壞,因為係佢主動搵返我。」我勉強擠出這句話,試圖為他辯解。66Please respect copyright.PENANA5mf9lv2KKD
66Please respect copyright.PENANAq5ozleDjFl
養母點點頭,微笑著說:「我知道佢唔係咁壞,佢有主動搵你。只係………」她沉默了一會兒,又道︰「只係一直以嚟我都以為自己好了解佢,以為佢係個好男人好老公。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAxniPCW1UGF
66Please respect copyright.PENANAzds6ipkGpN
養母又道︰「我根本接受唔到他之前竟然搞過學生,仲唔知個學生生咗個女。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAPUAJNbhPNk
66Please respect copyright.PENANAiVxdmROx2u
我知道他的「好」有多虛假。66Please respect copyright.PENANAHTfnKLCJwH
66Please respect copyright.PENANAxtTNLZmXc2
養母的眼濕了。66Please respect copyright.PENANAFvfzHEkMfi
66Please respect copyright.PENANASGH9Ucx2RK
「媽咪,我都係去廚房幫婆婆啦!佢嘅事,遲下再算啦!」我站起身,走向廚房幫忙。66Please respect copyright.PENANAkwiJnM440x
66Please respect copyright.PENANAIXhoOKpMYl
婆婆正在準備晚餐,見我進來廚房,笑著說:「思穎,你真係乖,嚟幫婆婆手啦?」66Please respect copyright.PENANA7mizeAt5QH
66Please respect copyright.PENANA8UmEnsuqDS
我點頭,接過她遞來的菜刀,開始切菜。動作機械而熟練,可心思卻亂成一團。66Please respect copyright.PENANANAc8XmpmUo
66Please respect copyright.PENANA8SEIQIHXUO
婆婆一邊忙碌,一邊聊起養母小時候的事。66Please respect copyright.PENANAZt7RDClXu8
66Please respect copyright.PENANAlCgGJ2TUif
「你媽咪細個都好苦,我哋家又窮,死老嘢又唔要我哋,你媽咪佢呀!係靠自己努力,先考上大學,讀醫生科呀!」婆婆的聲音帶著自豪︰「唔陣時呀!你媽咪佢每日起早貪黑,慳得就慳,就係為咗有個好前途,然後年紀輕輕,就入醫院工作,遇上你阿爸,就係早幾年前嘅事。」我聽著,心中五味雜陳。66Please respect copyright.PENANA4FicWMYC5T
66Please respect copyright.PENANADGiskQH9Fo
我好像玷污了這個家,和父親有了那樣的關係,我簡直玷污了養母的堅韌。66Please respect copyright.PENANAMBnN8ufS79
66Please respect copyright.PENANA2HRTQJTAqD
切菜的手不小心慢了下來,婆婆關切地問:「哎呀思穎,你冇嘢嘛?係咪切親手仔呀?你臉色唔太好嘅?」66Please respect copyright.PENANAziERa5Bq6c
66Please respect copyright.PENANAsjfRVQvTCA
我搖搖頭,勉強笑道:「冇事,婆婆,可能我有少少攰啫。」我不敢看她的眼睛。66Please respect copyright.PENANAhYSSynftHF
66Please respect copyright.PENANAPtJS6GtAcP
晚餐時,我坐在養母和婆婆中間,桌上擺著簡單卻溫暖的菜餚。66Please respect copyright.PENANAF0VXu4EAsb
66Please respect copyright.PENANAobn3wYYLcZ
養母夾了一塊很大的魚給我,柔聲說:「食多啲,你太瘦喇。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAI4rCrABOy2
66Please respect copyright.PENANAIq1ESTxlMz
我點頭,低頭對著自己的雙乳吃著,心卻像被石頭壓著。66Please respect copyright.PENANAiYQ2VSlso5
66Please respect copyright.PENANAdIwmLYZQSW
飯後,我主動收拾碗筷,養母想幫忙,我卻堅持說:「媽咪,你去休息下啦!呢度交畀我得喇!」她看著我,眼中滿是欣慰:「你真是個好孩子。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAqNQHHznP1S
66Please respect copyright.PENANAzx6z0breSk
我多想做個乖巧的女兒,可每次我想靠近她們,那份罪惡感就把我拉回深淵。66Please respect copyright.PENANAftm9msGr94
66Please respect copyright.PENANAQbKDqhQV3z
第二天,我又主動幫婆婆打掃客廳。66Please respect copyright.PENANADF37O9sEom
66Please respect copyright.PENANAfqKTtL7sTu
擦拭那些舊照時,我的手指不小心碰到一張養母與父親結婚時的照片。只有二十五歲的養母,與差不多四十歲的父親。年齡差,沒有令她笑得不那麼燦爛,反而幸福地笑著,像是從未被荒謬壓垮過。66Please respect copyright.PENANAwFlVx5iHGW
66Please respect copyright.PENANAf43emtISTF
我停下來,盯著照片看了許久,心裡默默想:如果她知道真相,還會不會這樣笑?66Please respect copyright.PENANAhDJsfh7bls
66Please respect copyright.PENANAlXMpEo6SHI
「思穎,你真係好細心。」養母誇我時,我低著頭不敢看她,只小聲說:「應該嘅。」我越是努力扮演乖巧的角色,內心的掙扎就越深。66Please respect copyright.PENANAtghNzHJWZE
66Please respect copyright.PENANAJ3gaTycIY4
我知道自己是在贖罪,可這贖罪卻像個無底洞,怎麼也填不滿。66Please respect copyright.PENANALlDSATgCAd
66Please respect copyright.PENANAw0QLgmTgRY
那些不堪的記憶總在這時湧上來。66Please respect copyright.PENANA0IKYnTY3lx
66Please respect copyright.PENANAptRMfqoZxH
父親的眼神、他的觸碰、還有我自己的沉默。66Please respect copyright.PENANAejy1gZNw7X
66Please respect copyright.PENANAZTSunEYV7a
有時,我會低聲問自己:「我仲可以扮幾耐?」可一想到養母溫柔的笑,我又告訴自己:「再忍忍!只要時間一過,一切都會回復正常了,為咗媽咪,為咗呢頭家。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAQNWO9dGBMj
66Please respect copyright.PENANAHgasDR2RWX
我多希望有一天,能真正放下這一切。66Please respect copyright.PENANAlrSpGbDZZ4
66Please respect copyright.PENANAAc70BzFu8P
可我知道,只要父親還在,只要那個秘密還在,我就永遠走不出這片陰影。這是我的掙扎,也是我選擇的路。只要用乖巧,就能掩蓋罪惡。只要用沉默,就能換取安寧。66Please respect copyright.PENANAJDVujvGZMI
66Please respect copyright.PENANAB30xR1TxXU
但真的可以嗎?66Please respect copyright.PENANA3b32y3eX2c
66Please respect copyright.PENANAK5b9tfBBDK
我一回到學校,校園的喧囂與熟悉的氣息原本是可以帶來一絲安寧,然而每日都有一陣無形的風,將我內心深處吹得更加洶湧。66Please respect copyright.PENANAeKsYp84rbx
66Please respect copyright.PENANAU46hu92mRB
我拖著沉重的步伐,走在長長的走廊上,手緊緊握住書包帶,指節因用力而泛白。66Please respect copyright.PENANAI6b7NRh4uQ
66Please respect copyright.PENANAhs03IC6W1Q
遠處,是校長,我的父親,正站在校長室門口,身影高大而挺拔,與一位教師低聲交談。66Please respect copyright.PENANAg77aK7eHEW
66Please respect copyright.PENANAVEcxhtzqPn
父親的側臉被午後的陽光勾勒得柔和,卻又散發出一種令人無法忽視的威嚴。66Please respect copyright.PENANAZdYEYTNof9
66Please respect copyright.PENANApoT3a9FpxK
那一刻,我的腳步停住了,心跳如同擂鼓般在胸腔內瘋狂跳動。66Please respect copyright.PENANAsUwmoJc0yH
66Please respect copyright.PENANA6JQxF8qJSe
我不能停下來,因為今天我要跟父親一起早會,於是我強行抑壓著內心的躁動,慢慢走向他們。66Please respect copyright.PENANAr0aG7TF5zm
66Please respect copyright.PENANAmsREXY5q01
一步一步走向他們,內心的感覺越是怪異,猶如一團亂麻在胸口翻滾。66Please respect copyright.PENANAmK2SaiHc4e
66Please respect copyright.PENANAVl5TshDRJF
我緊咬下唇,牙齒幾乎嵌入柔軟的唇肉,目光不由自主地停留在他身上,眼底閃過一絲痛苦而扭曲的光芒。與此同時,一股異樣的熱流從小腹緩緩升起,沿著神經蔓延至下身。66Please respect copyright.PENANAgwkcz2t2Cw
66Please respect copyright.PENANAHciNRxPT7I
我感到私處微微發癢,內褲下隱秘的肉褶邊似乎已被一絲濕意浸透。走路的我,雙腿不自覺地收緊起來,試圖壓抑這羞恥的感覺。可越是抗拒,那股熱流越發洶湧,彷彿被一隻無形的手緊緊攫住陰道,把淫水從穴中攫出來。66Please respect copyright.PENANA1Az8nKkVcH
66Please respect copyright.PENANAyi6cY1JsMr
那位教師瞥見我走近,轉過身來,朝我揮了揮手:「思穎,你終於返嚟啦?」他朝我笑了笑,繼續說道:「我們正在聊早會的事,你來跟校長談談吧!我得回教員室了。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAcic5A7uv8p
66Please respect copyright.PENANAMkE6AS85kE
他話音剛落,便轉身離開,只剩下我和父親獨處。66Please respect copyright.PENANA356tNAHCSA
66Please respect copyright.PENANAChIxFmShu0
空氣瞬間變得濃稠,彷彿被某種無形的慾望填滿,讓我幾乎喘不過氣。66Please respect copyright.PENANAzuI0GZOxHu
66Please respect copyright.PENANA7hRv81dOgh
「思穎,最近點……屋企嗰邊……?」父親的聲音帶著一絲試探,像是在撫摸我的神經。66Please respect copyright.PENANAblAM5bij43
66Please respect copyright.PENANA1zSnzZEqmt
我咬了咬唇,冷冷地回道:「嗯,幾好。講返早會先!」66Please respect copyright.PENANAvH90Pcb2qa
66Please respect copyright.PENANAB3f8cF3ryn
父親點了點頭,從西裝口袋裡掏出一疊稿紙,緩緩向我靠近。當他停在我身旁時,我聞到了他身上那股熟悉的體味,直接鑽進我的鼻腔,勾起我深埋的記憶。66Please respect copyright.PENANAwtQpfYp30m
66Please respect copyright.PENANA1jWi3QRuiQ
我的下身突然湧起更強烈的癢意,像是有什麼在裡面緩緩甦醒,溫熱而潮濕。66Please respect copyright.PENANA9YfKDWfkqK
66Please respect copyright.PENANAMcN7boGbS6
「我睇咗你份稿。」父親說道︰「有啲地方,我覺得可以再改得吸引啲。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAyD7POjbKSn
66Please respect copyright.PENANASQpTyfSuBv
他靠得更近,近到我能感受到他身上散發的熱氣,包裹著我。他的手臂在翻動稿紙時,不經意地擦過我的手背,粗壯的觸感像一道電流,瞬間竄遍全身。66Please respect copyright.PENANAtVfRoFap0A
66Please respect copyright.PENANAE6QeWMMG9d
我渾身一顫,幾乎要從喉嚨裡溢出一聲低吟,但我硬生生咬住下唇,把那羞恥的聲音吞了回去。66Please respect copyright.PENANApxbN2eJbQs
66Please respect copyright.PENANA8gfZz8eCfs
我想退開,卻發現腿軟得像是被抽乾了力氣,只能任由他侵入我的空間。66Please respect copyright.PENANADR7im6vk0v
66Please respect copyright.PENANAHfmYSOExeJ
「呢度。」父親忽然微微俯下身,嘴唇幾乎貼著我的耳廓,熱氣噴灑在我的耳垂上,燙得我耳根發麻。66Please respect copyright.PENANAt0ugIT8Vuh
66Please respect copyright.PENANAB1o8cFbOFb
他的指尖慢條斯理地滑過稿紙上的某一行字,動作輕柔得像是撫摸我的肌膚︰「呢段太單調太冇癮……不如加啲令人沉淪嘅味道?」66Please respect copyright.PENANAJtvNPNaknC
66Please respect copyright.PENANAa7UyZUROeH
讓人沉淪的味道?66Please respect copyright.PENANAW9MVMYgj63
66Please respect copyright.PENANAJERlziCNf7
我愣住片刻,才驚覺自己將「令人沉淪嘅味道」聽成了這誘惑至極的詞。他的目光微微一閃,像是在暗中品嚐我的失神。66Please respect copyright.PENANAmNhN9Pvti5
66Please respect copyright.PENANAgbYF7K1c2J
「你知唔知?」他繼續說︰「太直白只會令人覺得單調,如果開頭隱藏多少少嘢,後面反而會更加之有趣。」66Please respect copyright.PENANA68nJr2TCOR
66Please respect copyright.PENANAiZBMPBpod6
他的手指輕輕按在稿紙上,卻彷彿按住了我的脈搏。66Please respect copyright.PENANAoYkQNpno34
66Please respect copyright.PENANAcaBEm9AvEy
「不過思穎你可以更大膽。」他的唇角勾起一抹的弧度。66Please respect copyright.PENANAsbfCuxR1tD
66Please respect copyright.PENANAFqzG7VV4F3
「我……我可以大膽啲。」我勉強開口,聲音卻顫得支離破碎,暴露了我掩不住的慌亂。66Please respect copyright.PENANAEBybXI15tD
66Please respect copyright.PENANAuCV4bB2KDQ
「好。」輕笑一聲︰「但最好嘅方式,係俾聽眾感受到你嘅熱情。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAhz2sXcI922
66Please respect copyright.PENANA5xP9T6LTRb
他的語氣曖昧至極,字面上的建議卻藏著更深的暗示。66Please respect copyright.PENANATnZPm2YMoc
66Please respect copyright.PENANAVKvgqDlI1u
我的腦子已經一片混亂。他的手指停在紙上,指腹微微摩挲著紙面,那細微的沙沙聲在我耳邊放大,挑逗著我的每一根神經。66Please respect copyright.PENANAeE6UN0RiI5
66Please respect copyright.PENANA4shWAVlTYX
「你覺得呢,思穎?」父親直直地盯著我。66Please respect copyright.PENANAV89ftpGt64
66Please respect copyright.PENANAcY0Kdf8cKW
我嚥了口唾沫:「我覺得可以。」我根本沒聽清他在說什麼。66Please respect copyright.PENANA5REccmPD3M
66Please respect copyright.PENANAZB9mznqFgc
父親笑了︰「好好。」手掌忽然覆上我的肩膀,指尖隔著薄薄的校服布料輕輕按壓︰「咁我返去先!」66Please respect copyright.PENANACg3HtS2DD9
66Please respect copyright.PENANARb2I1ucvAd
父親的手只是停在肩膀一刻,很快就抽開。可那溫熱的觸感卻如烙鐵一樣,一直燙進我的皮膚。內褲的布料緊貼著敏感的穴口,每一次輕微的觸感,都讓我忍不住想扭動腰肢。66Please respect copyright.PENANAWiyHB8XGm1
66Please respect copyright.PENANApHipHiYcpG
「我究竟咩事?」66Please respect copyright.PENANAkln0cDR4ll
66Please respect copyright.PENANARKq9nelxCY
「爸……」我終於從喉嚨深處硬擠出聲音來。66Please respect copyright.PENANA6jhNplwdUU
66Please respect copyright.PENANAQHaFbdJauj
父親看了看周圍︰「做咩?」66Please respect copyright.PENANAXEKosGAM1A
66Please respect copyright.PENANA1srZhHqoKw
我沒有回應,只是迅速垂下頭,長髮如瀑布般遮住臉頰,試圖掩蓋自己的失語。然而身體的每一寸都在背叛我。乳尖已經在薄薄的校服下悄然挺立,磨擦著內衣的蕾絲邊緣,帶來陣陣酥麻的感覺。我的手指無意識地攥緊裙角,指尖幾乎要撕裂那薄薄的布料。66Please respect copyright.PENANA3K40M4GPEp
66Please respect copyright.PENANAv3DYrxf9dI
「冇。」我冷冷回道。66Please respect copyright.PENANA05rGMhUUh2
66Please respect copyright.PENANAIR1FZauTdh
腦海中,那些不堪的畫面如潮水般湧現。66Please respect copyright.PENANAkEIgTsG3b2
66Please respect copyright.PENANA1FVtMnNHob
父親挑了挑眉︰「好啦!就咁啦!」他說,聲音是平日的威嚴︰「然後喺學校唔好叫我爸!然後快啲改好個稿,一陣間早會講。」66Please respect copyright.PENANAwoLnclOL3I
66Please respect copyright.PENANAKRESrdUehA
我點點頭,然後抓起書包離開。66Please respect copyright.PENANAiXdue5EFBG
66Please respect copyright.PENANA3uDT7tyeld
到樓梯口時,我幾乎是踉蹌著靠在牆上,大口喘息,雙腿間的濕意讓我羞恥得想哭,可那股騷動的渴望卻怎麼也壓不下去,就算是自慰也解決不了。66Please respect copyright.PENANAKIFCa2BtYm
66Please respect copyright.PENANApH9vQhEDMN
我走到廁所,拉起校裙,拉起灰色的內褲,才發現蓋著小穴的那片,全都濕了。66Please respect copyright.PENANAeOYNY1WCzf
66Please respect copyright.PENANAKUMW33lSUI
數日後,這股騷動開始在校園中尋找到新的出口,好像要以更危險的刺激來填補內心的空虛。66Please respect copyright.PENANAZLIjGImPfo
66Please respect copyright.PENANA0dUFhnM7GQ
【未完待續】